


The Conqueror's Third Sister

by CrazyScribbles



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV), Game of Thrones RPF
Genre: A third sister to Aegon, Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe, Angst, Dark Romance, Dragons, Dubious Consent, Incest, Mental Abuse, Mild Stockholm Syndrome, Physical Abuse, Smut, Underage Rape/Non-con, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-02-22 17:23:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 20
Words: 120,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22819810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyScribbles/pseuds/CrazyScribbles
Summary: She was called a simpleton, for she spoke with ghosts and birds. When her inscrutable siblings were worshipped by men and even the Gods, she was called the ugly fat bastard girl. She didn't share their silver mane or dreamy purple orbs to be worshipped. But that doesn't make her a less of a dragon. Will it? A journey of Irina Targaryen, the simple, ugly, fat bastard dragon.
Relationships: Aegon I Targaryen/Original Character(s), Aegon Targaryen/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 232
Kudos: 145





	1. The Bastard Dragon

Irina stuffed seven sweet plum candies into her mouth, chewing it along the way of stealing the remaining ten candies from her brother's chambers. Her father had yelled at her for eating too much, and he already hid her candies somewhere in the lair of the dragons. Mother had sweetly requested her to not eat any more, but the urge was hard for Irina to control. She didn't even bother to think to steal from her big sister's chambers. Visenya would burn Irina with a mere flicker of her purple eyes.

Rheanys would taunt Irina by calling her a _'fat dragon_ ' causing her to cry. But her brother would do neither of what her sisters would, and he never ate any candies, either. It would anyway go to waste. It didn't mean Aegon had a liking for her. It was just... he wouldn't care of her presence, even if she was caught stuffing all those honey laced plum candies. She was often invisible to Aegon's purple orbs.

Lady Irina of House Targaryen, last child and third daughter to Lord Aerion of House Targaryen and Lady Agnes of no noble house, had seen six name days, but forgotten by her half-siblings most of the time and they would never take her into any of the games they played. Visenya was nine years older than her and Irina often dreamed of becoming a great warrior like her big sister, who owned a Valyrian sword called Dark Sister and claimed a great dragon called Vhagar. But Visenya wouldn't accept Irina even as her squire, for she was fat.

Irina's swollen mouth full of candies dropped dead without moving, while her sticky fingers from the sugar and honey visually pointed her that the candies might be the reason why she was fat with big fluffy cheeks unlike her half-siblings' square-cut jaw, with high cheekbones. Irina always wanted to look like them. With silver-gold hair and purple eyes, same like her father Aerion Targaryen. Perhaps they might allow her in their games if she looked like them, but she took over her mother with brown hair and sparkly blue eyes, which was nowhere close to her siblings.

Abruptly, the wooden door screeched, and she instinctively went to hide behind the stool, forgetting that this was Aegon's chamber. When she realized she had no need to hide, she peeked out and found Aegon. He was making weird sounds.

"Rhaenys... Take it slow... Oh, Gods. Wait..."

Her sister was sticking to Aegon's body, like those juices from sweet candies had stuck on her fingers, doing something with her hand to Aegon's breeches that clearly caused her brother to scream in pain. _She must be hurting him_. They often played silly games, which she was never allowed to involve.

"So, tell me, brother. It is going to be our sweet sister, the warrior, Visenya over me. Isn't it?" Rhaenys asked, pulling something from Aegon's body that her brother cried out.

"Fuck..." Aegon screamed, while his back was shown to Irina. "How many times should I tell, I will not let that happen?" When Aegon said, he twisted Rhaenys silver-gold hair and even her sister was screaming in pain.

"Shall I join the game too?" Irina questioned, clicking her tongue to taste the remnant juice of the plum candy. Slowly, like dragons staring at scorched meat moments before devouring it, her brother and sister turned to see Irina in a panic set motion. "But, don't hurt me." She requested, crossing her hand to her heart.

"You little bastard dragon!" Rhaenys screeched, and Irina ran, realizing her sister was angry. Irina hated that name, which Rhaenys often preferred to address her with. Within few steps, her sister pulled Irina's soft velvet gown and dragged her to a corner, all the while twisting Irina's ear with her long fingers. "What have I said about you entering and stealing my candies, fat dragon?"

"Not to do so..." Irina whispered. "But this isn't your chamber. Its Aegon's and he never scolds me for that." She defiantly crossed her arm, but within a few moments her legs were floating above the floor, while she was lifted like a piece of lamb offered to a dragon in a steel rod. It was Aegon who was lifting her by holding both her hands up in the air, and she was scared when he examined her with knitted brows. "Drop me..." She pleaded as a whisper. "Aegon... I am scared. Drop me." Her legs dwindled in air trying to push her body down, but it was of no use before Aegon's strength. His tight jaw was absolutely terrific to look at.

"What did you see?" Aegon questioned.

"Nothing. I promise... I just came to-" Irina bit her lips, unable to bear the pain in her arms. "-to eat candies. And then... you both were playing. I thought Rhaenys hurt you and you pulled her hair." Tears started building her eyes with the ache from her arm and Aegon turned to Rhaenys with a smirk gracing his lips.

"Yes... Remember that. If you tell anything that you heard to Visenya or your mother, I will make a good fat meal for Balerion, of you. Do you understand?" Irina nodded, fearing for Balerion, which apparently ate two Targaryens of the past who tried to tame and ride it.

When Irina picked the candy bits that stuck to her teeth with her tongue, Aegon pouted his lips and a small grin started to spread on his face. He never smiled, but sometimes, rarely, he would give her a twitch of it, whenever she stole eatables from his chamber.

"Now, if I ever find you coming to my chamber again, I will cut that ugly brown lock from your head. Run away." He ordered, making her cower, and she ran distantly to the door, hearing Rhaenys's loud laughter. Closing the door behind, when Irina examined her bruised arms, she was able to hear her sister's voice.

"Do you really think that ugly thing was from our father's seed?"

Aegon scoffed. "Whatever... She is not a true dragon though. Who cares, sister? Merely a bastard sister for us."

 _Irina's heart ached._ With heaving chest she reached her solar, and eyed the Kookaburra bird, which her mother had presented for her last name day, which sat by the window. Lady Agnes was attached to birds and animals, giving hope to Irina that one day she would be able to ride the biggest dragon, Aegarax, that Aenar brought from the old Valyria before the doom. Aegerax was even bigger than Aegon's black dread and had tasted the blood of three Targaryen men and one Targaryen woman who tried to claim it. The last remaining of the five was Aegarax as Balerion being taken, but Aegarax was lethal and dangerous to anyone who approached his territory. Her father had been thinking of poisoning him, worried of enemies claiming that deadly dragon, which would be even more dangerous competition.

But Irina once dreamed of claiming Aegarax and fly into clouds like Rhaenys often took with Meraxes. When she had expressed this to her father, he laughed. "That is a dragon, Irina. The beast was named after the old Valyrian God who created the first dragon. You can never make him come under your control. But, I will gift you this for you are a dragon too." Her sire had offered her a dragon egg, with scales blue as crystal eyes of her orbs and she gladly took it, hoping day after day that it would hatch. She had slept with it, ever since her third name-day, praying to the old Gods, and the Gods of Valyria to let it hatch. But till date, it never hatched.

The Kookaburra laughed with a cackling sound, and she knew her mother was by the door. The silly bird, which was her present, never made any sound for her. The dragon egg which was her present never hatched. And Rhaenys's words repeated in her head.

"Mother, Am I a bastard?" She questioned before her beautiful mother stepped in. "Tell me if I am a true dragon or a false dragon. Am I a bastard dragon?" She asked with her plump lips pulled out to form a pout but her mother laughed kneeling before her. The Kookaburra flew to her mother's shoulder and gave a cackling laughter.

"You are a true dragon, Irina. Me and your father married before the old Gods and did all the rituals required for the Gods of Valyria too. So, you are not a bastard."

"If so-" She sniffed, wiping her eyes. "Why don't I look like them? They have silver-gold hair and purple eyes from old Valyria, but I don't."

Lady Agnes took her near the cushioned couch and made Irina to lie down on her lap, brushing her brown lock. "You belong to the Old Gods, my love. Do you remember the tale where I came from?" Irina nodded, remembering the old tale her mother was so fond of. "The houses, the names, are nothing before your blood. Yours has the pure, true magic and when you tune it, with a genuine purpose, you can turn the world the way you want it to be, Irina." Her mother ended swirling her fingers in air, and the Kookaburra flew wherever her mother's fingers pointed at. Irina jumped up seeing the magic and clapped her hands, finding the bird obey to anything her mother wished. With a small whistle from Lady Agnes, the Kookaburra started cackling again.

"Teach me... Teach me, how to do it. No one plays with me, here. The daughters from father's bannermen stay only for a fortnight with me and they leave calling me a bastard dragon. If you teach me this... I can make Visenya, Rhaenys and even Aegon to love me, mother. Please..."

"Irina..." Her mother hugged her close to chest. "They shouldn't love you for what you are capable of, but what your heart is made of. One day, they will love your pure heart, my little ice dragon..."

Irina made a long face knowing they wouldn't love her, who was fat and ugly. The only nice feature of her face was her eyes, with crystal blue having ice flecks sprinkled on it. "But I want them to like me... I don't want to be lonely, mother. None of them take me to a flight in their dragons." She said trying to wave her finger in the air to make the Kookaburra move, but it wouldn't.

"Forget them... How about we go for a horse ride?" Her mother asked, lifting her, and Irina nodded happily, for her mother was everything she needed to change her mood.

* * *

The next two moons that followed were followed by chaotic events that Irina didn't fully understand. Her father was often furious, and even her mother couldn't calm him. Aegon was disturbed, and he left with Balerion somewhere to the sky, followed by Rhaenys in Meraxes. Irina was left to her devices, as usual unbothered by any of her siblings. With time, she realized it could be because of her age. Visenya and Aegon were closer at age, and they often trained in the castle, competitively like warriors. Aegon doted on Rhaenys, for her sister knew how to please anyone she met. But with Irina being so small, they forgot her existence unless, if Rhaenys felt a mummer was missing in court. She wished her mother had a baby brother or sister for her to dote on.

Plucking a scented red rose from the plant that she and her mother had planted a few weeks ago, Irina lied down on the garden, which her mother whole-heartedly made. Irina enjoyed basking under the sun too. Her mother, Agnes, was born and bought up in dead cold North of Westeros, and so the lady preferred flowers over candies. Irina enjoyed their fragrances, too. When the breeze of flowered scent brushed her nostril, Irina chuckled. As she stared up to the sky, there was something like a bird falling. Irina tried to focus by shrinking her orbs, and sooner the bird came lower and lower, and she knew which bird it was.

Before she rose to run away, Balerion landed on the garden, crushing all the roses, tulips beneath its giant paw, that was scratching the mud. _Mother worked on this garden for a year._ She would be wroth to see it destroyed. When Irina tumbled to stand up, behind her, Meraxes landed, destroying the rest of the garden.

"This is a garden. You can't land on flowers." She cried, picking up those pretty yellow roses in hand. But in response, Balerion roared, approaching her with fright of killing and eating her. She wailed, unable to stop fearing for the beast. The dragons were scary after all. Only when she cowered and knelt down, did the dragon stop moving and Aegon slid down from its back.

"He has to agree. There is no way we are letting go of Visenya." Aegon screamed approaching Rhaenys, who had already slid down from Meraxes.

"Father asked you to choose. And will you not choose me and be content with it?" Rhaenys snapped.

"Visenya has Vhagar. Tell me, sister. What will happen when dragons go to another family?" Aegon questioned. Balerion and Meraxes both spread its wings and ran in the opposite direction, fluttering and making the dirt and sand pepper on Irina's body as it took flight. She turned all around, blinking her eyes to see all her mother's passion turn into dirt. "Father has to agree, and he knows it is the wise decision. The dreams don't lie."

Irina collected what remained of the flowers, and when she felt a pair of eyes piercing her back, she turned around to see Rhaenys smirking, with her hand across her chest.

"This new decoration suits your face, half-sister, with mud and shit."

Irina ignored her sister, collecting rest of the flowers, which was decent enough, with sadness and dreadness filling her heart. She could console her mother by offering help to fix the garden. What she didn't expect was to hear Kookaburra give a strangling noise that was different from what it often gave, which was like laughter. _It was ominous._ When ravens, birds, eagles, owls circled above in the sky, Irina screamed, stomping her feet on mud, unable to accept her instinct.

"Hey... What's wrong with you?" Rhaenys asked, coming forward.

"My mother..." She barely finished before running to the Keep, directly rushing to her father's solar, but there were guards already moving around screaming and yelling something unintelligible to her senses. When she entered further, her father stood dumbstruck, staring at something, with eyes that were bagged with layers of skin tugging beneath. "Mother... Where is she? What happened to her?" She questioned, but when her father stood still, she turned towards the direction of his eyes, finding her gentle, kind mother lying dead in a pool of blood.

"No... No... No..." Irina screamed. Her eyes blurred, going red. "Get up, mother. Please." Irina wanted to unsee it. It shouldn't happen. Someone should change this. And she would do anything to change this moment. She would jump before any dragon to change this.

"Maester Gerard will know what to do. Come, mother... We shall go to his tower." She dragged her hand, unwilling to give up. "Please... Don't do this to me." Her voice strangled seeing Mother's beautiful crystal blue eyes staring at the ceiling without a blink. "Use some magic and come back to me. Please..." She wailed, holding her mother's head with those fragile little fingers that was of no use. She swung her hand in air, trying to imitate what mother would often do, but nothing worked.

"Don't leave me, alone. I don't want to be here without you. Please... Please..." She begged, hugging her mother's body, while her left hand still held those flowers from the garden. The same garden which could be seen from the window nearby her body. With a tall chair lying next by her mother, she realized her mother had taken a fall after climbing the chair to look through the window. "Why do you do this to me? It hurts, mother. My heart hurts. You said you would never hurt me. Please... Don't do this to me... I won't let you go." She screamed, beating her fist on the cold stone floor before her father scooped her away.

"Father... Ask her to come back. She loves you more and if you tell, she will come back with her magic. Please..." She shouted, clinging to her father's legs. And moments later, she was dragged out of the chamber by her sister, Rhaenys, who spoke something about how dirty she was looking and how unladylike she was mourning. Nothing went into Irina's head, when they threw her into a large bathtub and maids scrubbed till her skin went peach.

Dressing her in Targaryen colours of black and red, they left her into her chamber and she saw the Kookaburra come and sit on her shoulder on its own will, for the first time. When she waved her finger in air, it gave a cackling laughter. "Mother..." She called, and the Kookaburra gave another laughter making her mouth twitch even while tears streamed down her cheeks, which the bird pecked with love and rested its head against her chin.

* * *

Six months after her mother was cremated, she laid the first batch of daisies, roses and tulips of all colours that bloomed in the new garden. Her father and she did the rework of garden together, while he listened to the tale of how her mother became Kookaburra. Although Irina couldn't successfully bring back the same beautiful design bed in the garden, the flowers bloomed at the same time.

"I miss speaking with you, mother." She cried, standing by the cremated place. The bird pecked her shoulder, and she nodded. "I know you are in here. But I want to go for a horse ride with you and speak with you. It becomes so lonely, you know. And Rhaenys laughs at me, calling me a mad girl for speaking to a ghost."

Not just Rhaenys, everyone in the castle thought her to be a simple-minded girl. Even the Maester was unable to believe she could solve some numbers. She knew how they mockingly laugh at her behind calling her names.

"How is my new dress?" She asked swirling her ballooned gown made of intricately woven myrish silk with layers. When her bird cackled, she smiled. "Today, my brother and sisters are going to get married. Guests are arriving from House Massey, Celtiger and Velaryon..." She sunk in that last house name, and the bird cackled. "Of course, they will pass comments on me and snidely remark me as a bastard, eventhough I am not." Lady Valaena Velaryon was her siblings' mother, who passed away so many years back. And as Lady Agnes was not a lady by birth, many lords took offense for her father's second marriage with her mother, which Irina recently understood.

"When you were alive, I didn't bother to understand any whispers and gossips. Now..." Irina made a long face on her fat double chin and started walking towards the Great Hall. "I understand your value, only after you have left, mother." She whispered.

Standing alone in the Hall, far away from prying eyes, she observed the wedding ceremony held in the customs of Valyria, which was getting officiated by her father. That was when a tall man, like Aegon, black bearded with pulled back hair, came towards to her with a smile. For a fine moment, she thought the smile might have been offered for someone else, but he approached straight towards her.

"How are you doing, my lady?" He asked.

"Fine, I suppose." She answered. "Sorry..." She remembered her curtsies, and her plump little form struggled to give a proper poise like Rhaenys, earning a chuckle from the man. "My lord."

"I am no lord, Irina. Have you forgotten me? This is Orys..."

Irina tried hard to recognize him, but she didn't quite catch the name or his face.

"That is my mistake. You were just a child, when I met you last, running around the castle with giggles and laughter." Irina smiled unknowingly for meeting a person who took his time to see her roaming. "You have grown up, now. How many name days, is it?"

"Six... No- Seven." She smiled.

"Your brother seems to be excited taking both of your sisters. Who do you think he loves more?" Orys asked.

"At least, he loves them both. How does it matter, who gets more of his love?" She said surprisingly very sad, staring at her siblings who again missed involving her in any of their happiness. If her father was not there, she was sure they would have not even bothered to check on her.

"Father cares for you, my lady." He said, sadly. "Do you know, I am your half-brother too?"

"Really?" She asked with wide eyes, but he didn't look like her siblings. "How come that is possible?"

"I am a bastard born to a Baratheon woman, by our father." He said with a distaste in his lips. Orys was sad, just like her.

"It doesn't matter, I suppose. They call me a bastard too. My mother often said blood matters, not the name." She consoled him and his sadness was replaced by a laugh loud as a thunder.

"It is what we believe in here..." He said motioning his fingers to his heart. "Doesn't it?"

"Yes, brother." She noted aloud, and he wound an arm around her shoulder with a small display of affection. Irina wondered how good it would have been if Orys also lived with them in the castle.

Following the wedding ceremony, in which both her sisters were standing as an epitome of beauty, with their hair styled and decorated like goddesses from unknown lands, the feast begun. Father took Irina along with him wherever he went and made her meet everyone, and although she greeted them, their instant reaction was a distaste of measuring her appearance. At a point, she told her legs were aching and took a faraway seat, wondering if Kookaburra would have had the worms for food. Father wouldn't allow her to bring the bird to the wedding even if he believed it was her mother. It would make Irina look more of a simple-minded girl, he told.

Rhaenys had taken great interest in arranging the wedding ceremony, meticulously collecting singers and musicians from the lands of Essos, who sand songs in high-Valyrian, bastard Valyrian, Tyroshi language and even the common-tongue of Westeros. It was a grand event with puppeteers, keeping their stalls and mummers doing their dwarf japes with so many lords, ladies and knights attending in their beautiful bright dresses. They danced elegantly, swaying their hips for the music, which Irina never learned. Rhaenys would say, "You have no hips, bastard-dragon. Only a thick log in its stead."

Irina refused to learn to dance after that, knowing it would not result in any good other than earning mockery from Rhaenys. But what caught her attention on that day was not Rhaenys with her bejeweled clothing or Aegon looking strong and charismatic. It was her oldest sister, Visenya. She was even more enigmatic than Rhaenys, but her face had a sharp dullness to it. Aegon offered his hand to Visenya, taking her to the middle of the hall for a dance, and they both swayed from one end to another with an elegant sway of hips and toes. There was perfection in both of them. In their looks, in their glances, in their disciplined moves, in their co-ordination. Everything was perfect.

After that, Rhaenys was taken by Aegon but their dance had no perfection, but more passion. They didn't move in a perfect rhythm but swirled to their accord, smiling and speaking in between. Irina sighed, still not understanding why Aegon married both of them. When a servant bought a fresh barrel of wine cask, she wondered if her first cup would taste good. Mother promised to offer her a goblet once she reached tenth name day. But mother was not here now, nor the bird to chide her.

As she kept measuring the cask, someone cleared their throat and Irina turned to see Aegon standing in front of her with a tilt in his head, measuring her. Everyone around her seat became silent, curiously observing.

"Come, sister. Share a dance with your brother." Aegon said offering his hand, and she wasn't sure how to reject it. But before she could do the deed, her father came forward and motioned her to accept the offer for the dance with her brother. Once she took his hand, she held it tight, wondering if Kookaburra would come interrupt the hall, so she could run away and hide. She didn't learn to dance, and she was not aware of how to hold his hand or shoulder. And her brother was tall... too tall for her.

A grim tightness settled in the coil of her stomach, and she could sense there was something not right with that freaky silence in the hall. Her nerves took fit, and she moved when the music played. _It was all wrong._ She even forgot those few steps that the old woman taught and Aegon was trying to compensate that by turning her waist, but in panic, she held his hand so rigidly, making him to miss everything. It ended up in her stumbling forward and stomping Aegon's leg, when the music stopped. All the nobles faces were set solid, but she knew how they were mocking her inside their head.

"Thanks a lot, sister." Rhaenys laughed, walking towards her in the middle of the hall. "I was wondering why didn't father hire jesters for the wedding, but you made sure to compensate for that. My fat-jester-dragon."

Her jaw dropped hearing that insult, and the whole crowd went so loud with their laughs echoing through the roof. Irina walked away, with her head held low to hide the tears. Soon, her father was putting an end to it by calling a singer to sing a song, but many still giggled as she passed by them. She ran to the garden, knowing guards would be sent by her father to bring her back if she went to her chamber, and he might put her up in another embarrassing mission to prove something to the Lords.

Till the sun disappeared and moon came up, she cried her heart out, but when the sounds from the hall started reducing, she picked up another bunch of flowers taking a stroll towards the Keep. At the sight of silver-gold hair, she paused and focused her eyes to find Visenya sitting on a stone chair with a wine goblet in hand. Although she wanted to go back to her chamber, her sister's face was long and sad for such a grand event as a wedding. Rhaenys and Aegon were glowing. Unsurely, she approached Visenya.

With just a stare from Visenya, Irina wished to take back her decision and go settle in her chamber. At least Rhaenys would speak with Irina, in some form of mocking, but Visenya discarded her like dirt. Although, it should hurt, in some way she understood, this was the way of her life. None of her siblings had any fondness for her, and she started accepting it.

Anyway, Visenya was not the one to share anything in her mind, and even if her sister wanted to, it would not be with Irina. So, offering the wild mix of flowers, Irina said, "The flowers have started blooming in the garden, again. This is for you, sister. May the Gods bless you."

Visenya didn't accept it, and before her sister was about to yell, Irina wanted to save her tears. So, she gave a dry smile and placed the bunch on the stone chair, leaving from the place. Inside the chamber her bird was sleeping, and she knew her mother was slowly disappearing from within the bird, the human feeling evaporating while the bird conscience overtaking. For now, she still had her mother's soul, and she was grateful for that.

When she opened the window doors and stared down, she could see Visenya picking the offered flower bunch and inhaling the mix of fragrance while touching the flower petals with delicacy. Perhaps her sister displayed very fewer emotions to others, but it always came out in privacy. Tugging the sheets over her body, Irina closed her eyes with no idea of what future was waiting for her.


	2. Flying For The First Time

Irina stared at her painted toenails, standing in her father's solar, as she kept hearing his berating that morning. He was yelling at her in High Valyrian. Every time emotions clouded his judgements, he would switch to his native tongue and recently, almost every day, he used High Valyrian on her. It had been two years since Aegon married her sisters, and two and half years since her mother became a bird.

When her mother was alive, Irina used to share her dream with Mother about how she wished to ride her dragon, same as Rhaenys, or how she would challenge Aegon in a sword fight like Visenya, on reaching her ninth name day. Her mother would offer a warm bright smile in response, while brushing her hair, pouring encouragement words of how Irina would best both the girls. But those were simple lies a mother would often concoct to make a child happy, no matter how big the ugly fat truth was standing before them.

With time, her ugly fat truth made literal sense with her appearance.

"Five governess, Irina. I have replaced five for you. But there is no change in you." Lord Aerion yelled.

Ever since her failure as a noble lady flashed before her father's eyes, which was exactly during that awful dance with Aegon, her father took great efforts to blend her into the society. Not only did he bring governesses expertise in dance, singing and poetry from Pentos, he also forced her to do physical activities with the master-at-arms, Ser Quenton Qoherys, much to the man's dislike, who only wanted to train warriors, not fat ladies.

"Do you understand what position you are putting me in?" Her father screamed and slammed the wooden table with his fists, making her flinch. He came close to her, with glaring dark eyes and quivering lips. "Tell me you understand what this means." He roared.

"I understand." She whimpered, wanting to run away to the gardens.

" _What?_ What do you understand?"

She blinked away the tears and bit her lips hard not to let out sound. "No one will want to marry me. I will grow old with you and die alone by getting eaten by the dragons."

Her father let out a sigh with sadness, and pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. "Come here, sweetling." He locked her arms. "Walk with me to your Old Gods."

And they went to the white-barked tree with red heart leaves, far away in the garden, where her mother had planted it as a sapling when she arrived Dragonstone, to worship her Gods. Her father had more snow coloured hair replaced for silver-gold mane within the span of two years. He appeared much older ever since her mother had passed away. He stared at the tree in curiosity and turned to her.

"This was a seedling, when your mother and I got married before it. She said, the Old Gods have eyes to watch everything through this tree." He closed his eyes, savouring that memory. "I can still remember her in that ivory silk, shaded with a twist of crystal blue when we took our vows. I have never seen a stunning woman as your mother."

Irina wondered how much of it was exaggeration on his part. Her mother was beautiful, but she wouldn't match up to the Targaryen beauty and her father's first wife was half Targaryen and half Velaryon, which made an exquisite combination. Even at this age, her father had a striking feature that so many women in the court often fawned over. 

"You say, she became a bird. And I trust your words, no matter what others think of you. Your blood and even Agnes blood has magic. But, do you know, your mother never once came to my hand? Do you think she forgot me?" He asked in a hollow voice.

"No... She isn't... Its just, her soul is reducing day by day into... a bird." Irina replied, unable to believe she came to accept it so easily. In the two years, the bird had changed too.

"Be that as it may. If I let you go on like this, your mother will peck my eyes out. You need to change... and work hard for it. That is your noble duty to our house." He said. "Visenya took a sword in her hand as a three-year-old babe. Rhaenys made the whole court laugh with her kind words and japes, even as a four-year-old babe. And you are nine-year-old, yet I haven't seen anything bright in you."

"I can speak with birds and-"

"You will stop doing that from today. Your mother died and if she is in that bird, then I curse her Gods for letting her linger in that soulless creature. No one respects you in this castle because of it. Everyone sees you as a-" Before he spilled the words, she finished it.

"-a Simpleton." 

"A Simpleton. Yes... They tell that and more. How do you expect me to find a nobleman to marry a simple-minded girl? You are neither Rhaenys nor Visenya. I don't even know what to make out of you. And a noble woman must learn to appear lovely, not like this." His nose flared. "If your mother had some inkling blood of nobility, then you would have-"

Before he finished, she was crying with loud sobs. Her bird came then, with a cackling sound, and flew right in front of her father's face, pecking him with its beak. 

"You come to me, now... woman?" He screamed. "Caring only for your blood... even after death. Did you even love me? Why did you come all the way from some cold north, if you have to leave me this early?" Her father cried, holding his head.

As her father yelled at the bird in anger, waving his hand in air, she ran to her chamber. Collapsing on a corner of the wall, she sobbed, wishing to be better, so her father would be proud of her as the other children of him. Even Orys had gained name and valor by leading men to fight off the last Tyroshi fleet that landed near Driftmark. 

Her father was right in his concern, though. His vassals refused to take her as a cup-bearer, stating invalid reasons. None of the lords sent their daughter to be a companion to her. They only wanted to admit their girls to Rhaenys's company. She was literally alone, save for the company of her bird. The loneliness made her to consume more sweets, though. What once felt as taste to tongue now filled some emptiness in her heart. No amount of horse-riding was able to change her size. 

Irina stared at her crystal blue dragon egg on the wooden basket and wondered if turning it into dragon would make someone to appreciate her. The egg colour was the same as her eyes. Crystal blue with snow flecks, and she knew this was meant to be hers... only hers.

_But why wouldn't it hatch?_

Scooping it in her hand, she briskly strode through the gardens. If anyone could help her give some answers, then it would be Visenya. _No..._ Her big sister would grind her teeth and shut the door on Irina's face, as she did all the other days ever since her wedding ceremony, when Irina used to pick flowers from garden to present. Irina thought her sister actually had a fondness to the flowers. But that didn't mean there was any fondness to Irina herself.

Still, with love, Irina would knock Visenya's door in the morning, and lay a bunch of flowers with different colours of tulips, roses, daisies and lilies by her door and run away. And when she would watch it from around the corner of the chambers, Visenya would silently pick the flowers and take it to her chamber, making sure no one ever saw it. It made Irina happy. 

Rhaenys and Aegon were a different tale altogether. Most of the time, they both were in each other arms kissing each other and after learning what the hounds do in a kennel during breeding, Irina cringed seeing them. Not that either of them cared for Irina. But this matter of dragon egg wouldn't be tried with either Aegon or Rhaenys. Only Visenya could help, and if her big sister at least tried to take notice of the offered flowers... maybe Irina had a chance, for only Visenya knew dark magic.

After reconsidering so long, Irina tried to knock the secret chamber that Visenya would use to dabble in dark arts. It was a common gossip in court that the only remaining Valyrian to use such powerful sorcery was Visenya. Hoping her sister would make the egg hatch, Irina tried knock the door, but it opened with a screech. 

The chamber was glum with darkness surrounding. Potions and roots clung from the ceiling and the windows. If Irina had any doubt of her sister's prowess, it was all muted in her head, as she started to fear for safety. Wearily, when she took a few steps, she heard a man's voice from inside.

"Leave him..." He said. "For me, Visenya. I don't care what your lord father says. You have a dragon, and I have a fleet. If it comes to war..."

"War?... Are you a fool, Daemon? This is my family and you would want me to leave my husband?" Visenya screamed. 

"Are you sure you want to call him your husband? He is your little brother, Visenya. And he seems interested only in his little sister."

"That doesn't concern me. He can have his pleasures as he wishes. I've had my pleasures with you, before my wedding." Visenya said in an even tone.

"Six years, Visenya. We had been together for six years and you didn't even fight for us, with your father or let me fight for your hand." Daemon sighed. Irina realized she shouldn't be hearing to their conversation. This was that Valeryon lord that both Aegon and Visenya were close with ever since children. "My father bids me to marry one of the petty lords' daughter... Please... Consider it. To be away with you, my heart-"

"Stop your nonsense, Daemon. You very well know how much I hate pretty words. Go... Go and marry that lordling's daughter and have fat babies." Even when those words came out of Visenya, Irina knew there was some sadness laced in it. Her sister must have really loved that lord to have pain in her voice.

Irina proceeded to walk back to the door before spoiling their time, and as she opened the door, the screech was so loud than what it was before. Biting her tongue when she turned, Irina saw four purple eyes burn her back and her hands started shivering.

"What is that thing...?" Daemon questioned. When Irina glanced at her egg, she momentarily thought of answering, but soon she realized he was calling her a thing, not the egg.

"What the hell are you doing here? These are my chambers... And how did you know about this place?" Visenya shrieked and Irina had to bite her lips to not cry seeing her sister's dark eyes. Her sister was too scary.

"I- Sister.." Irina gave a wry cry. "You are scaring me..."

"Sister?... This thing?..." Daemon questioned with a smirk on his lips. "Oh... Is this the sister you said the other day? The bastard sister of yours. Aye... She really is thick..." The man with silver hair famous for even Velaryons measured her stature.

"Stop it, Daemon. She listened to all our conversations. If it goes to my father's ears-"

"I swear, I heard nothing." Irina protested feeling already defeated of yet again called a bastard even by Visenya and her former lover. "Let me take leave... I am sorry for interrupting you both." Instantly she swirled to move, but her legs froze in the same place and she was not understanding how could that happen.

"Slitting your throat will be a second's work for me." Visenya warned. "Tell me, what you heard and why you came here."

In fear, she admitted everything, but her sister only half-believed her words. "I promise... All I wanted was to hatch the egg. I thought you could help me... so I can become a dragon-rider like you."

Visenya glanced the egg in her hand and shook her head. "Listen to me, you foolish creature... Don't come across my path, else the next time, you will become the price for my magic. Do you understand?"

Irina nodded, and the next second her legs moved. Running as fast as she could in her plump form, with yet another failure in hand in the form of egg, she surrendered back to her old life where the governess would torture her to learn the womanly arts and the maester would force her to read the jumbled letters, and the haughty master-at-arms would scream at her for being slow. 

* * *

Two more years passed, and she had seen eleven name days. Her egg had seen eight name days since it was presented to her. She had grown too, in so many ways. Yet her fatness hadn't gone. After all those lessons with the master-at-arms, she started getting better at riding the horse on her own, the only mount she was sure to have. Although she tried hard to stop munching on the sweets, there was not any significant change in her appearance. 

But none of those mattered, as she jumped to sit next to her brother, Orys, in the Great Hall. Irina fluttered her eyelids, staring at his bearded face, and he roared a laugh in response.

"Are you blushing for me, little sister?" Orys asked, and she smiled even wider.

In her years of living in the castle, Irina learned Orys's nature of birth, even better. He was the son of one of the petty lords and a Baratheon woman, but... he came from her father's seed. Initially, she quite didn't understand the meaning of it. But the maester taught about the lord's right to claim first night to any of his vassals, and how, many Targaryen lords continued to do that for giving healthy children to their leal small folks.

It seemed her father, Aerion, was trying to make healthy babes in his Kingdom, by laying with women on their first night, and as a result of that, Orys came to the world. Having given birth to another man's child, the husband had kicked and killed Orys's mother. As the sole surviving heir to the lands owned by the petty house Baratheon, her brother survived and thrived, trained and practiced with Aegon in the courtyard, travelled and learned. He was an inspiration, truly, eventhough her father, Aerion, was such an arse to do that poor vassals.

Because of all these complications, although none of her siblings acknowledged and called Orys as their brother, even Aegon, who was constantly accompanied by Orys, she was given that privilege. And she called him only when no one was around them both.

"Do I look appeasing, Orys?" She asked with a tint of red on her cheeks.

"Appeasing...? Hells... I would eat your fluffy cheeks, if I could. You are so tempting, sister."

Irina scoffed, folding her hands in front of her chest. "That was not how I meant." Orys took notice of her subtle difference in demeanor and he became silent for a moment. But instantly he let out a big thunder of laugh. "Are you trying to flirt with me?"

_Does he have to be boisterously loud and make me awkwardly embarrassed?_

"Why shouldn't I?" Irina raised her chin with pride. "You are my brother and perhaps, you can ask my hand to father, one day. We both could marry like how Aegon married Rhaenys and Visenya."

Orys listened calmly, but spoke no words for a long while. "That is so sweet of you, little sister. But you will get a better man than me. You aren't a bastard born like me. And even if I ask your father, he will reject my proposal." Irina was absolutely unhappy with that answer.

"But, you know what..." He lifted her chin with his thick finger. "There is always a special place for you, in my heart." With a smile, he offered a metal box so big that her hands were so full. "Isn't this your eleventh name day?"

Irina nodded, keenly interested in only opening the bejeweled box that should have been bought from Pentos or Lys. Her eyes gauged, staring at the jewels inside of it. "Are these for me, brother?" She lifted a long necklace studded with rubies and a thick blue sapphire as a pendant. It was stunning. She wore it around her neck and touched the soft, smooth silk that lied beneath in the box. "They are so beautiful. I haven't had a cloth that would melt into my skin like this." 

"Aye... The shops in Lys are much different and exquisite... You should have been there to see it..."

She threw her arms around his neck and held him tight. While parting, she gave a kiss to his bearded cheek. "Take me... I want to visit those places too... Lys, Pentos... all the free cities. Please..."

Orys gave a pat on her head and stood up. "Aegon could take you in two days, sister. He has a dragon, and he took me in it, to have a meeting with those rulers. Ask him... I don't see any reason why he should deny you. Though, I didn't like that bloody creature or riding while clinging to Aegon's back and screaming in air. Never again will I be taking such a dreadful ride. My hands will row any boat to cross the sea, not a dragon again."

Irina knew Orys was not interested in dragons, but she didn't expect he would feel so distant, considering he had the Targaryen blood. She could not accept he would describe his first dragon ride in such a distaste. Yet, she wished Aegon offered her at least once to go for a ride.

"They will not take me, Orys. But thanks for remembering me and buying these beautiful presents." She offered a smile, and they both spent the rest of the day swimming and running by the shore. Every time he visited DragonStone, she was in bliss to play with him. He even taught her to catch fishes in ponds. But the happiness would end sooner, when he would bid her leave.

* * *

On one such day, she stared at Aegon who was swinging his sword against Visenya, and they both were clad in their black armour, cutting blow after blow. Everything about Visenya remained the same and eventhough Irina was frightened of her sister's dark arts, she still laid fresh flowers every day by Visenya's door. It almost became a habit. Aegon had grown too, and now he was in his eighteenth year, two years younger than Visenya. They both were almost equal in strength, having trained in arms since a babe and competed against one another like dragons dancing in air.

Even when there was a shadow of a past relationship with Daemon Valeryon hindering their married life, Irina knew they respected each other.

Only, she wished they would involve her too. In something.... Not needed to be in a great sword fight or singing songs or telling tales or taking a ride to free cities. A simple smile would have made her more happy. Ignoring all the sadness, she tried to find happiness when the newborn pups in kennel ran towards her upon reaching the steel cage. Adorable little things licked her and jumped on her that she rolled in mud, unable to control the laughter.

"Stop..." She said through giggles, and all the three pups stopped moving suddenly, as though they could understand her words. "Can you understand me?" She questioned with surprised big doe eyes, and they raised their heads at once. "Do you want to go for a walk?" The pups formed a line in an order, and let her guide them with its loosened chains.

When the bird came back to her shoulder, she screamed. "Mother, see what I am capable of... I can make them listen... like you." The bird riffled its feathers with its beaks and rested its head against her cheek.

She walked with them, talked with them and took them to her chamber to sleep with them. The pups were so loyal, lovely, and they listened to every word she uttered. She thought of naming the three pups as Aegon, Rhaenys and Visenya, in memory of her siblings who never spent a moment with her, but she knew they would unleash the dragons upon to burn her. So she named the pups as Bale for Balerion, Hager for Vhagar and Merry for Meraxes. Inwardly, she giggled knowing she owned three great dragons of her siblings'.

And, with time, slowly, she didn't know how or when, all the hounds in the kennel howled and barked, if she chanced to walk by them. This was the greatest time of her life. Even with none of her siblings caring for her, and her mother in the bird, and her father scolding her, she loved these precious times with birds, dogs and horses. Perhaps, because they were the only companions for her. Still, they were there for Irina when none of her family was.

After finishing her horrible singing lesson with Syra, she jumped and ran, singing that last sad song about a Prince of Pentos, whose throat was cut after crops failed. As days grew, her interest in seeing the knights and warriors fight in the courtyard peaked more and more. Every day, she would stand by the porch and watch the handsome men sweating through their armours.

As usual when Irina tried to go by the porch, giggles and laughter of so many women erupted from the Great Hall and curiosity diverted her attention to take a look at what was happening.

Terry Celtiger of Claw Isle, a lady-in-waiting to Rhaenys, was making her sister and all the other ladies jape and laugh aloud, while they were having a cup of tea around the dragon ornate round table. Irina wished to join them too and participate in their follies. 

_Do they speak about boys and songs too?_

When she took a few steps forward, Terry raised her hand in air and said, "Let me imitate a better version of her..." The tallest girl rose from the hardwood furniture and turned her head towards the shoulder. "Hey, all!! Look at my ugly bird who is as ugly as me... This is my dead mother, and she lives in a bird as a ghost. She bathes me, she feeds me and still chides me when I wet the bed..."

Irina's face shrunk when everyone in the table roared a laughter. _This is not fair... I never said any such thing. And I don't wet my bed. How could they do this?_

"Also, I am a stupid simpleton who can't dance and I sing so terribly, that everyone run the other side of where I walk... And I stink of dog shit... because of which only dogs come to my bed..." Terry said jogging and running across the table like a real simpleton. Irina was none of what that stupid girl said, but it seemed nothing mattered when Rhaenys and everyone else had their fun mocking Irina.

These girls were so mean, and Irina couldn't stand there another second. She turned to leave the Hall, but Terry continued.

"Also, do you know I let the dogs fuck me... Because I am a-"

Everyone gave a chorus response in unison, and even her sister was among them. "Bitch..." 

_"A bitch born from another bitch..."_

Before Terry finished her words, Irina jumped on that tall towering girl, shoving her to the floor and gave tight slap across her cheek. "How dare you call my lady mother, with that word? I will rip your tongue out..." She screamed and gripped her hands around Terry's throat, and all the girls shrieked and splattered across the Hall, witnessing the ordeal.

Only Rhaenys was screaming. "You stupid, silly girl... Stop that non-sense. She is-"

Grinding her teeth, Irina glared at Rhaenys in fury, making even her sister go silent, as her crystal blue beady eyes twitched in agony and anger. Suddenly, someone lifted her in the air holding her waist and stopped her from killing that Celtigar girl. Irina fought so hard, beating and kicking that person holding her, to let her kill Terry or atleast let her pluck one of the eyes out of the girl.

"Drop me... Leave... She shouldn't live to see another day. Let go off me." Her hands clawed at the wounded strong arms around her waist, but the grip was made of an iron fist that she couldn't crawl out of it.

"Stop fighting, Irina... Stop it..." Aegon screamed, moving his hand towards her neck and he tightened his elbow around her neck to choke her. But she couldn't stop the fury in her heart, and she had to vent it out. She kicked his shin so hard in an attempt to let herself free. He gasped at that moment, but his elbow tightened around her neck so hard that she gave up fighting and only tears fell like a stream of river on her freckled cheeks. "Calm down, sister... Relax..." He brought his lips close to her ear and said in an even soothing sound, while rubbing his nose on her flaring cheeks. The hot air from his breath steamed her skin, when he kept telling, "Relax... Simmer down..."

Finally, when her eyes clouded with tears and she stopped struggling, Aegon relaxed his hand and she slid out of Aegon's arms and stared at the Celtigar girl who was sweeping her tears from her red cheeks, which had Irina's five finger marks on it. Irina didn't regret awarding it to that girl. After all those classes, perhaps Ser Quenton's training didn't go useless. Aegon yelled at all the girls and Rhaenys for such a behaviour. Unable to see any of them, even Aegon, she ran to the heart tree.

She couldn't stop the fuming rage, though. It was bubbling like the volcanoes of Dragonmont.

Kneeling in front her Gods, with madness, she howled so loud, till her heart felt at ease and her throat dried. All the sadness of living beneath the shadows of her siblings, losing her mother were too much to contain for so many years. And when it bursted out, all the birds in the sky chirped and shrilled, like it had done when her Lady Agnes passed away and she was flying... seeing the world from the eyes of an eagle.

The air tasted so sweet... for the first time when she flew in a bird. At last, Irina flew...


	3. Losing Her Last Hope

With folded arms across her chest, Irina silently stared at the bald eagle through the windows of the Great Hall in the Stone Drum tower, while her father was yelling at her, seated on the dragon throne. She wanted to fly again, and the bald eagle that she warged into turned its head, promising to comply with her wishes.

"Look at me, Irina... Answer me... Did you batter up this young lady?" Lord Aerion screamed.

Irina glanced at Lady Terry standing with her swollen eyes and bleeding lips, with five finger marks on her cheek, standing next to Crispian Celtiger, her lord father from Claw Isle, who instantly arrived within a day of the incident. He didn't come alone. He came with so many guards, filling the Great Hall to ask for justice.

"She deserves it..." Irina responded strongly.

"Look at the gall of that girl... How could this go unpunished? My sweet, beautiful daughter who never harmed even an ant was roughed up by a simpleton... What else is she possible of doing?" Crispian bristled, holding his tall daughter's shoulder. And Irina scoffed, unable to hear their blatant lies. Next to them stood another tall, strong, muscular man, who she assumed to be Terry's brother — Terrence Celtigar, with threatening brown orbs that tried to intimidate Irina.

"Why did you do it?" Her father questioned, almost ignoring Celtigar's words, gripping his fingers tightly against the dragon claws of the armrest.

"She insulted my mother... your lady wife-" Before Irina finished the Celtigar girl denied.

"No... I did not. We were simply jesting and having a good time. Lady Irina wanted to join us, and I was as kind and polite as I could be. One moment she was smiling and laughing and another moment she jumped on me, screaming and yelling. The girl is mad and she should be kept in chains..." Terry Celtigar said with tears rolling down her red cheeks. Everyone who assembled in the Great Hall chorused making noises in agreement of the Celtigar girl.

"I did not... Father, she is lying. I am no simpleton... You can ask what happened to Rhaenys or Aegon... Please, call them." Irina yelled moving forward, unable to believe even the household was agreeing with the Celtigar girl's blatant lies.

"Don't worry, sister... No need to search for me." Rhaenys said sweetly, entering the Great Hall in her heavily ornate black gown, glowing with charming godliness, and Irina sighed out relaxedly. But Rhaenys went straight to the Celtigar girl and held her cheeks, examining the battered face. Next moment, her sister was offering sympathies to the tall boy, Terrence Celtigar, holding his hand and soon the court was driven entirely to her sister's charm by pitying Terry.

"Rhaenys..." Her father disturbed the disorder. "What have you got to say?"

"Oh... I completely forgot, father. Lord Celtigar, I offer my heartfelt apologies for my sister's behaviour, the other day. I hope Terry recovers soon and I don't want to lose such a pretty girl from my companionship..." 

Irina fumed, but her father interrupted. "Rhaenys... Tell me true, if your sister attacked for no reason."

"I am sorry to tell this, father. But, yes... She did attack with no reason. We all know about my sister's nature and I think it has deepened more, now." Rhaenys said, still holding Terry's hand in one arm and Terrance's hand in another.

"Liar... Father, Rhaenys is lying. They are all lying. Please call for Aegon. He knows... Please..."

"How is it sister, we are all lying, while you are the only one to tell the truth? And my husband, Aegon, is not under your command to come at your whim. Anyway, he has flown to Essos..." Rhaenys discarded Irina's words within a second. This was all pre-planned, but for what reason would Rhaenys choose that girl over her own blood?

 _Do you not have an inkling of fondness for me, sister?_

"Now, who will marry my daughter, my lord? She will carry these scarred marks forever in her face. Is this what we deserve?" Lord Celtigar demanded, making a fist in his hand, still throwing venom through his eyes at Irina.

"Is that all you want, Lord Celtigar? To make me take your daughter as my new wife?" Lord Aerion chuckled insulting the lord but waved his hand. "I have no need for new wives and I had enough share for this lifetime. If you will be happy, I can offer Orys's hand for your girl." With gritted teeth, taking offense of being offered a bastard, Terrence tried to step forward, but Rhaenys calmed him down by whispering something to his ears. Of course, her sister was always charming enough to calm even the roaring lions. "And for the matter of punishment to my daughter, she will be locked in Windwyrm and isolated from the court, until she learns better. This is my judgement... Now, you shall all disperse."

"But-" The Lord Celtigar was abashed.

"Don't presume your place, Lord Celtigar. You are standing on the lands of dragons. Leave now..." With that warning, he gave a displeasing look at Irina, who was astounded to see the events unfold before her eyes. She wanted to protest and cry, yell and scream, but they would simply disregard her as a simpleton again. So, she turned back to her bird, ignoring everyone.

_Anyway, the court was not her favourite place in Dragonstone._

* * *

Windwyrm tower was the loneliest of all, but it faced the sea from which salt water breeze graced her porch. And the tail of the Wyrm directly landed to the garden's other side. With Bale, Hager and Merry for company, and her new skill in flying inside the bald eagle, she didn't miss a moment of the world. Moreover, Irina enjoyed every second in sky.

Uninterested in anymore training Irina with new governesses, her father only allowed the Maester to educate her on reading about lands and sigils. Perhaps he gave up molding her to be someone she was not meant to be. But he would come every day and visit her and the Kookaburra and speak about the tales of Old Valyria before the doom. He would smile to himself of how he wished to visit the lands once before he died. 

Irina felt more at peace in that tower, instead of finding herself fail at court, stumbling and crying for every passing comment given by senseless people. And she had the eagle, her mother, her pups, which were growing big and bigger every day. With her father often visiting her chamber, she felt living a real life with real people who she loved.

If she ever wanted to see the world, she would sit on her father's throne armrest as the bald eagle and hear to his nobles blame one another over some petty land issues. Or, she would fly high and see all the dragon lairs in DragonStone. Sometimes, she visited Orys in his small holdfast and rejoiced, scaring him while flying close to his eyes. She saw her siblings too, who soon forgot her as she had expected, except Visenya who searched for flowers every morning.

It didn't matter, though, and she reveled living in solitude for a very long time. But after six moons, even for her, with only books for company and bird for eyes and ears, life seemed empty. The Maester's words were getting sour to listen to. She yearned to see strong men shouting and training in the courtyard, singers singing in Great Hall, and boys dancing with girls during feasts.

One night, her father arrived so late in the evening, climbing all the way above with weak knees and saw her brushing her long brown hair.

"Day by day, you grow up just like Agnes..." He said, leaning to the door. "You proved one of my worry to be wrong. Of course, you have my blood and you will turn so beautiful when you reach your womanhood." He said with a charming smile and wrinkles forming around his eyes. 

Her father was wrong again. She grew up, of course. Her old governess Syra taught her how her body would change slowly, and she observed those changes while she stood in front of the mirror. But she was far from beautiful. With thick limbs, fat cheeks, none of her girlhood spurt aided in adding beauty like her siblings had. But her father's kind words gave her peace.

"I am ready, father. From now, I can behave a good, noble lady like Rhaenys. Can I attend the court with you and roam anywhere as I wish in the castle?" She asked curiously, hoping for a positive answer, but he shook his head.

"No, my love... I can't bear to hear another low life scum, call you a simpleton, again. As long as I live, I will not let anyone harm you, sweetling." He said and started petting Kookaburra. "I think your mother agrees with me. Don't you, Agnes?" Surprisingly, her mother cackled a laughter, to Irina's disappointment.

That night she begged him, but unrelenting as he was, left her to succumb to her own misgivings. That did nothing to stop Irina, though. Over the next one year, she grew bolder with her adventures and started escaping the tower to visit the shore below and the small fishing town next to the castle, with her full grown dogs who protected her better than her father's guards.

Thrilling and exciting as it was, she carefully left one of her dogs near her chamber to act as another pair of eyes for her. Bonding with the bald eagle, she made sure there was an eye for her to watch her father. With Bale always guarding her chamber, she made sure to keep an eye on who came to check on her. It was damn easy to escape imprisonment. And over time, she learned to control many birds and animals she liked, except cats. Those were monsters reborn and eventhough she fought through them, she preferred to be away from them.

If she was not bonding, she went near the seashore to swim and wore rugged clothes to play with the fisher folks' children, who had lot more interesting games in store than what Rhaenys's ladies would play. They never called her names, and mostly they never cared much to recognize her. Vyl, Morris, Becky and Betha thought her to be a castle maid's daughter, and she bought them fresh baked bread most of the days to sup with them, along with their fresh cooked fishes that oozed with tasty juices.

One day as she was playing with them, girls and boys witnessed Balerion flying above, and they shrieked with excitement, pointing their fingers in awe at its dark wings, with a cry of happiness. Aegon was roaming everywhere in sky, and for a moment Irina thought of going beneath the bald eagle's skin to check if she was in trouble.

"Aren't you going to be awed as us? See, how big, the black dread is... I heard the Lord's son owns the biggest dragons..." Vyl, an insolent boy who owned a boat at the age fifteen and had the strength to oar it into the ocean to collect exquisite fishes, shook her shoulder and disrupted the sand castle she was building. Her little friends never liked him much as he was always bawdy in nature. Irina avoided him most of the times. He was the worst of all the boys, pulling her hair all the time and making her flip down to mud, but mostly he was harmless.

"You bloody fool... Look, what you have done. And he doesn't own the biggest dragon." Irina snapped at him. 

"What do you mean by that?" He questioned with eagerness.

"Aegon's mount is big but Balerion is not the largest dragon." She said focusing on reconstructing her sand castle. The boy, Vyl, sat closer with his shoulder brushing hers and peered down to see her face. "What?" She screeched.

"How do you know so many things? Does the lord takes care of his maid's daughter too? I heard he lays with any cunt that's available. Perhaps, he takes yours too..." Irina's cheek flared in anger and she pushed him down to the wet sand. He didn't know a thing about her father, and yet, he was boldly accusing him of laying with any woman. 

"He is my Lord father, you fool... Mind your words..." She chided him, but he gave a simple laugh and pulled her arm, tackling her to the ground. With his arms locking hers to the sand ground, and his knees on both sides of her legs, he gave a nasty grin.

" _Lord Father?_..." He cackled in a stupor. "Oh... Your whore mother must have spread her legs to your father, then. So, it's the lord's son who fucks you... Is it? That man has taken both his sisters, I hear. If you are his sister, does he fuck you every day too?" Irina cringed at his words and tried to shrug him off of her. But the boy had other plans when he leaned in and kissed her cheek. Flaring with shame and embarrassment in front of her other friends, she shoved him to the water and wiped her cheek with water. 

"Well, I kissed one of the dragon lord's sisters..." Vyl shouted, who had no belief that she was Lord Aerion's true born daughter, and so he was finding it amusing to tease her. "Maybe I will have a chance with the rest of them too. Spread your legs, Irina... Let me see if you have the silver-haired cunt, if what you say is the truth." The wicked boy boasted before clinging to her legs and dragging her in the sand.

Her little friends tried to push him away, but he was really the strongest boy in that village. And before she decided to call her dogs, the black dread roared and landed by the shore, frightening all her friends who ran in different directions. But Vyl was brave..., _or stupid,_ meanwhile Irina was stupefied. Aegon should not see her there. If her father learnt about her adventures, he would be furious and might even put her in chains. That was worse than fighting off the fisher-boy who was just foolish.

Sliding down from the dragon, when Aegon approached them both, she turned and ran in the opposite direction before Vyl himself captured her and dragged her arm towards Aegon.

"You, idiot... What are you doing?" She screamed at Vyl, who gave a mysterious grin.

" _Milord..._ I know this girl steals from your castle. She brings fresh bread every day. I captured her to give to you, milord." She inwardly groaned, realizing Vyl was expecting to get a reward and felt completely betrayed for providing him fresh bread. Her brother spoke no word before taking her hand from the boy and squinting his eyes to take a look at her. She forgot it had been close to two years since he last saw her. And with the dress she wore, it must have been really difficult for him to identify her.

"Are you fine?" He asked in a sharp tone with creased brows. 

"Don't tell to father. Please... I came only for one day... It gets boring in the tower, and I don't wander to distant places. Only till the shore. My friends are always with me to protect me and my dogs..." She was saying things, but it felt like speaking to dead ears.

Suddenly, he turned towards Vyl and waved his hand, asking the boy to come closer. Excited in getting his reward when Vyl came near, Aegon gave a strong-fisted knock to the boy's jaw, making a tooth to fall from his mouth.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Irina squealed at the sight of seeing blood and held Aegon's steely glare for using a cuss word towards him. 

"Did this boy hurt you?" He questioned, lifting her chin to meet his dark purple eyes. She was speechless. Vyl was her friend for the past one year, eventhough if he was an arse sometime. Anyway, why should Aegon care about her now? He never even bothered before, and he couldn't even recognize her when he landed. "Answer me, sister..." Aegon raised his voice.

Somehow, understanding the situation, Vyl tried to escape, but Aegon caught his collar. "I asked you a question, Irina... Did you hurt you, or did he... touch you?"

"No... Leave him be... He is my friend." She yelled and pulled Aegon's arm away from Vyl, who ran as fast as he could into the woods.

"Friend?... Do all your friends climb on top of you, sister?" Aegon bristled, holding her arm, and she felt anger boiling inside of her.

"Leave me... Who asked you to come here?" She gave fisted punches to his chest, unable to believe he would do this to her small, silly life. Pushing him away farther, she witnessed how he was gloriously seething for being hit by her. She didn't care, though. She had been using the cuss words and trained to use her hands sometimes, after mingling with her father's leal fisher folks. And Aegon's anger or his dragon wouldn't scare her, for she had magic in her hands. After whistling to call Merry and Hager, she glowered at Aegon. "I know the way to the castle. You can tell any tale you wish to father. I can handle it." 

When Merry and Hager licked her fingers, jumping on her, Aegon spun her around, holding a tight grip on her hand. "The dog by your chamber... Did you name it after my Balerion?" He snarled like her Bale, and she realized something was not right.

"What happened to Bale?" Irina gasped and instantly warged into Bale's skin. She howled in content, finding her dog to be not dead. There were iron rods around Bale, and the scent of other hounds irked her skin. He was locked in a kennel. Before she tried to learn more, Aegon brought her back, patting her cheek, holding her shoulder in his arm.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked. When she refused to answer and shook her head, he dragged her towards Balerion. "I don't have time for this... Come with me."

"What are you doing?" She said more to herself, but Aegon pulled her arm and lifted her by waist, to push her into the saddle, on Balerion's back. All her fight ended when she sat on the dragon _for the first time_ and realized her long-time dream of feeling the black dread's warmth come true before her eyes. She was mesmerized to feel the heat emit from the black scales. She didn't know what made Aegon search for her or why he wanted her to come with him, but the feel of black dread between her legs made tears form on her crystal blue orbs. 

She giggled and chuckled as blood pumped to her chest. Irina didn't even realize Aegon was sitting on the same saddle, behind her. Her thick fingers brushed the pointed scales of the mighty Balerion, and she leaned down to lie on his rough dark skin, placing her cheeks to feel molten blood flowing. With a bubbling smile, when she turned behind, Aegon stared at her with his slightly opened jaw.

"Shall we fly?" He asked, and she gave a nod, looking front.

The black dread ran on the shore, its wings slowly fluttering and raising above, and she held her vice grip on Aegon's thighs with a little fear. She screamed in joy, the moment its wings steadied in air. It was pure bliss, and for a tiny moment, she thought of claiming the dragon for herself. It shouldn't be a problem. She could try to skin change into the beautiful black beast. But her crystal ice dragon would be sad when it hatches. 

Her almost close to ten-year-old crystal ice dragon would be the precious thing to behold, when it comes out of its shell. And it was always easier to skin change into small animals as hatchlings over the big beasts and so she simply enjoyed the flight, until Aegon landed the dragon near the courtyard, from when actual dreadness started spreading on her chest. How should she escape from this situation?

The moment she got down, she fled instantly towards her chamber, planning to lock it up, until father accepted her apology. She ran like a deer, ignoring Aegon's shrilling voice, until the guards surrounded her in the courtyard. With a rugged tunic for dress, sand filled messy brown hair and a year away from court, they didn't even recognize her. Before they unsheathed their sword to attack her, Ser Quenton gave a thunderous command to stop them. At least the master-at-arms hadn't forgotten.

It was sheer stupidity on her part to think they would let her escape. Perhaps, more than a year away from castle life, made her be a real simple-minded girl. Either way, Aegon came so calmly towards her, unlike before, and said, "Don't fear... No one is going to punish you. Just come with me. Will you?"

Nodding her head, with hatred filled in her heart for all those useless guards who didn't even recognize her face, she walked with Aegon, towards her father's solar in the Stone Drum tower. The same grimness that settled on her stomach when her mother passed away came rushing back as a memory, as they approached closer to the solar.

"He is not dead. Is he?" She screeched, pausing by the door with shaking body. She didn't want to see him lying on floor dead like her mother.

"No..." Aegon assured, holding her hand. Upon reaching her father's bed-chamber she saw Rhaenys and Visenya, sitting at the edge of his bed, while the Maester Gerard was keenly involved in making a potion.

"Agnes... Did she come?" Her father asked about her dead mother, and she warily moved to his side.

"Father... Are you fine?"

"You came... I know you will come..." He said in a happy voice, but his eyes were red and there was sweat dripping all over his face.

"What happened to him? Why is he-" Irina felt her voice failing and quivering.

"He had a stroke, my lady... His legs seems to be failing." The Maester said. "You have nothing to worry. His life is far from danger and once the dreamwine settles down, he will be fine. He has been asking for your mother, ever since the stroke. I thought it will be best to call you."

Irina understood. Aegon had been searching for her to bring her to father. But her hand and mind froze at the same, while thousands of ill omen things sprinkled inside her mind. If it comes to it that her father would pass away, she could forever go into the bald eagle and forget the pain. That was an interesting prospect, but she was sure contemplating to bear his loss would be the death of her.

_I have no one. You are the last... Don't leave... Don't leave..._

"Don't leave..." Lord Aerion repeated her mind, holding her hand tight.

"I won't... I won't... I won't..." She said a thousand times before hugging him. "Please, don't leave me. I will be here with you." She promised. 

"Of course..." Rhaenys shrilled with sad big eyes. "Our lord father holds only his dearest daughter as his own life." Rhaenys scoffed. "We three are nothing to him, before his stupid simpleton." She screamed sobbing and Visenya instantly left from the chamber.

Aegon held Rhaenys's cheeks with his hands and took her out, where her sister was yelling and calling her a bastard a thousand times, all the while crying. Irina didn't care. After absorbing those words almost all her life, it didn't hurt her as she would have thought. Only her father mattered now.

When the night came, she still clung to him desperately, like a man clinging to a rock after taking a fall from the tall cliff. She couldn't even imagine her life without her father.

It took more than a day for him to wake up, but when he did, he gave a smile and she fell on his chest, sobbing like a child of a six-year-old.

"Don't frighten me like that, ever..." She warned with a flaring red nose and clung to her father like a leech. But his smile disappeared when he realized he wouldn't be able to move. She assured him that everything would be fine and she would attend him, bath him, clean him and read to him, day and night. And although he accepted, his life was never the same. 

_And neither hers..._


	4. The Heir

Irina pressed her calves against the red mare's body, hoping to trot it in the same pace as Orys's black war horse, which often took a stop for every twenty feet to allow her to join. Her brother often grunted annoyingly if he waited more than a minute when she missed following his pace. But what could she do? Her horse was a beautiful tiny thing compared to his monstrous war-horse, which she planned of warging into, if she heard another grunt from him.

"This has become too long a journey, Irina. Do you really believe we will find that leaf?" Orys questioned with a sigh escaping his lips, as he picked his water pouch to take a sip. "Nah... Not a long journey but a slow journey..." He grunted, condescending her mare and at herself.

"My horse is sensitive Orys. Don't try to intimidate her. Else I will have to take your horse for myself." She grinned, but he scoffed, unable to understand what she meant by taking the horse for herself. Orys was many things, but he hated magic, dragons and any power that didn't come from his physical strength. "Besides... We are quite near. All we need to do now is to go to the middle of this forest. There is a tall oak tree with a bald eagle sitting on it. And no... Its not a leaf I am searching. It is a flower, brother."

Orys laughed with a snort. "War horses are bred for war only, sister. Your mare is supposed to ride faster. I won't fault the beast but its rider." He teased, giving a pinch to her fluffy cheek, making it go red. Irina knew that. Although she convinced herself that she was a formidable rider, the truth always was a different tale when it got compared with others. And even horse ride was something Irina sucked at.

"And remind me, sister. Why in the Seven hells are we searching for this ugly flower since morning?" Orys questioned while slowly striding the horse into the dark forest.

"For father's name day, silly..." 

She smiled and went further in. Actually, they were not searching. She already warged into her bald eagle and made it to sit as a marker on the tree. Now she just had to climb and fetch it. She had been hunting the whole Dragonstone for over a moon to find the bright purple flower — Orchid, to present it to her father. He had been bedridden for over six moons, after that stroke, and Irina heard once from his tales that Lady Agnes said of grooming an Orchid flower. She knew he would be thrilled to have it with him. Anything that reminded him of her mother bought her sire to tears. Irina was a reminder too, who her father said was the exact image of Lady Agnes. _Except for the extra fat curves I have,_ she reminded herself _._

When there was no horse's hooves sound accompanying her, she turned to see Orys not moving an inch from the place where she last saw him. "Has your war horse finally gave up, brother?"

He remained still and silent. Irina never had seen Orys with a big, long, dull face. Often he cracked up laughing for unintelligible things that made no sense at all. But to see her brother have worried angry eyes, made her pause and take the moment until he trode his horse towards her.

Silence was the only response he gave and Irina hated silence. It made her go to lonely dark places, and it was because of those places that she ate more and more, which she had been recently controlling. She would either blabber some tales with her father, or go into her birds and animals or play with her old small-folk friends, but remaining silent reminded her of being alone, which never gave solace to her soul. Especially if the silence was a reward from her dear brother, Orys.

"Orys..." She called him dearly before he aimed to climb the oak tree. Without turning back, he clung to the trunk of the tree with his legs and hands hugging it around, like a lizard and started pushing himself above.

A loud thud was all she heard, and in a matter of seconds, her brother was moaning in pain holding his back, after falling from few feet of the tree. 

"Fuck this tree!!! Fuck this purple flower and _Fuck our father_..." He screamed when Irina ran to help him sit against the trunk.

Steadying him didn't make his fury reduce and with fear when she dared to meet him, his intense deep blue eyes, which were close to her siblings' purple danced in rage, which soon passed when her mouth twitched and laughter broke out as she recollected the memory of his awkward fall, that reminded more of herself. Even Orys joined in her folly with a thunderous laugh.

"You are worse than me in climbing, brother."

"Look at me, Irina. How monstrous I am... What was I even thinking when I hoped to climb?" He asked, pulling her shoulder to lean against his body.

"Well... You are bigger than me. That definitely is something to think before climbing."

He gave a hearty laugh. "You are thinning now and I hate that you are shrinking. I will miss those creamy cheeks that I always hoped to eat one day."

 _Such a sweet liar_ , she thought to herself. She had her curves just intact, and those fat fleshes seemed to love her too much to leave Irina. "You are angry at Father..." Irina stated simply, taking his hand in hers, breathing the fresh natural scent from the mud to that was soothing their mind.

"No one respects me, sister. No one is ready to give me their daughter's hand. Wherever I go, they laugh behind my back, calling me a bastard. A man deserves respect. Don't you agree? I am good at sword, and I lead men to war, but to what end? Had the cunt kept his cock to himself, instead of ploughing on any woman he wished, I wouldn't have been cursed like this." Orys sighed.

Irina loved her father. Truly... He was everything to her and she wouldn't give up on him for the world. But more than that, she understood Orys's pain, after all she received the same treatment.

"Marry me..." She asked in desperation, clutching his hand tightly. "Please, brother. I can give you a lot of babes you want, and Father will give enough gold and land as dower."

She wanted to spill more. She wanted to cry, telling that no one would want to marry her. Rhaenys had said a thousand times that, Tom — the stable boy with stinky teeth would be the only man to ask for her hand. And if her father died, she didn't think there was a place for her in the castle, the only home she knew. Although tears tried to roll down, she bit her plump lips until Orys laughed.

"You truly are one of them..." Orys said, ruffling her hair. "Irina, I love you so much but just as a... sister."

"So what?" Irina blinked.

"Oh, my sweet sister... I can't marry you when I see you as a sister. Its a sin before the Gods. At least the Gods that I pray to. Besides, in desperation to spite father, I asked your hand to him and he insulted me as usual. Why worry, sister? I will find you the strongest man, who will not roll in mud while climbing a tree." He distracted her and stared up to the flower. 

Her brother was not clever as she thought him to be. Unable to convince him, she too blinked her eyes up above the branch, and suddenly felt her legs float in air, when Orys carelessly lifted her towards the branch with his bare hands. She giggled like a child feeling his snaked thick arm around her waist and the contagious laugh transmitted to him too. At least she was thankful to have him, even if it meant to be as a brother. Still, she didn't understand the sin he spoke about.

* * *

Digging the soil inside the mud-pot, Irina placed the long bright purple orchid plant and poured sufficient water. She walked past the guards towards her father's solar and before opening the door she slipped into Bale — her dog, who was lying by her father's leg, on his bed. Irina always checked on him through her dog, instead of barging in to avoid disturbing him.

Instead of finding only her father sleeping on the bed, she found Rhaenys holding an elaborated ring that was shaped like a dragon breathing red flames. Once Father collected it, her sister smiled wide, clapping her hands together in excitement.

"Do you like it, Father? I flew all the way to Lys to collect this. These flames are rubies and the ring itself is made of rare black pearl." Rhaenys said pushing the ring into her father's finger and Irina felt so low. _And I rode in my horse to simply pluck a flower. What is a flower before black pearl?_

Her father chuckled, but his eyes lost its pride and power that it used to hold before he fell. "Why does a dying man need to decorate himself, my child? You should have bought something for yourself. And I will be more than happy if you gave me the news of arrival of a grandchild, over these sapphires and pearls."

Rhaenys sighed. "Soon, father... We are still young. Besides, who said I didn't get anything? Aegon showered me and Visenya with Sapphires, Golds, Pearls made ornaments, bejeweled clothes and what not... Even I am tired to count what I have. His last visit to solve the problem with the ruler of Pentos, earned him so much wealth, you know?"

Her father shook his head with a mild resentment. "And yet, none of you bought anything for Irina?"

Irina jumped down from the bed, unable to hear the strain in her father's voice. She didn't want any of those jewels or clothes. It was not like she was underfed or uncared, like her fisher friends who struggled each day to earn bread. Why should she worry if they would forget her?

"Do you want to spend our house's wealth on a bastard girl?" Rhaenys simmered and her father threw the ring on to the floor.

"How many times have I said you not to call her a bastard? She is your trueborn sister, Rhaenys. Do you not care for your own blood?" He screamed, and her sister fell silent. For a moment Irina hoped Rhaenys would consider their sire's words and include her in their life too. She knew it was greedy to ask such things, but her heart often yearned to be recognized by her siblings no matter how much they hated her.

With an even voice that calmed the tension in air, Rhaenys answered. "No... I am so sorry, father. She will always be beneath us. You should have done a favour by killing her when she was born. Not me... not Aegon... not Visenya. None of us will ever accept her as our blood. She doesn't have the Valyrian beauty, and she can't ride a dragon. The Gods have cursed her for a reason and you should accept it. She is just a bastard sibling for us, like Orys. And I will care only as much as I care for a bastard blood. Fret not, father, we won't kill her and I will make sure to find a boy of her standard, once she flowers."

Irina came out of her dog, returning to her own body and held her head in her hands, her eyes stinging in pain. For the first time in a long time, she actually felt the depth in her sister's words. And she realized it was the truth. So far, she always had doubts and questions of herself. Now, it all felt true. She was just a bastard girl. No matter what her mother or father said, none accepted her as a trueborn child and she would always be beneath her siblings... in everything.

It took another hour after Rhaenys left, for Irina to wipe away the tears properly, before she went to give her present, with a wide smile that she could muster. Her father had no joy left in him and she knew he was realizing how alienated Irina was, only after his confrontation with Rhaenys. But she wanted him to cheer up. After all, this was his name day.

_They will not kill me, Father. A stable boy or a steward's son or Vyl — the bawdy fisher boy will definitely like me as Rhaenys promised. And I will find happiness._

His eyes widened at the sight of the purple flower which often grew as a parasite on old trees and Irina just then realized the Orchid and she had more in common. Her father was her old tree.

Lord Aerion pulled her to his chest, brushing her brown hairs. "You won't pay the price of my sins, sweetling. You won't... I promise." He whispered, giving a kiss to her forehead. Irina found her heaven in his arms.

* * *

_A year later,_

Irina used the tortoise shelled brush on her hair, to remove all the knots and tangles by sitting in front of the tall mirror. Her arms ached of holding her hands in the air for long time, and she desired to cut those long locks, instead of maintaining them. Immersing every day in salt water did not make her hair any better. But Lord Aerion insisted on growing it like her mother had done it and she complied just to make her old man happy.

"I will ask Sybelle to help you, Irina. Use the maid for your service." Her father said winding his boney fingers inside Bale's brown fur.

Irina was close to fourteen now and flowered not more than six moons ago, after which her hair started growing longer and almost everything of her body changed ever since. Staring at the mirror now, she could see her double chin almost dissolved but the freckles that splayed on the bridge of her nose, trailing till the beginning of her cheeks were more evident. Her hips remained bigger, same as her bust and bum, which that insolent maid found pleasure in mocking at.

 _"Ladies eat less and fat less... You look like a tavern wench more than a noble lady."_ Sybelle once mocked Irina, while helping her into a dress. Her father knew nothing of the maid's behaviour, and she didn't want that brassy monster around her to mock other parts of her body.

"I can manage." She assured, but threw the brush away and walked towards her crystal blue egg, that she had kept it by the hearth to warm. Somewhere in a library book, she read that fire was needed to hatch the egg and perhaps, keeping it closer to hearth would make her dragon come out faster. It was time for it to hatch. "Father... How many years will it take for my ice dragon to grow after it hatches? Will I be able to ride it in a year after it comes out?"

Only silence prevailed between them until she turned back in dreadness of seeing a dead man lying on the bed. When she found her sire simply stare at her with his ghastly purple eyes, an agitated sigh of happiness escaped her lips and she ran to fall on his feather bed. Every single minute, he remained silent, gave her more fear that he might leave her soon.

Just two moons ago, he had another stroke which made him grow even more thin and weak, after which she literally stayed in his solar, day and night, stating silly reasons, when she tried to nurse him back to health. Reading old Valyrian tales, singing silly songs, asking for tales he knew growing up, feeding him food, informing him her tidbit adventure to the nearby village which almost gave him another stroke, offering him a nice bath and showing him her prowess in skin changing were their pastimes. And she cherished every second of it.

And Irina realized, unbeknownst to herself, that his solar was filled with her possessions. Her crystal dragon egg stayed near the hearth, bird worms and seeds were placed near the porch, her dresses were splattered in his cupboard and most importantly, Bale, Hager and Merry were sleeping on his bed, while she was sent to rest on a cushioned couch near the hearth at night.

Somehow, her father enjoyed the company of those dogs over herself. Even now, their tails were wound around his insensitive legs, and he was still petting its fur.

"I promised Bale to give bacon. Did the cook bring it already?" Her father asked, not answering about her question of dragon hatching, and she groaned before sliding comfortably on the bed, pushing the dogs away who found a cozy place to sleep by over her.

"The dog can wait, Father."

"Mind your attitude, young lady. Bale is sensitive to your words. Aren't you boy?" He asked cheekily, making circles into the furs.

"Father... If you really love animals, then you should have gone for a dragon..." She sighed and swung her legs in air, observing her clean shaved skin. This was something new that she learned by herself. It made her legs pretty and shiny like her sisters, although they were thick in comparison.

"Who said I didn't own a dragon?"

She turned to her side, in utmost shock, unable to believe that her father actually rode a dragon, but she found his unwavering gaunt face, making weird shapes petting her black dog, instead of answering her questions.

"Which one? When...? Did you claim one of my siblings' dragons? You said a dragon will take only one rider. But all the dragons are taken. Did your dragon die? Tell me, father... Answer... " She screamed in excitement but he simply huffed, petting the dog, instead of letting out a word.

Her father did that most of the time, doing something incorrigible to irritate her, if she often asked questions. She understood why he was doing. Probably, because of her pestering tendencies to press on matters, but now, she wasn't ready to let him go. She desperately wanted to know about dragons.

Irina silently slipped beneath all the birds on the porch, starting from bald eagle, cuckoo, two parrots, an owl, a jay and finally a hawk, directing them all one by one to fly across his face with chirping and cackling noises, before making Bale to snap at her father's finger.

"You insolent little monster!!! Come here..." He tried to reach her out with a loud laugh, and she slipped down from bed before her own dogs started to snap at her for disturbing their new master. Just as she ran to the door with giggles, she dashed her head against a hard metal and her head started spinning. She could hear her father chiding from his bed, "Clumsy as always..."

"Careful, sister... Too early to leave the world." Aegon whispered to her ear, holding her arm, and she felt something sticky drip down her cheek. It was his jagged armour that she collided against and blood was drenching her long gown. "That is... a lot of blood." He stated.

"Blood? Is she bleeding? Aegon... Call for the maester." Her father was screaming, and she knew he would be trying to jump down from bed in panic, even with his condition.

"Nothing to worry, father. Let me handle it." Her brother, who never once cared to even look at her face, said it so affectionately that her mouth parted in shock. "Come with me, sister. Let us clean your wound."

She sat on a chair, in her father's study, and wiped the blood from her cheek with her bare hand, until Aegon came with a clean cloth, dipping it in warm water. When she tried to take the offered cloth, he refused to hand it over and pulled her chin above to observe the wound he caused. She herself forgot when she saw him last. A year or two, perhaps. Often he fought with their sire, over the matters of involving in the war at East, and all those times she had only seen him through the eyes of Bale. If any of her siblings came to her father's solar, Irina would disappear, not willing to face them, except for Rhaenys, who would come to search for Irina just so she could mock and tease. But Irina would find solace that atleast she would search for her... unlike Aegon or Visenya.

Aegon had really grown up. More like a man, than as a boy, that she last remembered. His squire cut defined jaw was covered with silver-gold beard and his purple eyes had an intensity of a soon to be lord who derived power and charisma about wherever he moved. 

"Not a deep wound... You won't have a scar." Aegon said and wiped the blood from her face. "But what difference would it make? With or without scar, you are going to remain..." He didn't need to finish it. She already knew what he was about to tell. _'Ugly...'_ — It was the word he didn't let out, but with that grin that settled on his face, she confirmed it. Spiteful as she felt, she contained her anger inside her heart, knowing her father would feel disturbed if she fought with Aegon. But she held his wrist to stop, unable to contain the surge of emotion.

And being the stronger one, he shoved her hand and cleaned her face, laboriously. "Thank you, brother... Shall I leave?" She asked with gritted teeth.

Instead of hearing her words, he knelt before her chair, and trailed a fresh wet cloth near her neck, where the blood had rolled down to. "Tell me a truth, sister. Do all the birds obey to your commands? How did you make them come at, father, all at once?"

"What?" she panicked. This was something that father asked to not to inform anyone. He said no one would understand and they would impale her with iron rods, for possessing such powers. 

"The birds in our lord father's chambers..." He stressed, as his fingers lingered the wet cloth against her neck where the chilling water started sliding down her skin and slipped into her chest beneath her thin dress. She moved uncomfortably observing his stare that trailed down towards her breast sensing her uneasiness. "How did you manage to move the birds?..." His voice whispered but his eyes were affixed on the water droplets that were sinking into her breasts, which was getting exposed slowly.

"That... I..." She licked her lips, hoping her father would call them both inside.

"You are like your mother. Aren't you?" He asked, staring back into her eyes, and she found his purple orbs turn into a dark colour close to black. Did he know everything about her mother? Why was he getting angry? Or was he really feeling angry? Was it something else?

Aegon continued. "The same eyes... that seduced my father. The same tricks... and the same lying lips." He said shifting his gaze on her lips and down to her neck, from where water drops were doing their work in spoiling her modesty, gradually. And his eyes glued there with no shame. "You have grown up a lot..." He said with a slightly parted mouth, waiting eagerly for her reply.

"Perhaps, we should leave, Aegon."

"What is the hurry, Irina? Let me help you. Father will be on clouds, if he learns we get along well." He said, and with painfully slow movements of his wrist, he dragged the cloth to wipe the blood, bringing it lower and lower, near the beginning of her mounds, until she held his wrist with both her hands. 

"I have two most beautiful wives, Irina. Every man from East to West is jealous of me. You don't have to worry that I will be salacious with you. I am not our prickly lord father to fall for lower blood, like you." He spat out venomously, instantly changing his nature at once.

Her eyes tinged, and she slapped his hand away, that was cleaning the blood. Aegon twisted his brows in a monstrous way out of anger, and he took a handful of her dress near her belly and dragged her towards the edge of the chair.

"And what is this matter with you, always raising your hand? Do you not have any respect for the men in this family?" He snarled, not forgetting the last time she gave punches to his chest when he bruised Vyl.

"Oh... I do have a lot of respect, brother... only to those who deserves..." She said with a hint of mocking smile, eventhough her heart was rapidly beating in fear of seeing his wroth. He was really scary, and she reminded herself to keep one of her dogs outside to know of any intruders. This would be the last time. When her father started enquiring about the situation, he clenched his fist more tight, before loosening it for once and all, letting her go. 

Irina couldn't gather why he was behaving so odd.

* * *

Exactly five moons later, two moons after her fourteenth name day, when Irina was collecting flowers from the garden to fill her father's solar, which started stinking recently, her mother, the Kookaburra gave a strangling cry and she didn't need to stomp on ground in pain of knowing what had happened. Slipping into Bale, she saw her father gasp for air one last time, before he stared at her with a smile on his lips and tears in his eyes.

And her whole world crashed down. The only world she cherished and worshiped, had collapsed before her eyes. Irina howled and laid Bale's head on her father's chest, but that was all she could do. After an hour, she slipped back into her own body, and stared at the flowers in her hand. 

With tears streaming down her cheek, she silently collected all the flowers, buds and half buds from the garden that she and her father had created, while the fresh memory of those days still lied thick on her head. With the help of servants to pick all the flowers, she walked to his solar to keep it on his frail, weak body, which was once monstrously huge as Aegon's, when it used to hold her in air and protect her.

 _No one should tell Lord Aerion stank before he died_ , she thought. 

Hours later, when her siblings arrived, upon hearing the news, Rhaenys started weeping over their father's body. Visenya was holding Aegon's hand tightly, expressing her grief while Aegon himself had red eyes. Irina couldn't stop wishing that her father learned to connect with one of her animals. He could forever be with her, even if it was only the slightest remaining of his soul.

Within that evening, Orys, Lord Celtigar and Lord Valeryon arrived, before his body was bought to the courtyard for cremation. As the three great dragons hurled fire from atop, her father's bones and skin turned into ashes.

Irina settled back to WindWyrm tower that night, feeling lonely than ever, bearing scars and memories that would never fade. Her mother left when she was younger, and now her father left her too. With a burning hole in her heart, Irina swallowed the wail that emerged out by shoving her head into the pillow unable to bear the pain her father's loss was causing. She gripped her thick blanket and covered her head, hoping to disappear underneath it. It was not like anyone would notice her. No one would know...

Suddenly a knock on the door startled her, and she instantly grabbed something close in fear, which happened to be a brush, before a tall man entered.

"My lady, Shall I come in?"

It was Ser Quenton, and she sighed a relief. "Yes, Ser." She said and pulled a cloak around her shoulder, walking towards the man.

"You are summoned to the Throne room." He said with a sad smile.

"Summon? At this hour?" Irina badly wanted get under the bald eagle's skin. All her birds and dogs were in her father's solar still, and she knew flying a bird at this hour would raise questions. "Am I in trouble?"

She wanted to ask if her siblings were going to throw her out of the gates at this hour. But she was aware of Ser Quenton's unbreakable bond with Aegon, which meant she would receive no answer. Moreover, Orys was still in the castle. At least he wouldn't let her be thrown away at this hour.

As they walked closer to the throne room, Irina tensed and clenched her hands tight around Ser Quenton's arms. Aegon knew about her warging skills and he might have planned of impaling her after father died. That should be the only reason.

"Your father..." Ser Quenton began. "Before he died, he sent missives to all his vassals declaring you as his legal heir. And..."

_"What!!!"_

_He didn't do it. He wouldn't. He should have known they would light me in the same pyre as his._

Oh Gods...


	5. The Two Brothers

Before reaching the throne room, Irina's heart started pounding and she badly, badly wished her father was alive when he made such a careless decision. Ser Quenton's arm wound tight around hers, for her to even think of escaping. But, if she carefully plotted, Irina could bring Bale, Hager and Merry down to attack the master-at-arms and run for her life, before they arrested and locked her in the Dragonstone dungeon or worse before they put her to the dragon's fire.

She wiped the sweat on her palms, unceremoniously on her cloak, when they started crossing the courtyard where Balerion and Meraxes were lying calmly, breathing hot air. Something was amiss. She could sense. The dragons were never kept in the courtyard and to find both lying so calmly... With the bones that was splattered around, Irina realized they were fed after the cremation got over. But...

_Where is Vhagar?_

A loud roaring cry in the sky woke both the dragons on the ground, which were not chained in the first place. Balerion and Meraxes bellowed out a huge shrilling cry in response directing at Vhagar, which was been ridden by Visenya. Even Ser Quenton stopped on his tracks to witness the scene.

More to Irina's displeasure, Vhagar was flying close to the WindWyrm tower, from where she was escorted from moments ago.

_My sister is on wrath. Is she searching to burn me? Why Balerion and Meraxes are still on the ground? Perhaps I will die, the same day my father died. How poetic!!!_

"We should put an end to this folly, sooner. Walk with me, my lady." Ser Quenton urged, practically dragging her towards the direction of the throne room, but even his shoulders had tension to it, which meant things were not going well for her.

Irina knew she stood no chance, after rousing the tempers of three dragons who never once considered her to be their sister. If she planned on escaping at all, then she had to act fast. Suddenly switching beneath Bale's skin, she stared at a locked chamber which was dark for her to even understand which place this was. The howls of Merry and Hager guaranteed her that the dogs were alive and close, but locked and arrested.

Ser Quenton was holding her soulless body in hand with a serious frown on his face, when she returned to real life. "You lost me there, my lady. Are you doing well? Do I need to call for the Maester?"

"My dogs... Where are they? And my birds..." She almost wept with her quivering lips, shaking in fear of losing them all in one day. Ser Quenton steadied her with a long sigh.

"I should not be telling you this. And I even insisted Aegon that there is no need for him to worry about this matter of inheritance. It was your brother who insisted the guards to collect all your birds and animals from Lord Aerion's chamber and keep them locked. I am sure he will give them back. You see, from now, that solar will belong to Aegon, not to your father."

Irina had no time to process his words. Aegon knew of her warging skills and if he planned to lock them up, it only meant he was going to kill her and make sure her life would not linger on any of her bonded animals. With shaking legs, she fell on the ground, still hearing Vhagar make thundering noises in air.

"Are you fine? Gods... Why are you sweating like this?"

"I think I could use the Maester's help." She answered and waited for Ser Quenton to leave her, so she could find some dark corner to hide for now and escape when the opportunity came.

And her only chance of survival came in the form of her brother. "Perhaps, I can watch Irina, while you bring the Maester here, Ser Quenton?" Orys asked helping her up on feet. 

The master-at-arms was not a stupid man to be fooled, but he glanced up the sky staring at the magnificent beast and gave a gasping nod.

"Things will get ugly, if the girl dies, Orys. Take her to the courtroom and tell her what she needs to do. Make her repeat the right words." Ser Quenton advised and turned to run towards the direction of the Maester's chambers and Irina realized the knight was still thinking her as a simpleton who should be spared.

With a serious face of a deranged lion, Orys turned her shoulders towards him. "Irina, listen to me." He cupped her chin and stared directly at her eyes. "When Aegon tells you about the will Lord Aerion made, you will tell that you are forfeiting those claims and you will swear that you accept your brother, Aegon, as the sole heir of Dragonstone and all the wealth secured by House Targaryen."

She blinked her eyes twice and held his thick arms with shaking fingers. Why wasn't he making any sense to her? There was no need for her to swear any words. They had three great bonded dragons, which would take years of training for Irina to bring it into her control. The vassal lords of the House Targaryen would submit before someone who wielded power. Not to the ugly, fat bastard girl. And Visenya was not circling in sky to enjoy the cold wind, but to do a cold-blooded murder.

But Aegon had called her to the court. Why could that be?

"I have never seen Aegon go mad like this and Visenya..." Orys stared up to the sky. "Aegon should be able to calm her. You can't blame her anger. After all, she was passed down not once but twice. She doesn't like the idea of even getting competed against you."

Of course, this was not about competition or fear... but about pride. The thought of losing their rights to a bastard sister had ignited their fury over grief of their father's death. In which case...

"Visenya will burn me. No matter what I do.... She will burn me. Right?" Irina questioned her brother.

"Aegon will not let her do it. All this is insulting enough for them and there are few Lords who asked few uncomfortable questions... which none of our half-siblings liked." Orys informed, and that made her guts twist further. "Once you forfeit the claim..."

"What did the Lords tell?"

"A few lords along with Velaryon and Celtigar laughed and declared the missive as a jape. But house Massey often had close trade on the ports and respected our father. And they expressed some words which said they are not completely satisfied with Aegon's declaration as the rightful sole heir when the letter says otherwise."

What Orys didn't tell was, House Massey was plotting to make use of this dispute to gain something in their favour. Aegon would have smelled it.

"Orys." Irina called him in desperation. "Please, don't let me die. Please... No matter what I say, they will kill me. They never had any love for me, and this matter of dispute can be solved with only one answer... which is my clean death."

She thought her brother would not understand, and he might still drag her to the court. Instead, he gave a long sigh and scratched his beard with some thought. "When the court was called, Visenya unsheathed Dark Sister and rested it on my neck, calling me a schemer and a lying bastard in front of everyone. Because I have always been close with you. It was Aegon who calmed her, after which she stormed out and flew to the sky. Besides, no one trusts a bastard, no matter how close you are... Do you think they will let me live after you die?"

Irina swallowed and tried to contain the tears that were threatening to fall. "Let us leave from here and hide... or go somewhere else until the storm calms. I don't want to be burned, Orys."

"Impossible..." Orys shrugged her hand off of him. "We can't run, sister. There are guards everywhere. Besides..." Her brother was fretting in fear of doing something drastic, and she knew he wouldn't accept her suggestion easily. After all, the only man Aegon trusted close to his own life was Orys, even if their sisters didn't care.

Irina pulled his collar down, clutching it tightly like a lifeline, and stared into his ocean blue eyes. "Trust me. Help me." She said in a soothing voice and Orys suddenly turned calm. "We can do this if we work together." She assured through her words.

She knew it wouldn't work. Orys would never betray Aegon, and if he learned of Orys helping Irina, he might slaughter the whole world to burn them both. But Orys surprised even Irina when he nodded and agreed to her plan. She didn't know how or why he did, but he accepted. It seemed like she kept him in a trance to make him agree.

They had no time, though. Ser Quenton would be coming soon, and if Visenya even spotted their escape, it would serve no use, as she would fry them upon sight. The only way to escape the castle was through WindWyrm tower, from where she often escaped every day into the shore to play with her fisherfolk friends.

She took his arms and guided back to the same path they walked from the tower, taking each step so calmly and politely as though nothing was getting conspired. The guards were not aware of this situation to be alert, and they all greeted Orys when they chanced to meet him in the courtyard. Upon reaching the basement of the tower, she took on her heels to reach the fourth level, Orys following her steps, and she searched the crevices in the stone wall for the key. All the tall Iron-barred gate required was a Key to be unlocked.

As she started opening the gate, Orys stared ahead with a jaw dropped mouth. "This is a fucking cliff..."

"If we place our foot right..." She winced, twisting the metal latch that was so tight. "I have gone through it a thousand times Orys. Trust me..." She assured, opening it.

When the first time she dared to escape, as a child, Irina thought she would break her head, falling from the cliff and die. Midway of dragging her legs along the thin extension of the cliff, her back sticking to the walls of the castle, she screamed and cried in fear. Bale was the one to show her a way. Following his footsteps, she went to the north edge of the cliff, from where the lands would begin. Even without Bale now, she was confident of escaping. But her brother was shivering.

"Oh, my fucking Gods... This is a horrific mistake. Aegon is my brother, and he definitely didn't plan to kill me. What in the Seven Hells was I thinking when I promised you? Shit... That mother fucker for a father I got, will not let me live in peace, even after his death. I should die with a sword in hand, not get my head opened by hitting rocks." He screamed while dragging his thick limbs.

They just had a few more steps to take. Irina took a deep breath and kept moving, holding Orys's hand to support him, morally. And she couldn't believe it worked. They reached North of the cliff, without any danger threatening to put an end to their life. From there, they should climb down carefully, considering how many rocks would be waiting to impale their heads with an easy slip, but a step at a time could make them reach the shore safely.

As though the demons of the doomed Valyria sensed her happiness, Vhagar gave a threatening cry of anguish and Irina didn't need to look up to see and realize Visenya had spotted them. She turned to find her brother shake his head in defeat. Even being distant growing up with her siblings all those years, she knew what awaited them. They had only two choices, either to reason with Visenya or get burned.

But, seeing the smoke arising from the nostrils of the magnificent creature, Irina clung to Orys's hand and traced back the same path that lead towards the edge of the cliff, motioning her head to look down.

"No..." He growled, staring down at the heavy ocean current blasting the rock beneath. "We will die."

Irina stared up at the dragon, whose mouth was hurling fire inside. "We will die either way, Orys." Her brother was reluctant, hoping beyond a point in believing they would be spared by their half-sister. She pulled his beard with her fingers and stared at his eyes with all her heart. "Jump... Now..."

All she remembered the next moment was her body hitting the water and a terrible pain of thousand thunderbolts striking her muscles all at once. _I should have died in fire like a true dragon. Water is not my God,_ Irina mused, as her body dipped so low into the ocean. The pain was beyond excruciating to begin with. All she could remember was her father and his stupid declaration. The prospect of marrying a stable boy with stinking teeth felt so prosperous than being staged as an opponent to three dragons.

The currents were not aiding her to breathe either. Before she started to move her arms and raise her head, water dragged her everywhere, making her drink loads of salt water. Somehow, all the years of playing with her fisherfolk friends gave her a foolish bravery, and she started twisting her arms and tried to float above the surface of the water, to gasp air for her lungs.

She didn't have time to search for Orys and she instantly rushed to the shore, and laid flat on her stomach, splaying her hands wide on the wet sand, while each part of her muscle turning sore and painful to even move. She didn't want to move, and even if Visenya came with her dragon, she would gladly give up her life, instead of twitching even her little finger. She rolled on her back and closed her eyes, groaning so aloud with the way her body was defeating her bravado of jumping from a cliff. Only when someone dragged her arm, moving her farther from water waves, did she flutter her lids and found her valiant brother, stare at her with his shivering body.

"This better be all worth it." He said and lied down next to her. His head had a gash from where blood was dripping. "Would she have really spat out fire on us?" He asked almost hollowly, unable to accept that it might have happened. Irina truthfully had no idea. Visenya had a dark reputation that even her father never spoke about and as a child, Irina herself experienced. "What is going to happen to us? We can't hell as sure, live in this island." He stated.

She rose and sat up, staring back at the castle. "It hasn't been even a day since my father died, and they managed to throw me out."

"Well, sister... I would have done the same for what our father did. He had no rights to write that missive. This was all meant to be theirs. Daenys the Dreamer didn't bring her family to Dragonstone, so Irina Targaryen will own all of it, one day. That cunt for a father, couldn't keep his-"

"Orys, stop spitting venom on him. He might not have been the best of men, but he made sure to give us the best of life. Father never gave up on you. He helped you take your holdfast in your mother's name. I am sure when he wrote the will, he only wanted them to not leave me abandoned."

Silence prevailed between them for a long time until her brother jumped on his feet and urged her to move. Her fat body was not fit for such exhaustion. She struggled to move, but he almost dragged her and hid her behind the rocks near the shore, unsheathing his sword in hand, waiting earnestly for something. From behind the rock, the forest begun, and she stuck her back to the huge stone, hearing to the horses' hooves riding across the path which her brother seemed to sense easily.

When she stared above, all the three dragons were flying. _What do you want from me, Aegon? To fall on my knees, in front of your lickspittles, while they call me a simpleton? Wouldn't it be a sight to behold for all three of you? Will you burn me before all to show your power? We should be grieving over our father's death. But you are chasing to kill me..._

Unable to contain the anger at all of her siblings, she pulled herself to stand and her eyes met the new set of riders in their horses and one by one fell down from their mounts as though they were hit by bolts to their hearts.

"Irina... What are you doing?" Orys questioned, shaking her shoulder, but she wanted to kill them all. It was so painful to forgive. She switched beneath almost thirty horses, just enough to throw the rider from the saddle, and everyone fell prey to her tricks, breaking their legs and necks. "Irina... Oh Gods... Look at me. Stop doing whatever you are doing with your eyes. Just stop it." Her brother was screaming from the depth of his lungs, urging her by literally slapping her cheeks and out of pure rage, she glowered at him with clenched teeth that he was thrown back on the sand. "How did you... Your eyes... Those horses were falling." His quivering voice was evident that he was in fear... of her.

_What the fuck was I thinking?_

"I am sorry, Orys. So, sorry." She said trying to help him, and a thunderous roar of Balerion above the sky alerted them and they turned their head to see Black Dread landing on the shore where the horses had fallen. "We need to leave. Come on, brother." She said, but Orys refused to move at all. "I will explain everything. Please, trust me and come with me."

Somehow, with no other option, he agreed and walked quietly into the forest. If Aegon wanted to find her, he had to fire the whole forest or send his men, who would definitely be wounded beyond repair to search for her now. The pain of her fall was taking a toll on her body and understanding it, Orys growled, bending his knee to the ground, offering his back. "Jump on me. I don't want you to break your leg in the middle of the forest." He said, and she gladly clung to him like a monkey, closing her eyes to switch beneath the last mount she warged into.

Happiness couldn't even begin to describe the feeling when she found Aegon's shit eaten face, which was scanning at his men who were painfully groaning holding their legs. Excitedly, she made the horse, which she had warged, to run in its full speed, straight towards Aegon, and the twitch in her brother's lips were giving her a simple satisfaction. Aegon realized it was all Irina's deed. Just when she crossed him, Blackfyre slid through the mount's neck, hurting Irina too in the process and she shivered, switching back to her own body, having the feel of black steel kissing her neck and losing a life while skin-changed. It was so much painful to die in another beast.

"What happened?" Orys panicked.

"Nothing, brother." She assured, but the dreadness filled her heart, realizing her fully bonded animals were in Aegon's control and what would stop him from taking their lives? Which meant if she ever skin changed and he killed, then she would go through the pain of death every single time. _Holy shit..._

* * *

At the middle of the forest, they took dwelling and for five days, Irina didn't speak a word or didn't go beneath her dogs' skin or the mounts she claimed during the escape. The more she switched, the more her senses were drilling down and Orys had already started disliking her for using birds' help to hunt for food. She thought explaining Orys would make him understand, but it only distanced their relationship.

"You can't stop speaking with me, forever, Orys." She screamed, picking the bones from the last fish, that Orys trapped with his own strength instead of relying on her magic. He didn't give an answer. He almost stopped speaking for the last two days, but she accounted it more on facing loneliness than directing his anger on her. Unlike Irina, Orys had never been isolated. He always lived and roamed with men. "You know there are a lot of perks to this magic. If you can only embrace-"

"Embrace?..." He spat out. "What you have is scary and dangerous... Do you know how you made men fall from their horses by just looking at them?" He seethed in disgust. "The dragons are far better to deal with. A man knows his life will end, when he faces the beast. But you... You hide behind rocks and trees and switch into animals, killing men like flies."

"Orys, they would have killed us-"

 _"You"_ he growled. "They would have killed you, Irina. Not me. I know my status and I befriended Aegon to make sure I am in a safe place. He considered me as his closest confidante. You never knew your status and father only enhanced your hopes..."

Irina walked away from there unable to shout and scream at her brother, who was just behaving like an arse. How could she yell at him when he helped her in escaping? That didn't give him any rights to blame it all on her. Didn't she get reminded of her status every day? Why would he have to say it aloud? It was not like she asked to be born for the second wife. Perhaps this was all her fault. What if she never tried to escape? Would she have been spared? 

Four more days went by, and getting itched of staying in the same old salt soaked clothes, she decided to take a swim by the nearby lake. Orys mostly avoided speaking with her for their whole hide, seeking enjoyment in mostly hunting for animals and fishes. As a precaution, she had bonded with jays, eagles and owls all around the surrounding to make sure no intruders would go unnoticed. And to Irina's surprise, there was none. Perhaps her siblings gave up and found solace that she left for good.

She badly wanted to switch beneath Bale's skin, to check on her animals and birds. They were what remained of her old life. After scraping her skin to get rid of the grime underneath the fresh water, Irina wore her shift, allowing her gown to be dried under the sun. Staring up at the sky, Irina saw Balerion flying East, and she realized after all, her siblings might not have even cared after that first search. Perhaps they thought of all this as good riddance. Happy and eager to leave the island, Irina jumped and ran to the camp, only to find Orys sitting with long sorrow face. 

Irina gasped a sigh and stared at the closest jay, on the nearby pine tree. Warging into the bird, she flew right across Orys and sat on his arm, hoping he wouldn't show his brutality by killing the little bird, in which case she would endure another painful death, which might take a part of her. He simply waved his arm in irritation. Fluttering in air, she again sat on his arm, making sweet songs in air, and finally after the tenth time, Orys bought her close and examined her.

"How the fuck this is all real? What is the point in me training like a madman for all these years?" He pondered, and she giggled with a song. "I think I love you as this bird, more. Have you ever heard yourself sing, Irina? It is horrible as shit. The bird makes everything better." He cooed by annoyingly insulting her and started rubbing the feathers of the jay.

Finally, when she came back with a smile for real, letting the bird fly back to its nest, he pulled her close to his shoulder and rubbed his head against hers.

"I was so worried you will hate me." She confronted. "I can't lose you, Orys."

"I behaved like an arse. Didn't I?" He asked, and she refused to accept. Irina did think of him that way, but she could forgive him. Who else did she have? He held her hand in his and struggled to go through something in his mind. "At times, we all act out, Irina. I don't know why I actually allowed you to escape. I firmly believed Aegon will not harm you. But you know what mistake we made? We proved them right that we want to take everything from them, even when it is not our intention."

Irina sobbed, lying on his shoulder. "They never loved me, Orys. I didn't know what Aegon wanted and... It made bloody no difference of what I said in front of those Lords. Everything belonged to them. Why would he call me if not for executing?"

"He was angry that father insulted him by sending missives to all the lords, just before his death. He loved and respected father too. How will Aegon earn respect when men whisper things behind his back? He always dreamed of greater things, leading men into war, resolving chaos and bringing prosperity to people, taking another step to a better world. He is a born leader, Irina. He doesn't like to be undermined, not by his father... and now... not by his own siblings."

Aegon was everything, what Orys said, and even her father often believed he would reach places that normal men could not. For sure, she knew her father did that last act as a hopeless failed man. Dragonstone was nothing for Aegon. With merely five thousand strong men to fight under his banner, Aegon's interest were always on East. To take back what the Doom destroyed. To bring the Free Cities back to the age of prosperous Old Valyria. She learned it from her father, who at times, mocked Aegon's foolish notions, eventhough he had a belief in his son.

_And why did I make an enemy out of him?_

"He left somewhere East... We are now safe to leave the island." Irina said regretfully.

Orys shook his head, refusing to accept. "This is my home. No matter what, I will go and face my brother. I will not run. Tell me what you need, I will do for you and be back on my feet to face Aegon's wrath."

Irina had no idea what should be done. It was not like Orys would be spared even if he went on his own to meet Aegon. _And Orys came for me..._ which she still couldn't believe he did, when he clearly wanted not to do. Either ways, she didn't want him to die. If it would be a confrontation, then she would meet Aegon by herself, once he calmed enough to be reasoned. Even if it meant the death of her.


	6. Reconciliation

Perching atop the windowsill of her father's solar, Irina peeped into her father's bedchamber, which had no semblance of what her bird head was able to recollect when she had dwelled inside not more than a fortnight ago. Through the eagle's eyes, which she had befriended in the forest, Irina found her crystal blue dragon egg lying next to the hearth which hadn't moved an inch from its place.

She missed her egg, with which she used to go to sleep every day. Except for the egg, everything in the chamber was displaced. The old feather bed was replaced by a new one, and even the hardwood of the bed looked different. The cushioned couch was missing and to tell the truth, it was hard for Irina to believe this was her father's solar. Perhaps she should move on, admitting all this would be Aegon's from now.

Irina remembered the reason why she came there, which was not to get reminded of her father, but to find Aegon and see what he was up to. The wooden door cracked open, and inside came Rhaenys, winding her arms against a man... _who was not Aegon._

"To the bed..." Rhaenys ordered and gave a kiss to the tall man, whose face was getting glared from the sunlight. But Irina knew it was not Aegon, for the colour of that man's hair was dusted sand and not a silver mane.

"Are you sure, your husband won't come?" The man questioned, removing his tunic and boot, all the while kissing Rhaenys desperately. It was like they were in a hurry. Once Rhaenys laid on the bed, spreading her leg, the man in question crawled onto her, his hands going to forbidden places of her sister's body.

"As far as I know he will not come. Now, get on to the business." Rhaenys directed, and the man bent down, burying his head into her skirts. The obvious sound and smell of copulation between her sister and the man, made Irina's eyes go wide. Rhaenys was screaming, but it seemed to be out of pleasure.

But, why with another man? This was wrong... Then she realized, did it even matter to her?

Some time later, when Rhaenys shuddered and gasped with shaking body, the man rose atop her and finally Irina saw for who it was. Terrance Celtigar... the bastard who came all the way from Claw Isle to condemn Irina for beating up that Tall Terry. He started fucking her sister and Irina turned her head, facing the sun, not interested in witnessing their disgusting union. _Where was Aegon?_

"Ah... I love it... Yeah, Go on... Right there... Spend... Spend inside me. I can take care with the tea." Rhaenys whispered with moans which her sister was trying to suppress but failing too.

Finally, when the noises came to a halt and when Irina heard them both moving around the chamber, she turned her bird body to see them getting dressed up, properly. "Aegon didn't tell anything before he took flight, about his whereabouts. There is no news of when he will come back and it will be safer, if you leave now." Rhaenys said.

"Now... Now, Rhaenys. It has been a moon since we last enjoyed. You are sending me already? Or have you taken another lover to your husband's bed?" Terrance asked whipping his hand around Rhaenys's behind and her sister gave a chortle with a sly smile.

"Do you have the courage to stand against my husband, Terrance? Besides, you are the one at my service. _Remember it._ Not the other way around. I am mourning for my father and while my lord husband takes out his grief by flying in his dragon, I seek comfort in your arms..." Her sister said seductively and curled her fingers around Terrance's sandy hair, licking her lips.

"Oh.. I understand your grief, my dragon lady. I am sure you wanted my service last month because your father was in verge of dying." Terrance mocked moving his hand around Rhaenys's bosoms. "And the year before it, because your husband forgot to buy you the pendant you desired. And the first time, years ago... Wait... I remember now. Your bastard sister wounded my sister. Although, I must say you were at my service when we started this."

The old memories flashed into her bird head and she wanted to pluck her sister's eyes, for giving false statement infront of the court, years ago, just so she could fuck with this Celtigar man.

Rhaenys laughed twirling her tongue around her lips and leaned on to Terrance. "I always get what I want. You... Aegon... This castle... I can't suffer to be the one to take the leftover. How do you think I made Aegon to marry me, when it was all for my sister, Visenya?" Rhaenys's eyes were full of sparkling mischieviousness that made Irina to cringe and flee at that instant, but she held her determination to learn the more important details. "The only thing I lost was to get my father's love to my bastard sister."

"It doesn't matter, anyway. The bastard girl is gone, who ran away with her bastard brother." Terrance gave a flirting response and pulled Rhaenys into his arms to give a passionate kiss, making Irina's eyes to go even wider. She badly wanted to concentrate on the meaning behind their words, but the kiss they shared made her gape at them like she eyed her candies as a child.

_Is there so much fun in all these? What do I know? I never even had a kiss._

Finally, Irina thought it was best to leave them both to their next session of coital and fly away which was evident with the way they were making noises. She was taught marriage was an auspicious union of souls and grew up seeing her mother and father shower love on each other. Although Visenya always distanced herself from Aegon, Irina believed Rhaenys and Aegon were the destined mates and inseperable. After seeing what her sister was doing, it seemed nothing was true and they three had their own lives full of deciets and betrayal. Why should they even marry then?

Just as she moved to the edge to fly, a knock from the door, forced Irina to turn back and Rhaenys instantly pulled Terrance's collar to send him get hidden underneath her new ironwood bed. There was no second knock, before Visenya barged in their father's bed chamber.

"What has happened to him? Did he really think shouting at us will bring her back?" Visenya screamed and sat on the cushioned couch with one leg over another, still steaming in anger like the last time Irina found her on the dragon's back. _Who was she speaking about? About Aegon and her?_ "It has been more than a week since he left. Do you have any idea where he could have gone?"

"No..." Rhaenys was fretting in fear of getting caught with her escapade, more than her interest in responding to Visenya. "I tried to convince him that it was a good riddance that the bastard is gone, but he was so upset. I have never seen him in such a rage before."

Irina's worst fears were coming true. Even Rhaenys seemed to be unaware of Aegon's rage. _Why did I bring this all upon myself? I shouldn't have escaped._

"Do you think I didn't tell the same, but he simply took off to Gods know where. If he wanted that brat, that badly, he should have let the guards search in that forest." Visenya sighed twitching her lips with creased brows.

"Well, sister... Perhaps, it is all a good thing. In a few days, once Aegon's rage cools down, he will come back to us and both the bastards will be out of our sight. Don't worry over this." Rhaenys consoled but Irina knew her sister was just spilling words to get rid of Visenya, so she wouldn't get caught.

"I think he is hiding something from us." Visenya said her eyes rolling darkly.

Irina flew away, uninterested in exploring deeper levels of her sisters' dark sides and worried only on finding Aegon, who apparatenly flew in anger. Where could have he gone that even her sisters couldn't seem to locate? And what was his plan next?

* * *

"What is happening? Is Aegon calm and fine? Do you think we can meet him?" Orys enquired and Irina rolled her eyes at him, for putting her through this entire ordeal of getting back to their brother. Anyways once Orys gets conciliated she would go on her own, collecting her dogs and birds, which she found to be fed and cleaned properly by Aegon's servants, to her surprise.

"He is still in the East and neither of our half-sisters know where he went."

"Well, you go search for him." Orys demanded, removing his tunic and Irina mind got flashed of her eagle memory of what she saw in Rhaenys's bed chamber.

"What are you doing?" She demanded in disgust and he let out a roar of laugh.

"I stink... a lot. A man has to bath at times, sister. Now, you use one of these birds and search for him. Go for an eagle. It can cross the sea and I think he should have gone to Lys. The serenity often soothes him."

Irina couldn't take her eyes away from Orys's muscled chest, which was carved with packs. She graoned in frustration of having to look at her well-built brother, who had declared he could never feel anything for Irina in return. _Does he have to be dashing and charming too? The Gods must have no mercy on me. Rhaenys sleeps with Aegon, Terrance and many more. But I have one brother and he only thinks me as a little girl._

These thoughts were wrong, she chided herself and went into the bird. The longer she was inside the eagle's skin, her feelings started getting diverted into thinking more about hunting a snake or a rabbit or a squirrel, over worrying about her real life. Somedays, she simply admired the sight of vast sea with sea salt wind gusting to soothe her feathered body. Somedays, she took residence on a ship or a boat that was travelling for a trade. Somedays, she felt almost nothing, and whenever she came back to her own body, the time had slipped through her fingers beyond realization.

Only when the eagle reached the shores of Lys, she paid attention, all the while trying to fight through her bird to keep the sanity of her own head, instead of indulging in bird activities. _Did my mother always fight to overcome the instinct, after she died? She must have..._

There was no sign of Aegon in Lys as Orys suggested. Unable to determine where he had gone, Irina thought of giving up that mission, and just then she heard the captain of the trade ship describe about witnessing a Wyrm near the Demon Road of Old Valyria. As ludicrous as it sounded, in the beginning, considering no one ever went near the Doom of Valyria, her little eagle head started wondering, if her brother was stupid enough to do such thing.

Irina decided to find out the truth in it and she she flew the shores day and night, for how long she forgot. By the length of the beard that grew on Orys's face, she realized it to be more than a more than a fortnight.

Meanwhile, Orys went to the shores, under the disguise of a comman man. Not that anyone would be able to recognize him with his long beard. He bought new clothes for them both and some fine cooked bread and cheese. He even acquinted himself with the fisherfolks, who liked to hire a well-built soldier to pull the oars into the ocean. Orys proceeded to do that and once he went for a longer voyage of almost a week, leaving her stranded in the forest.

But when he came back, his hands were full of pearls that he offered to Irina as a present and he had a golden dragon in hand to get nice food for them to fill their stomachs. Nothing was stopping her brother. Perhaps, if he even went for his holdfast, no one would object. He had made natural friends and loyal guards. Only because of Irina's fear he stayed with her.

_I couldn't ask for a better man. Why will he not marry me? Its not like father is there to stop them._

After roaming on the sky for several days above the shores, she again failed to find Aegon, who left no trails behind of his travel. One fine afternoon, when her eagle was hunting from above, she smelled smoke and meat. Knowing who was capable of preparing charred meat for food, Irina flew towards the shore of the demon road, until she saw black dread devouring five sheep. Her playful instinct wanted to try something silly, and she sat atop Balerion's head, which resulted in earning a thunderous roar from the beast. It was like Balerion knew her existence inside the eagle.

Aware of the reason why she showed up there, which was not to rouse Balerion but to find Aegon and his secret plans, she started searching for her brother. He was not far away from the dragon. Standing next to a tall pine tree, Aegon glared keenly at his roused beast, with creased brows, wondering why his mount was screaming all of a sudden. He saw Irina, but he saw her only as the eagle who happened to sit on his mount not as his sister. So, he went on to swing Blackfyre against the pine wood tree, with rage as equal as Balerion's roars.

With heavy breath puffing out of his mouth, he gave a full strength of his body and thrusted the steel into the trunk of the tree, making a clean cut. And the tree fell down. If any of the eagle's instinct remained in Irina, everything evaporated when she looked all around the surrounding to see hundreds of fallen pine trees. _Oh Gods... Did he cut all of them?_

"Come... Come now, sister, and mock at me again." He screamed and for a moment, Irina's feathers froze, until her brother stared at a hawk which was aiming at the scorched meat to steal and eat. _He thinks I am inside that hawk._

"Are you laughing at me, now?" Aegon howled, pointing the blade at the hawk. "To see your brother act like a madman must excite you. Isn't that all what you wanted? To see your family getting mocked by those lickspittles, when you decided to run away with Orys." He asked and swung the sword in air. "Orys of all people. Orys... My brother and my loyal man. You took him." He shouted.

She shouldn't have involved Orys in any of this. He was taking the brunt of her mistakes, but there was no point in regretting it now. "Oh... You and our father... How many days did you both plot this? He wrote a fucking will declaring everything in your name. Every fucking coin in the treasury belongs to you, and the whole castle belongs to you. Come now, sister. Take everything..." Aegon yelled and moved on to next tree hacking it like a real madman.

 _"He groomed me to be a warrior."_ Aegon screeched, giving a blow with the black steel. _"He groomed me to be a leader."_ Another hack thudded against the thick tree. "He said I would go heights and then you came..." His hands were unceremoniously striking at all angles until he roared. "Irina Targaryen..." He cried out her name in anguish and grief, striking a last blow to the thickest tree, making it fall down like it was a mere plant.

All this felt surreal before her eyes. To see him in such a rage. To see him in such a _grief..._ Yes... Something said Irina he was grieving and all this wroth was not just mere anger. She didn't know why, but to see a drop of tear rolling down his cheek, made her feel more and more arduous. There wasn't a time when she had seen Aegon show any emotion of pain on his face. He was always glorious and powerful. Commanding and inspiring anyone he met. But, when he sunk the blade into the ground and knelt in the sand, holding the hilt of it, his chest puffing in and out, with fear of being left alone, she didn't see a man of anger and wrath but a brother in grief.

 _I should be grieving too_ , she thought, wondering if she should fly away for a while. Instead of choosing to leave, she sat on Aegon's shoulder; the claws digging into his flesh, even when there was a huge chance that he would strangle her neck, just to make her suffer and give her a painful death.

He turned his head slowly, with tear-filled orbs, which were red like the setting sun in the sky. For a while, he didn't move, choosing to remain silent, gawking at the fallen trees all in silence, except for the occasional growls that emerged from his dragon. How many days was he hacking down the trees? How many birds did he start thinking it was her inside? She didn't know any of those informations, but time and distance seemed to have calmed his rage.

"Tell me you didn't run away with Orys to marry him and fight back to get what father offered. Tell me, you ran away in fear. Tell me you are still... my blood." He asked, and she flew from his shoulder to the land below, giving a loud scream in response. She hoped he would understand her cry. It was never her intention to take everything from them.

"Come back to home, sister. We have a lot to speak. Bring Orys with you."

With that, he offered his hand, and she climbed on it. His hand carefully moved to his shoulder, silently asking her to sit on his shoulder. And he flew on Balerion with her eagle.

Coming back to her own body, Irina groaned waking up unable to pull her muscles which was in no good state. Often doing the skin changing had made her body motionless and stiff. And often satisfying the hunger from the bird's body, she forgot to take care of her own, leaving it thin and weak.

With dry chapped lips and straw like hair, she almost looked like a beggar than a lady when she regained her life. When Orys returned that evening, she smiled.

"He wants to see us."

* * *

Ser Quenton came to welcome them at the gates. Well... She wouldn't call that a welcome in the first place. It was the look of a warrior who got insulted by letting a girl of ten and four years escape from his claws. But she assumed his glares wouldn't burn her at all. Looking at her matted hair and tanned skin, the master-at-arms gave out a long sigh full of deep frustration and guided her into the WindWyrm tower, while Orys being Orys, ran straight towards the Stone Drum tower to speak with his brother.

"How will your father feel if he happened to see his daughter like this?" Ser Quenton questioned with a worried tone in his voice while helping her in the process of climbing the stairs, towards her chamber. "You look like you are going to die in a day, my lady. I will send Sybelle to help you wash and get into a fine dress. After having your food, we shall go and meet your brother." He said, and Sybelle came to pour pails of hot water into the tub.

She was clean, though, as she often swam in a natural lake. But her hair was tangled, and beyond repair to be brushed. Ignoring the maid's pleas to clean Irina, she herself took the task of washing her body with a soap and brush, laboriously. Unable to tame her long hair, Irina used the knife on the nearby desk to cut it half. She never was able to maintain them. Only because her father wanted her to grow it, she did. Anyway, he was long gone, and it was time for her hair to go too.

Her old black gown started falling off her shoulder, and she had to push it back every time to adjust. _How much did I reduce in weight? None of this happened when I wished it to happen. Wishes are vileful, and they start working at the time when the need of it wanes out._

Swallowing the properly baked oven bread, poached eggs, butter dipped bacon and boiling stew, which was not a frequent meal in the forest, Irina filled her stomach as much as possible. She was full after how many days she forgot, and she almost felt like taking a long nap in her feather bed. Her stomach was happy, and her heart felt lighter.

"Orys didn't feed you, properly?" Aegon asked leaning against the door, and she jumped on her feet remembering the consequences that would wait for her actions, which would not exactly involve her sleeping on a feather bed. "Our brother seemed to be not changed at all, except for his beard."

 _"I- No..._ I am just so tired." She whispered weakly, staring at her toes, becoming the same dull child who used to get a scolding from her father for causing troubles.

Aegon walked in, asking the guards to leave and closing the door behind. "Has it been a moon, since you left?"

"Two... Two moons."

Walking towards the porch, from where chill salt breeze swam inside, Aegon leaned on the rails while extending one of his arms, towards her. She slowly took a few steps, reaching out to hold his hands and stand next him, but not without fear. He always inspired fear.

"Your birds and animals... they are all safe and has been fed on time."

"I know." She replied, adjusting the falling dress back to the shoulder.

"Do you know what will happen if anyone learns of your... skills?" Irina was supposed to feel scared of his question. But he didn't seem to be asking in a threatening voice. It was a worried one, more like out of concern.

"They will not know, Aegon. No one will be able to figure out. Its not like I am going to linger here long for them to know. I will leave in a few days."

"Do you think none suspected any foul plays when you threw men from thirty horses one after another?" His sharp question and tone made her realize the trouble she had put herself into. Chewing her lips, she gazed the ocean unable to meet his eyes, and she chided herself inwardly for doing it out of anger, rather than using her brain.

"I was scared and the fall... took a toll on my body. When I saw you and our sisters atop the dragon, I thought-"

"You simply vent out your anger. Didn't you?" He stated, and she blinked at him, swallowing the pain that was surging through her chest, of recalling that night second after second. "Just like how Visenya did, when you tried to escape from the castle. All I wanted from you was to say a few words that will show those lickspittles that we are united in front. And you ran away..."

"I was scared."

"Scared?" He screamed, gripping her shoulders, his brows twisting. Irina tightened her fingers to form a fist, making her knuckles go white, controlling her urge to scream back at him. "You were scared of what? To face a few lords and tell a few words? But you seemed to be fine jumping from a fucking cliff..."

"I was not scared of lords..." She shrieked, crying aloud. "I was scared of you... and our sisters."

He looked disappointed not able to understand her words, and she walked away from him shoving his hands that held her shoulder, unwilling to explain each word out. The feeling of left alone in the world, while her own siblings chased to kill her, could never be described. It didn't matter. She would leave in a few days. None of this mattered. All she wanted was to not make Orys a victim of her stupidity and both the brothers seemed to have already reunited...

"We are your blood. How could you even think we will harm you?"

"You say that now." Irina snorted, waking towards the hearth in her chamber. "You say that only after father's letters and missives. Never once before have you called me your blood. I was just a low-born bastard sister for you and them."

Aegon didn't respond to it, just as she had expected him to be, while facing the sea. He was never one to have many words, and as usual he was silent and sombre.

"That was not right of me or our sisters. I agree. We can work this out and you will stay here in the castle."

Irina didn't miss noticing the stress of the word 'will' in his statement, and when she opened her mouth to argue, he crossed the distance between them and gave a sudden hug, pulling her in his arms.

"We were worried, Irina. Worried that you fell off a fucking cliff and died. Do you know how many times father made me to promise him?" Aegon's voice rose with pain in it, and his head rested on top of hers, while his embrace tightened against his chest. "Father's thoughts were only on you, and I made a thousand promises to keep you safe. I was not chasing you to kill you, my foolish sister. All I wanted was to find your dead body to light pyre. The guards were sent to search for your body."

The tears were flowing down while all the buried emotions started resurfacing her heart. And her body shivered, remembering her dead father, who would not be there anymore to extract a promise from her brother, just to protect her and... somewhere in her heart she started trusting Aegon. He never again sent his guards to catch her in the forest, after she made the mounts fall down. Perhaps, once he learned Orys was with her, he might have preferred to leave her for a while. She didn't have knowledge of this. Irina didn't even know her father made Aegon to promise.

She buried her head against his chest, hugging him in response and they both stood in the same place, in the same way for a very long time, until she parted, sniffing like a child and sat on the nearby chair.

"Call for the lords, Aegon. I will gladly tell them I have no qualms over these lands and wealth. And after that... with all my skills... I can manage, I suppose."

Aegon leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling above. "You still need to learn a lot, Irina. When you become a lord, you don't keep calling your vassals and tell them everything is fine. We are dragons and we don't say them... we show them. They will learn of all this."

He waved his hand, dismissing her idea and as hard as Irina tried to understand... It was damn difficult to follow him. Perhaps, if she had never left the court, she might have learned a thing about what he said.

"And you can have the whole of this WindWyrm tower for yourself. I will appoint a maid, a servant, and two soldiers to be under your household. They will be at your service and at your disposal. I will pay for their services, of course, but you will be the one to manage them."

Irina's jaw dropped, upon learning that she would have a household of her own. _No... This can't be true, and this can't be happening. I was meant to suffer after my father's death. How come things are turning for better? And why am I worrying more over the change of events?_ There was no way her brother was saying things such as this. Could their father's death change him for good? What about her sisters?

"I have spoken with Visenya and Rhaenys. You have nothing to worry about them. And whatever you need, Irina, all you have to do is, _ask me._ Attend the court... Join the feasts... Walk the gardens... Do whatever you wish to do. Make friends, share japes or if you only like to go to the shore to play with your friends..." He paused and tilted his head while his eyes darkened getting close to black. She was unable to read his mind during that silence. Leaning forwards he lifted her chin with his forefinger and stared into her crystal eyes. "That boy... some years back... I remember finding you with a boy... Are you having an affair with him?"

Her cheeks flared, and she had to bite her lips not to whoop at Aegon, who was showering her with a fortune. "No, brother." She answered with gritted teeth.

Aegon simply stared at her for a while, his eyes travelling over to her exposed shoulder and she didn't adjust, remembering the last time of the insult she bore from him when he said how he wouldn't stare at a low born. But his fingers managed to carefully trail near her arm to lift the cloth gingerly and place it on her shoulder. "You have grown up. And you are at the right age to experiment and experience a few things with boys." He said in a weak voice, slowly withdrawing his fingers, all the while trailing it on her bare arm. Goose flesh sprinkled on her skin and he stared at her eyes, waiting to ask a thousand more questions that had queued up in his head. "Have you done some experiments? With any boys? You were with Orys alone in the forest... or that boy in the shore..."

"No..." She yelled burying her face in her hands remembering the time when she thought Orys was so handsome. "Orys says he likes me only as a sister. And after you knocked Vyl's jaw, he never came close to me. I will wait for my husband to experiment with..." She assured, unable to discuss her shame, and Aegon chuckled, his fingers closing around his lips.

"Fine. But you do understand, that I will find you a husband of my choice, right?"

"Yes... Yes... You can do that after I learn to master a curtsey, first. Then walk in a court without getting ridiculed. And gain some respect with my own maid. And..."

"They were fools to think you to be a simpleton." He responded.

_I should be dreaming. Did my brother just call me his own blood and shower me with a fortune and acknowledge that I am no simpleton? How could all these be real? Nothing came when my father and mother were alive. And why am I feeling so happy to be recognized? Why do I feel like hugging him and crying on his shoulder?_

She didn't think much when she jumped on him, wounding her hand around his neck, all the while crying like a child. Other than her father, no one ever said she was a normal human. And as though calming a maddened horse, Aegon patted her head. Thanking him for doing all the things that were unasked for, she tried to part, but his hold on her waist tightened and he twirled her to sit on his lap in a way to face him.

"No one can know what you are capable of, Irina." He warned, his eyes so serious, the same way her father's eyes used to warn her to be cautious. Aegon's fingers flexed on her waist, dragging herself closer to his chest. "Dragons are beasts, visible to human eyes. It is far different from your skills. This will not be respected by anyone. Even our sisters can't know it. Do you understand?"

She wanted to tell how Orys knew about it. But Irina knew Orys better that he would never do something that would put her life at risk. She bit her lips, contemplating in her head whether to tell Aegon about Orys knowing her secret or not, when she found her brother's eyes directly piercing at her swollen lips, with a strange darkness dancing in it.

She slowly rose from his lap, and his arms were even slower to leave her waist. Irina chided herself for being a stupid girl to fall on him. Anyone who saw it would twist the tales. Aegon himself rushed to the door, clearing his throat and Irina waved her hand seeing his exit.

Just when he stepped out, he turned back with a smile.

"Order new clothes that fits you. You will look lovely."

_Lovely?... Did he just tell me, I will look lovely? I am never going to sleep, today. Perhaps, falling off a cliff is all it takes to earn love from one of my siblings._


	7. Price To Pay

Tugging a loosened strand behind her ears that seemed to have escaped the braided hair, Irina carefully took light strides into the Great Hall. She wanted to be like a cat — steady and sure foot, yet no one should bear witness of her presence. It had been a fortnight since she arrived, yet this would be the first time to meet her sisters, which she would have gladly made a pass if Aegon wasn’t stubborn on uniting his sisters together.

The table had been already set, and the servants threw glances twice to her direction before taking leave. It was true that she hadn’t come to the Great Hall in years. Even when her father was bedridden, she chose to remain by his solar and the last time she was summoned, Irina made some awful decisions like falling off a cliff, and that could be one of the reasons why the servants and guards whispered behind her back. Or it could be because they were seeing the ghost of a girl who they presumed to be dead and attacked thirty horses on the shore. 

Irina found it amusing in a way. _They feared her._ Those guards and maids who shared japes of a simpleton had a fear of ghost and devil now. 

“Volantis will fall. They tigers have played their game too strong and too strict.” Aegon told Visenya, his voice thick and clear. “There are revolt raising from all sides. You should have seen the gathering army and fleet... And this is the right time for us to choose ours.” He was discussing the brewing war in East, and only then Irina remembered the gathering armoured men and fleets that she saw while flying high as an eagle, near Lys.

“I didn’t think you would want to choose, brother. We have dragons. It should be them who must decide on choosing.” Visenya responded glaring at Aegon.

They both held an enigmatic composure with the way they their long legs strode through the Hall, which made anyone bow down in respect and Irina had never felt so smaller. One, for the fear of facing Visenya who was trying to make a fry out of Irina the last time and another... she completely felt out of place after taking residence in a forest.

She gave a smile at Aegon, who seemed more than pleased to see her presence but she refused to even move her orbs at the direction of Visenya. _Fear_... would be an understatement with the way her heart kept beating against her ribs.

“If you think only dragons will be sufficient to win all battles, then I recommend you to sit in front of books, sometimes.” Aegon replied harshly, making Visenya’s nerves to plop out of her neck.

Should Aegon taunt their big sister on the same day, when Irina hoped to make some peace? Making way to the head of the table, when Aegon pulled the chair to sit, Irina saw her father in him. Aegon reminded so much of Lord Aerion in his demeanor. 

“Jape all you want, Aegon. But remember this... When I don’t get what you promised, then you will see my wrath as our dear sister was about to see, the other day.” Visenya warned her brother, but she knew the direction of her sister’s words came straight as an arrow pointing at Irina. That night hadn’t been lost on Irina’s memory. Her brother seemed to have made peace by exchanging offers not just to Irina but to Visenya as well. What could be Visenya’s promise?

Gathering courage, she met her sister’s eyes that had curved bows for brows and a twisted frown of disdain for lips. If her sister had the magic to become a dragon, there was no doubt Irina would be burned, not just once but a thousand times. Only when Aegon cleared his throat did Visenya feign a trace of a smile, and Irina didn’t have any idea as to how her brother managed to do it.

“Welcome home, sister. Hope the Gods give you enough wisdom for your stay to last longer.” Visenya said, while the fork plunged into the plate, making a rattling noise.

Visenya’s words were on point, reminding the sharp blade she was made to walk on with this decision of staying in the castle. Lost in her thoughts, Irina turned only when she heard Rhaenys’s voice coming from the door.

“Well... Look who has grown up to be a big girl? Has the wild been kinder on you, my sweet sister?” Rhaenys opened her arms, and Irina didn’t know what she must do. Nothing made any sense with the way Rhaenys offered a wide smile of sparkling words. “Isn’t this a reunion, Irina? Come, give your sister some love.” Rhaenys pulled Irina out of her chair, and gave a big warm tight hug, making her to cough while trying to catch a breath. 

“You’ve cut your hair.” Rhaenys stated, pulling Irina’s braid to the front. “This looks good, but we need to do some work on it. How about we meet in the noon?”

Irina directly turned towards Aegon, who was beaming in seeing things turn out smoothly but she just couldn’t buy Rhaenys would do such a gesture. Not just a few weeks ago, Rheanys was spilling venom about Irina to that Celtigar boy. Why would Rhaenys change now? Irina chose to nod with warmth, and continued breaking their fast with boiled eggs and pork sausage, while Aegon discussed the situation in the East with both of their sisters.

Most of what he spoke was so incomprehensible to Irina, but she wanted to learn and understand just like their sisters, so she listened keenly, sticking to every word he said.

“The Doom is a lost cause now. With rest of the dragon lords extinct, it remains only for us to make use of the power struggle in Essos. If we plan wisely, there is an opportunity for us and you won’t believe what the lords of Lys and Myr are offering, for us to join their cause.” Aegon said leaning forward, while his eyes were bright in the prospect of acquiring something delightful.

“So, when are we going?” Rhaenys questioned.

“Not now. With Valyria gone, and the cities bleeding, we must make our appearance at the right time to give the people a cause to choose us.” Aegon said dismissively. Each were speaking to one another about the impending decision and when the breakfast was over, Irina felt a great burden lifting off from her shoulder. Visenya might not like Irina, but she had no choice other than to follow Aegon’s orders. Rhaenys was altogether a different tale, and Irina reminded herself to be careful around Rhaenys.

With so many thoughts in head, when Irina exited the Great Hall, she looked back, hearing heavy boot sounds clang against the stone floor.

“Irina” Aegon called, with his troubling eyes. His face was so close to resemble their father and she could easily sense he had something concerning his head. Probably about the battle or the strategy. “Will you walk with me?” He asked, offering his arm.

For most of the part of their walk he didn’t utter a word, and she was silent too, her own worries dreading. She had to survive, no matter what. She could not go back to the former shell of a life she lived. With father gone, she wouldn’t want to become the person to be pushed around either.

“Are you afraid?” She asked and Aegon stopped in his tracks. Perhaps it was a wrong question to ask him. By the way his brows creased and with the way he removed his hand, it was getting more evident that she asked a wrong question.

“What makes you think that?” His rigid voice came like an exploding thunder.

She thought of apologizing and retiring to her tower. She didn’t want to earn animosity against the only man who promised to protect her, but she forced herself to be true. “ _Father has left._ And now it leaves you to be the one responsible for everyone here. Any decision you make, will impact everyone in our family and our legacy. Out of all the forty dragon lords’ family, only ours lasted longer. Now it lies all on you.”

Aegon was always decisive whenever he fought with father. He and their sire often stood on opposite ends in any discussion, but without their father, her brother was clearly seemed to be struggling with the choices that he would make. Her brother didn’t refuse or yell at Irina for mentioning such unkind words. Instead, he gave a long sigh and stared at something in distance, the realization of her words stemming into his head.

“Aegon,” She called him dearly and picked his hand to hold in hers. “It is okay to be afraid. The fear will make you take the right decision.”

“You don’t know that...” He refused to believe.

“Trust me, I know fear.” She gave a smile and wrapped her other hand over his. “And I know how it feels to be without Father. Perhaps, you may fail once or twice. But you will make the best choice for our family. I trust you.” 

She shouldn’t be telling any of this. It was not like she knew everything about Aegon and for all its worth he might think her to be overstepping her line. But to prove her worries wrong, Aegon gave an easy smile and nodded his head, his eyes growing soft like her tulip flowers.

“Thanks.” He said brushing his thumb around her knuckles staring at their joined hands. For a moment, she felt his gesture so soothing making her own fear and worries vapour away, but after a while, when he rubbed her soft skin, making a circular motion of his fingers, dragging it till the tip, a chill passed through her body and she peered at his eyes which had been set only upon hers.

He hadn’t even flicked his eyes, and she wondered if he could feel the same too. Slowly, there was an uneasy feeling invading through her and somehow sensing it, Aegon took his hand away, clearing his throat.

“I asked you to have a household and why have you rejected the maid coming to aid you?”

They both maintained distance while walking. Irina had been meaning to tell him how she had no trust in that maid who might run to Rhaenys or Visenya. Or they could even poison her. She had to keep her guards close until Aegon found a match for her. Moreover, there was even a wiser plan. “Shall I hire my own household?”

“Hiring?” He asked in shock.

“Aegon, Please...” She requested, her eyes shrinking. “My friends in the village would love to serve here in the castle. And they love me too. I want someone I know around me.” She knew it was a stretch to request such things. He already gave her almost everything that could be given.

He gave a chuckle in response. “Your wish, sister. But make sure they don’t become a trouble here. They will be your responsibility. Do what you have to do, but let it be sooner. And from now, we shall gather for breakfast once in every sennight. It will make Visenya accept all this sooner.”

Irina observed how Aegon’s attention was never anywhere towards Rhaenys. Irina wanted to trust that Rhaenys was never capable of anything vile. But Visenya was an enemy to the chest while Rhaenys would stab her at back. Even her brother was getting _cuckold_... but that was not her place to worry about. Her only worry was to make sure to live in one piece and in her heart’s peace.

* * *

Smiling like a child she held her fingers against the waves, and the salt water splashed on her face making her giggle and scream in delight.

“Fast... Fast... Faster, Vyl” Irina howled and the bawdy boy who became her own guard, paddled his fishing vessel into the ocean with the speed of a lightening, his strong arms stirring the blue waters, exciting Irina all the same. When the vessel was stopped abruptly, Irina turned to see him breathe for air, and fall down his own boat with a thunder of a laugh.

“Oh... How I miss the smell of this salt wind!!!” Vyl pondered.

Irina had no desire to hire her bawdy friend, who had no training in sword or manners in service. Ser Quenton’s moustache wriggled when she took Vyl to the castle to allow him to be trained, so she could keep him in her service. The master-at-arms outright refused to train or allow him anywhere near blades and even yelled at Irina. To prove Vyl would be worthless, Ser Quenton offered him a blunt sword to fight against one of his men, who only ended up getting battered with Vyl’s huge body taking advantage over swordsman ship. 

Even Ser Quenton was shocked, but he eventually took the bawdy boy under his wings and trained him with a blunt sword. Although it would take years for Vyl to get trained, Irina was more than happy to have a friend around, even if he was only slightly capable.

“If you love the sea, why did you ask me to give a place for you in the castle?” She asked, playing with the water.

“So, I can always get paid and marry a maid like you.” Vyl grinned and splashed the salt water on Irina’s face. She scrunched her nose and gave a reproaching glance. “Oh, come on, my lady. Shouldn’t your friend even dream of marrying a woman like you?”

Irina groaned and lied down on his wooden boat, unable to tolerate his usual flirtatious nature. But he had changed in the past two moons, ever since he joined with the rest of the men in the castle. At least she didn’t make a big mistake by bringing him, in which case Aegon himself would screw her.

“You wasted your new dress, milady. And Betha asked me to bring you before sun went down. She said your sister will be waiting.” Vyl dutifully expressed and started rowing his small boat back.

This was yet another nightmare... to be around Rhaenys, who was showering Irina with a love that had no base or reason. Even Irina couldn’t resist the charm her sister was pouring, like sweet honey being dipped in bowls of sugar syrup. But it was too sweet and too fake. Taking Irina on horse rides with other ladies, braiding Irina’s brown locks into beautiful designs and decorating it with crystals and hairnets, dressing up Irina like a doll full of colors. At times, Irina wanted to forget that Rhaenys was treacherous and hope that her sister had something of kindness sprouting out.

Realizing her impending meeting, Irina rode to the castle and went straight to Aegon’s solar that belonged to her father’s once, which now Rhaenys shared. Just when she thought of knocking, she notoriously thought of spying on her sister, who might spill some beans that would make matters more clear. 

Warging into her owl, she perched on the windowsill where she once stood to see Rhaenys with Terrance. Rhaenys was in a man’s arms again, but this time it was not Terrance, it was their charming brother, Aegon and the moment when their lips locked, Irina completely regretted of relying on these cheap methods. Moreover, a pang of pain surged through her owl’s chest to look Aegon with Rhaenys. She simply wanted to erase this memory, and just as she was about to leave, Aegon screamed.

“Stop it, Rhaenys. I know you are trying to lure me. No matter what, I am not letting you do this to Irina. I already decided.”

Rhaenys stomped and moved farther from their brother. Why were they speaking about Irina? Her sister was fuming and roamed restlessly all around the chamber. “Why? You know this is a good match. Why will you not accept it?” Rhaenys moved towards Aegon again, trying to undo his breeches, but his hands stopped. “Please, Aegon... Listen to my words.” She said seductively, and Irina was so confused. Her bird head was too small to make sense at all.

“NO” Aegon growled, his voice commanding. “There is no doubt you are having a good intention for our sister. But do not want to make any match for her. And we will not have this conversation anymore.” He stormed out of the chamber and Irina switched back to her body, before getting witnessed by Aegon in her soulless form.

Just as he came towards the hall, she stood up and her heart was in all places of what she just heard. Was Rhaenys trying to do something nice? Why was her brother refusing? 

“Irina...” Aegon called, and she turned with a faint of a smile on her lips. “When did you come?” He questioned, but he his eyes clearly expressed suspicion of her presence. She could feel he was smelling her foul play. 

“Just now. Rhaenys asked me to see her, and there was a noise from inside. So I thought of waiting for her to come out.” Irina managed a lie, but Aegon didn’t seem to believe. _He knows I spied. Fuck..._

“She is waiting for you too. Go on...” Aegon motioned and Irina ran inside, unable to see his monotonous eyes that was curiously evaluating her face.

Rhaenys was a mess when she entered, who was yelling at their brother for being an arse or something similar to that. But within five minutes all of Rhaenys’s anger dissipated ending in only charming smile, as she opened the cover of a gown which had splendid works ornate on it. “For you, my sweet sister. Wear it on the feast that will happen in a sennight.”

_What is my sweet sister’s grand plan?_

* * *

If the tower was capable of swallowing itself on its own, then Irina would peacefully sleep buried inside the sand, instead of getting ready for the feast. Betha, her close friend with whom she used to build a sand-castle, gently brushed her brown hairs, constantly observing Irina’s shivering fingers and chewing lips, through the reflection glass.

Irina knew her friend was not a person to ask uncomfortable questions, which was the reason why she hired her as a personal maid, rejecting Aegon’s suggestion to have Sybelle or Hilda under her service. Shella was closer to Irina, but Betha was the calmer one and an orphan which means Betha could stay with Irina in the tower and she needn’t worry about the girl spreading tales of her relationship with animals and birds.

That evening was not about any of this. Irina enjoyed almost every second of the past three moons. She slept with her dogs, who were more quiet and sad of losing their master — her father. The Kookaburra often stayed on her shoulder, not making much cackling laughter sounds like before, but Irina knew her mother was there. Life was going so smooth and sweet.

Whenever she wished, Irina left to the shores and enjoyed basking under the sun. The worst time in forest taught her a thing or two, which was never to rely on the comfort of castle. So, she seldom stayed in her tower, relying only on spending time on the shore and riding, and returned only when she saw the red sky of sun setting in the West.

She had peaceful days... _until now_.

“Do you want me to braid your hair, my lady?” Betha asked pulling hair strands from the sides of her ear.

“Whatever you like to do, Betha...” Irina sighed tugging the royal blue velvet layered gown that Rhaenys presented, but her maid stopped in between, dragging a chair to sit across Irina.

“Go on... We both know you are going anyway spill it all out. Let us do it now and wipe out the long face. Vyl will ridicule and kill you, if you go on like that, my lady.” Betha teased, her yellow teeth shining, and Irina drew her fingers along her cheeks, stretching her skin and groaning like a beast to show how pathetic she was until they both started chuckling like mad girls.

She enjoyed Betha’s company too much. As a young girl she always wanted to be involved with her sisters but considering how her life went... and how she couldn’t trust Rhaenys now, it almost felt Betha could replace that feelings.

_What the fuck am I thinking? Betha is my maid and servant, not my sister._

She could expect loyalty and care, but not love... from a maid. Still, Irina felt relaxed to be around Betha’s company, to whom she could share tales.

“The truth is, Betha... It has been more than eight years since I last attended a feast. Everyone will humiliate me if I go, And I begged Rhaenys and Aegon to stop dragging me into these ridiculous attempts.” Irina frowned remembering how her brother was also unrelenting same like her father, to prove in front of those lords how they stayed united in front.

“But why do you not wish to go, now?” Betha asked, holding Irina’s hand in hers with wide brown eyes. “Will it not be amazing to enjoy a feast... to dance with the handsome dragon lord and feel all the eyes of the knights gaping at your beauty when you twirl in this dress...?”

Irina snorted and laughed, holding her stomach, unable to believe this was how things were perceived from the eyes of small folks. Seeing Betha’s long face, which clearly meant she was embarrassed, Irina tugged her lips by biting it strongly to stop mocking her innocent friend, only to let out a huge wave of laughter out.

“You know...” Irina wiped the tears. “You can’t even laugh like this. If you do, they will call you uncouthly and send to bed. And all your imaginations of a perfect night, is for my sisters who are simply born beautiful, not for me. They will call me ugly and fat. No lords have ever danced with me and one time my brother did, the whole hall jested about it for weeks to come.” All the laughter vanished and Irina groaned for wallowing in self pity too much.

“But you are beautiful and not fat...” Betha replied with a scoff and went on to braid Irina’s hair.

“I am not.”

“You are, Irina. Me and Hilda always adored your fluffy cheeks when you used to share your bread with us. Now, all your fat is gone, and you are shining in this dress. Besides, you have a generous heart unlike your sisters.” Betha bit her tongue and looked down the floor for speaking ill about Irina’s siblings, but Irina was least bothered about that. At least there was someone to call her beautiful, even though her friend was just naïve and innocent.

“Betha, are you going to send milady for the feast or not?” Vyl asked, clutching his finger around the hilt of his new sword, and Betha scoffed at the boy. 

Irina asked her friend to join the feast later and stepped out from the WindWyrm tower, Vyl walking two steps behind her as though he was cautious of any dangers that might come at any time. Irina laughed, seeing his devotion. This was the boy who pulled her leg near the shore and tried to kiss her. She could still see the gap where the tooth was knocked out from Aegon. Just as she tried to enter the hall, fiddling with her gown, Vyl came to her ears and whispered.

“You look so lovely, milady. The gown looks beautiful on you. Enjoy the evening.”

Irina was stunned to hear him speak like a proper man. How the hell did he learn to speak so nicely? Did the castle change his ribald nature? Sticking to the entrance, she almost forgot to enter, until someone cleared their throat and Irina turned her head to see Orys’s smiling face by the door.

“Care to join the party, sister?” Orys grinned, extending his arm and just when Irina was about to loop through it, Terrance — Rhaenys’s lover, clapped his hands, gaining the attention of the whole Hall and came straight towards them.

“Irina Targaryen... Aren’t you a sight to behold?” The man almost screamed, and everyone’s head turned towards them. “Care to join me, my lady?” He lifted her hand to place his lips on her knuckles, making Irina to almost cringe. _He fucked my sister._ But she knew what they would say if she made any normal reactions. So, she politely curtsied. Giving a nod and a pat to Irina’s back, Orys walked away, probably feeling awkward as herself.

Terrance made quite a walk with a charming smile straight to the dais. And her first instinct was to search for Rhaenys, who had been more than kind in the past few days. But her sister seemed not to care at all with this performance of her lover. She was making some japes with her ladies-in-waiting, as Terrance pulled a chair next to Rheanys, for Irina to sit.

“Have a wonderful evening, my lady.” Terrance said with all the grace of a lord, but it was not as genuine as even Vyl.

The silence was so dreadful for an event like a feast, and she could almost feel Aegon’s eyes on her. She didn’t look up, though. She had many questions still lingering of everything. Aegon wanted her to attend, to show everyone the united front of their family. And out of all the people, Terrance made quite a performance. Was he trying to make Rhaenys jealous? Whatever it was, she should be careful around that Celtigar man. Once the meals started filling up their plate, Irina drank a cup or two goblets of wine, hoping to get through the evening without failing like before. And a cup or two became three and four, without her knowledge.

_My father is not there to save me now. Gods... Why did these nobles create feasts in the first place?_

So many lords and ladies spoke with Aegon, discussing their new fleets in preparation or about the Storm King in the West or about the Prince of Pentos. At times, they threw a glance at her, but she royally ignored them by only focusing on her food... actually more on _wine_. It was helping with the anxiety.

The moment of truth came when the hall was prepared for sharing a dance as the musicians started with a song in High Valyrian. The wine was strong, and she kept gulping to diminish the memory of the other day, years before, when all those bootlickers managed to make fun in the same hall. She wanted to send her dogs on each of them till they apologized. To see them beg would make her powerful, right?

Aegon didn’t go down to dance with either of their sisters. And Rhaenys danced with many lords except Daemon Valeryon, who was keenly discussing something with Visenya.

“May I have the honour to have a dance with you, my lady?” Terrance stood next to Irina, offering his hand, and she chuckled in a mocking way, shaking her head.

“I am not good as my sister, my lord. Please...” She waved her hand dismissively. 

“It doesn’t matter, my lady. None are expertise in a dance and a beautiful lady as you, should not be made to sit idle.” Terrance quoted pathetically and she almost spat the wine she had just consumed.

“Isn’t this a nice change of events? Not a few years ago, you accused me in my own father’s court. Now why would you want a dance with a simpleton who beat up your tall sister?” She asked with her thick tongue, a result of drinking dornish wine, leaning back on her chair drowning herself in more wine, wondering if she should indeed call for her dogs and make them eat his sausage. At least then he wouldn’t fuck Rhaenys. 

His face was turning red as a tomato for getting insulted by the same simpleton, but he was relentless. “The past is in the past, my lady. Why don’t you give this a chance?”

“Gods... You are persistent. I give you that, but there is no need for you to flatter me with lies.” She said stumbling to get steady on her foot. Just a second later, she turned to find Aegon’s eyes only on her and when she smiled, there was no answer from his end. Was he angry at her for telling Terrance mean things that should not be said in a court? It was all because of wine, she knew. But it made her so free and careless.

Taking her to a faraway corner of the hall, Terrance held her waist, and she wondered how many times Rhaenys would have made fun of having a thick log instead of a waist. Would Terrance japed and made fun of Irina when Rhaenys proposed such mockery? He definitely would have. Holding her hand, he gave an uneasy smile, and she searched for Rhaenys, who seemed completely unbothered by any of this.

What was this man’s game? She had to figure out. No... She felt an urge to hurt Rhaenys, for all the insults she bore. She wanted to hurt the Celtigar too, but her head was all over the place and she just wanted to leave before doing something regretful. Terrance pulled her into his arms, staring at her crystal blue orbs, and she was not even able to move without falling down, let alone dance. His hands rubbed her back, and she flinched of being touched by Terrance. _He repulsed her. His breath repulsed her. His mere presence repulsed her._ Even when she tried to move away, he held her tight in his hold, making her flush against his chest.

“Easy, my lady. I am just here to help you. We don’t want to see you failing again.” He said and both his arms curled on her body, holding her waist.

“How kind of you, my lord. You are such a delight, always cordial and _pleasing delicate_ women. Aren’t you? Do the dragon ladies serve your fantasy?” Her mocking remark didn’t get completely missed on the man, but he showed the courtesy of not making it obvious. “Tell me... What are you trying to prove?”

“Prove?” He raised his brow with a hint of anger in his tone. His mask was wearing out after so many insults. “Why my lady!! Have I been the first man to be kind to you at all? You seemed to find even a slightest gesture as a greatest kindness.” He derided her, and she had to clench her teeth to keep it all down. 

“Let us not venture into the mystery, my lord.” She said with a despised grin. “First you have toprove that you are a man... then we can check if you are the first one.”

He glared unapologetically when she tried to part away from him. It was so pleasant to see his burning rage, but he forcefully pulled her waist, making her thud against his chest. Her drunken body was failing to resist properly. 

“What are you doing? Leave...” She tried to wriggle, before he leaned in to her ears. 

“Don’t need to pretend how much desire you have for me. Even a simpleton like you, knows exactly how much of a man, I am. I will give what you desire if you be nice to me till the feast ends.” His hand moved to her behind, groping her arse, and she beat his chest for touching her body, thinking she desired him. 

He soon locked both her hands, and she almost screamed, fury and anger dangling in her drunken head. Unable to see his grin, she lunged and punched his chest over and over, venting out all her anger, forgetting that the music was stopped and the crowd was gathering. One last tight punch she gave to his face for both touching her and fucking her sister, and he fell right on the floor.

She didn’t realize she possessed such power to knock a grown ass man to ground. And the whole Celtigar family seemed to be always a trouble for her. The guests started whispering the same words that she had heard for all her life as they stared at an actual mad girl. She could see it in their eyes. The stupid simpleton, failing yet again.

“What?... Go on.” She screamed, flexing her fist, heavy breathing coming out. “Which one of you is going to call me a simpleton? Which one of you is going to laugh at me? Do it...” She gave a satisfied grin and felt more amusing to see their shocked, scandalized stares. She wanted set them all on fire at once. No... Her dogs should be sent out to maul them to death. No one dared to move their eyes. When Orys tried to come in between them all, she raised her hand at him. “Don’t come... Or I will-“

Someone lifted her legs, and she shrieked, fighting with her legs. “Stop it, sister!!!” Aegon seethed. “Its time to go to bed.” He whispered and pulled her over his shoulder, taking her far away from the eyes of men.

All the while when he walked to the tower, she kept mumbling how she was not in the fault and how that boy triggered everything, but her brother didn’t even give a grunt as a response. When he opened her chamber and lowered her to stand on the floor, her head started swirling.

“He was the one... I felt his hand all over me. He groped my arse and he said-“

“Irina...” Aegon called, lifting her chin. “The boy looked petrified of your behaviour. The whole lords were petrified.” He sighed, dragging his fingers along his short trimmed hair. “And you are drunk... like a fucking lush.” He chided in anger while she found her legs to be floating. As he steadied her by holding her shoulders, he pulled her chin to look into her eyes.

“What if someone figured out?” There was concern in him or _fear of the lords_ knowing her power _…_ “How much of yourself can you control when you are drunk?”

“Obviously none...” She dismissed him and walked towards the porch where fresh air was blowing in. “He deserves it, Aegon.” 

“No, he doesn’t. He came to ask for a dance and if you were not drunk, he wouldn’t be in need of holding you.” 

Was he thinking that she was crazy enough to beat up a man who was helping her? She clenched her teeth, grinding it, not able to believe even Aegon had little trust in her. 

“I said Rhaenys to not make a match for you with him but when a lord courts you, have you no decency to look the part?”

“ _Courting?_ ” She screeched. “Terrance Celtigar courting me, under Rhaenys’s suggestion?” She asked, and only then it dawned on her, why Rhaenys was treating her well, and she almost felt like gagging. Her sister wanted to forever fuck that Celtigar, and tried to match him with Irina, the simpleton who no lord would ever desire.

Her eyes stung, and she held the rails steady when Aegon placed his hand on her shoulder to turn her around. “What is wrong with you? How did you manage topush a man thrice your size to the ground? I thought you had powers only to skin change.”

She didn’t answer because she herself knew nothing of how it happened. But when she tried to move away from Aegon, he forced her to stay back. “What?” She yelled holding his tunic. “What do you want to know, brother? I have no fucking idea how it all went. Do you want me to apologize to that cunt? No… I won’t… not this time. Do what you can.”

“Don’t raise your voice on me, sister.” He warned, and she chuckled, seeing a foolish man who was oblivious to his own wives’ indiscretion. “Trust me when I say I care for you but don’t take my love for granted.”

She scoffed, rolling her eyes, hardly listening to him, and she pulled his tunic even stronger, making him come closer to her face. “I told you, a man grabbed my ass and you are keen on only asking about my power. Will you not even feel slightly disturbed? Where is your love for me, then?”

They both made a compelling fight through their stares and she soon realized why staying in the castle was one of her worst decisions. Everything was a plot and even her brother… seemed to…

Suddenly grabbing her waist and pushing her against the wall behind, Aegon held both her cheeks in his hands and forcefully made her to face him. “Don’t think… Just stop. Stop wandering everywhere with your silly mind.” He screamed, almost catching her thoughts.

“What was the question you asked? Where is my love for you? My love is right here, when I fought tooth and nail with my wives to make you stay. My love is right here, when I didn’t allow Rhaenys to find any other man for you. My love is right here…” He leaned on her body, his chest pressing against her chest, and his eyes on her eyes. “You know my love for you. You knew it always, in your heart.”

What was he doing? She felt speechless and when his hot breath fanned her cheeks, she almost lost herself. Was she overthinking? Was she hearing it all right? She shouldn’t have drunk and his breath… his scent a mix of soot and earth was making her to lean on him. Her body was working against her wishes.

“I don’t like that Celtigar. I want him gone. I don’t like him anywhere here.” She stated wounding her arms around Aegon. He just responded with a grunt before lifting her and carrying her to the bed. 

When she saw him through her half-lidded eyes and drunken head, she was only able to see her father in his face. So kind... so true and so gentle... How she wished to see Lord Aerion now? Grabbing his leather coat, she pulled him to her face as his hand slid his hand out of her body. She might regret in the morning of doing this, but she gave a kiss to his cheek with a smile.

“Thank you, Aegon.” She said and fell back to bed, hoping every memory would fade when the morning came.


	8. A Night To Remember

The scent of fresh herbs teased her nostrils and forced her eyelids to open, which was protesting to see the light of the day. And as though someone was banging her head with a hammer, the headache made it all even more difficult. She wanted to bury herself into those dreamless, worry less sleep, but the fragments of the past night haunted her vision, and she woke up jumping on the featherbed earning howls from her dogs who were grumpier than her.

Irina's parched throat and swollen eyes made no effect on her body compared to seeing her brother sit across her bed, with a serious face of a lord.

And then the rest of the worst parts of her petulant tantrums surged back as waves into her head as another disgusting fragment. It started from when she was lifted like a potato sack by Aegon from the Great Hall, till she gave a kiss to his cheeks.

_No... No... No... Gods, I did not kiss him. Please tell me I didn't give him a kiss of all things. Oh... He must think me a wanton..._

"All that feistiness weaned away with the morning sun, huh?" Aegon hiked a brow looking down at her regretful face. The sun had indeed gone up, and it was almost close to noon. Licking her dry lips, she carefully slid out of the bed, balancing her unsteady body by holding the walls and stood prim and proper before him, ready to hear all the berating.

Coming close to Irina, her brother stood quietly, and she was feeling even more scared. Words could be counter-argued, but how could silence be beaten? If it were her father in Aegon's place, he wouldn't have stopped spitting words. When she gathered her courage to look up, her brother gave a thin smile.

"Drink this." He offered a hot herbal soup. "It will help relieve your headache." She took the bowl from his hand, unable to believe he was not brawling at her. When just a drop entered her tongue, she wanted to throw up that horseshit for a drink and just when she was searching for a bucket, her brother yelled. "Oh, no sister. Don't think you can get away with this. You are going to empty that bowl before I see you getting a fever. Now, empty the bowl and give me."

"Its tastes of..." She chewed on the ugly fibres. "horse shit"

"And how many times have you eaten horse shit to know its taste?" He asked chuckling, and she scowled before trying to throw the thing away. But her brother became reluctant while he grasped her wrist. "I said you to drink, Irina." The cold voice forced her to be even more reluctant to his commands.

"Have you ever tasted this crap? I am not-"

"Drink," He ordered. She rolled her eyes, unable to believe he would be so persistent. "Stop rolling your eyes... Gods... You behave like a spoiled brat. Now, drink it and get cleaned up. I can't bear the stinking wine on you."

Once he left to her door, she contemplated of throwing it down from the tower, and just like catching her thought he turned with a dark grin.

"Just so you know, Irina, your cackling bird is in my cage. And if you really want it to be alive, then drink that soup and come to the stables."

Irina's jaw dropped, unable to believe he would lock her mother in a cage and threaten to kill the bird just so she would be drinking a stupid soup. But he wouldn't be knowing it was her mother. For him, it was just her bonded bird. Drinking it in one gulp, Irina almost resisted the urge to gag and Betha showed up shortly after her brother took leave. Her dear friend didn't say a word as she scurried to fill the bathtub, during which time Irina ran to the porch to check on her owl, eagles, parrots, jay to make sure none of them had been taken.

When Irina hurried into the bathtub, almost tearing her velvet gown in which she had slept, Betha came to remove the laces from behind, helping her.

"When did he come? And how did he get access to my bird?" Irina thought of having a word with Vyl, who didn't even notice a cage being carried inside her own tower.

"Early in the morning..." Betha said and they both busily scraped away the previous day's memory off of her skin. Irina didn't miss noticing her friend's occasional glance, and she curled up her toes, remembering every minute of the evening that she bought doom upon herself.

"I was so drunk and that man..." Irina paused and stared at her own reflection on the water. "You must think me to be a mad girl."

"No." Betha said, showing her teeth. "You are my hero. The boy ran away with the tails between his legs. How come you had such a strength?"

"Strength?" Irina mused on that word, unable to remember if it was pure luck or sheer strength that changed her from a mad girl to a strong girl. "I was just lucky." She settled for it and came out of the bath to wear the riding clothes that Betha bought.

"Your dragon sister Rhaenys was so kind even to that asshole Lord. She was the only one who looked broken seeing that man's broken nose." Betha said, brushing Irina's hair. Well, now she would be facing Rhaenys's wrath too. No one would want to see their lover get battered up. It was a humiliation, and Irina wondered what was Aegon's take on this matter. Taking a bite on the apple that was on the table, Irina kept her mind occupied when Betha said, "Your brother is very intimidating. He didn't leave this tower until midnight and when he came back, he bought a guard to catch one of your birds. Vyl didn't know if he should have fought your brother. Because..."

Irina choked on her apple and coughed violently till she gulped loads of water. Finally, she turned to her friend and said, "Never... No matter what happens between me and my siblings, you and Vyl should never interfere." Her huge eyes should have scared Betha but the girl vaguely nodded and Irina regretted of pulling an innocent orphan and a stupid boy in this mess of her life. Holding Betha's chin tightly, Irina tried to show her best commanding face. "They will not kill me, but you and Vyl are nothing to them. So, tell me, you won't get between us. Promise me."

"Fine... I understand. You have to leave, milady." Betha pushed Irina out the door, and she ran towards the stables where her brother was standing with three staff, hearing to their worries.

Impatiently Irina interrupted their small talk. "My bird, Aegon." Her brother gave no mind to her when he walked with the stable boy and asked him to show the old horse that was dying.

"During the ride in the shore while searching for Lady Irina, it broke its leg, milord. Ever since it never recovered and its old too..." The stinky mouth stable boy Tom lied to her brother, who didn't move his eyes towards her. Irina knew she never harmed a horse. All she did was to throw the men from the saddle down. How could this horse be hurt then? It was very clear she was going to be punished.

"Put it to a sooner death. Don't let it linger longer in pain." Aegon commanded before walking towards a tall, sleek mount. "Go on... Get on your mare." He bellowed out a command to her.

And once they started a ride out from the gates, Irina had a hard time wondering if she should again ask about her bird. But she had no more fear of him like before. After all, he had expressed how much he fought for her and how much he loved her, only the previous night. _And she trusted him._ He wouldn't do something to hurt her. But her patience started thinning out with his dead silence and Irina directed her horse towards him, going in a Criss Cross way until he bothered to look back at her.

"I didn't break the horse's leg. I only-"

"-threw the men down." He ended. "And tell me Irina, how did you do it?"

She sighed as he got paused and got down from his horse right at the spot on the shore where it had all happened that night. She could even see the rock behind which she was hiding with Orys. "I switched beneath its skin." Irina wanted him to trust her too, and she chose to admit everything. "And I stopped a horse from running. I would never hurt an animal I bond."

"And you didn't think it would hurt its leg?"

"I didn't feel the pain and if I don't feel the pain, then it must have not had the pain." She simply stated, talking a walk close to Aegon, who was venturing inside the forest through the path from the rock. "Aegon... My Kookaburra... She is safe, right?" Irina asked, her voice giving away the pain of her heart, but her brother simply offered his hand for her to hold on, while further venturing in.

"You will feel pain if the animal gets wounded?"

"Yes..." She bit on that answer. "Please, brother. Tell me if you have kept her safe." She yelled stopping in her tracks, and Aegon turned to her showing his cold eyes. "If you think-"

"Did it pain you, when I killed the horse?"

His curiosity to know about her magic, while arresting her bird didn't set well on Irina, and she walked past him, thudding her shoulder against his chest. The truth of the question he asked didn't get lost on her, either. When he killed the horse in which she warged, Aegon seemed to have no idea that it had given terrible pain to her. "Fine... Don't tell me. I will find by myself."

The problem was she never tried to skin change into the Kookaburra and it was not like she couldn't. Of course she would be able to easily slid past into the bird's skin, but that meant her mother would leave. Knowing she was failing her own determination to find the bird's location, Irina made a pout and came back to her brother.

"What do you want? Why have you taken my bird?" She asked in a calm voice.

"Now, you are learning..." He smiled and kept walking, asking her to just follow. On the way, he made sure to stop at creeks and crevices, observing the water source, drinking some and even broke open a hard coconut with Blackfyre and offered her to drink that sweet water. But unlike him, she wasn't so strong for such a long walk. They started from noon and the sun was already setting down, making her more tiresome.

"My legs are aching, brother. Let us go back to home." The sunset bought back the memories of those nights when she used to sleep alone in those same thick jungles, when Orys had gone into the ocean. She badly wanted to run back to the castle where walls were there to protect and bed was there to sleep.

"Come here..." He walked some more, before finding a convenient rock which could only allow one person to sit on. Even when she said it was her legs which was aching, he kept his royal ass on the rock and she couldn't stop rolling her eyes.

"Such a prick..." She mumbled before searching for a nice spot to sit on the ground.

He gave a grin but didn't get into a brawling session with her. When she was about to sit, his arms held her waist and dragged her on the mud, before he lifted her easily like a potato sack and placed her across his lap.

"Now, sister. Shall we begin?" He asked, staring at her eyes, while his hands hadn't left her waist and she was aware of how close or... how intimate... they both were.

"I... I can sit down." She meekly answered with an awkward smile. He didn't release though. Instead, he pushed her closer to his chest and buried his nose into her hair, inhaling her scent and she couldn't stop feeling the sensation of his stubble near her neck. It did something to her body, and she bent her head down in shame.

"This feels good, sister. Do you not feel the same with me?" He asked in a husky voice, and her cheeks started flaring with both shame and shyness.

"I feel..." She trailed, not knowing to describe what she actually felt. The memory of the kiss ran through her head and she wondered if he mistook it for a sultry advance. When she turned to see his eyes, offended in her heart a little, he offered a smile with no worries of the future and his eyes were so soft and pure. He seemed at peace. She didn't want to fight with him. She liked his presence too. "Nice. I feel nice to be around you." She replied with an equal beam and adjusted on his lap to lean on his chest, to stare up at the sky, trying to calm down her beating heart.

He seemed to have forgotten his mission to conduct an enquiry as he started making circles in her palm, tranquilizing the tension in her muscle, the same way he had made once when they walked in the garden, and they both relished in the silent cool air of the forest. She loved that calmness in the air and his warm, close presence that was protectively enclosing her. There was never once a time, when she felt belonging and protective like in his arms.

The moon visited first, then the stars started blinking and dancing for the tune of the insects continuously screeching in the wild. And she decided to break that silence. "When you killed the horse, I died too. And it was a horrendous pain. I thought I would have gone mad. For five days I couldn't even bring myself to speak with Orys and the pain kept torturing my head, and I was bursting through my veins." She confessed.

"I didn't know it would cause you pain." His sad voice was so hollow, and she had to make a fist going through that day over and over in her head. Perhaps she shouldn't have escaped. Nothing came out of that stunt and she only earned archenemies out of Rhaenys and Visenya. "Irina..." Her brother called, his voice seemed hurt and his hand was working on her fisted fingers to make it forcefully open. "I am here with you, sister. You don't have to worry about getting lost." He assured, and she gasped so loud remembering the lonely feelings of her past which slid down as tears on her cheeks.

He stroke her head and she leaned to his chest, like a puppy, and she thought there was no one weaker than herself. She was just a failure in everything. She couldn't learn any womanly arts. She couldn't fight and she had no pure dragon blood, because of which the dragon egg refused to hatch. Finally, she was fit for nothing.

"Why do you have to cry, Irina? Look at me..." He lifted her head and pursed his lips. "Didn't I promise you? Do you have trust in me or not?"

She nodded like a child. "I have..." She had to agree.

"Do you think dragons cry?"

"No... But they don't laugh either and I laugh." They both chuckled, and he wiped away her tears.

"Now, tell me if you have anything else to tell about your mysterious skills."

"I can warg into any animal I set my eyes on. Initially, it was not possible, and I started with birds. They were easy, but you see... getting lost in them is also very easy. Flying takes away your head and memory. And, the horses, goats and dogs are so loyal and so easy to command once taken. Cats are obnoxious. They don't share their body. I hate 'em. But I can fight with a cat too."

"What about dragons?"

She scrunched her nose up. "I never tried. Besides, all the dragons are bonded to riders."

"But will you be able to take it?"

"All bonds can be broken, Aegon. But it takes immense power, training, and dedication to make such a strong connection to those huge beasts. And once you take a beast as much as you share its body, you keep sharing its emotions too." He raised a brow, and she smiled, pinching his nose with a giggle. "Don't make funny faces..."

"This is not funny face, Irina. This is saying what you tell is a bullshit face." Irina groaned, unable to believe he didn't trust anything she explained. "Not that I don't believe you. You are saying a part of beast stays with you? How is that explainable?"

"I don't know... Like you stay more with father and pick up few of his traits. Don't you?" He nodded eagerly, listening. "It ingrates into you, without your knowledge. Like some times I get angry if someone new come near me. The dog trait... And sometimes I feel so good to be around the person I trust..."

"The dog trait..." He answered, and she chuckled with a shrug. "I can quite see your loyalty."

Truthfully, Irina didn't understand what he meant when he mentioned about her loyalty. And just as she was about to jump down from his lap, he pulled her close to his body and gave a hug. "Aegon..." She whispered meekly, feeling him all around her body, the sudden over closeness choking her normal senses, making her feel more like a shy girl. And she started feeling his heart beating through her own chest, making her feel nervous and guilty of doing something wrong with him.

"If it is so difficult, how did you go into almost thirty horses at once?" His fingers made a sweet circle on her back, caressing and comforting. She relaxed in his hands, but the guilt was gnawing her heart.

"I was left in a tower for almost seven years, Aegon. What else do you think, I was doing? Just training. Besides, I was so angry and when I saw the horses coming, I warged into them one after another, till Orys stopped me. I was just mad."

He sighed. "Let me have your bird. I could see you anytime I want and call you anytime I want."

"It doesn't work like that. I have to be present in the bird for you to speak with me." She said unable to breathe with his tight hug, and she decided to part from him telling some excuse. "Besides, that bird is not mine. My mother's and she is still in there."

To her surprise, his hand stopped caressing her back, and he parted from her abruptly. He seemed upset, excessively. All the softness was replaced by a frenzy obsession and he pinched the bridge of his nose while he roamed around the rock in panic where they were sitting just moments before. "Shall we return?" He started walking, not waiting for her to answer, and she had to run and jump to follow him, her relatively smaller legs were no match to his longer ones.

She thought asking about Rhaenys or Terrance Celtigar but looking at his dark mood; she settled to be content to just receive her mother back. How could he go from being the best human on earth to best ass on earth? Feeling somewhat disappointed that he didn't even tell her a goodbye or a glance at her direction upon entering the castle, Irina settled back into the tower.

* * *

The next day the bird was in her chamber when she woke up, but before she took care of the bird, her legs fought with one another to check if Aegon himself came. He wouldn't let a guard to enter, neither would Vyl. To her disappointment there was no trace of his presence, and she ran to Betha's chamber that was adjacent to hers.

"Do you know when Aegon came?" She enquired curiously and impatiently.

"An hour before." Her friend replied and wrapped a cloak on Irina's body. "You are in your shift, milady. What is the rush?"

"Nothing... It is just- I don't know. He was so kind to me yesterday, and then he became so distant. Somewhat it hurt me."

"Well... What happened?" Betha asked, taking back Irina to her own chamber.

"We went for a ride and into the forest."

" _Into the forest?_ Did you not get scared?"

"Why would I? I roamed there for almost two moons. Besides, Aegon was there." Irina avoided telling about how no animals would be able to harm her. "We were speaking to one another, and he was sweet and gentle, one moment. Suddenly, he became angry and restless. Then he didn't even bid me leave. Do you think he is angry at me? I don't want him to be."

"What did you tell him to get anger?" Irina recollected the conversation and remembered about telling that Kookaburra was her mother's. But it didn't make any sense. Why would he be angry for that? Betha cleared her throat. "He is your brother, Irina. Anger doesn't last with brothers. He will come around, milady."

Irina noticed her friend's sad tone and remembered that Betha had a brother too, who was lost in the sea one day and never returned. Ever since, her friend smiled less and cried more. It would hurt tremendously to lose someone who was there as a part of their life. But Aegon was never there before, like now, for Irina. Then why did it hurt her to think he would never come back?

"I am sorry, Betha." She consoled and hugged her friend. "Cheer up. Let us go to shore today and play only in sand."

And that whole day they rolled in salt water making sand castle, running, screaming and chasing with their old friends, while Vyl kept swinging his blade in air. With sand filled dirty hair Irina went to bed, her legs aching, and she asked Betha to give company. They gossiped about girls who became pregnant by laying with a knight. Betha had a lot more information about the castle. Although her friend avoided mentioning how the household had a view upon Irina, there were much more juicy informations.

Irina chuckled whenever she heard details about the secret affair between the stable boy and the stupid maid who always used to hurt her hair in the name of braiding.

"What do they tell about me?" Irina asked suddenly eventhough she didn't want to know. "Just spill it, Betha."

"They are scared of you. They think you are a crazy witch, a deformed product of wrong magic."

Irina didn't even blink for a whole minute and they both erupted a thunderous laughter unable to believe they had kept her of highest regard. She had expected worse things.

"Even your sisters are weary and once they called me to enquire about you."

Now, that had put Irina off. "What?"

"Well, they first called me to evaluate my service. But then they only asked about your activities. Like who you meet frequently and what you do in your tower."

How come she forgot to think about her sisters? They saw everything when she beat up that muscular lad. It was not a tight slap. It did more damage that even Aegon enquired. "Did they threaten you?" Her friend didn't answer, and she knew that itself was a good enough answer. "As long as Aegon is there for me..."

"We are there for you too. I didn't want you to worry over this. And they know nothing about your birds and dogs."

"You know about my birds and dogs?"

"Milady, we are close with you. How come we can miss noticing? Me and Vyl know this very well. But we won't give up one you. Our loyalty belongs to you."

 _Until a dragon opens its mouth,_ Irina thought. But she would never blame them if they spilled the truth when it came to that. For now, though, she was content on having some trustworthy by her side, but that only made her worry for their lives. She shouldn't go on like this. Everyday worrying about what plans her sisters were plotting to get rid of her. Perhaps marrying a Lord and leaving would be right. But she had lost the faith that any lord would want to take her in, anymore. No one would want a crazy witch.

_What options do I have?_

Just before closing her lids, she remembered the night when she was in her brother's warm embrace and a smile danced on her lips. _She missed him._


	9. Change In Wind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mature content. Underage. The content may portray sexual abuse, mental abuse, and physical abuse in an underage character. Please consider before reading.

The birds chirping, her dogs barking, the sea waves crashing, and the storm sizzling along the shores, and even Orys roaring in the name of laughing — Irina grew up with hearing these sounds all her life. There wasn’t a time when she wondered if silence was capable of freezing her blood, until now, as she sat amongst two of her siblings, for breakfast, where they neither touched their plate nor opened their mouth to utter a word.

This eerie silence was creeping her bones while Visenya sent steely glares towards Irina’s direction as usual, and Aegon was... lost. He never uttered a word or spared a glance at her direction after that walk in the forest. She thought it would eventually come to pass and everything would return to its old self. But... as Gods bid it, she now once again sat amongst creepy siblings in creepy silence. If Rhaenys was there with them, Irina would have been mocked with thousand slur words, compensating for the rest of their siblings’ silence. It seems her sister took Meraxes to sky, possibly to heal the wounds of Terrance Celtigar.

“Are we going to pretend that this breakfast will actually unite us together, Aegon?” Visenya broke the tight atmosphere with her straight words. “Why don’t we save you some time and go back to do our duties?”

Aegon sighed, letting out a long breath, coming out of his thoughts. “This is one of your duties, Visenya, to spend some time with our family.”

“Thanks for reminding me of my duties, little brother. Now, tell me, what the fuck is eating up your little head, instead of whining like a woman.” Visenya cursed, making the already dreadful face of Aegon to get even more horrific. He silently glared at their big sister while Visenya relished prodding his pride some more. “Do you really think I care about this bastard girl to obey each word of yours, when I don’t even care about you?”

Irina ignored the slight as she started picking on her food with her fork. How were they surviving that marriage with such animosity against one another? Aegon threw his plate to the floor before he rose up facing their sister in an absolute fury.

“How many times should I ask you to revise your words?” He muttered in a very low voice, grinding his teeth, and slammed his fist on the table before exiting the hall, fuming and still lost somewhere else.

Irina silently thought of removing herself from the Hall, instead of facing her dark sister, who seemed to chew over the insult from her brother’s actions in front of the household servants. To cross the table, Irina took a step forward and suddenly she landed on her arms, getting red scratches all over from the hard stone floor. Generally she was a clumsy girl, but she didn’t fall because of her skirt or stumbling upon some object, which made no sense. And when she lifted her face from the stone floor with a bruised cheek, Visenya stood over Irina with hands crossed.

“Where do you think you can slip by?” Visenya flared. “Do you know what mess you are creating in our family?”

“I did nothing.” Irina flinched when Visenya lifted her by harshly pulling her arm. _How did she fall? Was it all Visenya’s power?_

“Irina Targaryen!!!” Even Visenya’s tone darkened. “You think you can escape from everything and live your silly little life, like you desire. Don’t you?”

“I don’t have a silly little life. Move...” She screamed, trying to push past Visenya, who seemed to be determined to meddle with her. She wasn’t defenseless anymore, and if Visenya had her dark magic, Irina had much more in hand.

“Hide... Hide as much as you can. But don’t think your secrets will be always hidden. And when it comes out, Aegon won’t be here forever to protect you, Irina.” Visenya warned. _Is she threatening me?_ Once upon a time, Irina cowered for every word and cried for every threat, but now all she felt was wrath. _I am a dragon too._ “Begone, Irina... Run away without turning back. You will never be safe as long as you stay in Dragonstone.”

“Don’t think I am a fool, sister. How much ever it bruises your ego, the truth is that, Father wrote the whole inheritance of Dragonstone in my name. And I am not leaving my home.” She stated each word strongly, planting her crystal eyes directly on Visenya’s purple orbs and felt contented with the way her sister displayed a flushed face. She wouldn’t let them control her destiny and she was determined to fight even if was against Aegon.

Irina had no more attendance from any of her siblings for the next moon or so, and she refused to wallow over Aegon’s abrupt behaviour change, continuing her life as it went by only restricting herself to WindWyrm or roaming in the shore. She refused to even attend the breakfast ritual that Aegon had asked of everyone, and even that seemed to give no effect on him. Twice when she planned to speak with him, he denied stating he had duties to attend to and after that, her ego held her from approaching him ever again. Was it too much to ask for a company?

Although nothing changed, there was a thin sharp pin piercing her heart, troubling her sleep, as days grew. Was this the life that she wanted for herself? Every single time to fight against one of her siblings, or to sit idly in the tower until they threw venomous words against her. Or to wait for Aegon to calm the waters and how was she supposed to earn their respect if they would anyway going to look down upon her.

One such day, her chamber became even lonelier when Betha requested her leave for attending a Maiden’s day ceremony that was held in Driftmark. Unwilling to send her friend alone, she asked Vyl to take her. After all, the girl was under Irina’s care now and an orphan… just like Irina. She sighed, lying on the bed, when someone cleared their throat by the door.

“Has someone forgot to invite their big brother to celebrate their fifteenth nameday?”

Turning around with joy, hearing Orys’s voice, Irina ran to jump on him and he lifted her with his strong arms to place a kiss on her forehead. She had no memory that it was her fifteenth nameday. Days should have ran so fast, and she was immersed in her own struggling world to remember it. But if there was any occasion to see Orys, she was content of it.

“Tell me, sister. Where are we going to celebrate?” He presented her a laced silk of purple colour with pearl beaded neckline, like the ones that he often bought for her name days. She thought the silk would melt in her hand when she brushed her fingers on it.

“Ocean?...”

“Ah... Boring. Don’t you have any other interesting place to celebrate?”

“No... I only know this tower and the ocean... and the forest.” For the first time she felt how isolated her life was, and Orys simply laughed it off like any other matter.

“Why don’t you come to my holdfast? We can celebrate your special day, the whole evening with ale and music. And...”

“Yes... Gods. Why haven’t you ever invited me before?” She chided and was more than eager to meet new, normal men and women.

“Because...” Orys pinched her nose. “Our father never agreed to let me take you out.”

“I think he feared someone will learn of my powers. I go out of control when I drink.”

“I remember the last feast, sister. And you know what, I liked the feisty little dragon in you. Don’t you worry about that. All my men are dumb. Now hop on my back and we shall celebrate the evening.” He bent down, and she literally hopped on him, her cheeks becoming red and mouth widening in glee of leaving the tower.

“Do you think I have to inform Aegon?”

“Aegon?” Orys pondered as he climbed down the stairs. “I couldn’t locate him when I came to the castle. Did he ask you to inform?”

“No...” She felt like a child who used to ask their sire for permission. Aegon wouldn’t even care, and when he even forgot to remember or wish for her nameday, why should she even bother to think about him? “I want this day to be spent with you. Lately, I am feeling so lonely... and...” Irina thought of spilling out all her feelings but decided to let it go, thinking only about the current moment of joy. She kissed his cheek, leaning forward. “Once you came, everything disappeared.”

He in response roared out a laughter, and they ventured to his island holdfast that had to be reached after a short water ride in Orys’s own single decked war galley, which could hold easily seven horses in it. She had seen Aegon’s fleet in DragonStone, a hundred of three decked galley with hundred oars, but never once she had climbed and took a ride on one. Only Vyl’s small fishing vessel was her equipment to travel in sea, and as it wouldn’t hold on to tougher winds, they only went as far as Vyl’s hand could paddle.

To smell the fresh paint on the woods, to see that lavish rails that she could hold to walk on the deck, it bought her a new world unexplored. Irina almost giggled when Orys lifted her by her waist and dropped her on the deck, careful to not spoil her new silk gown in sea water. Two more men of his own household welcomed her and showed her a small chamber to rest inside while they helped to take the horses on board.

She had no wish to stay inside the little chamber, though. She wanted to feel the air, like her birds, and have the freedom to swim in the sky that was as wide as the ocean. So she stood by the deck.

“Are you fine to spoil your new dress?” Orys asked, tapping her shoulder.

“Why brother? Will you not buy me a new one if it’s spoilt?”

“Aye... Aye... Enjoy sister. But be careful. You don’t want to fall into the ocean.” He warned warmly and went ahead to assist his men to dip the oars at once.

_It was one thing to see the world through the bird and another to live like a bird. What else had she missed from world?_

After reaching his holdfast at the evening, Orys took her everywhere around to show the natural lakes of his little land, and offered fresh fruits to eat. Finally, he took her to a local market. His island holdfast was a tiny little thing compared to Dragonstone, which had two thousand gargoyles that might not even fit in his land, and even lesser men, but it was so natural and simple. Plucking a wild dark-red bowl lotus from the nearby pond, she wove it into her hair with immense glee.

“You want that flower over every other thing in the market?” Orys asked carefully brushing his fingers to wipe the little strands of hair on her forehead that was disturbing her eyesight. When she nodded with joy, he simply chuckled, his eyes only looking into her face. “Fifteen now. Aren’t you?” He lifted her chin with affection to learn her face, and his own face made a sudden change. “Oh... I just... You look different, Irina.” His eyes were constantly moving all across her features, studying and straining, and Irina playfully shoved him into the muddy pond where they had been kneeling by and when he emerged out by cursing, she ran towards her mare, to escape from him chase.

And the night was even more splendid. Her brother surrounded himself with strong men, who had a joyous tale to share about their knight ship and as it was a small holdfast, there was no formal etiquette followed like in DragonStone, when they shared their meat and mead. Not forgetting the last time when she became a drunken lush, Irina was careful to drink only a portion of the ale, but she was keen in listening to everything they spoke.

And most importantly, they spoke to _her_. Not to her sisters or to her brother. They explicitly spoke to her, giving all their attention only to her. Almost tears started building up in her eyes. Whether it was for happiness or the feeling of not ever being recognized once in her life, she didn’t know; she whimpered, hugging Orys, who took her to the middle of his small hall, and started dancing.

It was even more awful as the singer in his hall sang an even worse song in his horrible voice. But when every man and woman cheered, the joy doubled, and she swung in happiness, safe in Orys’s arm, until few other knights offered their hand for a dance, from old Ser Hugh with pox scarred face and blistered hand, to the recently knighted young Ser Morgil with scented skin and polite words. Some men even danced with the scullery maids and started walking out the hall, probably to spend the night with them. The thought only made her cheeks brighten red. And her over protective brother wound his arm around her shoulder, becoming eagle eyed watching all the men gathered in the hall.

“You don’t have to act good in front of me, Orys.” She chided, pinching his arm. “That girl has been sending a message to you through her eyes since the evening. I won’t mind-“

“Irina...” His harsh voice sent shivers down the spine. “You can’t speak in this manner. It doesn’t fit a lady of your status. Now, go to bed.”

“Fine... Nice way to spoil my mood.” When she climbed up the towers, not holding any true grudge against her brother, she actually felt even more warm in that small tower. There was love in such gentle punishments too. She slept happily that night, and she didn’t want to go back to WindWyrm, ever.

When she was wakened up with a hot breakfast laid on the table in her chamber, Irina gleamed at Orys, who made an awkward face. “Sorry, sister. The anger gets the best of me. Didn’t really want to spoil your mood. Its just... Never mind.” He said pulling her out of her bed even when she was dead tired to take some more rest. “Now, go freshen up and come. We can have break our fast together. I asked Serala to prepare hot pork stew for your taste.”

“Unless you finish what you were about to tell, I won’t leave this chamber. Tell me... why you got so offended? I was just trying to-“

“You are a grown up woman now, sister. Not every man in the hall was seeing you a little girl. I was scared that someone might take advantage on you. While I am trying to sincerely protect you, all I expect is some understanding.”

“You are trying to say they liked me?”

“Liked you?” He scoffed, placing the spoons into the cups. “You are japing, right? All those morons were wooing you. How much drunk were you? Had you not been my own sister, they might have seduced you and put a babe-“

“Stop...” She raised her hand, unwilling to hear the rest of his bawdy comment, without getting flushed red. “I will join you in half an hour.”

“Half an hour? The stew will cool down.”

She mindlessly jumped each stair to go down, as Orys kept screaming to come sooner. Without Betha to help her, Irina took more than an hour to get ready, cleaning herself, wearing a new gown and decorating her hair with flowers, all the while hearing to Orys’s ranting. And he had to redo the whole breakfast thing, but she loved every moment of that mishap, over all the weekly once breakfast ritual that used to make her dreadful in Dragonstone. Sometimes, she played with the twin daughters of the household maid, when Orys went to train with his men.

Two days after she came to his holdfast, and pleaded him to let her stay for some more, she ran to the same pond to pluck those wild red lotus. Orys didn’t even have a garden near his tower, only a few berries grew around. But these flowers were so exotic, and she never forgot to wear them in her braided hair, which suited with the pearl stitched purple gown that she wore for her nameday.

When she returned, she couldn’t help herself but blush at the young knight’s compliment of her beauty. She knew they were simply trying to curry favours from Orys or, as her brother mentioned, trying to put a babe... Oh... Those thoughts were brought her even more red of shame. But he was a charming young man, a knight who knew to read and write. What could go wrong in flirting with him? It was not like anyone courted her before.

To put ashes in all those thoughts, the thundering roar of Balerion tore the sky, and its wings almost swallowed the whole island. Aegon should be leaving somewhere, she thought, but Black Dread kept circling in the sky over and over and her palms started sweating when she ran fast into the tower, thudding against Orys who came out to look above at the sky.

The small island had no landing pit for the dragon, and she could hear a few of the trees breaking, and much vegetation getting destroyed as its paws found a sure foot on the shore. The little peasants who grew berries and fruit trees would have lost everything that they made for years within just a second. She prayed to the Gods that Aegon didn’t come for her. She didn’t want to be the reason for the destruction of the livelihood of these pleasant people. He wouldn’t have. Why would he? For almost two moons he left her alone, not caring if she existed or not.

Within an hour, there were noises down the hall and when she heard Aegon’s voice calling her name, she instantly latched the door from inside to not let him in. And even when he knocked thrice, she didn’t budge.

“Irina...” It was Orys’s voice. “Aegon has something to speak with you.”

Was he going to execute her because she left the tower without informing him? The fear ate up her heart, and she almost cried. She wanted to close her eyes and imagine this was all a bad dream. What if they three had concocted some plan to get rid of her stating some reasons?

“Just open the fucking door, sister. Or I will have to break it.” Aegon screamed, thrashing the wooden door.

“Aegon, She must be scared. _Seven Hells!!!_ What did she do for you to yell at her like this?” Orys shouted and she keenly listened to learn her own mistake. She didn’t remember doing anything.

“Are you fucking her, Orys? Is that it? Don’t get involved in my family matters that doesn’t concern you.” Aegon retorted, and she instantly pulled open the door, knowing how much it would have hurt Orys.

“It was me who decided to come here and spend time with him. Whatever it is, I will... answer.” She said gathering all the courage, staring up at Orys’s broken face that clearly expressed how much he was hurt. All Aegon did was to pull her wrist down the stairs taking her like he owned her and the little happy memory turned disastrous when all passing men and women gave her the look of disappointment.

They hated her... For letting another man speak ill about their Lord in their lord’s own home after drinking and feasting with them. When she was dragged to the shore, she threw Aegon’s hand away. “What is wrong with you? Do you have to come to their homes, destroy it and insult their lord?”

“Their lord?” He seethed, his eyes darkening. “I am their lord. Have you ever learnt your lessons with the Maester? Oh... I forgot. You roamed with all the scums growing up and now you have escaped from all your duties to our house, to spread your legs to one among them. Isn’t it?”

 _She didn’t know how it happened._ All she saw when her mind cleared was five finger marks on his cheek. She had slapped Aegon, with fury passing through her fingers that even her skin burned. The realization of the impact dawned on her only when the moment passed by them and silence stilled in the air. All the courage, all that mad bravery started withering out from her heart, when Aegon stood puzzled, still wondering if it had really happened.

His eyes were wide in shock, and his mouth was ajar in the disbelief. Everything happened with the spur of the moment. When he ground his jaw, the shock disappearing, she anticipated for him to slap back as a punishment. Instead he growled, kicking the sand, his fisted hand paling white, before he bit his lips hard enough to stop screaming.

_Oh, Gods... What did I do? How could I slap him? He is the hand that feeds me._

Tears brimming in her eyes, with shaking fingers, she took a few steps closer to Aegon like approaching a mad horse, trying to touch his hand, now and then withdrawing in fear of getting beaten up. “Sorry… Sorry… Sorry. Aegon I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to. You have to forgive me. Please.” The tears rolled down, and she swore his wrath only doubled as his hand went to the hilt of the sword in his hip.

Balerion gave a roar, imitating his rider’s emotion, and she closed her eyes shut, hoping he would execute her in a clean cut. When faint whispers of fisher folks reached her ears, she turned to see all men gather near Balerion, probably getting attracted for such a thunderous roar. Aegon’s fingers flexed on the hilt, his eyes still dancing in madness, before he turned around to reach his dragon.

He didn’t climb though, simply stood by the black beast when wind hurled around him and somehow sensing he was expecting her to come close, she took slower steps all the while turning back towards the direction of the holdfast, wondering if Orys would somehow come and calm down Aegon. When she stood close, near Balerion’s neck, he climbed first to control the beast, and she followed him to sit behind.

A whip like slap came to her waist, when his arm wound around her body harshly, dragging her to the front of the saddle. She sobbed, her breath coming high and low, as he immersed his mind in spinning the saddle chain around their body in a very tight fashion. The saddle was designed for one rider and she was literally sitting on his lap, feeling the heat both from the dragon and from its rider slowly burn her.

The position was awkward and uncomfortable when she started feeling his heart thrum faster than normal in fury against her back as the dragon took to sky. This was her end, she knew. Aegon would not let this go unpunished, and none of their sisters would let it go. _I should have controlled my anger. Why do I keep ending up in this position?_

The dragon landed on the Eastern shore of Dragonstone, instead of leading them to the castle. And once the chain was undone, he slid down first, before letting Irina to come down. This further agitated Balerion, who shook his body and threw her into the shore, as he gave a loud roar to fly into the sky. For a moment she wondered if she should have tried warging into the beast and took off, but then that might not end there. Visenya and Rhaenys would chase her to the world’s end to burn her into ashes.

Wiping away the sand from her beautiful purple silk that clung elegantly to her womanly body, Irina started dreading about her death day, observing Aegon, who was walking on the moonlit shore. After about an hour, he sat by the wet sand where the waves crashed with bubbles. And his deadly glares were set upon the salt water that kept spitting in and out of him.

Something encouraged her to reason with him. If he hadn’t raised his sword yet, there might be a small chance for her to plead and escape. No… he would punish. There was no way a man like Aegon would let this insult slide off. But she couldn’t wait for the predicament to come and let this fascinating life of hers to leave, so she could become a bird like her mother.

Sobbing with quivering lips, she fell on her knees before him, and muttered a hundred of apologies. “You have to trust me, Aegon. _Please!!!_ It was not my intention to insult you. I didn’t even know I did until after it happened. Please, Speak with me. Tell me, you forgive.”

He replied with silence, his head bent down with furrowed brows and the finger prints shone on his cheek even more brightly for the moonlight.

“You are scaring me. Truly, truly, scaring me. I never wanted to insult you. I have a lot of respect for you, in my heart. And… Please, tell something. A grunt or a nod. Give me something to hold on, Aegon. Please!!!”

When her arms sneaked to rest on his knee that was folded, he stared up and she regretted for even approaching. His nose flared red, matching with the red streaks on his cheek, his chest puffing in and out while a low rumble of sound surfaced from his grinding teeth. Perhaps she should have let him come to a conclusion on his own. And when he growled before grabbing her hand, she cried so loud and wiggled her way to run away. It was of no use.

She started to thrash him with both legs and hands, finding her last resort to escape, and he easily put an end to that little stunt. Dragging one of her legs down, making her to fall face first, he grabbed both her hands behind to hold it together with merely his one hand. And the deed was done. Sea water soaked her whole body, and she had a hard time breathing till it was pulled back into the sea.

“You are a monster. Leave me!!! I apologized, you fool. Who asked you to come and look for me? How will I be fine when you destroy those innocent people’s livelihood and call me a whore? I deserve respect!!!” She spat out her true feelings and squiggled to find a way out. As hard as she tried, he pressed both her hands even harsher, and it only strained her arms. There was no way out. He was the strongest, and she did not even have any more power.

She could slip into her bird, but that would only let him easily to throw her body into the ocean. As tears dried from her loud sobs, she stopped struggling to save her from some pain, and cursed her parents for giving birth into that disoriented family. Even a scullery maid’s daughters were happier.

“Go on… End it soon. I will not struggle.” She said giving up, and he instantly removed his hold, only to roll her over. His fist grabbed her silk gown by her belly and pulled her into his strong arms. They both were kneeling, and the water kissed their legs on the shore, while his head towered over her.

“Why did you leave the tower?” His steely and thundering voice made her to swallow the words.

“It was my fifteenth nameday.” She couldn’t even hear her sound. “I was feeling lonely there.” He tilted his head, suspecting her to be lying. “I swear… You can ask Orys.”

“Orys? Every time you escape I always have to ask Orys?” He screamed, his fist tightening around her belly, and she pleaded with her eyes to stop hurting her. “Did you have any idea how madly I was searching for you? What do you think of me, Irina?”

“Aegon… How do I know you were-”

“STOP!” He yelled tugging her gown in fury and the pearls started spilling around their knees. “I hate when you open your mouth. _Your voice… and your face… and now your body_. Everything reminds me of my father’s sin.”

“I am not a sin.”

“I said you to shut your mouth.” He roared, digging his fingers into her waist, before looking down at her face in confusion. “You dare to raise your hand on me and chant apologies in air. Not even Visenya had the guts to do it. I ought to kill you right here, giving an end to all my worries.”

She latched on to his leather coat, clinging in fear of hearing him say the words. “Aegon! Please spare me this time. I will even leave the castle and abdicate myself. Never again-” His fingers clutched her pale little throat, and she wailed when he tightened some more. But he didn’t tighten enough to kill her.

When his thumb started creeping up to brush her cheek, she stared at his blackened eyes, that had replaced anger by something else… an intense wildness. In a feather light touch his thumb stroke a painting on her cheek and gooseflesh started spilling along her skin, with each growing second between them.

“Slapping your liege lord is a crime. And a crime should never go unpunished.” He made a statement in a thicker tone, but it was also a low whisper. Tugging her dry lower lip into her teeth, Irina waited for him to say something more, so she could understand the meaning behind it. Words didn’t come, but his fingers splayed on her neck and it slowly came down to the beginning of her heaving breasts.

She sensed the oddness in his approach, but she also didn’t want to stop his advance. When his calloused fingers lightly brushed on the little cleavage, just above her pulled down gown, her body shuddered. It was an odd sensation, and she felt a twirl happening in her lower stomach, when Aegon leaned down a little with his hot breath heating her face to flush red. His hand didn’t do what she thought it would, instead his fingers traced above till it felt her collarbone by her left shoulder, meanwhile his left arm lifted her behind and placed her on his lap, locking her in his trap.

Her crystal eyes met his dark ones and she could see a hidden, fearless thirst in his stare. He was a different man. Inhaling the bowl red lotus, he leaned forward and an animalistic growl came out of his lips that made warm blood rush out of her panic struck chest. She was scared, truly. To experience all the mixed feelings at once made her hold his arm tighter.

“Relax…” He whispered to her ear. “You should know who you belong to. Right?” She nodded vaguely. “Tell me if you want me to stop.”

She thought of telling him to stop as all the senses were getting so confused. Two days back she was seeing a new world, two hours before she was begging for life. And now… This felt as exciting as it was scary. And the excitement chilled her bones, when Aegon kissed her neck, slowly trailing his lips down till her collarbone, sucking her skin, and nibbling it occasionally.

He tasted her and she couldn’t stop arching her body, feeling his hot tongue lick her cold skin. Small sounds escaped her lips, and she locked her lids tight when he trailed his lips to her shoulder, after ripping her purple sleeve. None of that modesty mattered anymore in his arms. When the cold wind kissed the left over marks from his lashed tongue, a small shiver ran down her body, raising her chest dropping till her lower stomach, and something wet started accumulating on her small cloth.

“Irina…” He whispered against her shoulder, scraping his teeth. “Hold on to me.”

She sensed what he was about to do and waited for it in anticipation, with her heart thrumming against her ribs, in both fear and excitement. All the more making her whole body a chaotic mess. A tingling sensation formed first when his teeth bit. As it sunk in a little deeper, she bit her lips hard not to scream, her white knuckles turning paler. She couldn’t easily brush off the pain and tears rolled down her shut lids, along with the warm red liquid that started sliding down her shoulder.

When she gave out a broken cry, Aegon consoled her by patting her head, while his lips traced the blood spots to wipe them clean, and he gave a thousand kiss near the mark he made, before pulling her into his arms.

She cried aloud, sobbing on his chest, not knowing what he had done. Not understanding why such a small pain was wounding her soul. And before she thought of running away, he wrapped her whole body like a doll into his own, so protectively, with so much love that she thought she might suffocate.

“Sorry” He whispered, his hand caressing her back but there was pride in his voice. It was the power in controlling her. She could sense, and somehow that made her assured that he would be there with her. He didn’t take her back to the castle, though. Instead, he took her to a closer cave and let her hug him to sleep. Two days later, he bought a new dress for her to wear, and checked on her fresh wound that was swollen. “Shall we get back to home?”

“Am I still in trouble?”

“As long as you don’t betray me and stay the tower. Then no... You are not in any trouble.” He said with a smile. But she couldn’t smile back. Something felt empty, like the freedom seemed to have been ripped away. “Irina!” He called, lifting her chin. “I like you. If it was anyone else in your place, I would have killed them, instead of hiding near shores to make the marks you gave me to fade. Whatever I do is for your own good. Do you trust me?”

She nodded with a smile. She had to trust him. There was no one else, other than Aegon, for her. And she wanted him to like her too. Hugging him tight to feel the same warmth she felt for the past two days, Irina climbed on a boat to reach the castle, hoping that he wouldn’t change.


	10. Her Home

Her legs felt heavy for each step she took towards the sorcery castle — her home, in which she grew up. Her arm ached lightly from the wound. But she would have bore pain like this a thousand times, if her heart remained peaceful. Her brother matched with her smaller strides, now and then turning his head to check on her.

Whether he worried of her running away or it was for care, Irina couldn't determine, and when the purview of WindWyrm tower came to her sight, as they kept walking on the shore, she flinched.

"Irina" He held her hand, causing some more pain to her shoulder. "What is it?" He asked, and she simply shook her head, a frown pasting on her face. "Come on, now. We spoke all about it. Didn't we?"

Irina wished she clearly understood the meaning of everything he said and did, while keeping her in a dark cave. The two nights when he pulled her into his chest mumbling whispers of apologies while caressing the small of her back was contrasting when he took so much pain to walk to a market and buy a new rugged tunic just so he could tear her pretty silk purple gown and burn it. It was Orys's gift to her; she thought sadly.

_It was Orys's gift._

Wait... Did he just burn her dress because it was gifted by Orys? No. Aegon was not a man to give attention to what she wore, let alone think about who bought it. Thinking of how much she actually knew about Aegon, the knowledge seemed to be very little except knowing that he cared for her.

"I am scared." She admitted dragging his hand from her hurting arm and wove into hers. She had grown up now, meeting his chest, which was still smaller compared to her sisters' height who were to his shoulders. "I have never been scared like this before."

"Why do you have to be scared when I am there to protect you?" His lips widened while his one brow raised in a curve. He had such a warm smile, sometimes, and she thought it could melt any cold heart. Instantly she wound her arms around his broad chest, burying herself in the same warmth that he gave the past two days. She even learned the way he smelled, a mix of soot from riding dragon and freshly rained earthly fragrance ever welcoming her. It was still more comforting when he started twinning his fingers into her hair, polishing it out. Her brown locks were thick and unruly, unlike her siblings' soft silver-gold, but he always feathered it.

A low groan escaped his lips when he held her waist to drive her away from his body, just lightly, and she fought with him to hide into his huge physique. "You really need to grow up soon, Irina." He said in a whisper, but she denied it by shaking her head.

"I am a grownup now. I wish you treated me like one, instead of commanding me like I am a child."

"Is it?" His thumbs on either side of her waist curled making a small pinch, and she instantly pulled back from him, her cheeks getting flared unable to bear his teasing. "Well, now I agree. You have indeed grown up, sister." He said lowering his lips to her ear. "Remember that your brother has grown up long back."

" _What?!"_ Her mouth opened wide in shock and he simply raised both his brows, his purple eyes getting dark black within a second.

When she looked down to see his breeches, there was a huge bulge, and she instantly looked away, her whole face growing red with every second. He gave a chuckle like it was nothing, as he wove his fingers in hers and kept moving towards the castle. She had a hard time following his actions sometimes. Although she should feel ashamed of witnessing such an embarrassing experience, Irina didn't find it completely overwhelmed.

Was she going to fool herself that, the way he bit into her skin and the way he licked her blood, didn't give her excitement at all? Was she going to act that she didn't notice the odd way he exited the cave at night, after he assumed she was sleeping? Or those eyes that often scanned her body, meant only a brother like affection?

Irina shook her head, forcing herself to come out of his trance instead of putting too much context into such a situation. Why would he even look at her direction when he had two most beautiful women for wives? He had said it once before and she was determined to _steel her heart_ , before getting wounded there like on her shoulder.

Once they entered the castle, Aegon distanced himself and she felt her old life running and jumping on her back. He bestowed his lord's face, a cold, distant and sombre one over the charming, smiling and teasing one that he had moments before. Unable to determine if he would return to his old self, when he refused to even meet her, she simply walked towards the tower, her eyes tearing up. She wanted to be loved too, like how he took care of Visenya and Rhaenys, instead of isolated from the world... _isolated from him_.

Her eyes were wet, and she almost missed seeing extra guards on the tower when she entered her bedchamber. Something was tiring her and without thinking further she fell into her feather-bed, till Gods knew how long. She only woke up to Betha's bulged eyes that was scarier than her own sisters'.

"Are you fine, my lady? I am so sorry. We shouldn't have left you." The girl cried sobbing and when she hugged, Irina flinched, feeling her arm straining. "What happened? Did you hurt yourself?" Betha asked in concern, but Irina was so ashamed to tell the truth. So, she simply refused to answer.

"I am just feeling tired. Will you fill my bath-tub with hot water? It has been three days since I last took a bath." She even refused her friend's help inside, but there was something disturbing in the girl's eyes. Wearing a simple dress, Irina pulled her friend to the bed for enquiring. "Tell me what happened. Your eyes are so weary."

"Oh, it is nothing. We came earlier to surprise you for your nameday, but you were already gone by the time we arrived. And... Your brother-" The girl paused, her eyes staring on the floor. Aegon was mad enough to bite on her like an animal, Irina didn't doubt he had scared her friend too.

"Sorry, Betha. I was only spending my evening with Orys and Aegon..." She trailed not knowing how to make any reasonable answers for his outrage. Come to think of that, she realized there was no reasons to become so violent. But her whole family had such violent delights, and she was tired of finding reasons behind it. Even Irina herself had that strike and to save her from anymore conversation, Bale, Hager and Merry jumped on her bed to lick and smooch her face. "Tell me everything about Driftmark. Did you enter the Valeryon's castle?" Irina asked eagerly, lying on the bed hearing to her friend's tale of an adventurous trip to that little celebration.

That night became so lonely for Irina, and the pain in her arm only peaked. She wished Aegon was there to hold her, just like how he did in that cave. She could forever disappear inside him. The morning when she woke, her whole body started aching.

"You have fever, my lady." Betha said giving her a soup. "Should I call for the Maester?" When she refused, Betha let out a gasp, closing her mouth. "You are bleeding!"

Her pale gown was wet with blood near her shoulder and she walked towards the tall reflection glass on the far end of her vanity. The bite mark had swollen and her skin had turned black, with few blood drops dripping down.

"Milady..." Betha's eyes went so wide and Irina blinked the tears away.

"There is no necessity to panic, Betha. This will go away. I can't let the Maester check this." Irina convinced herself and pulled back her sleeve. Unwilling to answer Betha's unasked questions, Irina turned her face, pushing her friend away.

Becoming delirious in her sleep, her head spinning in a spiral. Livid dreams of her father, who was telling her a tale of the great she-dragon Aegerax, who was supposed to be in pale-blue colour with silver markings, appeared before her eyes. The dragon that her father rode and the dragon that failed him. No one had sighted Aegerax in the sky so far and Irina wondered why she never warged into her bird to visit the she-dragon all these days.

In her dream, Little Irina was holding one of Aegerax eggs with her, the crystal-blue one that her father had given her, eagerly listening to his words. It was such an old sweet memory until she saw her dragon egg break and only dry sand pouring out.

Irina blinked, hearing Betha's voice that soon faded into faint whispers, but she lived in another world for sometime only to fall back into slumber. A long slumber, she thought, and she saw a woman with long brown locks walking naked on snow bed, before a heart tree, surrounded by little children. The woman was chanting prayers, and Irina instantly remembered that voice. She had heard that voice sing lullaby to her as a child.

"Mother..." She reached out, but her mother never turned, immersed in prayers. Irina wailed, her tears rolling down, which froze for the cold, her hope of seeing her mother's face getting crushed. Truth to be told, she had forgotten her mother's face. Those crystal eyes, and sweet voice which soothed her to sleep was a foggy memory, but the dream was only vain, as something started dragging her out from that mesmerizing cold lands.

Out of nowhere, she heard Lady Agnes's voice loud and clear before she opened her eyes. _"You are a dragon... who has ice in your veins. Remember, Irina!"_

When she squirmed in her bed, she found Aegon's fingers clutched to hers, while he sat close to her bed on a cushioned chair, fallen asleep in a leaned back position. A smile found its way on her lips to find him so close and so peaceful. He appeared calm, his jawline forming a perfect square, with stubble grown to aid his handsomeness. He was beyond attractive, looking very much like a God.

Oddly, her whole body seemed to be drenching in her own sweat. And Irina felt shameful of lying close to Aegon when such a disconcerting thing was happening in her body. _When did he come?_ It was the pain in her shoulder that made everything worse when she tried to move. Only then the truth started dawning upon her when her wounded shoulder seemed to have been treated with poultices and salves.

Aegon suddenly jumped, his brows creased in worry, eyes red showing his sleeplessness, but the first thing he did was to let out a long sigh, and jumped onto the bed taking her in his arms for a tight hug that she thought she would get crushed. "I have never seen a greater fool than you. There is a grain of truth when Rhaenys keeps calling you a simpleton, my stupid sister." He cursed but there was warmth in his curses too and he touched her forehead, cheeks, neck and her hands. "Finally!" He growled in anger. "Drink all of this, immediately." He moved several cups of ugly concoction and she scrunched her nose, unable to see the Maester's works. Her head was not in the right place, the memory of her mother's voice or her father's story still not leaving.

"I should change my dress. Was I sleeping for a long time?"

Aegon said nothing as he bought the rim of the cups to her lips and she gulped down when he twisted his brows as though he would throw her from the tower if she refused to take it down.

"The whole day you were whispering in air like a fool. The Maester said, your blood was poisoned."

She chuckled in her cups and he looked at her, amused. "It means you have poisoned me. Right?"

"I was not aware of it, Irina. I was..." The guilt was written all over his face and she was worried of making him sad.

"Look at me! I am perfectly fine. Father always said Targaryens can never catch common flu. Perhaps, it is because I have only half-dragon blood. I will resist you the first time, but your poison might have become a part of me, now. When you try again, you will see me how strong I have become."

"You will let me try again?" The sincerity in his question shocked her. She did feel close with him when he tried the last time, but it was also so scary... and the pain only reached mountains. But she didn't want him to regret of his decision. He seemed to be already brooding over it, so much than required. She liked the happy Aegon more.

"Anything for you, Aegon."

That smile came back, which was soft like tulips and he instantly picked her staunchly body to his lap and gave a long kiss on her forehead. His lips slid down to her eyes and to her burning cheeks planting it longer than she would have imagined, to be kept. "Tell me what you want. Anything, Irina. I will buy anything for you." She bit her lips, wondering if asking what she wanted would cross the line. "Whatever you name will be yours. Just tell me." He promised with his soft smile.

"Will you hug me to sleep today?" He looked puzzled. "Don't mistake me. I get scary dreams and I could use your help." Half of her heart was lying. She really wanted to bury her head in his warm chest. He was not going to come to her chamber anymore. And one day she would be packed to leave to another house to serve aa a dutiful wife. Would it hurt to have some love?

"Is that it?" He was surprised. "You don't want any rubies, gold, pearls, ornaments and gowns?"

"No... But only if you are-"

He instantly pulled her down to the bed, his arms carefully placed on her waist, while pulling her head onto his chest. If any of her sisters learned about this, she would be cut into pieces, but at that moment, her tiring body was more than glad to use his gentle embrace, and the way his fingers played with her hair, made her feel home.

"Aegon..." She called, and he smiled down at her with pure love. Perhaps she shouldn't have asked him to stay. The sleeping in bed made it all more intimate, and she had to bite her lips to not let her cheek burn. "Thank you... for staying."

She could see his jaw tightening and he breathed a long, violent gasp before pulling her close. "Just close your eyes and sleep faster, Irina. Will you not let your brother find some relief?" He asked, and she chuckled remembering his struggle, resting on his heart to hear it beat.

"Do you know where Aegerax will be roaming?"

"Aegerax?!" His fingers stopped caressing, and he pulled back a little. "Why do you want to know?"

"I think I should see her. In my dreams, father was speaking about it."

"No..." He yelled, his face completely changing. "No, You can't do that, sister." He almost snapped getting up. "Do you know how lethal that dragon is?"

"Its not like I can ride her. My dragon egg belongs to her and what I thought was, perhaps, the egg needs to be with its mother for it to hatch. I don't know..." She sighed and Aegon suddenly withdrew his hand, his voice turning more rigid.

"None of it will happen, Irina. Your egg will hatch when its time comes. Its my responsibility to protect this house. You will not-"

"Gods... Fine. Stop yelling for everything. I will not go. You are just like Father, always threatening me. Always, controlling..."

"Well, thank you, sister. And guess who you remind me?" Irina peered up on him, but instead of answering he tugged her down to his chest and she soon forgot to ask many questions when those Maester's pastes started working on her sleep.

* * *

The next morning when she woke, she found only an empty bed and her heart sunk a moment, unable to accept that emptiness. Did all those conversations happen only in my dream? Why did she start asking for him like a child? Her fever had settled down, and the wound started healing. Betha didn't ask anything which only aided in added guilt to Irina's little heart.

Irina tried to brush it off, wishing that weirdness between them would pass and her little secret with Aegon would forever be a tiny little passing cloud.

Two days later, when she thought of leaving to the shore, she came upon three armoured guards in the tower, whose names she never learned before. Vyl was nowhere to be seen, and neither was Bartimus — the man who used to occasionally change shifts with Vyl.

"My lady..." One of the armoured guards removed his helm. "Are you planning to leave for the shore?" His tone was harsh, and his eyes were even harsher.

"Yes. May I know where Vyl is?"

"Lord Aegon has asked me to help you assist anywhere you wish to go. Shall we?" He cut off her question, and she already felt insulted of his behaviour.

"I don't need you to follow me everywhere. Its not like-"

"I must insist. The orders were clear for all the three of us, my lady. We will accompany you anywhere you decide to leave outside this castle."

Irina was stunned hearing to such an arrogant man. But then why did it not become a huge surprise for her? Didn't she anticipate such reciprocation from Aegon? Instead of leaving the tower with that insolent knight, she decided to stay in the tower until Vyl returned, meanwhile spending all her time in feeding her birds, and flying in the sky to check on Orys.

Things seemed to be tense in his holdfast too, as so many of his small folks poured in to enquire about compensation that could be given for their lost trees and vegetation. When Betha came that evening to braid Irina's hair, Irina finally decided to break her silence with her friend. After all, who else did she have to confide in.

"Do you know when Vyl will come back? I can't wait to run to the shore."

"Even I haven't been seeing him lately. The last I heard of him was when Lord Aegon called to speak with him."

Irina wondered why that could be. Aegon was the one who asked her to choose her own household, and she knew he wouldn't do anything to Vyl. Unable to hide her own misery, she made a sad face towards Betha and pleaded through eyes. "Are you angry at me, Betha?"

"Angry? No, of course not, my lady." Betha told her eyes straining with a tear. "I thought it would be best to wait for you to speak. I was merely waiting. What is happening? There are three new armed and armoured guards who wouldn't even tell me their names. And Vyl has been missing since the day you arrived. You came back with fever, and a bite wound. I am just... scared," Her maid's eyes teared up.

"Oh, I am so sorry. Please don't cry. Please, Betha. Its all because of my reckless decisions. Had I informed Aegon before leaving from the castle, he wouldn't have got mad searching for me. It was all on me, and I will ask Aegon, about Vyl. My brother is not a person to harm someone without any reason."

Betha took Irina's hand and wound in hers with both fear and worry written on her face. "Its not Vyl I worry about, Irina. Its about you." Irina blinked, tilting her head. "When we came to the castle back from Driftmark, your brother summoned us to his solar. Your sisters were also present. Lady Rhaenys kept mentioning how you should be left to die anywhere you have gone while Lady Visenya threatened us to chop our heads off, if we assisted you in some treachery. We were locked in a chamber till you returned and we were ready to die long back... My fear is not that-"

"What do you mean by locked? Why did they do it?" Her hands shook.

"We have no idea, Irina. But you tell me, what Lord Aegon did to you. Did he... harm you?"

"No..." She stated strongly, her hands leaving Betha's. Irina couldn't understand why leaving the castle would be called a treachery by Visenya, of all people. Aegon was worried about her being with Orys, but even if her siblings assumed Irina and Orys married, why would it be called a treachery? Irina wiped her friend's tears. "He didn't hurt me and I don't think he can ever hurt me." Aegon had a lot of chances to kill her, but he never did, and she knew he had a fondness for her. She was still able to feel those phantom fingers of his around her waist, and his soft glances that often graced with a small smile.

"So the bite marks were not Lord Aegon's?" Betha asked expectantly.

"It was _his_... I don't know how to explain you. He was angry, and to add oil to that fire, I slapped him. He didn't know how to process that anger or he... This should sound lame to you, but Aegon is all I got, Betha. He promised he would protect me and keep me safe. And he is kind and gentle when needed be. And he is my own blood, my brother. After my father, he is the only person who truly loves me, in his own way. After all, my whole family is blessed with some madness and he has his own monsters, just like mine. Do you understand?"

"No," Betha shook her head. "Because my brother never did such things. But then we are different people. Its just... I don't want you get hurt by him."

"I don't have a choice." She stated staring at her fingers. "Aegon is my liege lord and the man of my house. He decides who I should marry and what I should do. After all, I have to serve my house. That was what my father said when he was alive, and my brother says the same thing."

"I am glad, I am an orphan and a fisherwoman." Betha beamed and went to work on Irina's hair.

After a week or so, a gallant young man stood by Irina's door, with neatly stitched garments, boots worn high till knees, and a smile that might give terrors to any weak person.

"What the fuck has my brother did to you?" Irina furrowed her brow in a complete confusion of seeing Vyl like a proper young man.

"A fucking galley. You have to call me a captain from now."

" _You back stabbing cunt!"_ Irina glowered at her former friend but the boy pulled her into his arms and gave an embrace before kissing her cheek. She was ready to slap him but his eyes were already wet and this was not his bawdy attempt to seduce her but a genuine affection.

"Thank you, Irina, for everything you have done. I know I should have first spoken with you before taking the offer. But the moment I stepped on that two hundred oared galley, I lost... I know I belong there, in the ocean, to serve your house."

She felt happy for him, even while feeling bitter at the same time. "Go away. Now, don't make me kill me you with my birds. Enjoy your damn boat and petty ocean."

He didn't leave though, instead he laughed like a stupid man telling his ludicrous tale of how Aegon allowed him to choose a war galley of his own and even gave a few men under Vyl's command. Once the boy left, Irina walked straight to Aegon's solar to fight with him for taking Vyl out from her service behind her back, but he was not there and neither was Rhaenys nor Visenya. Feeling like a fool, she came back to her tower, which only suffocated her for some more days.

When she tried to escape through the cliff path, she was shaken up to see the steel gate being replaced with a stone wall. Even her father never holed her up in the tower like Aegon did, and she almost screamed, kicking the wall. What was she supposed to do? Take those monster looking guards always to the shore? And the last time she left the castle, Visenya had threatened Betha, the only remaining companion. So, she indeed remained in the tower hoping Aegon would come back from where ever he left to with his wives.

Days rolled by and she stopped having food properly, spending more time in her birds to see as much world as possible, without any restraint. Her hair grew long, her skin more bright, for she never set a foot out in sun. But she listened every word of Betha, like prayers to discover where her friend went and who she met. Betha tried to cheer Irina by stitching beautiful designs on her silk gowns or braiding her growing hair in exotic patterns, while Irina felt lonely and desperate.

One such day, when she opened her knocking door, Aegon stood tall with some box in hand and smile gracing his features. She was furious and angry, seeing him so happy while she was dying inside.

"Does his lordship finally remember to feed the rat that he locked in a cage?" She seethed before closing the door on him. He only pushed the door easily, barging in. If it was any other sibling of hers, she would have made all her animals set upon them, but it was Aegon... and she realized there was happiness sprouting in her disdain heart seeing him after so many days.

"Finally..." He muttered, looking around the chamber which was filled with few portraits that she attempted to paint in her free time, and the soft sea blue carpet on floor. Irina never cared for such small things when she lived a life outside rolling in sand and salt. With nothing to do here, she did some changes with Betha to add life to those stone walls, and the flowers from the garden always smiled in her hair and hearth. "You have magic in your hands, my lady." His smile only widened when he opened the box and pulled out a gown like Orys brought once before. "Whenever I bought a dress like this, Rhaenys often scolded me saying they are too bright for her taste. But I love these bright colours. And I hope you will like this colour."

The fabric was indeed soft, the bright blue shimmering like water waves for the light. She couldn't admire its artwork while she was choking inside. "Aegon..."

"Wear it." He whispered pulling her into his arms bringing her braided her to the front, administering the detail in the style. "I want to see you in this dress. Now..." He placed a kiss on her forehead and held his contact in her eyes. "We will speak about every concern of yours."

He waited on the porch facing the ocean when she came wearing that bright blue gown. When his eyes set upon her body, it only glowed brightly and for a moment she thought this was all a dream. Rhaenys and Visenya would swallow her whole with their striking Valyrian beauty if she ever stood close to them. She was just plain, with short stature, and brown hair curves around her hips. Why would Aegon even think her beautiful?

"Perfect, Irina. You are absolutely perfect. It came just like how I thought it would."

"You thought of me while buying this!?"

"I was craving for you to wear this dress." His eyes became notoriously dark, and he held her cheeks in his hands, studying her features, inch by inch, through his wild gazes, from the tip of her nose till the tip of her breasts and she instantly felt ashamed, of being in such an incomprehensible situation and also enjoying it inside. This was wrong. "Tell me, sister. What have you been holding up in this heart of yours?" His forefinger pressed her breast near her heart, and she almost forgot to speak, while his eyes mischievously grinned.

"That- _I-_ Tower and the _guards_..." She literally blubbered, her words all swallowed, only a meek sound escaping in the form of voice, while Aegon dragged his finger down to the tip of her mound. Her heart almost stopped beating while his finger remained there, feeling her hardening nipple above her dress, and she instantly turned away, blood flowing through all parts of her body.

He cleared his throat and leaned his head on her shoulder, holding herself tight against his chest. "The guards are for your safety, sister. I can't risk losing you. Is there something you need to speak about?" While his lips were pressing kisses on her previously marked shoulder, his hands brushing the sides of her hip, she had to bite her lips to not let out a sound from the contact of his burning skin on hers.

"Stop..." She weakly whispered which only strengthened him to hold her even tighter, and the passion was plainly visible with the way his arms tightened against her tummy. He buried his nose inside her hair, inhaling it in a feral obsession, and turned her around to face her. His brows were crunched and half of her heart felt he looked scary while the other half felt he was in passion. Carefully, she kept her hand on his chest, and felt it to be thrumming violently just like hers. But this was not right, and they shouldn't be feeling this way for one another. "I want to be free, Aegon. This is too much for me."

His lips twitched, and she saw the age old feeling of being a prey returned to her, as he lowered her hands down, coming closer like a predator. "Did we not speak about this before?"

"To be arrested in these four walls... No. You told, I could go to the shore."

"Who stops you, now?" He yelled colliding his chest against hers.

"I need Vyl, not these stern soldiers who are like fucking dead. I need-"

" _Vyl…"_ He repeated it like that was some curse word and chuckled before letting her hand loose. "Tell me the truth, sister. When did you become such a low level whore to crave for men like him?"

She wanted to slap him, but she bit her cheeks to control her anger. "He is my friend, and you had no right in making him a captain of your ship."

"He was incapable of doing a duty and I allocated him to a respective place. I call that as efficiency. If you stop falling in love with your household guards, then you will understand what I mean. Have you spread your legs for him, already?"

She slapped him this time, uninterested in looking back the consequence. But even she was not hard on him like the other time, whether it was remembering the impacts or really liking him, she couldn't determine. "Stop saying such hurtful things. You are so mean. Gods... I don't even know why I am still staying here when all you do is keep me locked. Why do you do this to me, Aegon?"

She knew she was crying, her tears sliding her cheeks, her eyes flaring red, but that didn't reduce her rolling emotions, until he lowered and placed his lips on hers. Her first instinct was to resist that. And when she tried to pull away, he only held her cheeks in his palms and planted an even strong kiss, pulling out her lower lip to nibble, till she accepted his advance without fighting. She was so bad in even synching in rhythm with his fierce kiss, but he taught her by slowly letting her enjoy his tongue, and the taste of sweetness.

And just before he pulled back, he bit her plump lip hard enough that she had the copper taste of her own blood all over her tongue and his black eyes administered his artwork on her bruised swollen lips. When her senses returned, she glowered at him and walked so many steps back.

"You shouldn't have done that." She stated, feeling her chest shrink. "Our sisters... You are married and-"

"That is none of your concern. You asked me a reason for you to stay and I gave you one. Are you not content enough?"

The puzzles were frightening her and she should have refused, but when he lifted her to the feather bed, pulling her close to his chest, she knew she lost this battle. That was her home. The place by his heart was her home, and she closed her eyes shut, sobbing like a child, the feeling of doing so many mistakes overwhelming her frightening little form while he held her tight, his hands caressing her back, drugging her into sleep.

She knew when the morning came, he would not be there next to her. But that was for the next day. At that moment, she felt safe and present in his arms, and she chose to love that moment with all her heart, wrapping her whole hand around his broad chest, to her heart's content.


	11. Madness In Blood

Holding the dragon bone hilt, Irina carefully sliced the white bark to draw eyes on the tree, making it closely resemble to the dream. The red blood tears poured, making the face look ghastly than ever. Just like the gargoyles in the castle, the tree was terrific now with its blood smeared.

Could the Old Gods truly see her, now? Once, her mother had said, the Gods looked at the world through the heart tree. Perhaps these were their eyes. A chill passed down her spine, sprinkling goose-pimples on her body. They could see her... see all her sins. Like a mad girl, she started rubbing the eyes out of the bark, hoping they could go back blind and no one would ever know her sins.

If only she could change the past, would she have gone to that night when she had shamelessly kissed Aegon, and ended up betraying her own sisters. She came every day after that night to pray and ask for forgiveness to her Gods. Offering flowers and prayers, day after day, to not let her fall into the pit of any more misery.

It was not like she had much options, though. Had the guards never circled like a hawk around her tower, she would have ran to the farthest corner of the world, instead of holing up in a corner of her chamber, wondering when Visenya would come with Dark Sister to slice her head, or Rhaenys would come with Meraxes to burn down the whole tower.

Neither came, only Aegon’s old guard, Paxter, would knock on her door, occasionally bringing some presents that her brother would send. Even Aegon knew the risk, she assumed, for she had not seen his face in almost a moon, until now. Perhaps, other than that simple gesture of giving presents, he too might have felt guilt of betraying his wives. Kneeling for offering her prayers, she forcefully pushed away any thoughts of Aegon’s from her head. She shouldn’t think about him. Not when she was praying to absolve her sins.

_“Are you marking our house words on even your tree?”_

She had immersed herself in prayers and missed hearing the approaching footsteps. When she blinked her eyes, Aegon stood with his arms crossed, dressed formally for court, his black leather jacket polishing his defined features. As she wondered about sins... the Gods must be testing her by sending him.

Instinctively she scanned the garden when Aegon kneeled on the dirt before her, lifting her palms towards him. “The blood colour suits your skin.” He said, administering the white tree’s sap. His eyes instantly turned darker, and his fingers crawled to her shoulder where he had bit once and he traced the scar that he had left there. _“The blood colour really suits your skin..._ “

The rustic tone of his voice made the tiny little hairs on her body to stand straight and she went all the way back to that night. “I should be going.” She shrugged and his arm fell down, along with his face. He was disappointed, she could tell with the way his mouth frowned and his brows crunched.

“You should be thinking about coming to me, Irina. Not going away.” Was he telling all this for real? She thought he was feeling as much guilty as herself. “This gawking from a distance is not quenching my thirst, sister. It only makes me more desperate.”

“Gawking?” She was not understanding. _“But...”_

“Stop your act. Don’t play a fool now that I open up. Aren’t you the one who is seducing me, by wearing all this exotic flowers on your braid and playing with them daily?” He tugged her braid in which she had weaved the withering flowers from the garden, just like she had done for years.

“I never sat here to seduce you.” She bit back fiercely, and he simply looked down into her face with a teasing smile gracing his lordly face. The more she saw his eyes roaming on her body, the more she started getting uncomfortable, her skin flushing red in shyness and using that moment of weakness he leaned forward.

She almost stumbled before he caught her arms and pulled her to his chest. Her eyes darted past him focusing on how the blood of the bark reached the soil, while he caught her lips with a feverous passion. Just moments before, she was chanting prayers to forgive her sins, and him coming abruptly like that out of nowhere did not help her mission. The ruggedness of his kiss made her shriek into his mouth, while she struggled to match with his strength.

She tried to pull away from his musky scent; her fisted hands pushing his chest, and that aided in fuelling his feral growls before he bit on her lips in an angry attempt to punish her, and a drop of blood dribbled just like how it drizzled on her God’s eyes, while she squeaked in pain. Without thinking further, his tongue lapped on her lips, swiping that blood away and when she looked into his eyes, his dark desires were swaying more evidently, making her own knees slump down.

“Your lips are like peaches, swollen ripe, tempting me to taste over and over.” He came for another kiss on her bruised lips, but she stopped him with whatever strength remained.

“Aegon, let me go. I don’t want to do this. Please...” Her answer came harsher than she wanted to.

“I have no control, Irina. You are giving me sleepless nights and I am not able to feel content by just watching you from a distant. There is no point in thinking too much about something I can’t control. I tried, and I failed. Its time to yield.” He murmured before burying his nose into her hair while her eyes wandered every corner of the garden in fear of being discovered.

His fingers from her waist started crawling up to her chest, and when he was about to cup her breast, she jerked away with all her strength and he ended up pulling her braided her, kissing every twirled curl in her braid, touching the gentle petals of the flowers she had adorned it with. 

It was not exciting like the last time for her. They were in the open, doing a crime — a sin, in front of her own Gods but she couldn’t even fight with him. He was monstrously huge, and when his hands from her waist went to her behind, she yelped moving back. If not for the voices that emerged across the garden, Aegon would have never let her go.

Within a second’s notice, she ran like a mad horse, all the while crying, unable to believe if it was herself doing such filthy things. When she turned around the corner to find who the intruder might have been, Visenya and Ser Quenton already rounded him, their voices inaudible for her to make out what they spoke, but it bought her fear fold several thousand times wondering at the prospect of what might have happened, had she not left at the right time.

* * *

A few blood drops dribbled down her finger, and Irina shoved that piece of golden silk away, while Betha hurried to her side to clutch the needle prickled skin. The red pigment of blood bought back memories of Aegon straight to her head and those were giving more nightmares. Holing up in the tower was even more torturous ever since that day in the garden.

When Irina was a young girl, her father had bought a ministress all the way from Pentos to teach her the art of making beautiful patterns on clothes. As she was a slow learner, Irina never really caught the trick of that trade. Unlike her, Betha became an expertise in embroidering even without a ministress to administer or assist. Her friend even taught Irina how to work with a needle. But the skill was not in her blood, unlike her friend, who was doing masterpiece in every dress that Aegon had sent to her tower.

“Careful, Irina!” Betha chided, but there was a warm smile to let Irina know it was only caring. “Why don’t read this book, while I stitch?”

Her friend didn’t know to read or write, but she would listen to Irina reading, word after word, compensating for all her lacking knowledge in worldly matters. Irina glanced her chamber again and saw how much it had been changed within a span of two moons.

The soft blue carpet had a huge white dragon flying and spitting flames of blue fire splayed on the floor, like crystals. Irina just did the outline of Aegerax, and Betha did the embroidery. The walls were decorated with tapestries of a landscape in Lys with green mountain valley of flowers, with Balerion, Vhagar and Meraxes flying in sky.

“Had you been born to my father, instead of me, he would have held a feast just for your skills.” She acknowledged her friend’s natural abilities and touched the soft fabric that Betha was working on lastly. “How much golden dragons do you think this material would have costed for Aegon to buy?”

“I have never seen these silks in a local market. These are imported, more like from Lys or Pentos.”

A knock on the door made her legs to scramble up in fear, and Irina held her friend’s arms in panic, wondering if her sisters were there to punish her for all the crimes. She was drowning in guilt of how much she was letting loose of her morals, and her mind all at once blanked, speculating about which of her birds would be a better afterlife to warg into, before they cut off her neck.

Sweat drops started decorating her face, but when the door was pushed open by, the old man Paxter, she let out a relieved sigh of yet again escaping narrowly, while Betha hurried to the door for picking up all the dresses that the old man held in his hand. Just before leaving, Paxter gave a note, and a bejeweled box.

“More dresses!!!” Betha gleamed at the prospect of stitching wonders with her fingers while Irina frowned. “Does he only choose these bright colours?”

“Yes, it seems he has a thing for bright colours.” Irina answered only eagerly on reading the note that was passed.

“What are these stones?” Betha asked, investigating the rubies and black pearls studded on a long silver chain. “Whatever... They will look splendid on you. And with these dresses... I bet no man can take their eyes off of you.”

“I can’t wear any of this.” She almost screamed, unable to believe Aegon had started filling her chamber with clothes and jewels that she never asked for. “My sisters will strangle me if they see me shining in any of these clothes. They will... suspect.” Her voice was so feeble in fear. “Do you think they haven’t already caught up with all these?”

“I don’t understand, my lady. What will they suspect?”

Irina shook her head instead of responding with her guilt. Aegon was getting bolder while she was quivering to a corner here. Already she was dreading for the day when she would be summoned to be executed, and here he was sending all these things. The gesture itself was very sweet indeed... Even her father had never taken much care about how Irina dressed. Sometimes, Orys bought nice clothes, once in a while as a present. Not like this... Her whole wardrobe being filled by only presents. Sometimes, she liked the simplicity in breeches and rugged tunic to play in sea. Or make her gown dirty by watering the garden.

Well, considering how she would never go to the shore again or step into the garden, it made some sense. Still, she wouldn’t risk by wearing these clothes on usual days, just so her sisters could sense something amiss. She was careful so far, in every step she took and every breath that came out, by locking herself in.

Not that she had any choice. The three guards he had appointed never even responded to Irina. They were Aegon’s eyes and ears, doing only what he had asked of them. Betha was her confidante. Still, Irina never thought Aegon had it in him to buy dresses and send for her. Would Rhaenys not notice the change in his behaviour? Had he always did these gestures to Visenya? Irina had often seen him fighting in the pit, or bawling in an argument with their lord father when he was alive, or be with Rhaenys in cheek burning positions. Never had she assumed he would take his time and care to find something he liked and present to anyone. Especially not for Irina.

But then, wasn’t he full of surprises, now?

Had her father lived to see what she had turned out to be, he might have flogged her ass and impaled her heart with an iron rod for betraying her own family. Her own sisters...

“What’s written in that chit?” Betha’s voice brought her back and she opened the paper slowly.

_‘Attend the court from morrow in any of these dresses. I will be waiting to see you.’_

She threw the chit away into the fireplace, her mind already playing tricks to meet him, even though she knew it was best to never go anywhere close to him. _Is he missing me? He should be..._ And atleast, he was sensible enough to not visit the tower. All it required was one single rat to see him leave her chamber at the middle of the night, and then her doom would begin. The tower was already enclosing her heart, her mind and her sanity. The guards were always on watch for her. And her heart was racing, helplessly, swinging in a dilemma to do the right thing or commit a sin. More prominent feeling was to leave this all in the past and run for her life.

“We should go somewhere out, even if it is with the guards. Perhaps to see our old friends?” Irina asked, and her friend jumped in happiness. How many days would Betha be with Irina? One day even she would leave Irina, just like Vyl. And who would be there for her when Betha left?

Ignoring those troublesome questions, Irina spent her next day with Paxter the crazy old man, who only grunted for any questions asked, and Betha to meet her old fisher folk friends, giving them fresh baked bread and cheese, visiting their huts, eating odd varieties of clams, Plaice and even Shark meat and hearing to their tales of little adventure. Without walls encircling her, and eyes monitoring her, Irina felt at peace... at least for that one day.

* * *

When she returned to the castle as the sun raised high at the noon, though, one of the Aegon’s guards, the asshole of a knight called Ser Horas, halted her horse by pulling the reign, and asked her to get down.

“With whose permission did you take the lady out?” Ser Horas howled at the old man. “I bet your ass will crack in fire, when this gets over.” He laughed, showing his devilish teeth, and held her wrist. “And you, my lady... Your presence is requested by your family.” His eyes wandered to her chest and below for a moment, a sly smile gracing his lips, making her feel disgusted of even standing close to him. She never even bothered to speak with Ser Horas all these days.

“Remove your hand young man or I will have to.” The old guard Paxter’s sword already sliced through the young knight’s skin. Shoving Ser Horas out of the way, he came protectively towards Irina. “I will take the lady to her family and I will answer the lord if needed.”

Ser Horas laughed like a madman, his fingers flexing around the fresh wound. “Good luck with that!! You always end up choosing the wrong side, old man. Don’t tell me I didn’t say you, when they claim your head while they come for hers.”

The old man simply grunted, his moustache quivering before he led her to the Stone Drum tower. Irina kept looking back several times to check on Ser Horas, who was smirking with some knowledge of her impending summon.

“What did he mean by choosing sides?” She whooped, holding old Paxter’s hand, but the man gave nothing in response. “What about claiming the head? Who would claim my head?”

No answer, as usual. Her trust in the old man was not mountains. None of them were loyal to her, but Ser Horas was appointed by Aegon himself. And Aegon would never harm her. Then why would the knight ask to choose a side? Something didn’t set right with their behaviours. In the ordeal of worrying about the young knight’s disturbing words, she forgot to think about the summon.

Visenya was sitting by the fireplace, oil cloth in one hand and Dark Sister in other, cleaning it meticulously and Rhaenys was standing in front of a huge reflection glass correcting her silver-gold mane with her fingers. Standing by her brother’s solar, Irina worried her lips, her mind screaming to disappear into her bald eagle faster before they butcher her body.

“Is it this hard to assemble everyone for a family time?” Aegon questioned, his voice emerging from behind and all the three turned to the door at once, to see him entering, but when Irina turned back, both of her sisters' eyes were affixed on her in shock or anger she couldn’t decide. Just like Irina, none of her sisters had any clue to why Aegon had assembled them. The nightmares started dancing before her eyes. _What havoc is he going to launch now?_

“You should have asked me before taking her anywhere out.” Aegon blasted at Paxter.

“The lady wanted to...”

“Never mind. We will speak about this later.” Aegon dismissed old Paxter, and she stared at her brother in disbelief. First, he locked her up in the tower, then appointed guards to never let her away. Now... they should ask his permission even if she went with them. What was he making her to be? A prisoner?...

His eyes were burning with splitting rage when he walked past her, towards his wives, and she wondered who was the wounded person amongst them to get so much anger. What crime did she commit now, for him to even get anger?

“Are you ever going to explain us, why the fuck she is getting a royal treatment with guards protecting her?” Rhaenys seethed. “She is creating chaos to our house. How many times should I ask you to let her go?”

“She is our blood, Rhaenys.” Aegon replied calmly, his fingers tracing his chin as he took his seat opposite to Visenya. When his eyes met Irina’s, there was a plain caution that hinted her to be careful. “I am keeping the promise I gave to our father.”

Rhaenys scoffed. “She eats up our treasury, by having a household and guards to protect her, answer me how long we have to put up with this.”

Irina was standing right there, in front of them three and she was hearing Rhaenys speak about her as though she was not existing. Visenya was not raging like Rhaenys but curiously observing between Aegon and Irina, with no hint of anger but a simpering curve about her lips. It was more threatening than Rhaenys’s spiteful words.

“Till she gets married.” Aegon said, bringing all of Irina’s attention to him. “Till I find a suitable man for her hand, she will remain in her tower.”

Her eyes started stinging when he spoke about her marriage to another man. She didn’t think of her marriage in the past two moons. Her worries and fears were only about getting caught. And she was suffocating in the tower, while he had been planning to ship her away.

“A suitable man?” Visenya raised her voice, but her sister’s eyes were affixed on Irina’s, as though she could see into her hurting heart. “Why not give her hand to Orys? He is our father’s son too, although unacknowledged, he will do good by her.”

Aegon’s eyes lingered on Irina too, but unlike Visenya, who seemed to be amused by everything happening, Aegon was studying her reaction. “Orys is a bastard.” He spat spitefully, making her flinch. Orys never liked to get addressed with that title. He would be devastated to know Aegon himself said these words. “He might be my brother, but he will not get Irina’s hand.”

Visenya chuckled, her eyes mysteriously scanning Aegon, before she walked towards the door. “Its all your game now, brother. Father is not here to stop. Do anything you wish but remember what words you promised me.” With that she left the solar, no interest in prolonging the conversations. Irina wanted to leave too. She didn’t like being spoken as though she was an object or hearing to Aegon’s harsh words.

“You will not give her to Orys, not to any lowly knights or any of our household guards. Even Ser Quenton will make a good husband, his wife had long passed, but you won’t give to any of them. Who do you think will run here for her hand? She is a simpleminded fool, Aegon. No one will want her.” Rhaenys screamed, already throwing venomous glances at Irina.

“She is no simpleton, Rhaenys. I have said this a hundred times to you.” He sighed, his fingers rubbing his temple, frustration of repeating things to Rhaenys. No wonder her sister had tried to send Irina away. For the first time, she wanted Rhaenys to be successful in that mission. At least, she would be released from the prison. “But that doesn’t mean she is good enough to be a wife.” His words and eyes were all directing like an arrow to her heart. “She doesn’t know how to follow orders.” He was meaning to hurt her, and it was working. The insults were working with the way his words hissed. “She hasn’t learned anything about obeying.” His jaw tightened, fury evident, before he looked at Rhaenys. “She needs help to be groomed.”

“I will not let you spend our coins like father to bring thousands of ministresses from Pentos, for a simpleton. Stop this folly, Aegon.”

“She doesn’t need a ministress Rhaenys. She needs your help.”

“What?” Irina’s strangled voice emerged for the first time, even before Rhaenys replied. “I don’t need anyone’s help. I don’t even want to get married to some lord. I don’t want any of this.”

“So, what is your plan? Keep your high ass on that tower and swipe out this house’s wealth?” Rhaenys yelled at her. “The sooner you leave, the sooner I get peace. You are a reminder of everything that I lost. I won’t even care if you disappear into thin air, unlike my brother. You should feel grateful for that.” Aegon had to pat Rhaenys shoulder to calm down the madness.

Aegon drew a long breath before speaking. “I don’t want to force this on you, Rhaenys. Only if you wish... I thought... You could teach her some things. Take her with you to the court and with the ladies you accompany.” Aegon trailed his words carefully, his fingers clutching Rhaenys’s, soothing out the tension. Irina couldn’t stand to see them like that. Their closeness made her weak, stupid heart get even more wounded. And she hated Aegon for doing this in front of her.

“I have a better plan.” Rhaenys declared. “I haven’t had a handmaid in some time. Let her serve me and learn some humility.” The malign in Rhaenys’s words made Irina cringe.

“That’s perfect.” Aegon conceded and kissed Rhaenys’s forehead.

“No...” Irina screamed, her fist tightening till her knuckles turned pale. “I won’t do that.” She won’t become Rhaenys’s servant now. Every day Rhaenys would belittle her. She can’t live a life of panic wondering what accusations and punishments would wait for her.

“Were you not saying about flying to meet a friend of yours? Why don’t you leave while I make Irina understand her responsibilities?” Aegon requested, and Rhaenys gave a sly smile like the young knight in successfully plotting to keep Irina below her feet.

“Make sure my bed chamber remains clean before the sun sets, bastard sister.” Rhaenys left giggling to herself while Irina threw dagger through her eyes at Aegon.

“You can’t make me become her servant.” She stated moving close to him, her eyes already burning in pain. “You promised me that the tower would be mine, and although I hate living inside, atleast I was peaceful without having to bear with the court’s eyes. You should keep to that promise.”

Aegon didn’t even bother to see her when he unsheathed Blackfyre and placed it on the wall.

“Please, don’t make me do this. I don’t want to do this.” The tears that was brimming on her eyes fell one after another, but he didn’t even turn when he started undoing his sword belt. “I won’t do this. You can’t make me. If you force me, I will leave this castle.”

A slap on the carpet made her flinch when the belt fell with force to the floor and the whole chamber appeared darker when he growled and covered the distance between them in two long steps of his legs. Her legs froze to the place, when his fingers curled around her pale throat and he slammed her against the nearby wall, making her head get dashed against the cold stones.

“How dare you give me an ultimatum?” His breathing came erratically, and she forgot to breathe, unable to believe he had such a monster inside. “I give you everything, Irina, but you choose to always defy me. Now, you dare to tell to my face you would escape this castle? Huh?”

When his fingers tightened, her face turned red, chest heaving in fear of him. Fear of seeing his wrath. She wanted to unsee this. Unsee him behave like a raging monster. She did nothing. Was she not allowed to defend her own dignity?

“All I asked of you was to come to the court. And you not just chose to ignore my request, but left to Gods know where. How many times will you disrespect me?”

Was this all about punishing her for not following what he said? For a complete minute, she stuck to the wall like a lizard, feeling those harsh fingers that was about to crush her neck, holding her breath and sound, not allowing even a drop of whisper to come out, only listening to his growls, hoping beyond hope that this would all become a dream come morning. She cried, then, all the surge of emotions breaking out of her heart and wondered if he would kill her then and there, to end those never ending pain.

“Oh, Irina...”

She heard his whisper before his hand left her throat and she fell down to a heap of mess, her head buried in her hands. Unbelievable long sobs started escaping her throat in fear, anger and resentment of her own existence. She wished her father was alive for some more years to take care of her. He would have never made her to be a servant or threatened her like this. _I am all alone, now._

“I did not intend to... Fuck me!!! Come here. I don’t know where this anger comes from. Come here...” His hands were tucking her own while she dragged herself to the wall, trying to go as far as possible away from him. He would hurt her. She knew that much. He was going to hurt her, if she let herself go into his arms. “I am sorry. Come here, Irina. Come to me.”

She pushed him away, her fists slapping his chest over and over, hoping he would leave her alone to drown in her own sorrows, and when he refused to move, her head fell to her knees, the buried loneliness of the prison he made her to live, coming out as tears. He scooped her in his arms, in one single pull, and took her inside his bedchamber, the one she was supposed to clean.

“Let me go!!! I don’t want to be here.” The moment he placed her on bed, she rolled around to run and reach the warmth of her own prison, but he dragged her skirt tearing it in the process and made her lie next to him. His arms were all around her body and when the cold air hit her legs, she realized how immodestly her dress was torn.

Unbothered about any of that, he started apologizing profusely, his fingers making circles on the small of her back, while his own body carefully pushed her to the feather bed, arresting her. “I didn’t want to hurt you, Irina. That rage... Just... I need you, sister. Much more than you could imagine. I tried to let go of you and not be... this person. But I am not able to. I am in love...”

She closed her ears with both her hands, refusing to hear the words he was telling, and shook her head vehemently. “Why don’t you leave me alone? You hurt me bad, Aegon. You threaten me to kill one day. You lock me up in a tower with armed guards around me. Now, you are making me a servant for your wife. How could you love me, after doing all this? Where is your love, when you were choking the life out of me?”

He pushed her beneath his body, raising on top, and his hands held her cheeks, forcing her to see his face. “If it was anyone else in my place, they would have killed you instead of locking you, Irina. I have a fondness for you. I always had, and I couldn’t bring myself to kill. Why can’t you see it?” She whimpered, her nose twitching, not completely understanding. “Forget what I said. It was never my intention to strangle you.”

His fingers examined the red marks on her neck, and she flinched, turning her head when it started burning with the contact of his hand. He started kissing those marks, his lips tracing the red splotches with no urgency. Until she stopped crying and felt a little ease in his presence, he didn’t stop caressing her skin with his tongue or calmly pressing his thumb on her palms. For some time, she stopped thinking, her mind spacing out from reality, falling into the gentleness of his caresses, until he raised her chin, making her to see him.

“I have no control when it comes to you. I was ecstatic in the morning to see you in the clothes that I presented. Guess my disappointment when I heard you left the castle.”

“But now you want me to get married to someone else. Then why do you do this?”

“Rhaenys has been asking questions, Irina. How can I make her to take you to court, unless I tell some valid reasons? Don’t worry. I will be the only man in your life. No man will come near you. Even I didn’t expect Rhaenys will ask you to be her handmaid. All the more, it is for better. I can see you more and...” Aegon leaned down to her chest, burying his lips into her cleavage and her body instinctively jerked, feeling his hardness against her thigh. He chuckled when she pulled his head away from her breast. “Being a handmaid is not a servant. I want you to become close with her. She is kind and gentle. Once she gets to know you, she will definitely understand. And you have to know her too.” Irina paused, reading his mind, which seemed more that innocent when it came to Rhaenys. If only he knew the truth…

“This is wrong.” She knew her words were simply spilling with no meaning to it. Even he was in no mood to convince her anymore. “When they find out, they will kill me, Aegon. And.. What do you want from me?”

“I want the whole of you, Irina. Your heart, your love, your _devotion_ and your body. Everything and it belongs... only to me. I want you to obey me.” The gentle lover was long gone, replaced by a monster whose calloused hand started tracing her supple thick flesh of her legs, which was bare open after he had torn the cloth. With wild groans escaping his mouth, he latched his lips on her breast, on top of her dress. The last piece of her shyness and reluctance fell down, when she felt his teeth grind at her hardening nipple, and her hard-bitten lips couldn’t stop the wanton moans, that she was trying to suppress, when his thumb traced the line of her inner thigh, that was pressed tight in fear. It was loosening slowly and his fingers were trying to invade her privacy until she felt his lips on hers.

“I need you... desperately… but not now. Rhaenys will come from her ride. I bought you a new dress. Wear that and leave to your tower.” He kissed her nose, her heart becoming more and more heavy with all the secrets.

“I can’t wear those dresses, Aegon. Just give me a cloak.” He yanked the remaining of her dress, tearing it completely along her hip, and she jumped up to hide her modesty with her hands that couldn’t cover her thighs or her legs. “Are you insane? _You-_ ”

“Wear what I give you. You belong to me now. You will do what I tell you to, or... walk in these tattered clothes to your tower.”

She would have walked to her tower in those, if it was salvageable to any extent, but they were beyond covering her modesty. When his hands started rubbing her legs again, eyes bulging at the sight of her thick thighs, she screamed, “Fine... Give me the dress. I want to leave now.”

She wore the bright red cloth with beautiful patterns from the nearby chamber and left to her tower, almost running. Irina couldn’t sleep that night. Her mind plotted to escape, which seemed to be the plausible and sensible action at that time. But she would reach nowhere. Aegon would hunt her down. Could she even escape his claws? She didn’t think so. When her fingers traced that new blood-red silk, a smile started spilling, and she wondered what got into him to love her. She was no beauty, that she was aware. She was plain, thick around legs and hips, unruly hair, freckles filled nose. None of the beauty that Rhaenys and Visenya were blessed with had come to her. Still, Aegon loved her. And there was this wild possessiveness in him that was scaring her to death, but at times, she felt belonging to someone.

If she only learned to survive Rhaenys… and the court… Perhaps, there was a chance for her to see a future with him.


	12. Living With The Monsters

Irina brushed out the water droplets from the petals of a few colourful flowers from the garden, which were held together in a silk ribbon, and waited for the guards to allow her inside. Even the entire garden would not suffice to please her sister. She was not hoping for it, either. Her heart had been hardened like stone when it came to Rhaenys, but she would try, just like Aegon advised, for the sake of family... Once they allowed, she entered warily, her foot unsure of setting into the dragon’s lair. 

_Prepare to be berated... Steal your heart to be insulted... You are a dragon!!! Dragons don’t cry._

“Do you really think servants wake up their masters to do chores, every day?” Rhaenys sneered, coming to the private chamber of the solar in her silk robe, her silver-gold hair messed up in a bun from the previous night’s sleep. Even then, her sister was looking splendid, beyond doubt.

“But I am your handmaid, sister. Not a servant...” Irina whispered, her lip pulled into her teeth to restrain herself from telling anything wrong in anger. “I bought these flowers for you.”

Rhaenys plucked the bouquet from her hand and threw it aside on the nearby table before pulling a chair to sit with cross-legged. “Listen to me half-wit!” Her sister yelled. “You are here to serve me. Do you understand? Forget whatever Aegon had informed you. He is all like our father, so soft that you can easily stamp over.” Irina wondered if that was how Rhaenys perceived Aegon to be. It should be, else why would she carelessly take another man to her bed. Had she never seen his wrath? Irina’s fingers traced her throat, which was covered with a fragrant paste to hide the truth, instinctively. “I haven’t forgotten your betrayal from the last time. And I will extract my revenge with fire and blood. Don’t you forget!! Now... Go, fill my bathtub with sizzling hot water.”

Irina was not anticipating for such an angry confrontation. She was expecting as usual bullying from Rhaenys. What was the treachery that her sister spoke about? It was almost several moons that she even interacted with Rhaenys. She started sweating, her heart beating to panic, her mind rewinding the warning in those cryptic cruel tone of her sweet sister’s, as she searched for Sybelle.

She might not have been attending court, but Irina knew just enough that this was a maid’s duty. They were getting paid for this work. Once the maid filled, she came back for Rhaenys and heard giggling noises from inside the bed-chamber that her sister was sharing with Aegon. For a long time she waited outside, unwilling to witness something that might hurt her, but when she realized the water would cool down and Rhaenys might find another reason to bawl at her, Irina knocked the door gently.

“Come in, my bastard sister!!”

Even after all those years, hearing to that name made her get flinched. _Guard your heart, Irina!!!_ This was only a beginning, and she would be subjected to this torture to every minute from now. Even her father was not able to stop Rhaenys when it came to name calling. And when she entered, her eyes twisted, finding Rhaenys lying on Aegon’s bare chest. _Did Rhaenys’s punishment already begin?_ If so, this was the cruel most one that she would ever receive, she assumed. Her heart had a stabbing ache when she remembered herself in the same bed, in the same position, not before a day long and she instantly shifted her gaze to the floor. 

“Your bath is ready, sister.”

“Aegon!” Rhaenys whined. “I am asking you one last time. Will you appoint Andrik to be our court singer or not?”

“We are doing just fine with no singers. That numbskull is asking twenty golden dragons for a fortnight on top of free meals, food and clothes. Its ridiculous, Rhaenys. Hire someone reasonable. Now, you leave to your bath, our sister is waiting.” Aegon hissed, almost dragging Rhaenys off of him. Irina shut her eyes close when Rhaenys latched on to Aegon’s lips in her attempt to seduce and make him accept to her bargain.

Irina barged out, unable to stand there for another second. Her fingers traced the marks that he had rewarded the previous day, and she couldn’t stop wondering if it all happened only in her head. She couldn’t think straight, witnessing such intimacy between them both. Only then, the reality of her situation started dawning on her. This would be her life from now on, to witness them both smooch and grind into each other, or even worse... she might witness them fucking in bed too. How could Aegon be so cruel to do this to her?

“Don’t stand like a statue there. Come scrub me in the bath.” Rhaenys bellowed leaving to the bath chamber and Irina wiped the spilling tears, hurriedly, attempting to give herself a moment. Just as she was about to leave the door, her wrist was pulled from behind and she almost shrieked, falling to the floor before his hand shut her mouth.

“Happy morning, sister!” He grinned and caught her lips with his. _How dare he?!_ She resisted and pulled away, but when he forced leaning forward, she gave a tight slap that made him dazed for a complete minute. It was his all his doing. She didn’t want to become a handmaid to Rhaenys of all people and he dragged her into this pit, strangling her throat in the process. 

“Don’t you dare do that with me, Aegon! I am not here for your entertainment.” She seethed, her eyes showering daggers on his own perplexed ones, and she left to the door, without turning back, unable to believe he would try to do such a thing. _Let him suffer too. What was he thinking of me? How could he touch me after being like that with Rhaenys!_ She didn’t even bother of apologizing or worrying of what he might do. It was not the first time she slapped him and the previous day would not remain the last time he would strangle her. At least that much she knew to expect of him. He would come for her, but she could prepare to face him unlike Rhaenys.

Helping her sister in the bath chamber was no easy task too. Rhaenys addressed Irina as a bastard a thousand times and complained on every single prospect of her work. “You are scrubbing too hard”, Rhaenys complained at first, and when Irina went soft, Rhaenys chided for becoming a lazy swine. 

It was her sister’s gaze that troubled Irina the most, the one that she had never seen before. Measuring from head to toe, Rhaenys would now and again scan Irina with something close to... pity or guilt. She didn’t know what it was, but that gaze was becoming unsettling. A warning signal it was, Irina’s senses were always on alert.

By the end of the day, when she returned to her tower, burning hot tears rolled down her cheeks, as Rhaenys’s harsh words kept ringing on repeat.

The following few days went even more cruel. Her duty, early in the morning, was to wake up Rhaenys with a glass of lemon water. Unfortunately, it also meant she had to see Aegon in bed with Rhaenys. The very thought churned her own stomach, and she wondered how Visenya was so unbothered by any of this. He seemed to spend almost every night with Rhaenys. But the second day was better, as Aegon was nowhere to be found in the solar. He seemed to have left even before she even arrives, probably showing his defiance to Irina for that behaviour. Or to spare her from any more pain.

It was the only good thing of that whole day to not see them both together. Helping Rhaenys in her bath, or picking a dress for Rhaenys with no knots and thread out of place, was so tiring of a process. Not to mention how much surly words were poured down on Irina’s ears, for being imperfect. Irina brushed Rhaenys’s soft silky silver-gold later that evening, and when a strand of it fell down, the whole world went into chaos. 

“Are you secretly plotting to make me an old woman, by pulling hair out of my head, every day?” Rhaenys screamed. 

“You already have silver hair, Rhaenys. Its not like me taking a strand would only make you grow older.” Irina spat back. At times, she couldn’t control speaking back, how much ever she restrained from doing so.

It only tempted Rhaenys to antagonize her further. “Why wouldn’t you say that!! Are you jealous of me, Irina? To look at your own half sister have the old Valyrian beauty, with perfect tits and ass, the spun silver-gold as a crown in all but name. Tell me sister, how many days did you cry to Gods for letting you take after your ugly mother?”

Irina had tolerated it all. But when it came to her mother, she could never keep quiet. No one could speak about her mother that way. “My mother?... You say she was ugly. Yet, our father, Lord Aerion, fell in love with that woman and chanted her name even in death bed. I am glad that I took after my mother.”

Rhaenys’s eyes were flaming, fire burning in both orbs. “Bastard!!!” She spat, plucking the brush from Irina’s hand and throwing it to the floor. “How dare you bring that up now? Do you think father is here to cuddle you every night? Had he kept your mother in her place, I wouldn’t even have to bother looking at your face, now. And yes... You look just like your ugly mother. After all, you are from the same low born blood. How can you even possibly tolerate or be content with what was given to you? You will try, like her too, to climb the stairs. And I will break your bones, before you breathe, to come above your status. Not so long... You will soon find your grave. Get lost now!!!”

Irina swallowed all her pride and tucked it inside, instead of retorting. It would be of no use to shout at deaf ears. What was she even trying to mend with Rhaenys? Even her father was unable to do it. But there was something more to her sister’s words. _To find a grave?_ Irina decided to use one of her birds to spy on Rhaenys. Her sister might be plotting her death, and she had to keep a close watch, if she even planned on surviving. Rhaenys was not on a mission to convert Irina into a lady and send to a Keep. It was a death trap.

Days went by when Irina started becoming wary of anyone who came close to her. She trusted very few of the old guards who she knew from her father’s time. Ser Quenton, the old Maester, old Paxter, often helped her and spoke kindly to her. The servants were all new, the old ones replaced, and she trusted them even lesser. She often fed her bald eagle her food before consuming her meals. At times, she felt herself to be stupid to believe any of Rhaenys’s threats, which could simply be a taunting madness, but at times, she wanted to be alert and keep her guard.

With a lot of courage when she approached Aegon to request him to understand her turmoil of the situation, but he gave no response, no words... not even a nod, still holding the grudge when she had slapped him.

“I will never forgive you, Aegon. For forcing me into this hell. Your will rot in the doom of Valyria after you die, for making me suffer.” She yelled and barged out of his solar, when he refused to even look at her eyes to hear her concerns. And as usual, Rhaenys did wonders with her bedraggled head and thoughts. 

Rhaenys wasn’t the only one who found fun in jeering and prodding her pride. It was those five girls who would accompany her sister. Lady Elinor of Bar Emmon, Lady Alarra Massey, Lady Alyssa Valeryon — one of the cousins to Rhaenys, Lady Jirelle Crabb, and Elinda, the steward’s daughter. Each of them were a variety, and they all abhorred Irina unanimously just so Rhaenys would be close to them.

Even when the court had a fool who was brought all the way from Pentos, they cracked up seeing Irina’s failures. One fine day, everyone assembled in Great Hall to have an exquisite've feast, when the so-called singer Andrik was finally appointed to court, just to listen to his songs the whole day. 

Unwittingly, her eyes searched for Aegon, as she wore one of the bright golden gown that he had presented, which had tremendous thread work done by Betha, but unfortunately he was not present in the Great Hall. It had been around a fortnight since she had slapped him in anger... and with determination she tried to hold on to that beef she had with him, instead of giving up. But she wished to see his face, once in a while too. Even after all those altercations, she searched for him. For what reasons, she had no idea.

“My, My!! Isn’t that a lovely dress?” Rhaenys exclaimed, making her cooing ladies to echo some weird sounds. “The embroidery work is brilliant, sister. Only it doesn’t suit your fat ugly face.” Rhaenys hissed, making everyone to giggle, and Irina bit her cheeks to not to let them know that their gibes were affecting her. It became one of the days, when Gods showed mercy and Visenya approached Rhaenys asking questions about some lord who paid no visit to the feast last time.

Irina tried to leave to bed early that night, so she could spend some time with Betha, with whom she spent the least of her time, lately. And just when she crossed the table, her golden gown turned red, when hot boiling soup was splattered all over her chest. When the bowl that laid next to Jirelle Crabb started clattering on the floor, Irina’s jaw dropped when she looked into Rhaenys’s ladies’ who started jesting and laughing so aloud. She didn’t know which one of them did, but with the way they laughed, it made no difference.

“Now, my bastard sister! The gown suits your status.” Rhaenys guffawed and even the courtiers, singers and jesters seemed to find amusement. She would have cried had the tears didn’t dry. Although it was long lost, she noted every laughing face, until her eyes settled on Visenya’s stares. Visenya didn’t seem to share the jape and remained unbothered by any of those incidents. Nor did a few of the servants and guards with whom she had been interacting lately. Many frowned on such behaviour from Rhaenys before leaving the Great Hall, and she noted their faces too. Just like Irina, Visenya didn’t forget to notice the change in atmosphere.

Irina left to her chamber, took a long hot bath and cuddled to her dogs, rewinding those girls’ faces over and over in her head. She would make sure toremember everyone’s faces. She would... There would come a time for Irina too, and she had to remember the girls’ faces. Times like these Irina thought more about Aegon, who was the sole reason of all the misgivings. But she couldn’t bring it in herself to hate him altogether. She wished he was there in the Great Hall. She wished he had seen in her in that beautiful dress he brought for her.

Rhaenys wouldn’t dare to pull that stunt when Aegon sat at court. Those were the times, when Irina truly enjoyed court time. Sliding against a corner in the wall, at court, seeing every little commotion through her own eyes instead of the birds’, witnessing how Aegon gave judgements, fair in trial to everyone, or how Rhaenys enjoyed the compliments showered by young men and how Visenya always wore a frown of disdain on her lips, that made the same young lords to cower in her presence. She listened and heard. She observed and learned of how not to be and sometimes how better to be. But, most of the times, her eyes often lingered on to the man who sat on the dragon throne like the mighty Balerion himself.

He hadn’t uttered a word to her ever since that morning of their quarrel. She expected he would eventually speak with her, chide her or fight back, but he did nothing. Although he didn’t speak with words, the silence and distance separating them didn’t stop the way his eyes would score for her presence. Every time she attended his court, Aegon’s eyes would strain at her direction. It would be only for a moment and she knew he was very careful around others, but she never missed catching that glimpse of a glance at her direction or the way his fingers would curl the moment he turned away or his stutters from loss of words when he happened to see her wave a smile at him.

And she knew what he was expecting. An apology... and hell as sure she was determined to not give him that satisfaction. He never knew Rhaenys’s cruelty. He only chose to see the bright side of their sister and stuck to it like a leech, instead of investigating the truth. It pained Irina to see him be this vulnerable person, who let her get hurt in this process. So, she chose to remain silent and always attached herself to Rhaenys, so he wouldn’t strangle her again to extract obedience.

Her bird spying yielded no big results, other than the obvious answer that Rhaenys’s adamant need to have that Pentoshi singer in court was to simply fuck him whenever Aegon left the castle. 

As the days grew more, the struggle and anguish elevated. She was called to do some work that was plainly ridiculous. She was asked to bring salves and pastes, from the maester Gerard, who had no idea of the names of that paste. And he finally learned about it from various books he owned that it was something to apply on skin to not have any wrinkles formed. Made of honey, juices from exotic plants, placenta of lamb and even excrement of animals, which was even disgusting to think about, she and Maester Gerard sat together to prepare it for four long days, only to be thrown outside the window, when Irina gave it to Rhaenys.

“You came too late, bastard sister. I don’t have the need of it anymore. Andrik brought me this all the way from Lys.” Rhaenys said haughtily.

One evening, Rhaenys took all her ladies to show her silver dragon Meraxes, and when they reached its lair, her sister asked Irina to feed the dragon with lamb. Dragons were intelligent, her father had said once. But the rider controlled every aspect of a dragon. Fretting worriedly, if that would be her death day, Irina approached Meraxes with a dead lamb, and worse came worse, if Rhaenys tried to hurl fire ball on her, she decided to warg into the dragon, no matter what and save her own ass. But Meraxes was nothing like her sister... It ate belly full and stared at her for a long minute before withdrawing itself to the lair. The cooing, cuddling ladies who were ready to witness her death, were shocked and Rhaenys cursed Irina before she took off to sky.

If her egg hatched, she would never stay in the castle, Irina thought. She would never be Rhaenys’s handmaid, hearing to those surly comments.

_You are fit for nothing!... Gods, truly sent you as a shame to this house. Father has made you just like a donkey, with no use of its own. If you don’t improve your mediocre skills, then no man will want you. Which man will be ready to marry you, if you roll in mud like a pig in sty?_

By the end of a moon, her energy started drying. Her patience started withering out, unable to suffer to the turmoil. No one was listening to her. She didn’t have time to think about anyone else. It was so hard to keep a stiffened lip, when they mocked or chanted lines just echoing Rhaenys’s sour comments about her body, or her wit. In the stables, in the Great Hall, in the courtyard, they didn’t spare spitting vile japes, in front of the guards, stable boys, maids and servants. Not that everyone approved. Many condemned, but what could they do against Rhaenys. Sometimes, she observed Visenya simply stare at every commotion happening around Irina, and she wondered what the dark sister was plotting.

One fine evening, when she returned to the tower, she didn’t find Betha. She waited for almost two hours or so, and started searching for her friend. The wicked Ser Horas gave a grin that made her stomach twist and twirl.

“That tiny thing, my lady? Alas!! I don’t visit whorehouses to know what whores do at this hour. You see, once i had my way with her tight little cunt, she was asked to leave the castle. The lord doesn’t keep whores in-” Before he finished his words, she almost lunged on him, in so much fury that he was knocked down. Pushing his chest to the mud with her knees, she started punching his face, her strangled cry coming out in sobs. She couldn’t bear to think her friend was harmed. The thought shuddered her very existence. And the old man Paxter had to drag her from that filthy knight before she was about to kick him to death.

“Your sister asked for the girl and she went to meet with her.” Paxter screamed, and she ran, her legs hitting the back of her knees to Rhaenys’s solar, calling out Betha’s name so aloud, in panic, her limbs all frozen. Why would Rhaenys want to meet Betha? Whatever the reason could be, she wanted her friend to remain safe and see her being fine.

Instead of Betha or Rhaenys coming out, Aegon came with his crossed arms and she started spilling tears, saying unintelligible things that made little sense to herself. 

“Did you see Betha? That vile... man said... Betha is a... Where is she? Where-“

“Calm down, Irina.” Aegon pulled a chair for her to sit near the hearth, but she was already sobbing. Even if she herself failed a thousand times, she would raise again. But if she came to know she failed a poor girl under her protection, she couldn’t possibly live with that.

“Aegon!!! Did you see Betha?” She screamed, her throat tearing, and when he shook his head, she grew even more mad, until the door opened.

“And you asked me to train this mad girl into submission.” Rhaenys ridiculed, her hips swaying playfully, as she entered and behind her sister, frighten little Betha was standing, her brown eyes wide seeing Irina in a complete mess. Irina ran to hug the girl and only relieved when Betha assured she was safe and fine a hundred times.

“What matters did you have with my maid?” Irina seethed at Rhaenys.

“See for yourself, Aegon... Look at her!! Tell me, you really believe this... this thing could be actually changed. She doesn’t have any noble blood in her. At least see it for yourself. Have you heard any lady screaming at their liege lord and lady for no reasons?” Rhaenys gently tucked their brother’s hand, lying her head on his shoulder. Aegon looked disappointed. How could he not see what Rhaenys was doing? It didn’t matter to her. It didn’t matter who Aegon believed. She was not here to please either of them. Just as she pulled Betha’s wrist to the door, Rhaenys again shrilled. “On what rights, you are taking my maid to your service, now?”

“Your maid?...” Irina’s eyes almost bulged. “She is-“

“Betha is in my service from now. If you really need someone else, you can have Sybelle to help clean your chamber and other things.”

“You can’t do that... She is my friend.” Her eyes wandered to Aegon, who gave a long sigh before shaking his head and moving to the nearby table where wines and ales were kept.

“Yes... But an underpaid servant will always remain unhappy, sister. Learn your first lesson. I value her craftsmanship and when I paid her more, guess what your dear friend did.”

Irina choked on that raw feeling in her throat when Betha started shedding tears. Betha was brought... Irina’s hand slipped away from her friend, unable to believe. It was even more insulting when Aegon lifted a glass of wine and give a condescending look through the corner of his eyes. She was almost hearing his voice, telling, _‘I said you so’_ from the back of her head.

Betha didn’t utter a word, and her doe eyes were wet and red. Irina was angered by that betrayal. While she was crying and screaming in agony, worried over what might have happened to her dear friend, Betha simplyswitched sides. Irina’s head started pounding, feeling for a moment everything slipping out from her hand. The anger that she held for Betha vanished, and it hugged Irina’s own throat for being this naïve, stupid girl. 

“Rhaenys, take the girl and leave. Let me speak with our sister.” Aegon ordered, and Rhaenys left with Betha, laughing so loud seeing Irina’s swollen, wounded face. Irina didn’t even raise her head to see Betha. It was torturous and painful.

Rhaenys was shouting loudly. “That golden dress that you had stitched for my bastard sister... I want the exact same, redone. How many days will you... take to finish...?” 

Irina buried her face in her hands, swiping the tears, and Aegon slightly pushed that glass of wine on the table. He didn’t utter a word, and she was glad for that much. She warily walked towards him, and when she grabbed the glass, she gulped it all down, and played with the same glass for sometime, her mind reminiscing the torturous life. Perhaps she was the unfit one, as Rhaenys often told about. Her mother was a lowborn, not a noble lady. Could that be a reason?

One glass became two and three, and when she peered at Aegon to her side, she found him calm and composed, his fingers brushing his stubbled chin, his back sliding against the wall. She wanted to leave him be. He was the cause of it all. But the more she stayed seeing him, her tongue started working against her own wish.

“Are you not happy now? To see me fail every day? Rhaenys is in bliss...” She stuttered and had to blink her eyes before focusing on him. “She is taking everything from me. My dignity, my self-respect, even my friend...” Irina chuckled. “Oh, were you not the one to begin it? You took Vyl from my service and now Rhaenys took Betha. Look at me, I am left all alone.” Betha had promised her that she would never leave. _Had I given more gold, would she have stayed with me?_ But Irina had no access to treasury. Aegon paid for their service. How was she supposed to retain a maid, without having coins to pay?

Aegon sighed, his breathing came out long. “Go to your bed... and sleep well. I can’t waste my time to hear about your low born lovers.” 

“Rhaenys says, I am low born too... How do you not feel anything when someone says it a thousand times.” She nearly whispered, her shaking hand pouring another cup of wine, before he pried it away from her. “I am fine... Just this one more glass, and I will be able to sleep today. I am going to have a lot of long lonely nights, Aegon. Unlike you...” She chortled, amused of the ordeal. “Bedding one of the sisters every night. It must feel amazing to fuck all different cunts. A warrior woman one night, a beautiful maiden other night. But I am neither of them. Does it excites you to be with an ugly, fat, bastard born? A different flavor-“

He yanked the glass away and swirled her in his arms, before holding her chin tight. “You really are a piece of work. Aren’t you?” He glowered, his menacing eyes were examining her face, and she instinctually felt a want to prod at his anger. “I have no idea what to do with you, Irina. You keep me on the edge of my nerves.”

“I am glad I am able to keep someone...” She gave a sad smile and the next moment Aegon pulled her to his chest, giving her a long warm hug. All the days of anxiety, mixed with the drinks, came out as tears, so easily. “Will you leave me too?”

“Do you see me leaving you? After every little stunt you pull, I stand with you. Don’t I?” He asked, his fingers brushing her hair, and she nodded against his chest.

“I don’t fit in this place. I don’t fit with them.” When she confronted, Aegon simply hummed, pulling her out from his body. She didn’t want to come out, though. It was nice and warm to have him wrapped around her. She didn’t want to go to that lonely tower and cry her heart out for losing Betha. “Please, Aegon...”

“All I wanted was to have you closer to me. And you made me go thousands of feet away from the very first day, Irina. What should I do with you?”

“Give me something else. A rookery or a library or... helping a steward. Maester Gerard has a fondness for me too. I will learn and become useful. This is not where I fit….”

“Let me think about it. I don’t believe you can ever be in my control. You are fluctuating. Your anger... there is this madness in you. Minutes before you were raging... and now... What assurance you can give me?”

Irina knew he would refuse to accept anything, after what he had witnessed her doing for the past two moons. She had her own reasons, but he wouldn’t see it. If she only had the ability to convince him... A strong notion of wickedness ran through her blood and Irina clutched to Aegon’s leather tunic, remembering how Rhaenys seduced men. Would it work for her? Aegon gave a playful grin when she pulled him down and tiptoed to meet his lips. He was chuckling, making fun of her attempt to kiss, letting her make all the mistakes before he lifted her body to meet his height, and her legs wound around his midriff. Pining her with his own body, Aegon pushed her against the stone wall, and took command of that kiss, while his hand started blazing down her curved body, till it reached her ass. His splayed big hands started measuring her whole body, starting from her ass, to her tits, groping and kneading it, and his growls expressed the desperate ache to feel her skin, which was completely covered with a dress. He kissed her again, a passionate long one.

She squirmed and moaned into his mouth when his fingers started moving to the portion of her core. She felt weak and powerless before him. His thumb made a circle, and when wetness settled on her small cloth, she decided this was too much to bear. He could see her cheeks flare, her eyes shut close, her head leaning forward to get buried into his tunic. But she didn’t refute. Suddenly, she heard Aegon laughing, his eyes crinkling in amusement, lips pursed to not let out that complete fun he was having, to see her writhe under his arms. “Is this your pathetic way to seduce me into accepting what you want?” Her face fell down, all the wine slowly disappearing, and even in this she couldn’t win without getting caught. When Irina stopped responding, Aegon’s smile all vanished, and he lifted her chin, harshly. “Did you really try to seduce me, Irina?”

She bit her lips, unable to give away the truth. She started with that intention, but she got lost in his presence. Did that make her guilty?

“Aren’t you a conniving little bitch?” He seethed, making her flinch for the words. His eyes were furious, like he hadn’t expected that sort of behaviour from her. But what was she supposed to do? She opted for the only way to resolve her problems. It was easier.

“I am sorry. Its because of the drink-“

“So, you blame it all on wine, now? What about the slap that you gave me some days before? Was that a drunken stupor too?”

“No... It was no mistake of mine. I hated that you came to kiss me after fucking your wife. Don’t try to put all the blame on me. Just let me go, now.” She squirmed to get out. The wine made her feel more tired and weak, and that moment of passion turning into ashes was too much to insult for one night. Aegon grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her head back before he started assaulting her neck with his teeth and tongue.

“You don’t control me, Irina. That is not how this works. Do you understand?” He howled, and she held his arms so tight, nodding her head so fast, wondering if that would stop him from hurting her. But the day she had hit him, she knew this was coming. Perhaps that was why she ignored him for so many days. But she always knew. “Its me... I keep you at your place, which is right next to me.” He howled, forcing her eyes to be kept open and when she did, he had turned to be the monster she dreaded. 

Slowly the dreadness started dissipating. Eagerness to see what he would do, mounted on her drunken head. She didn’t know why she nodded, or why she even showed her shoulder, but she too wanted to feel the pain, perhaps. To feel herself have a hold on earth... to feel herself being with him... She pulled her floating hair to the other side of her shoulder and tilted her head.

Even Aegon was confounded, beyond belief that she was ready. One of his hand’s fingers were clutching into her lush hair, and another held her shoulder, while his lips traced for a perfect spot and he bit into her skin, slowly. The pain was not horrible, like the last time. Could any pain be horrible than what Betha did or what Rhaenys did every single day? The wine had helped reduce so much of it, making her capable enough to hold her cries. It was the after bite part that made her feel content. The way he swiped each drop of blood and sucked on her skin, like he loved every inch of her body, made her get drowned in his madness. He was a drowned man... in his own sorrows, which she never had time to know about. And when he faced her, his shaking voice had so much of guilt.

“You must think I am a monster for doing this to you.”

“I love the monster in you.” She whispered, her eyes gleaming with tears. He kissed her so longingly, his breath coming out helplessly, while his lips whispeer so many thousand apologies. “Let me go to my tower.”

“No! I want to be with you, today. I want you to...”

“Don’t fuck with my head, Aegon. I know you can’t do any of those with me. At least... not anymore, and not here. I’ll see myself out.” She jumped from his clutch and adjusted her pulled down dress before filling her hand with three flagons of wine. It would be a long bloody night, she knew. But the tears were dry in her eyes. She wasn’t going to shed anymore. Not for anyone else.

* * *

It was one fine evening when Rhaenys asked Irina to saddle the horses and wait by the gates. But she didn’t go to the gates, instead she sent the stable boy away and simply waited in the stables, believing her sister would make a mockery. Just like she thought, none of those ladies arrived for almost an hour.

When she was about to leave, Alarra Massey, the youngest daughter of Tristen Massey, one of Rhaenys’s beloved ladies came running to the stable, her eyes full of fright.

“Irina!” The girl called, her voice in agitation. She had been observing the girl ever since she started serving Rhaenys. The girl was a new addition to the group, and she laughed when everyone laughed, remained silent when everyone remained calm.

“When are the others coming?” Irina tried to pull the reins when the girl clung to Irina’s dress in panic.

“They are... I shouldn’t- Don’t tell to Lady Rhaenys... The girls are coming in two hours, maybe. They have a plan to...” She licked her lips before turning to all sides, carefully observing for any intruders. “Rhaenys had asked of us and I couldn’t keep it a secret.”

“Sorry, Alarra. I am not following you.”

“I don’t know what it is... Sometimes, they don’t tell me everything. Only that a man will meet you alone and... I heard he has some unfinished trade... to be done with you. Rhaenys asked us to leave you stranded near the East point shore and come to tell Lord Aegon that you fled the castle. She said nothing more.”

Irina didn’t understand a word the girl spoke. “Why are you telling me this? Did Rhaenys ask you to do this? If you lie, I will-“

“Trust me. I am just scared of what will happen to you. I never understood why they tease you so much. I am new to this castle, and my father often spoke about your father. When your lord father died, my father came all the way from Stonedance hearing the inheritance of the castle will go to you. After which Lady Visenya asked me to stay here, just in case-“

“Your father supported for me...” Irina remembered what Orys had once said about the few lords raising voices supporting her. The girl looked frightened, her molten brown eyes already tearing up. It should be for the fear of dragons. “Thank you for informing me.”

“I am here a prisoner too. Just thought of helping another one.” Alarra smiled, a genuine one.

“I am not a prisoner. I-” Irina couldn’t bring herself to let out the rest of the words. The whole world seemed to believe it, except herself.

“Anyway, I will be going. None of the guards will come, except Ser Horas, and he is Lady Rhaenys’s own guard. Be careful. Whatever you do, don’t take my name.”

Irina couldn’t in good sense understand who the man was or what unfinished business he had with her. She was locked in a tower for Gods knew how long. But then those cryptic resentments from Rhaenys was making sense. If Aegon knew she tried to escape this time, he would not just disown her but destroy her existence. Was that why she chose to opt for this path?

Her jay was always close to Rhaenys, most of the times. And when she warged into the bird, she observed Rhaenys taking flight in Meraxes to the sky. Never before Irina followed her dragon to chase the truth. Perhaps that was her mistake. She followed the white dragon which landed on the East point shore of Dragonstone. In her jay, Irina waited for that man who had vengeance against her, and when a tall, muscular man walked on the shore, she couldn’t figure out his face.

She had to fly so close to see him and even then... it took more than a minute for her to realize the person behind the skin. The ugly long red scar wound was horrific to recognize that face but the voice became more clear as she flew close. Good Gods...


	13. Monsters Everywhere

"So, what is the plan? How are you going to send her to Lys?" Rhaenys asked, her eyes darting to the boat that Terrance had come from. Irina could not even confirm if that was Terrance. His face was beyond recognizable. A long, ugly red gash ran from his forehead to mouth, making every twitch of his skin leave a disgusting swirl to her own stomach. His nose was cut half and all that glorious handsomeness that she had seen of his face had long gone.

" _Lys!_ It is a long journey, my lady. Didn't we settle on ending her life when you sought me for help?"

"No, we decided on sending her to Lys." Rhaenys seethed, her voice threatening. "I remember doing favors for you, just so you will settle on Lys."

Terrance laughed, the cleft in his lips revealing a horrid, sinister gaze. "Favours for me?!" He clucked his tongue. "You abandoned me after I came from Lys, almost losing my life in a war. And you speak about favours? If I predict right, I am doing you a favour for free, by getting rid of that bitch." His fingers swam up to her sister's lips, and he plucked it between his thumb and forefinger. "Unless... You are ready to make use of this sweet lips on my cock."

Rhaenys pushed him away, her face turning red and furious. "What do you think me of, Terrance? Your whore?... If you are incapable of doing this simple job, I can find a thousand men at my command to do the same."

"Yet, here we are... Let us agree that you need a discreet help, which will not bite in your ass when your brother starts tracing your bastard sister, when she disappears." He chuckled in a mocking tone. They both were fighting through their own stares and all the love-making noises that she had once heard from them were replaced for despise on both their ends. "Once I send her away, I want you in my bed, with your legs spread apart. I want to see that sweet smile and hear that husky moan you make when I enter you. If not, I will rip that bastard's cunt by raping her a thousand times, before I chop her body and throw in this very ocean. Don't play me fool, like you play with your brother. She will be kept safe as long as you keep your promise on your end. I lost everything now, my dragon lady... I can't lose you too."

When his fingers entwined Rhaenys's, her sister's face turned pale. Irina couldn't anymore stay there. She couldn't see them or listen to them, when her sister was plotting for a horrible death sentence. She rushed back to her own body, which was quivering without any control. Minutes passed by, and Irina gawked at the shaking hands down on her lap, which was slowly getting drenched by her own salty tears. _Raping... and killing? She is my own sister. We grew up in the same castle and as a child, I always wanted to become like her. Is it a crime for me to be born in this house?_

Rhaenys wanted her gone and Terrance would make sure to take the vengeance for what she did on the feast day. What was she supposed to do now? She could stop going to the East point and remain in the castle, which would save her life. But then, atleast she knew that there was a death plot to kill her was going on behind her back. If she let this slide by, every second she would live in anticipation of getting murdered by Rhaenys.

Her legs pulled herself towards the WindWyrm tower, and she ran... so fast, her mind repeating Terrance's words over and over. She thudded against something, her shoulder knocking a heavy metal, and before she fell to the ground, her wrist was caught by someone. She wanted it to be Aegon, so she could blurt out all the ugly truths of Rhaenys's secret life and get her punished. Controlling the unstoppable sobs when she looked to her side, Visenya helped her get straightened up. Of course, the Gods should be japing at her all the time, to send Visenya on her way. Of all people that she could have run into, Visenya was not who she wanted to see then.

"What has Rhaenys done this time?" Visenya asked, seeing her shaking body. Irina shook her head vehemently, trying to ignore and run away to save her head, but the Dark Sister's hold was so tight for her to push past. She couldn't determine if Visenya was also playing a part in the crime. Visenya was holding a missive in hand, with the seal of House Baratheon.

"Nothing... Let me go."

When Visenya's grip loosened, she fled from the place and locked herself inside the tower, and started pacing around like a cat. Aegon should have gone somewhere for Rhaenys to pull this act with courage. There was no point in seeking out for him now. And a disturbing voice was telling her to think about what Alarra Massey informed about her being held a prisoner, because the Lord Massey raised his concern about inheritance. She could deal with it later. Or... ask Aegon about the truth of it, if she survived to see another day.

Every thing would be better if she stayed locked up inside and waited for Aegon to return. And once he returned... she could confess everything.

_What am I even thinking? Even if I tell all the truth about Rhaenys, will he believe me and take my word?_

Aegon couldn't even figure out Rhaenys's indiscretion by himself. He remained blind to all of Rhaenys's tortures to Irina by always reiterating their sister was sweet and kind. Irina could wake a sleeping man, but how could she wake a man who was pretending to be asleep?

She cried like a child, wishing for her father to come back and protect her. But he wouldn't come now... Her mother wouldn't come, either. She had no one there to go for or call for help. Even Aegon... Marriage bonds go beyond what she and Aegon was having. Wasn't it? Aegon would never choose Irina.

_What life will I have, even if Aegon marries me? A life of a servant... to his wife. I don't want to be a servant. I am a dragon... I am a Targaryen... I am the same blood of Gaemon the Glorious, Daenys the Dreamer and Daemion, the rider of Cannibal. I am the blood of Old Valyria. I will fight her with all my power._

She wiped her tears and brought all her fifty birds that she bonded to the tower. She sent two of her dogs to the East point shore, and most of her birds to the same place to keep an eye on that monster. A few were placed on the trees along the path from castle to East Shore. She tied a golden dragon on the Merry and sent it to the ship bay near the West shore. The old man there, paddled a small boat that he frequently took to a nearby island on the lands of Westeros. He was one of the small folks she knew from her time from playing with them and she believed he would recognize her dog or atleast the golden dragon and wait for her.

By the time she winded up doing all the needed tasks, her door was knocked several times, and she knew the time had come. Warily when she opened, Ser Horas stood sliding against the door frame, his evil grin never leaving his face. "We have been waiting for you to come since an hour, my lady."

She hid her fear and her father's dagger as sincerely as she could. "Aren't you too dutiful, good Ser?" The mockery didn't set well to the man, and before he raised his voice, she moved past him. Taking him along would not be a wise choice and the moment she found old Paxter whetting his sword, she requested him to replace the horrid creature. Ser Horas almost threw a fit, over and over, insisting on coming along with them, but Paxter would take none of it. Somehow, the old man was sensing things happening around.

Along with the five girls, they began riding to the shore, and she kept reassuring her plans were intact. She couldn't go under the skin of her birds, while ahorse, but she was recollecting every single action of hers. And suddenly, just like that, she remembered the missive that Visenya was holding in her hand. The Baratheon sigil... Plucking her silver chain out from neck, that Aegon had presented, she searched for one of her birds looking all around that area. After ten minutes of searching, she found a parrot and when she whistled it came to her shoulder.

Four girls were frequently whispering on the way, probably plotting to leave her stranded without getting traced back. Paxter was spoiling their plan, after all. No matter what, the old man would not leave Irina alone, unlike Ser Horas. The silver chain had a crystal dragon pendant, and she hoped Orys would understand it was her message. Worse came worse, and if she was kidnapped, he would know she was seeking for help. Irina didn't know how much that would work. She hadn't seen Orys in months, after the incident in his holdfast. Probably he might curse her for often putting him in an uncomfortable position.

There truly was no one for her, else why wouldn't Orys come in all the four to five months and see her even once, if he was frequently communicating with Aegon through missives. She didn't want to delve in her own pathetic miseries now. She had to execute the plan properly, else she might end up dead and buried.

All of a sudden, Lady Jirelle Crabb cried. "My legs are hurting... Please..." The girl's breathing came in and out, like she was about to die and Irina would have found that all shocking had she never knew the truth. Her vicious heart wanted to hurt that little demon.

Looping her legs into the stirrups and resting her body on the horse's, she switched into Jirelle's horse and threw the wretched creature to the sand with one long shake. All the girls started screaming, and by the time Paxter came to pull the reins to control, Irina returned to her own body. They were all pathetic... and Jirelle finally cried for real this time. "Take me to the castle... Please... Oh! My hand is broken... and my leg…" The girl screamed and it was the sweetest melody she had heard in a while. When the old man asked everyone to return, the girl violently shook her head. "I don't want to spoil their adventure to sea on my behalf. Lady Rhaenys will be waiting for them all. Please, Ser..."

After a long time thinking, staring now and again at Irina, the old man accepted, reluctantly. "I will return once I ask the Maester to look after the lady. The East shore is closer, if you ride for another twenty minutes, you might find it."

Paxter was trying so hard to do the right thing. But he had to go, else he might get killed by Terrance or not let her kill Terrance. Once he left, the four girls became so silent, almost scared. Jirelle should have been the leading bully in their clan, and the girl getting hurt had made the rest more cowards. Had she known it before, she might have killed that Jirelle rather than breaking only her hand and leg. It didn't matter, now.

Once Paxter left with the girl, Lady Alarra came closer to Irina. "I thought you will stop Paxter from leaving. These girls are still planning to leave you stranded."

"You should leave..." Irina warned. "I am not coming back to the castle. I have run so many times whenever things become difficult and for the first time I feel a need to fight back. Let these girls die. They don't deserve to live anyway and run back to the safety of the castle."

"What are you saying? You will get killed..." The girl's green eyes were pleading. Had her life been like Rhaenys's, she could have been a good friend with the Massey girl. Perhaps all the ladies were as good as Alarra Massey and they did all this only to survive with Rhaenys. But Irina couldn't find it in her heart to forgive them all.

"Just leave Alarra. Ride your horse fast and do not look back." Her knuckles went white in fear of finding everything go wrong. Perhaps Irina should ride back too. What if Terrance got hold of her? Irina cleared her throat. "Aegon will come looking for me in a day or two. He will ask you what happened. Tell him some lies of how everyone perished in the ocean and you remained in the shore. Dont tell him, I am alive and left DragonStone. Will you do this one help for me?"

"Why will the girls die?" Alarra started crying, her chin quivering.

"Why should they live? They knew Rhaenys was planning to kill me. They are part of her crime, and I am the daughter of Lord Aerion Targaryen. Why should I forgive them?" She snapped at the girl, a fire inside her burning with all the strength of her body. "It is your choice... to stay and watch them die or flee and forget it ever happened."

The girl's jaw dropped, clearly re-valuating the decision of changing sides. Irina didn't have time on pondering about Alarra Massey's decisions. Sliding off from her horse, she made herself sit on the sand, before warging into all the three horses of those girls and violently throwing off them from their saddle. When they all started screaming and scattering towards different directions, understanding the mysterious circumstances, she heard Alarra Massey's horse's hooves sound as it run towards the direction of the castle carrying the lady.

Even as the three girls ran towards the direction of the shore, it didn't take much effort for Irina to round them three, going under Bale's and Hager's skin. She chased them till they became tired and desperate of life. Living shaded and protected for most of the time, those girls gave up fighting sooner, surrendering and Irina thought of tearing their skin to bits and pieces, through her dogs, but that was much cruel for any crime. Instead, she gathered them to her, barking and chasing. Alyssa Velaryon, Elinor Bar Emmon and Elinda, the steward's daughter, fell on their knees, all at once before Irina.

"We did nothing... Please, Irina. Don't let the dogs kill us." Elinda started confessing, crying aloud. "I am my father's only child and it was Lady Rhaenys... who asked…" Elinda wails were too sorrowful to hear. The rest of her companions remained mute, all too sudden and unbelievable for them to understand how they ended up getting caught. Irina didn't spare much pain for any of them. One slash to Elinda's throat was all it took to kill the girl. The other two screamed, tearing their hair, when Elinda's blood splattered on their face.

Irina thought it would be so burdensome to take a life. She thought she would break down, or faint once she saw blood, but she felt even more confident and powerful. Grabbing the hair of Alyssa Velaryon, she did an easy work, but it was not so easy when it came to Lady Elinor. The girl had run so far, fearing for life, and Irina had to warg inside Bale to bring the girl back, biting and tearing the girl's flesh in the process.

"I did not want to hurt you." Irina confessed, holding Elinor's chin. "I am punishing you for your crime. Why would you want to hurt me? What wrong did I do you?"

"Its your sister... Please... We didn't have a choice. Don't kill me. Please... I beg of you. I will not tell anyone what happened. I just... Let me live."

All the same, the blood dripped from Elinor's throat and Irina used her dogs to drag the bodies into the forest. She didn't want their floating bodies to come ashore, later, and get caught. There were a lot of animals hungry for a few pieces of meat and they would do close to a fine job in finishing them off. She had a bigger enemy to face. Terrance...

The sun almost began setting down when she reached a fine spot and spied on Terrance. Irina was careful to not get closer. Terrance was no little girl to grab his hair and shove the dagger to heart. He was tremendously built, with strong muscles, and if he even managed to kill her bird while she warged, she wouldn't be able to recover for a long time from the pain.

Warging into almost thirty birds one after another, she found something odd from the surrounding. Visibly there was nothing to feel ominous about but... she could feel the disturbance in air, in her bird's skin. Could Terrance have a bigger plot than what she was aware of?

"Stop it..." A voice came, and she found Rhaenys coming out from a tree, her hand all shaking. Her sister didn't seem to have left the place and Meraxes was not anywhere close. Would Rhaenys wanted to witness the raping and execution? It was all for good. Rhaenys had to die… "We will drop this, Terrance. Go home and forget everything. I was wrong… My father… He loved my sister. He will not… forgive me, if I do this. And…" Rhaenys voice was trembling. "I love my father… I have always loved him. Leave, Terrance."

Terrance seemed a little less shocked to find Rhaenys, but instead of answering he rose, whistling. Her bird saw some movements around and Irina saw men, armed and armoured, emerging out from hidden rocks, thick trees, like monsters lurking out in dark. Their hair was coloured, green, blue, and they didn't look like people from anywhere she knew around there in DragonStone.

"My plan was to first fuck your sister and throw her into the ocean and then later fuck you and take you to my place. But what matter who do I fuck first? Either way, I get the dragon lady." Terrance laughed like a madman. Did he turn out to be a madman after all? He grabbed Rhaenys's arms, and in response her sister gave a tight slap.

"Get lost, idiot! It was wrong of me to seek you in the first place."

Terrance was having none of it. He grabbed her hair and threw her to the ground. "I was your whore... Wasn't I? You took your pleasures when I served you, and now, I am too ugly for your taste? I remained unwed for you. My father disinherited me because I refused to marry. I had to flee places and face war, to become like this."

His voice was erratic now, and he was tearing his hair, screaming from the depth of his throat like a lost soul. Rhaenys was beyond terrified to see him turn out like that. If it were Irina, she would run with her legs hitting the back of her knees, and exactly when she thought of doing the same, she saw him undoing his breeches.

"You belong to me, dragon lady. I learned an ugly truth about you and your dragons during my stay in the East. You dragon lords are nothing without your dragons. And without Meraxes..." Terrance gave a sinister smile and lifted Rhaenys's skirt.

Her sister was fighting, pleading, cursing and begging, but Terrance would take none of it. Rhaenys was not even as strong as Irina. Her sister couldn't fight much when Terrance shoved his cock. Irina saw it all, unable to decide how she must react. It was supposed to be easy to choose between right and wrong. Wasn't it? Rhaenys was all wrong. How many times had Rhaenys hurt Irina, calling her a bastard? How many times, was Irina bullied, humiliated, and insulted in front of so many people? Rhaenys planned for this to happen to Irina. To get raped by this very monster and killed...

But she couldn't listen to her sister cry, sobbing like a child, pleading the scar-faced Terrance to not do that to her. When Rhaenys gave a loud scream wailing, Irina couldn't hear it. Perhaps Rhaenys deserved, after all. Had her sister never slept with Terrance...

 _No... No one deserved it._ With every thrust the man gave, Rhaenys gasped aloud, her life going in and out, but the fight stopped, and her sister closed her tear-filled eyes, probably not willing to live and feel anything. Irina warged into her own body. She thought of leaving the North Shore and take the boat that was waiting for her to take somewhere safe in the lands of Westeros. Irina just... couldn't do it.

She flew in her bald-eagle's body and plucked Terrance's eyeball with the strong beak. The taste was mushy, and slime, but it was a good food. When Terrance panicked and started attacking aimlessly, in air, she poked all over his face that blood started dripping from every part of his already-ghastly face, but he stopped harming Rhaenys.

When he started screaming, holding his empty eye-socket, Irina came back to her body, and ran towards Rhaenys. Everything went so out of plan and there were seven more armed men that Terrance seemed to have brought from Lys, just to take Rhaenys for himself. It could go all wrong, but she had no time to plot and plan. She ran so fast, and when she emerged out from the forest, Rhaenys was still crying and sobbing like a frightened little child. At that moment, Rhaenys looked just like Irina, when she used to go to bed after her mother had died, crying in fear.

Her heart instantly crunched seeing Rhaenys devastated. Didn't the three girls cry the same manner before Irina took their life? Why couldn't she feel sympathized with them as she was feeling for Rhaenys now? Could blood be thicker than water?

"We should leave… There are other monsters. Come with me." Irina dragged Rhaenys's arms and her sister struggled to rise while Terrance was roaming all around the shore, screaming in pain.

It was too late by the time they managed to move. Two men grabbed her elbows, dragging her towards the same place where her bald eagle had plucked Terrance's eyes out and another two grabbed Rhaenys's arms.

"I demand you to leave us both. You are standing in the land of dragons. My husband will burn you to ashes, if you do any harm to us." Rhaenys yelled, but without caring for any of her words, they helped Terrance to sit, slumping him against a tree.

"Kill that little bitch!" Terrance howled. "Bring her to me, now… I will rape her and throw her naked body on her brother's face, who rejected my hand for her. I did a kindness, and he rejected my proposal… Look at me, now." Terrance voice came out of agitation. "We only need Rhaenys, not that simpleton."

The seven men peered at each other silently, and one bulky man who appeared to be the alpha of the pack, his oily beard and long braid having little bells attached, walked closer to Terrance. He placed his arakh on Terrance's neck and spoke in a foreign language that Irina quite didn't catch it. But the rest of the men, who were different looking from him, laughed all the same for some joke that the braided man spoke and Terrance hollered.

"You savage cunts… I bought you all with my golden dragon. You serve me, not the other way around. If you mock me, I will not-"

The tall, braided warrior made a swift work and Terrance's head rolled down to sand, blood gushing out like pools of water, drenching the land. "He really did think we are serving him. Didn't he?" The blue bearded man who was holding Irina's elbow chuckled, and Irina eyes wandered to Rhaenys, her fear rising to her throat. Could she use birds to pluck all their eyes out as she had done for Terrance? She needed time to switch from one bird to another if she was going to hurt them all. And if they managed to kill her when warging… she would lose.

"My brother will give as many coins as you want. Leave us both, and we will bring all the wealth you need. We can forget any of these things ever happened."

"Ah, the little lady knows to speak." The blue-bearded guy gave a satisfying grin before measuring her from head to toe. "Coins are not what we want, my lady. We need dragons and your asshole companion just now admitted, you aren't a dragon-rider, like your sister. Are you?"

Oh, they were here to take Rhaenys… a dragon rider. But why would they need a dragon-rider? Whichever the case, they were eventually going to rape and kill Irina, because she wouldn't be useful to them, unlike Rhaenys.

The tall onyx eyed, bell-tinkling monster whispered something in his foreign tongue to the blue-beard and the man laughed. "We don't have a use of her. If you want to make her your bed-slave, it is your wish. We only need this Valyrian beauty." The blue-beard moved to Rhaenys, pulling her sister's chin to face him close and Rhaenys spat on his face.

"Do you really think you can take my dragon by arresting me? You are the stupidest lot I have seen." Rhaenys sneered.

"Qoro, take that little bitch right now, while I take this Valyrian bitch… and put her in place."

The shock of the moment dulled Irina's senses until she was shoved down, her shoulders getting the impact of the oily man's rough hands. Irina panicked, trying to get up, but she was overpowered easily. She was never frightened like she was at that moment. She cried, knowing the worst was going to come. None of her birds were strong enough to kill all the seven men, and she closed her eyes, hoping to warg, but she felt his thick hand roaming on her chest, grabbing one of her breast with his fist.

Throwing her body with all force, she shoved his hand away, and she started wailing like the girls who cried when she executed them. Perhaps it is their curse that was haunting her. When she shuffled herself away from him, he dragged her legs down just so easily and started undoing his breeches.

"Get away from me…" She thrashed her legs in air and gave all her spirit in fighting him off of her body. When she realized he would be soon violating her body, her head turned mad, the blood rush kicking in her system asking her to move fast, and she kicked and hollered at anything she came into contact. She didn't want to give up. This was something special that she thought of sharing with Aegon one day. Not like this… letting the monsters take away that special thing which belonged to her.

Her heavy punches to his chest grew strong and stronger with time and the amusement on his face started disappearing slowly, replaced by growing pain. He grimaced when she gave a blow to his jaw. In anger and spite, he slapped her hard. Her neck sprained as it turned to side. Telling something aggressive in his native tongue, he palmed her breast. "Slave…" He said in common tongue. "Beauty…" He clucked his tongue with a hideous grin.

Irina howled, all the madness in her lurching out, and threw her legs in air, before knocking his jaw in response, that the strong-built monster fell down and glided out of her. She instantly dragged herself out, and decided to run, until someone gave a fisted punch to her guts that all the air came knocking out from her lungs.

"Are you a real Dothraki warrior? You couldn't even fight this girl." The yellow-haired man spat while Irina was reeling down from the impact of the hit to her stomach and her head switched into darkness. She had switched skin, unknowingly, into the nearest hawk, and saw through the hawk's eyes, when the Dothraki stomped on her stomach, over and again. Irina didn't want to go back and feel herself molested, abused and raped.

The blue-beard was kinder with Rhaenys, if she could even give a term to those things. He didn't force Rhaenys; he was kissing Rhaenys like loving a maid, while two of his men held her sister's shoulders and started removing the dress, humiliating Rhaenys, first. The Dothraki was waiting for her to wake up, his toes, now and again, tapping on her cheeks, and Irina flew close to his face, hoping to pluck his eyes just how she did for Terrance.

But the man was always on alert, and he grabbed the hawk by the neck, squeezing it. She didn't want to die while inside the bird, and just when she came back to her body, coughing violently, she saw him holding the headless body of the hawk and threw it to his companions.

Her body was too weak to respond, when he hovered over her, with bristling anger. All she felt was his knees being pushed into her shoulder blades, that it started blinding her with pain, when he held her chin tight within his hand. She didn't know Dohraki language to understand what he was speaking, but she knew just enough that he was going to rape her and the rest of the men would do the same.

She should have gone to the North shore… A sweet, simple life would have been waiting for her, had she not decided to help Rhaenys!

The man leaned forward, pushing all his weight down on her shoulder. She couldn't make sense, for a moment, before he bought his stinking cock to her mouth.

"No..." She tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come out, with the way he held her mouth tight, his fingers almost breaking her jaw. He rubbed his length on her lips, and she roared from the depth of her throat. She could go away... She couldn't bear to experience it. He could do all he wanted with her body and she could come back after everything. She was not able to fight when his tip entered the gap, and she felt that salty taste on her tongue. It was disgusting. He reeked of stale, ugly things that she had never smelled before. Thrashing her legs, she resisted with the remaining of her strength, but that only made him force her more. She couldn't even bite him.

He moved up and down two more times, his ugly cock gagging her, when Irina heard barking noises all around. Two men fell down when dogs started lurching on them with force, biting their throat. Her dogs... Bale and Hager. Irina didn't even warg in them to guide but all it took was one cut to their throats and they were already whimpering and whining, falling to the ground, their eyes staring at Irina as lives started leaving their bodies.

She roared so loud, the pain of losing the best of her companions throughout her life starting to blind all the anguish she was enduring at that moment and, when she stared at the Dothraki, she felt different. Irina was not anymore in her body, nor in her birds or the dogs… but in the ugly man's filthy body.

He screamed in his tongue, his nails digging into his skin and scratching his face. He was fighting her... not allowing to get inside, but she fought back a thousand times strong. In fear and frustration, in panic and anger, he gauged one of his eyes and she reveled in feeling him undergo pain worse than death.

After a few minutes, forcing him to keep quiet, she took the arakh in hand and when few men came closer not properly understanding the situation; she started cutting them one after another. The Dothraki was strong, she would give him that. Even the sloppy moves she made, was a good match to those strange coloured men, who was beyond confused. She got many blows on arms and legs, but she let them hurt the Dothraki's body, knowing how it was affecting him from inside. Before even they realized what hit them, she killed all the four, saving the blue-beard for the last.

Slicing the blue-beard's vest and breeches one after another, making him naked, she scraped the pointy metal on his body from neck to his cock, giving him a long, slow death. To hear him begging to be killed was beyond the point of satisfaction.

She thought of chopping the Dothraki's body from being inside. She could put up with that pain only to feel him get hurt and scream from inside. A madness entered her head and wailing like a mad girl, she took the dagger from her lying body and chopped off the cock that he had put into her mouth.

Rhaenys was terrified, and the Dothraki was pleading in head, thrashing just like how she thrashed moments before.

"We can go home." She said to Rhaenys from being inside the Dothraki's body.

"Don't come... Don't come near me." Rhaenys yelled not realizing it was Irina inside. Well, not fully. The man was fighting inside, trying to push past her, but she wouldn't give up.

Irina extended an arm... and just like that a terrible pain washed all over her strength, the Valyrian heat burning inside her blood, boiling it and the next moment when she woke up in her own body, she gagged, retching almost everything from her stomach. This was hardest of all... to get killed while skin changing and her head went into a state of darkness, before she heard Visenya's voice.

"Who the fuck is responsible for all this?"

She didn't answer, neither did Rhaenys. It was too painful, like her heart being ripped into many pieces and thrown into boiling volcanoes. A blank state of mind was all she could live in, unable to hear or speak anything further. And the last time she closed her eyes, she knew she would never go back to being the same girl. Something left her… or was taken from her… and she didn't know what it was. She just missed it and yearned to keep it safe, if it was given another time.


	14. Wielding Powers

The chill air had the mixed odor of concoctions and pastes, and Irina could sense it all. Even while not being fully awake, she could feel in her bones of everything that happened around. Her bruises were picked and prodded several times by the Maester, his boney fingers shaking as he carried on his duty. The wind blowing from the window was biting her swollen bruises, of her bare body which was laid on the hard ironwood, only a silk cloth beneath to give some comfort, which was hard to get unfelt.

She had kicked at the Maester's face and hurled curses for making her bare, but he wouldn't stop touching her torso, nor would he stop instructing her to relax. A thousand eyes could be watching her naked shame, for all she knew. Visenya had pinned her down to bed, the last time when the Maester pushed her dislocated shoulder joint into its socket, and her whole body slithered in agony as it was subjected to yet another torment.

Irina had begged them to stop hurting her or to stop coming close, but they wouldn't. Instead, they shoved milk of the poppy down her throat and numbed down any responses she would give for their cruel treatment. The poppy milk was not enough to alleviate any pain, but if the pain was too much to bear, she would switch skin and lived inside Merry, as long as she wished, not wanting to go back into her spoilt body anymore.

But then… mourning with Merry for its lost brother and sister was even more suffocating, and Irina preferred to come back to her rotten self rather than to mourn again. _I have mourned for everyone… Now, it's time to mourn for myself._

"How worse is her condition?" She heard Visenya's voice, merely a thick hissing, dangling in the air. "Will she… survive?"

"I have fixed the shoulder joints." The maester answered, his delicate voice already beginning to give up. "It is the stomach I worry about. She doesn't eat anything and whatever is fed, she throws up with blood. If there is any bleeding from inside her abdomen, then I cannot assure for Lady Irina's life… Send a missive to your brother, my lady."

Irina felt somewhat at peace when she drowsed to sleep and the thought of death cradled her wounded heart a little. Lord Aerion had always pleaded for a peaceful death in his last days, and she never understood why, then. She had been cross with him, for planning to leave her alone. Now, though, she understood mercy.

The Gods were not kind to offer mercy and end her life for once and for all, though. They already gave her another chance in which even if she died, she would go into her dog or her bald eagle, the closest one at that time. Would that life be less cruel? Her mother was no more there inside the Kookaburra, it was merely a bird with feathers. Would she disappear like that too?

When she regained some energy, she found herself lying on a feather bed. This one was softer than the one in her own chamber... more like made of several thousand layers of geese feathers. That was not her tower, nor was her own feather-bed, but rather a grim place, she thought, for every time she opened her eyes, it remained dark and murky.

She could cry aloud in her own stone walls, and no one would hear, unlike this strange seclusion, where she was not allowed to open her eyes or speak a word unless she wanted to use the pot-chamber in her drowsy state of awareness, after which they would drug her to slumber.

Irina didn't want to live in that half-slumber, hearing voices - no... not voices, they are more like noises, thick whispers which was too difficult to grasp and process - yet she could do not move her useless body. She sobbed every time she thought of her body, and someone would hold her hand, fingers clasped and entwined. _That was a comfort._ Someone was always there... at night or whatever that time was… She couldn't clearly know what time she lived, or who brought food or who helped her to the pot chamber, or who sat next to her, for the chamber was black as night all the time.

_Is this my new prison, now?_

She would have laughed, if her jaw didn't hurt, or her parched throat didn't crave for some liquid. Her whole life was defined in one or the other form of prison. She stopped caring about it with time, and she liked this prison better. It felt safer. _If I am locked, no one can come inside, either._

Finally, her eyes started adjusting to the gloom of the chambers with time. And so did she start gaining consciousness, but even if she tried to move, her shoulders wouldn't budge. A sling was tied across her chest, for the right hand, although the other hand was movable, it didn't sway without pain. When light peeked between the crevice of the door's opening, giving her some hope of getting out, a gray-haired maid entered, to assist her in eating, cleaning, and dressing up. But when the grey-haired maid tried to touch her small clothes in hopes of aiding Irina in relieving, she shooed away the help. Irina could help herself now, how much ever painful it would be.

It took an hour for her to simply move, sagging against the stone wall, gasping and shrieking in pain, the effect of poppy slowly dissipating and showing its true colors, but she did all by herself. The maid left her alone, and Irina wondered what the maid thought about her. It was shameful to imagine what would go on in their head. Would they see her as an impure person — something dirty? Even if they think, would it be wrong, after all that was what the monsters made her to be? She cried, burying her head inside those soft pillows, hiding and screaming at her stupidity for going to that place. If she had a chance, one _slight chance_ , again... just _once_ , she would go back there and undo everything.

_Would that she could!_

"You haven't touched the soup!" Visenya almost startled her at the end of that day. Irina didn't even notice her sister enter the dark ironwood door. "You have been living on honey-water for these three days. Drink some of this soup." Visenya pushed the bowl with her elegant fingers.

If it was that gray-haired maid, Irina would have remained unbothered, doing what she was doing, which was mostly nothing other than staring at a mud pot that was placed in that almost empty chamber, with a purple orchid in it. But, it was Visenya... so, Irina blinked her eyes, before returning to do the same, continuing the flower watching...

Her sister waited for a minute, probably expecting for Irina to respond, but she had nothing to say. Her heart and mind were empty, and her body was in agony. No amount of words would change any of it.

"Aegon will be here at any day and before that, we need to speak," Visenya stated, pulling a chair to sit close by. She was waiting for him to return too. Although Irina had no idea why she wanted him to come, she just hoped he would be there now. "What have you planned to tell him?"

Irina blinked several times before deciding to settle on the weight of the question. This should be another of their games, which she was not interested in playing. "Truth, Visenya."

"And whose truth will it be?"

"Does truth have different designs?" Irina hollered, but she decided to control her anger. "I don't care anymore of what you both plot. If you want me dead, kill me and get over it. But I will say everything. About Rhaenys and her lover, and her preposterous plan to kill me, which ended up in me getting harassed by that savage. Every single thing I know of…"

"If I wanted you dead, all I should have done is to slit your throat in that shore as you had done to those girls." Visenya blurted before she rose from the chair and pushed open a window, making the gush of sunlight fall on her face, straight and blinding her vision.

Irina almost forgot something. No, she had forgotten so many things. Shouldn't Visenya be feeling surprised about Rhaenys's indiscretion? And those girls… So, Visenya should be knowing everything that had happened. "Are you trying to intimidate me, Visenya? I must warn you that I am past all of your intimidations. Those girls deserved that death, and I gave them my judgment as just as our father would have given."

"How kind of you, little sister?" Visenya gave a mocking chortle. "I don't remember you becoming the Lord of Dragonstone to impart judgments on noble ladies. Besides, every noble has the right to a trial, which you deprived them of. Do you know what situation you have put our house in?"

"Trial?" Irina would have scoffed if her jaw was not hurting. "Your sister plotted in murdering me with those girls. Would you have given Rhaenys a trial if I was murdered as she had planned?" Visenya simply stared without an answer. "I thought so… Don't educate me about fair trials. I can't wait for Aegon to come and behead that bitch…"

"As preposterous as Rhaenys was, you are no brighter sun." Visenya mocked with a chuckle. "Sure… Go and tell Aegon of Rhaenys's plots. I can't wait to see him drag you to the block and behead you before you finish your last word."

"He won't…" Irina said with determination. "He will never execute me. You don't know everything, either. He loves-"

"No… You love him." Visenya finished cutting her off in between. The way the words came plunged like a knife to Irina's heart. "And Aegon loves Rhaenys. He will always love her."

"I don't care!" She screamed while feeling the tears slide down. Why did it hurt more than the wounds on her broken body? Didn't she know it all along? "I need justice. If he won't give, then I will take it for myself. Look at me!" She whined like a wounded dog. "All I wanted was to live, happily. Look what she has done to me."

"You did this to yourself, Irina. I heard it all from Rhaenys and I still don't understand why you ran to help her, but this… is all on you. " Irina could have sworn her anger peaked enough to strangle Visenya if she had the strength in her arms to move. Hearing about that day only made her remember what that monster did to her. "Whatever Rhaenys thought of doing to you, fell upon her head and while she will be fixing her mistakes, I want you to recuperate and remain silent when Aegon comes."

"I won't…" She sobbed, bringing her palms to her face. "I am done with this family and whether he listens to me or not, I am leaving. You three can do anything you-"

"Leave, where?" Visenya's voice rustled. "I am fixing all the mess you both have done. You killed Alyssa Valeryon, my cousin - Damon's sister, by slitting her throat. When he comes to collect her body, I should look into his eyes and lie. Our steward's only daughter is dead, and he doesn't believe it was those Pentoshi's doing. The man has been blaming you and your dogs. When the news leaks out, no matter how many dragons we have, these lords will come with their fleets and army for avenging their sweet daughter and sister. Answer me, Irina, did the girls really deserve to die? Did you even think of the consequences of your actions? Oh, wait. I realize now that you never cared because you decided to put this house at risk and run away to West. Didn't you? When have you ever behaved responsibly as you should be? What have you done for this house?"

Crying helped her in nothing but that was all she could do. "I did everything that father asked of me. How much ever it hurt, I did all that Aegon asked of me. Why would you say-"

"They both were fools…" Visenya screeched. "Nothing what they asked of you, benefitted this house but themselves. Irina… I warned you once to leave this castle, and you scorned me by mentioning the rights that father gave you. Do you remember?"

Irina wondered when that had happened. She rarely spoke with Visenya, except for the time when she fell from the cliff to avoid being burned by Vhagar. And after that… Oh, it was sometime before leaving to Orys's holdfast, when she brought up the matter of inheritance to spite Visenya.

"You hold no power here and your time has run out. You are neither Aegon's wife nor the daughter of the Lord of Dragonstone. Your mother is not from a noble house for you to wield any power here."

"I said I will leave from here. Didn't I?" Irina howled.

"That is the problem which you are not seeing. You have no choice in deciding what you should do. It's going to be Aegon's, all the time, and if I anticipate right… he will never let you move your finger without his permission, which is exactly what I would do in his place."

Her head started pounding. What was this all about? "Do you want me to leave or not? If you think you can threaten me to kill, then I am not scared of it either."

"But I am… scared of your death." Visenya gripped the edge of the feather bed. "The birds and dogs… huh? You fooled us very well, sister. But no more… I didn't give up everything in my life, just so you can scoop it all in the end and destroy my dreams. You decide what you have to say to Aegon when he comes. If you truly trust he is going to believe every word of yours, tell him about Rhaenys, and her silly plans. I will be least affected by any of that. But if you don't, then repeat what I am about to say."

Oh, this part she understood, and she knew exactly what she was going to choose. There was no point in killing those girls if Rhaenys was going to go unpunished. Still, some strangeness that lay beneath her heart yelled at her to listen to Visenya. Beginning from Rhaenys's indiscretion to the love Irina held for Aegon was bare before her big sister. Now, she even learned about Irina's warging skills. If she knew everything… "Why should I even choose to listen to you, Visenya?"

"You have no other options, sister. Think wise and decide. I won't be running to rescue you every time you mess up again. For once, open your eyes and see what is happening around you."

* * *

Two more days passed for her to move normally, after all, her legs were fine. Her shoulder ache relieved greatly and the Maester came every morning and evening with his poppy milk, but she denied how much ever negligible quantity he gave. Pain made her feel alive, partly, and it kept her from going insane.

She thought she would go back to normal, the old self, when life had only two colors, black and white, pleasure and pain, joy and sadness, strength and weakness. Now, it was all blurred, but she understood it better, or at least she tried to…

No… She was raging mad, when at night, while sleeping, she saw herself beneath that Dothraki screamer, unable to get rid of the lasting memory in her tongue of his meat's stale taste, or the way he smelled, the oil… Irina had punished him, though. He had begged her from inside when she had skin changed. It was all she could do to convince herself every time she remembered him. She would sob sometimes, and there was always this warm hand enveloping hers at night, and this small comfort was assuring her a moment's peace.

_Is Rhaenys lying beneath layers of quilts, so shamed to expose the barest of her skin to cold air, in fear, or seeking the comfort of anything thicker around her body to protect that missing piece, like me?_

Irina wished to believe her sister endured the same, knowing very well of her vile feelings. _Had I never gone to help Rhaenys…_ The thought kept bouncing in her head, the beautiful visions of herself swimming in a lake, chasing her three dogs, a smile on her lips, unerased, undisturbed, beautiful… but now everything melted like a morning fog to the rising sun.

_"MOVE ASIDE_ , Visenya!"

The male voice made her jump from bed, and her injured arm, even in its painful state, was lurching to hold something, a rush pushing her to act fast. The only thing that she was able to lay a hand on was a tome, too heavy for her bruised shoulder, but she dragged it all the same - _just for_ \- her assurance.

Aegon entered, followed by Visenya, and only then she was able to let out the breath she held in. His eyes bulged upon seeing her battered body, the shock evident with the way his face flared red, the skin on his jaw starting to stretch tight till the nerves started popping along his neck. All the more it made her feel like a pitiful being to whom some greatest violence happened. If at all such pity should be offered, then it should be given for Rhaenys… not for Irina. But he would never know what happened to Rhaenys, and they were clever enough to hide the truth from him unless she would decide to admit.

"You told me, it was a slight mishap…" Aegon fumed at Visenya, and threw her sister's arm away which was trying to hold him still.

"Come with me, I will tell you, everything. Let her rest!" Visenya coerced, but Aegon had no ears for Visenya. How much of what happened did he know about? Irina wondered whether he would ask about the girls who she executed or about Rhaenys but he did neither, when he kneeled on the bed, taking her soft-face gently in the flesh of his big palms. She flinched when the burning sensation of her purple bruises on the face came in contact with his skin and she withdrew herself away from him.

His face fell down, a melancholy masking his anger, and out of nowhere tears started spilling effortlessly from her eyes. She was not crying for not being able to bear the pain or feeling insecure. She cried because she just… couldn't stand to see him pity her.

"Don't pity me." She muttered in anguish before turning away.

"Irina! I did not… Show me-"

"I need to rest." She snapped, preferring to lie down than to face him. He was rousing her temper rather than comforting. Although a part of her believed he was feeling her pain, it felt too foreign to let him see her this way. He didn't leave and the weight on the feather bed dipped still, but she denied facing him. Seeing him only reminded of what she lost… her dignity to some savage barbarian.

"Where is the Maester?" He shrilled, voice thick and raw.

"I have called for him. He must be on his way." Visenya answered.

_"He must be on his way?"_ Aegon roared, and Irina's heart almost jumped hearing him growl in madness. "Why the fuck is he roosting in his rookery? He should be present here… next to her, tending her."

"Calm down, Aegon. She is not dying anytime soon for you to-"

A thunderous clang emerged against the shell of that chamber and Irina instantly gathered herself on the bed, searching for the source of that noise. It was a wooden cupboard, that was once filled with so many glass bottles, which was pushed down to the stone floor, and glass shreds and wooden slabs were splattered all around in its wake, by Aegon's anger. Where Aegon stood, the carpet started drenching with blood that was dripping down his hand which was the only noise that emerged from the silent chamber for a long while as Visenya stared at Aegon in astonishment. "Don't utter another word." He warned.

Even while Visenya was bothered by eliciting such a reaction from Aegon, her sister remained calm. "I will see what the Maester is up to."

"Aegon! What is this?…" She called worriedly. "Your hand is bloody and you have-" Irina felt sad. But she felt more drawn when he rushed to her bed again. But this time his rage disappeared and was replaced with sorrow in its place. He pulled her to his chest, his bloody hand drenching her shift, but he was shaking, mad with rage and anger, while she hid inside the warmth of his cave. His hand was examining the sling on her hand, so delicate, and only then the Maester entered and started describing what had happened.

"The shoulder joint was dislocated, my lord, and I had to set it back…" The Maester went on to describe every part of her damaged body and she tried her best to not hear everything. It was like reliving the same pain, but now, there was Aegon beside her, holding her and not letting her go. "The lady is past danger for life, my lord." The Maester said, in his confident voice. "If I may tell… something…"

"Go on. Do you need me to bring any potions or pastes from anywhere-"

"No, my lord. The lady's abdomen has not bled again, which is a good sign. Had it been, she would have passed away before you got a chance to meet. The lady is a maid and with Lady Visenya's instruction, when I checked for her maidenhead, it remained intact." Irina started howling, her heart all but shrinking, unable to believe they would do that examination without her permission.

"Is a demon dancing on your head, Visenya?" Aegon screamed. "Or did you lose your sense in your metal chains, Maester?" He simmered, his hand pushing her close to his heart, tight and tighter.

"We had to know if she was hurt there. The Maester is just stating all of his assessments. You don't have to rage with us, for this." Visenya replied calmly. Irina believed that was the truth, indeed. Rhaenys was raped and Visenya wouldn't bother to check such trivial things when she already knew there was someone damaged already. Still… they should have gotten her permission. When heated arguments burst from both the ends, Irina held Aegon's bloody hand.

"I want to rest, alone and I don't want to live again, with the same pain. Please… Give me some space."

He instantly withdrew arguing, and held her close for a while, until she herself slipped away from his grasp and rested on the bed waiting for him to leave her. It took a long while, but when she heard the door open and shut assuring her that he left for sure to express anything to the empty chamber which was when she muffled all her angered cries into the pillow. The anger was not directed at Aegon, she knew, but she couldn't direct at anyone else.

Father would have never let this happen to her. It was all Aegon's mistake, to lock her… and send her as a servant to Rhaenys. Had he not done that…

She blamed everyone that day. Rhaenys, Aegon, her father, her mother, and even Visenya… for killing that Dothraki screamer and stealing away her vengeance, for asking her to choose something that she didn't want to, but at night, she blamed herself.

It was on the same night when she screamed again as the pain of the dark memory started to haunt her, but rather than getting comforted by fingers that used to latch into hers, she was confronted with the warm hug of her brother, which she sensed with the soot and ember smell that filled her nostrils when he pulled her delicate body into his chest, cradling her in his arms. "Don't fear. I am here right next to you." His whispers made her cry even more, and she clung to his vest when those words gave her some strange sort of comfort. "Gods, you are shaking. Come here!"

She peeled her eyes open as her body was gently lifted in his arms and carried towards the hearth, all the while even his bandaged hand was too careful to not hurt her. When he placed her on the carpet, though, she curled into him even tighter and he started feathering her hair like he always used to do. "Don't… leave." She whispered feebly.

"I am not leaving you. Look at me!" He pulled her chin forcing her to face him, and she sobbed, the shame of it all eating her up and he held her tight in his embrace, allowing her tears to wet all over his chest. She thought his presence would make her feel even more damaged than what they had done, and in a way she was still ashamed, but when his chest rose and fell along with her, a strangling sound coming out of his throat, she knew he was suffering for her… and with her. "I failed, Irina, and I will never leave you… ever again."

She didn't respond. There was no one in the world that could have stopped her from getting hurt. She learned it the hard way, but the world was cruel and evil. Her brother could not protect her.

He pushed the wooden logs into the fire of the hearth, assisting it to dance more fiercely than before. When the red flame-licked on a new log, it stuck to the dry barks so rapidly that she thought there was a baby dragon inside to help the process. It was beautiful. The fire and its dance was all she saw, until he dragged her to his lap, his fingers starting to examine her wounds, starting from her cheeks which had bruised black the last time she checked herself in the reflection glass.

"Visenya said you and Rhaenys's ladies were ambushed by the Pentoshi's." He stated. "What happened, Irina?"

Irina swallowed, her heart pleading to admit everything, tell all of Rhaenys's cruelty, and bring justice. "Rhaenys asked us to come to the East shore."

" I heard. She said she forgot to inform you and the girls not to go. Gods… She has been crying the whole day and praying for your recovery." He answered softly, winding her fingers into his. "She has been crying ever since I came, and regrets of failing to protect you. So do I." Holding her cheeks, he rested his forehead against hers. Rhaenys should be crying for herself, and her sister was clever enough to seek asylum in the Sept, clever enough to not fight while getting raped, so no one would bat an eye in her direction. But how could Aegon believe every lie that came from her sister's mouth? "The Maester said, you are past danger and nothing will happen to you."

"Do you trust Rhaenys's words?"

She had to know if what Visenya said was true. It couldn't be. If he never cared for Irina, he wouldn't be beating his hand bloody or wetting his eyes in anger. "Of course. She hadn't slept in days and she said she feels shameful to look at your face." More like shamed to face the truth, Irina thought to herself. But they raped Rhaenys, and it was all for naught when Irina had gone to rescue her sister. "I will speak with Rhaenys on the morrow, to meet you, and assist you. I worry about your recovery, Irina. Will you tell me what they did to you?"

Had his voice didn't stammer, holding her, expressing the regret of his failure, she would have never admitted. No one knew what they did. She doubted even if Rhaenys knew. "The Dothraki… He-" She swallowed the feeling in her mouth, remembering the taste again. "He inserted his cock into my mouth and…" She started sobbing, closing her eyes, unable to see him look down upon her. "I fought, Aegon… I thought I could escape but he was strong… stronger and he kicked…"

"Oh, no, no, sister. Don't cry, please… You are strong. You are stronger than anyone." When she saw a tear sliding down his cheek, she gasped aloud, all those strange comforts soothing her. He held her tight and kept her warm inside his chest while rubbing her back so gently. "When I bring fire and blood upon those slave mongers, you will know I have avenged you, Irina."

He kissed all over her face, his thumb rubbing her chin, when he said those words. "You don't even know who sent them."

"I will track. And I will let them know what it is to touch a dragon."

She sighed, the feeling of war turning her stomach. Would it all be worth it? "They wanted dragons, I suppose. They were searching for a dragon-rider." She swore she wanted to spill everything about Rhaenys. But she was past it. Aegon might not execute Irina as Visenya promised, but he would not take the information easily, nor would he accept. "I did not spare them though. I skin-changed into the Dothraki's body and had cut his cock and the rest of his companions. Did you see his body?" The fire that danced in the logs started dancing in her eyes when she met his purple orbs. "I wish Visenya never came and killed him. I wanted to see him roam as a cripple and a eunuch in our castle."

He gave a hint of a smile, not the one in happiness, but there was pride laced in it. She fought, after all. It was all fine until he began to lift her bloody shift. She instantly jumped and withdrew herself from him. Her eyes and cheeks flared, the anger of being touched unaware in the same spot where the monster had kicked and stomped her several times, and the shame of it all made her tears of anger.

"Let me take a look at the bruises there at your stomach."

"That bastard kicked me there. You can't see me… You can't see any of me. I am-" It was hell as damn difficult to suppress the sobs, but she managed to speak. "-ugly… for real this time. And- I will feel better if you will not touch me. Please…"

She didn't understand the reason for her anger, but at that moment, her heart throbbed in spite and distaste, when he came a little close trying to cover that distance between them. "I rina, you have nothing to hide from me. You belong to me, sister. If someone hurts your body, I need to know. I can't bear the thought-"

"You have no right to touch me, now or ever. And I don't belong to you." She seethed, her chin quivering, the harsh words of Visenya's ringing in her ear. "I am not your wife, Aegon. Begone, now. I rather will prefer to sleep alone, instead of letting another woman's husband touch me."

His face fell like he was beaten up just as her wounded body, but somewhere she felt fortunate in hurting him. "Don't push me away, now, sister."

She raised her left hand in the air, and her own chest curled a bit of what she was about to say, but she had to do it. There was no way she would let another man touch her again. Her body was damaged, and no one would like her. She herself didn't like it. "There is nothing you could do, which will make me feel better. None of what you have done has made me feel better. Had you not asked me to serve Rhaenys-"

"Of all the things you could say, should you bring Rhaenys now, who is praying for your health in the Sept?"

Irina pressed her lips tight, unable to hold her fury at heart. At least then she finally came to face the truth of what Visenya warned. _Aegon loves Rhaenys. He will always love her._ Irina started disassociating from presence at that moment. "Leave, Aegon. What are you waiting for? Perhaps you should take Rhaenys with you on your war in the East. She will want to avenge her little sister."

The irony of it all made her chuckle, but Aegon didn't seem to share the same thoughts as Irina. He tried to come close, but she refused to accept that embrace, feeling so hurtful of facing the truth. The truth that, no matter what, even if she was going to be killed, Aegon would always love Rhaenys. Then why, in the first place, was he trying to get intimate with her?

She made herself into a ball as she laid in front of the fireplace, her eyes and heart beginning to enjoy the dance of flames for the rest of the night. Even when she knew he gawked and stared at her for the most part of the night, she refused to face him. Before he left, though, he covered her bloody shift with his black scaled shirt around her shoulder and a teardrop started sliding down her cheek, hearing his boots exit the chamber.

She hated herself for being such a vulnerable idiot all this time. Visenya was right by every word. Irina had no power in this castle and she had to ask permission for even waving her small finger. She didn't want to go back there. She wanted power, everything that her siblings possessed, and she would grab it at any chance.


	15. A Battle of Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know if this has come good. I have put perspectives in plot and some character development. I lost my original chapter and wrote this again which is completely different. Let me know if you liked this.

Standing before the tall reflection glass that was carelessly left at the corner of that immaculate chamber, Irina sighed looking at her ill-fit dress, which hung loose everywhere around the curves of her body. After her horrendous adventure in the wild with Orys, a year or so ago, she had never thought her weight would drop in the count of stones like this, where the sleeves of her dress were slipping off from her shoulder. Gaunt face with hollow eyes stared back at her, and somewhere deep down her heart, she couldn’t look at herself in the mirror. This was someone else. The Maester said it was the stress and the process of healing would always take something away.

It took something away, that much was true, and she would have been happy if her flesh was the only thing that she had lost in the process. She ran her fingers across the face, the tiny boney sticks trying to trace the supple skin along her cheeks to get a momentum while reeling in the presence. She wished to hold the reins on controlling her own fucked up head to feel control over her emotions that was splayed everywhere. “Just get past this day!! Focus!!” She whispered hollowly to herself, letting out a long sigh not to look back at the past or worry about the future, and prepared to spend another day, in that empty chamber, which she happened to learn it to be Visenya’s.

Even as a child, she had never entered for the fear of getting cursed, so she had no idea that this prison belonged to her sister’s. Even bigger than her father’s solar, no… Aegon’s solar — now that he was the Lord, Visenya held the vastest space, but it was mostly empty. It appeared more like an architectural spectacle that deserved to be admired but not fit for living. Apart from the reflective glass, the chamber had no amenities required for a lady to enhance their beauty. Not that Visenya would require anything to be enhanced.

Rather, the walls were bedecked with random words from the Valyrian tongue that Irina warned herself not to spell out, suspecting it to be some sort of cursed magic. Apart from the broken wooden cupboard, curtsey of Aegon’s wrath, which had held numerous tiny bottles which should have been filled with some potions, there was nothing else other than the bed, the hulky tome that she became fond of reading in her time inside and the purple orchid.

In fact, had she ever managed to sneak into this chamber, as a child, as she had always desired, she was sure she would have died of a stroke seeing the state of it. No wonder Aegon never visited Visenya’s chamber. The awful darkness gave chills down from the top of her head to feet. The purple orchid that was in an old pot that never died, even when no one watered. The locked ironwood door wouldn’t budge even if Aegon would thrash it madly at night although there was no latch from inside at all, which was the only reason she preferred to stay in this chamber rather than switch to her isolated tower, even though she knew every illusion here was a result of some strange magic. Even her birds refused to come by the porch even if Irina tried with zeal to enter, they would refuse, screeching and fluttering their wings in the air. They didn’t like it here… even at times, she was desperate to get out, her own fucked up head screaming her to instinctively run away from danger, as though the chamber was consuming her soul, burning through her heart.

She stayed only to never come across Aegon’s path. The thought of Aegon kept her anxiety burst beyond the limit. Avoiding him staying in the same castle was damn difficult, but that was the only thing she had asked of Visenya to help with when her sister had asked if she was in need of any support. “ _Never let him in! Don’t let anyone in”,_ Irina had said. Feeling tremendously safe inside the bubbled chambers and having no urgency to step outside in the past two weeks had kept her more safe and sane. Not that Aegon left her alone after she had shunned him away. He came every single night to visit her, probably hoping to comfort her, speaking to the door, and although she managed not to let the sound of a whisper out, she heard everything that he uttered to the empty night.

There would be desperation in his voice, a troubled guilt every single time he spoke, of how he failed in protecting her. He often recited how he failed to do his duty, which was to protect his family. Irina assumed he meant it in a brotherly love or duty as he preferred to address. Not that it made her uncomfortable. He was indeed feeling desperate to reach out to her. And she was sure it was only because he had no clue of what happened to Rhaenys. Else, things would have been exceedingly different, such as him flying on Balerion to East instantly on taking down all blue bearded men for daring to touch his wife.

Probably, it was that anger which forced her to shut him away, the very anger that he was not roused to such temper for Irina as he might be feeling for Rhaenys that made her stubborn and rebel against him.

The content feeling on hearing him plead gave a fresh relief surge throughout her skin. She wouldn’t deny of feeling a need to be protected and comforted by him, hearing his voice when he would beg by standing outside, which was something she hadn’t thought Aegon was capable of doing. In fact, she had a hard time accepting that Aegon stayed by the door every day trying to coerce her to open, telling sweet words like confronting a little child.

It was hard to resist when she knew he was caring for her wellbeing. At the same time, Irina wanted him gone. Visenya’s advice burned throughout her heart, every time she hoped to make peace with him. _Aegon loves Rhaenys. He will always love her._ Deep down in her heart, she believed Aegon indeed loved Rhaenys. She had seen them together in that horrible trial period of serving Rhaenys and knew how he cared for Rhaenys. _Could anyone love me for who I am? I have nothing to love and now I am not pure either._ If Irina would let him in her heart, he would hurt her repeatedly. And she didn’t want to be hurt anymore. None of this stopped him, though.

Irina never knew he would feel remorse for her to such extents of always standing by the door at night, thrashing the ironwood till his hands would hurt. That had put her in shock. Some nights he was angry, some nights he was silent with sadness, but he was always present on the other side of the door for the whole night. Taking all the control of their peculiar relationship first time to herself and see him get panicked like a fish out of water with no control to himself, the same life that he had been forcing her to live under his mercy had made her slightly satisfied and all credits should be only given to Visenya, who had so far kept her promise in never allowing anyone, other than the gray-haired maid who would clean everything and bring her food.

The maid was under Visenya’s service who never spoke, aged with wrinkly faces, doing only the duties assigned to her. The old woman became Irina’s curiosity at times because the woman never uttered a word. Only would sign, asking if she needed to be fed, or helped to the chamber pot, or needed to be given a bath. She had no idea if the maid was mute, not that she was going to provoke a conversation when the woman had those haunting eyes on her that subtly implied the pity to her body. Pity for having to bear some strange men’s abuse. If that was the care this world would offer, she would stop speaking to everyone, and secretly she wished the Gods would actually confirm her that the maid was indeed mute, so she would sleep peacefully knowing the woman wouldn’t be spreading her state all around the castle. Perhaps the old woman was mute, which could be the only reason Visenya had allowed to clean and maintain this ghastly chamber.

Content with that explanation, she walked to that curved long porch, which directed to the courtyard unlike her lonely tower, which was facing the beauty of the vast sea, and looked down at Ser Quenton who was drilling the men under his command. If she was not reading the tome, or flying in her bird with no destination in mind, she accustomed herself to sit on the porch and hear the voices of men and boys, fighting amongst themselves to gain glory with their strength. No one ever looked up to see her. She always preferred the corner and only a silhouette would be visible for them if they peered, unlike her clear view of their stances in training or the sharp audible pitches from which they passionately struggled to learn.

It was a usual day, but mostly young boys were present, and they were all getting trained by knights with wooden lances and swords, a few of whose faces she recognized but the rest of them were not so clear to her sight. A few boys were given lances to form a line and form a position of defense against their opponents. Their wooden shields were not powerful ones like true knights carried, but this was part of training them and it looked almost silly from far when they started quarreling amongst each other while failing to knock out their opponents. The knights had to clout the young boys’ heads to pull them off of each other.

It was after an hour when she heard loud tempered voices that sent spine-tingling fear, and she rose instantly to gather the source of where or rather whom it was coming from. In black scaled shirt, and silver-gold hair, she made out Aegon at a distance, but he was not the one whose thundering voice pierced her ears. They were too far for her to know, but her heart leaped realizing exactly whose voice it was. She thought her heart would jump out of her rib cages, feeling the new sensations all along her skin of hearing Orys speaking in his formidable tone.

Truthfully, she had shut down her emotions of wondering about him, hardening her feelings by repeating in her head that Orys would not be caring for her anymore. He hadn’t visited her even after she sent her silver chain through the bird. When she realized he didn’t even visit her in all those six months, she pushed him away from her mind, so it wouldn’t hurt much. But hearing his voice brought tears to her eyes, that streamed uncontrollably and she wanted to run to him, hug him, fight with him for not sparing a day to visit her.

She ran to the door, but it was locked and she knocked a thousand times, only to remember it was a cursed door as a result of her stupidity and she had to wait till Visenya would come. Panic filling her throbbing chest, she ran back to the porch and screamed from the top of her lungs for Orys, hoping that he would just hear and come for her. No one heard her through the wind. Not even a small bee turned for her voice, which was feeble like a whining cat from the never-ending sobs that was lurching from her chest.

Gripping the iron metal hard, nails raking through the steel, she tried to gather her wits, which was not in control at the moment, leaping through excitement to be with someone who she had known and loved since a child. Switching beneath a jay which was far away, she flew down to him chirping in wind with excitement to see him in all flesh, and he looked up his head with astonishment.

Before she decided to understand why he looked horrible, with those long grown beards, or unattended hair, she sensed the tension in the air when Aegon broke the silence, as Orys held her bird body and strangely gave a sob in despair.

“Did you get a chance to question them?” Aegon asked.

“Nah!!” Orys shrugged. “They weren’t man enough to face my sword. Drank something from a vial and dropped dead with a blue face and red-eyes. How can I question dead men?” His voice was sarcastic, eyebrows curving in defense against Aegon’s. He was in anger at their brother. It was evident with the way his nose flared as he started patting her feathers.

“This has to be stopped… and immediately!!! We need to gather information on who is behind these attempts. They come to our home and touch our women!!!” Aegon seethed, but he appeared lost in thoughts for a while, after which his eyes wandered to her bird body, sensing she had come for Orys. Did some more men come for dragons or rather dragon riders? The thought only urged her to come back to the locked chamber and be inside of it quietly and safely. Although Aegon’s eyes still laid on her, he still continued speaking to Orys. “We will speak about this after you and your men, refresh. Visenya has been asking about the same. I need to decide how we move from here. We will not let random men invade our place for dragons.” Aegon said, clearly ignoring the tension in the air. She could feel everything and she knew something was not right. Screeching miserably, she flew over and over Orys’s head, wishing he would stop speaking about irrelevant people and visit her first. Was he still angry at her for spoiling his holdfast? Was that why he had never come to visit in all those days?

“Dragons?!!!” Orys clenched his fist. “I give no fuck about dragons now, Aegon!” He hissed, catching the flying bird in front of his eyes, capturing her fluttering feathers gingerly knowing very well she was inside of it. “You said I can see her.” His voice broke, reminding Aegon of the unsaid promise. “And right now, I need to see her.” He sighed, closing his eyes, taking a moment. “Have you forgotten the promise, already?”

“And you should very well remember on what terms the promise was given,” Aegon replied in his stern lordly voice, with no ounce of friendship. Skeptically looking between the bird and Orys, Aegon motioned his hand towards the direction of Stonedrum tower, asking Orys to refresh first within which he would send Visenya to speak with Irina first if she was ready to meet him in the first place. Irina instantly returned to her body, waiting by the door for them to come.

Each second felt like years, her head spacing out while the possibilities of being insulted, stabbing her heart. Would Orys enquire about what had happened by the shore? Should she explain to him the whole ordeal again? Suddenly, she wished no more to see Orys. She could ask Visenya to not let him in at all. Aegon seemed to be super confident that Irina would not see Orys, probably thinking how she never let him come in.

Her fingers brushed along the stone walls, and she came to the spot of her favorite place, the one where swords were sorted according to height and hungover in an oval shape, varying in sizes and thickness. Spears, war-hammers, lances, even wooden swords were gracing that splendid space, next to the golden armor fit for a woman’s body—Visenya’s body. Her eyes traveled from one to another, fingers sensing the coldness of the steel at every turn, and finally, it came to the last one, the slim, shiny, Valyrian steel—Dark Sister, the name that was befitting Visenya herself.

She had been killed by both the Valyrian steels of this house, and although, in front of Blackfyre, Dark Sister was lame and small, the artistic beauty was nothing compared to Blackfyre which was boring and big. It was for a woman’s hand. Curiosity overpowering her senses, her fingers slid into the hilt first, a small smile curving her lips in the excitement of doing something that Visenya would have not approved, the mischievousness gleaming in her blue orbs that reflected back from the black steel when she inspected.

There was an attraction, pulling her toward the metal, and she craved to touch it, as though it was something she had been missing from inside, but when her finger grazed the tiniest bit, she felt a horrible pain in her chest, just like the time, when she was pierced by Visenya and Aegon at different times, while skin changing and she instantly pulled back her hand, almost tripped running away from the sight of the blade, her blood boiling in anger for no reason.

“Is it burning through you?” Visenya asked, her arms crossed, standing by the door.

“No…” She lied through her teeth and wondered how Visenya had managed to spin a magic around that steel to give such horrible pain. The undying flower pot itself was an answer, but she gave nothing away to inform Visenya of her pain.

“Orys wants to see you,” Visenya informed, moving towards the cupboard to pick a new attire for herself. “Do you want me to let him in? He insists you want to see him too.”

“Where do you stay?” Irina questioned, taking time to process if she should see Orys. Visenya tilted her head, unclear of the question asked. “I mean, I have taken up your residence. I just wondered where do you sleep or reside in.”

“In your tower,” Visenya answered, leaving to the bath chamber for changing her attire. By the time Irina started chewing on her options, standing by the porch, Visenya came out in ring-mail, replaced for the silk she wore, braiding her hair. “Do you like it here?” Visenya looked out at the courtyard at a distance, hearing to the clanging sounds of wood against wood. “Aegon likes your tower more. He says the salt wind and sea are much more soothing over to hear the metal clanging sounds from this chamber.” Her sister gave a curious smile at Irina’s direction. “He wants me to bring you back to your tower.”

Irina disliked that smile that was indirectly poking around the guilt of getting involved with her husband. Irina would have apologized at other times, and although she gave some respect for Visenya, she didn’t want to be pointed out like that. “I like it here. But I don’t want to trouble you. You have helped me more than I asked for. I am ready to move if that's what you want.”

“That's what Aegon wants, not me. Are you going to avoid him forever and get locked up in this chamber? I must admit I am having a good time playing around when he requests me to let him in but this time around the year is not really good to prod his pride.”

Visenya had informed every day of how Aegon and Rhaenys had been asking to let them in to speak. Irina had ignored it most of the time, hoping it would all fade away. “What do you mean by this time around the year?” Her interest piqued.

Visenya glanced at Irina, before binding two of her braids together. “He doesn’t stay in the castle this time and leaves to Gods know where until the storm calms. Don’t you know that?” Irina shook her head, completely aware she had literally no knowledge of who he was or what he would do. “He probably will leave in a day or two and generally would take a moon to return. During which I will be governing the duties of this castle as the Lady of Dragonstone, a title which I deserved from the day I was born but awarded only after willing to marry our stupid brother because I was not blessed with a stick between my legs.”

Visenya clenched her jaw tight, leaning on the rails of the porch, staring blankly at the empty ground. Irina was last born in this family and to the second wife, which was why there wasn’t a day she wondered about Aegon or him inheriting the position and wealth until her father wrote a will. Not that she wanted this for herself, but that one careless action by her father had set many things into motion which was not liked by her siblings, especially Visenya. The scarred memory of standing on the cliff clinging to life and death made Irina to take a few steps away from Visenya, who she knew that wouldn’t flinch away in taking anyone’s life if it came to inheritance.

“Father never cared if I was a boy or not. He taught me to swing a sword as any man would and asked me to take a dragon even before asking Aegon.” Irina scrunched her nose, remembering how her father often advised her to stay away from the dragon’s lair, warning every time to not go near Dragonmont. Only after he gave her the dragon egg, did she forget about taking Aegerax? The egg that never hatched, proving to everyone that she wasn’t a true dragon at all. “When Aegon was born, I stood by my mother’s birth bed-chamber the whole night, chanting prayers and holding my father’s fingers asking thousands of silly questions of how small the baby would be, or would he break if I lifted in my arms or if he would start playing with me from the next day. Father would only give away a faint smile. As we grew up, I trained with him and taught him all the tricks I learned in swinging a sword. He always looked up to me, following me everywhere, taking the fancy of every word I uttered until my mother said to us that we would be marrying one day and Aegon would be the lord of Dragonstone and he would be my master.”

That was how Irina was taught, too, by the ministresses whom her father brought from the East. Not that her father was any different to her. He had asked her to obey his orders without questions, but it was all in good heart. No one would want to see their daughter climbing down rocks to play with strangers.

“And the brother that I loved vanished from that instant, replaced by my master, who left me to find companionship in Orys. After all, I would be beneath him, you see! And I am just a woman.” Visenya’s words came out in contempt, her anger curving in her brow. The pain of being rejected for her gender so clear in her face, the pain of being second in line even when she was capable, and even a step above their brother in skills, flaming through her purple orbs. “At one point, I made peace with it, hoping we will share everything after we marry, until his sudden interest shifted to Rhaenys, the perfect sister who will bend to his wills and whims unlike me.”

Irina walked away, not really liking this topic. Not wanting to hear about Rhaenys or how the relationship between the three had bends and twists. She cared for none of them when they had always forgotten about her existence. “You really are enjoying this. Aren’t you?” She bit her lips tightly to stop telling something irresistible.

“Oh, I always love a little show. But to see their perfect relationship tumble down like a sandcastle, by you… especially by you… That’s beyond perfection.”

“I am not the reason for it.” Her throat constricted her voice to come out, looking at the way how others would see this. “He doesn't love me, you said the same. And Rhaenys…”

“What do I know about love? I left the man I loved for six years, only for holding power and riding a dragon. You know the story very well about Daemon and me. Aegon said the same when our father married your mother, that our father can’t love a woman like her, who is beneath to the status of a Targaryen.” Irina held her anger, hearing about her dead mother being insulted by these stupid siblings. “But then Lord Aerion proved everyone wrong writing away the whole inheritance to you.”

“Why are you saying to me the things that I am aware of already?”

“Aegon has a fancy for you, that much I can be sure. He hasn’t left this chamber at night, muttering like a fool in love, begging me to let him in. I assume this is the first time he stayed away from Rhaenys.” Irina bent down seeing her toes, knowing this wasn’t the first time. He had spent a few nights before too, leaving before the sun would come up. “Make peace with him. We have more things to concentrate on, especially in the East. I can’t have him swoon around you like a puppy.”

“Are you ordering me?”

“No… Advising you!!! He is not going to let this go and the sooner he marries you, we can finally put all this mess a rest and travel East.”

Irina stared at her sister blankly, the prospect of being married spoken like just another event of life by Visenya herself. “Why do you want him to marry me?”

“Because I know what you’re capable of.” Visenya’s eyes became too dark as though she can stare into Irina’s soul. “Besides, I assume you want the same. Don’t you?”

 _Do I?_ She wanted before all of this happened. She didn’t know why she wanted to spill her mind, but then when Visenya who never spoke a word until a moon before bared her heart a little, it wasn’t that difficult. Be it a stone or Visenya, she just wanted to admit a part of her mind. “I don’t know. I want what I had before our father died.”

Visenya crossed her arms, walking towards the pot on the table. “This was the only thing that I kept as a reminder of our father.” Giving a light touch to the purple petals, Visenya turned at her with a frown. “Don’t make more and more foolish choices, Irina, like all the times and get yourself killed. I won't spare you if I have to choose between this house and you.”

A warning puzzle again, threatening her with death. Her sister was capable of it. This would be how her life would be, always dangling in a thin rope of life and death. Death didn’t fear her, but the fact that Visenya could threaten her to kill, even while she held all power, made her feel less in control. A knock on the door cleared her mind, and she asked Visenya to not lock the door anymore. If there was going to be a confrontation between the world and her, a door wouldn’t stop that from happening. And the open offer by one of her sisters to marry their husband made her feel less comfortable in her skin. They were up to something and she had to find out the truth and keep her life in control.

* * *

Pulling her sleeves one more time to her shoulders, she carefully stepped into the adjacent chamber to see Orys, forcing the voice in her head to mute for some time. He was sitting by the fireplace, staring down at his toes, stroking his ink-black beard while still feeding the jay that she had sent before with few grains in hand.

“Have you gone into the wild again, without me this time?” She asked to break the ice and with a forced smile, but when he looked at her, he offered no smile at all. His head tilted a little to have another look at her face, which she knew had a few marks of the assault left still, and she instantly covered her cheeks, flushing red in shame.

This was a mistake. Now, he would ask questions about what had happened. She felt so ill to stand there, unable to meet his eyes. Were those eyes accusing her of all the mistakes? He took careful steps towards her, the general loud thuds of his boots not actually present at the time, speaking volumes about his calculated behavior. She couldn’t lift her face, even with mere inches of his presence, and tears were threatening to fall down. “Where the fuck is the other half of my sister? Did you eat her in hunger?”

She looked weirdly at him, and when his glossy white teeth were visible, she forgot all her worries and jumped on him, laughing all the way till her stomach hurt, both from the wounds crushing his body and from the laughter.

Unable to bear the pain, she lowered her legs to the carpet and his eyes became too moist that he took his time to compose himself. “Is something hurting you? I will call the Maester.”

“Its fine, Orys. This is nothing that I can’t bear.”

Orys swallowed and moved his head all around the chamber, trying awkwardly to speak something. “I have been feeding the parrot you sent me with your chain. It accompanies me everywhere I go.”

Birds… Of course, he would speak about birds. They spoke for some time like that, about birds, galleys and his holdfast, the twins of his maid who used to play with her and the knights in his service. Finally, he lost his cool and started swearing as she expected he would do.

“If Visenya hadn’t killed that bastard, I would have served his eyes in a platter to your birds.” His fisted hands were flexing in and out, eyes steaming in red-anger. “Until I get my hands on who is behind all this and bring them to your feet, I will not rest, Irina. I promise!!!”

Irina gave a fainted smile, remembering it was all Rhaenys and there was no way he could do that without getting burned from the dragons.

“You don’t hate me, right?” He asked holding her shoulders, seeking rescue through his guilty eyes. “I should have come for you, fought harder with him. I was a fool to take everything as he said. I was a true fool!!!” He flinched with his last statement. He was scolding Aegon. It was obvious that something transpired between them and it was nothing sweet.

She ignored all those and took asylum placing her cheeks on his heart. “Its fine, Orys. I am happy that you are here, now. I missed you all these days.”

“I missed you more, Irina. After you left, it didn’t feel the same there, in the holdfast.” He became silent again, not letting her out of his hold, and she curved her brow, wondering what happened. “Will you come there and be with me?” He asked, and she smiled, knowing how silly that question was.

“Of course, I will come.” And it had hit her, what Aegon would do if she left. “Perhaps, after getting Aegon’s permission.”

His forehead creased, not liking the answer. “What if he won’t allow you to?”

She shrugged his hand away from her shoulder, trying to put distance between them. How much ever the truth was hurting her, denial was not going to help. Visenya was right. She truly had no choice in deciding her life. When she stared up to Orys to convey the same, his curious eyes were tracing the old teeth marks on her shoulder and she instantly moved away several steps from him, adjusting her sleeves.

“This seems to be an old scar.” He pointed out, and she got furious and defensive of invading her private space in her own body. “Who bit you?”

“No one.”

“Did Aegon do this to you?” He shook her body, and she felt so uneasy of discussing any of it with Orys. “What else did he do to you? Are you a maiden any more or did he force you to be with him?”

She slapped his hand away, getting angered. “What has gotten into you?”

“Did he take your maidenhead?” Orys screamed through clenched teeth.

“No, Orys!!!” Aegon’s voice entered, and they both turned around to see him standing by the door, his arms crossed across his chest. “She is still a maiden, the Maester himself confirmed. But I don’t understand why you have to worry about it.” She couldn’t breathe properly, her chest heaving up and down, hearing two men speak about her maidenhood, as though they owned the rights of it.

“I am her brother, the one who cares for her,” Orys replied crisply, not yielding.

“Glad that we are in agreement, brother!” Aegon replied with a smile. “But as the head of this family, and your liege lord, I ask you to find Visenya to do the duties that are allocated to you. Don’t involve in something that doesn’t concern you.”

Orys jaw quivered, the insult of it getting into his bones. “Everything you said to me was a lie when I came month after month to see her,” Orys stated with a blank stare at Aegon.

“I told no lies, Orys. Irina didn’t want to see you, at that time. Leaving this castle and being with you alone in your holdfast, was spoiling her name, and she learned the importance of holding her reputation.”

Irina gawked at Aegon, unbelievable with the way he was lying through his teeth. “Reputation…? My ass!!!” Orys spat. “Where is her reputation now?” Orys panted. “What fucking reputation are you speaking about, after all this assault? Who is going to believe that she is not tainted? Which Lord will come to marry her?” Her heart crunched little by little, unwilling to hear that her brother was valuing her worth only by the thin layer in her body. “And you bastard!!! You laid your hands on her when you are already married to two women?” Orys pulled Aegon’s collar within a flicker of her eyelids, ready to challenge him for a battle.

“Careful, now!” Aegon warned before pulling Orys’s arm away from his body. “I am letting this slide one time, for the friendship I hold for you.”

Before they both chanced to fight against each other, calling for the whole castle’s attention, which wouldn’t end in Orys’s good, she yelled at them to stop. “I want neither of you anywhere near me. Both of you can leave and fight in the pit if you want. Not here!! not in front of me! Enough of you both pretending to care for my feelings.”

“Come with me, Irina, to my holdfast. Let me see for myself if our brother’s fire will melt my armor.” Orys pulled her arm, and she had to drag her feet to a halt before shrugging away from him.

He stared back with wounded eyes. “Are you not listening to me? I want to be left alone.” Orys was just hurt, she knew. And his words were just a wounded brother’s care. Understanding Aegon had lied to him every time he had come to visit her, she felt her anger vapor away for Orys. Had she known Orys came looking for her, she would have gladly met him against all odds. She took his calloused hands in her hold. “I can’t see you fighting Aegon, Orys. He is our brother, he doesn’t hurt me, as you assume. I am safe, happy, and fine. Well taken care of. I will come another time when I feel better. Please, let this go now!!!”

She had to plead for him to leave. He huffed like a giant dragon, directing his anger now and again at Aegon’s direction, who watched at her like a hawk staring at its prey. Finally, Orys left, throwing warning at Aegon’s direction, asking her to be careful and seek him out for help, if needed, cursing every single person he knew of.

A moment later, she turned towards her chamber, not ready to face the demon in the chamber. But the demon wouldn’t leave her, though. Aegon pulled her wrist, making her to lose her balance. And within a second he managed to keep her in his arms, as his mouth started to invade hers, caressing her cheek with his thumbs. She hated the way he kissed. She hated the way she was enjoying his tongue sliding against hers, making her lose control and lean towards his lips. More than that, she hated that he somehow successfully made her send away her loving brother and chose him while picking sides.

Could it be because of all those nights he stayed by the chamber? Could it be because of those simple gestures of caring for her? She sobbed, not having a good feeling of what he made her to be.

“He will come around, Irina. Don’t shed tears for him. I have been waiting to see you every night. To speak with you. To touch you. To hold you.”

She glared, her eyes darkening. “How could you presume I would side with your lies? You refused to let Orys see me, by saying I was not wishing to see him. Have you got any idea how much I suffered in that tower? I could have spoken with him, spend some time with him. He was always there for me, even when I was invisible to your eyes. You let me feel alone. You took everyone away from me. My friends, Orys, and placed your stupid guards in that tower, not letting me take a step outside. How could you do that?” She screamed, pushing him away with all her force.

“Did you not just tell you were happy here? Now, what has gotten in your head?”

“Happy? Will anyone be happy to get locked up and lose their freedom?” There was no point in explaining to him. He would not understand. “When I asked you to leave me alone, I meant it, Aegon. Which part of it, did you not understand?”

“The part that I know you need me, yet you chose to shut me out because you feel incredibly satisfied hearing me beg for you. And I am shameless to come every night and sit by this door hoping that you would change your heart. That's one stone heart, woman!!!”

“Stone heart???” She hissed. “Yes… I am the evil monster you think I am. I give a horse shit about what you think of me. Right now, I want you gone from my life. You have already taken a part of me and those monsters took some more part. I just wish you will leave me and go on with what you do.”

He didn’t utter a word in response. And when his arms extended to touch her hand, she shrugged away. “What’s wrong with you?” He asked with his empty thick voice, noticing the way she cried. “Come here to me.” When he held her waist, hoping to pull her close, she screamed, her heart shredding to pieces remembering the evening, when that tinkled monster would not let her go and kept kicking her stomach.

“Don’t touch me!!! Please!!! I beg you.”

“Okay, I won’t. I won’t. I won’t touch you, Irina.” He said raising his arms above to show he won’t come near.

But her tears wouldn’t stop and she gathered herself into a corner, pulling her knees to her chest, not knowing how to get rid of this terrifying feelings. Suddenly, her heart went out for Rhaenys. Her sister endured the worst, and that knowledge was helping her a little. To know that there was someone else who had shared the same pain. And now, she had to meet Rhaenys too.

Once she went inside, Aegon himself shut the door from out, giving her his sorry purple orbs. He really was trying to connect with her. Would he ask her to marry him, as Visenya said? Would Irina want to marry him? There was something about the way he lied today, that made her doubt everything he declared to her. Did he lie to her like this all these days? Feeling too heavy of thinking, she closed her lids, hoping to find it sooner. “I can’t get hurt again. I won’t let anyone hurt me, again.”


	16. The Rock Bottom

It was no less of a spectacle when she walked down the stairs and had breakfast in the Great Hall, where every single fucking person of the castle, right from guards to serving wenches, had their share. Irina thought she would choke counting the number of eyes in her direction, but to her surprise, she maintained a good composure throughout picking a decent amount of food on her platter.

Even a small gesture of presenting herself amongst the guards and servants of the castle seemed to be an unpleasant, tedious task. Of course, as usual, she could have made the maid bring food to her chamber. That was how her entire life revolved, away and deserted. At that moment, though, creating chaos brought amusement. To ruffle some feathers. To see how things would turn out if she’d behave differently with these lots, so there wouldn’t be any pondering in the future if she gave her best.

Was she trying to get attention? Perhaps… She didn’t know why, but she wanted everyone to give the gossip away right in front of her eyes and ears, rather to always wonder if they would say things behind her back.

Surprisingly, the result came better than she expected. Not within five minutes of taking a table, unbothered by any eyes, did a low rumble came from behind her chair.

“My lady!” Ser Quenton offered a smile, his hand behind his back. He was the man who taught her horse riding. She offered the gesture back, although not with the same enthusiasm as the man himself. He was probably taking pity on her. “If it's not a bother, shall I join you?”

“Please… It's a boring company to speak with empty chairs.”

The man laughed, his mustache quivering in response to her bland jape. While for a long time, silence prevailed, and she was glad for him not asking any questions, slowly the table started filling, a few older men, probably knights who were under the command of Ser Quenton taking their fill of ale, to start ahead a new day.

“I am planning to send five more boys from the latest recruits to Dragonmont.” A knight, roughly around in his forties, said to Ser Quenton. She didn’t have a clue what his name was, but now and again, he directed a warm smile at her, making her feel not so unwanted or stupid among them.

“Lord Aegon doesn’t want any new men around the lairs. That would do no good if they end up giving out details of those dragons or stealing eggs for themselves. Better to pick out from our old boys from the galleys. There is no need for them to wander about in the sea, now that the ports will be closed.”

Dragons?… Odd way to address when there was only one old dragon–her father’s, lying lazily in the lair. The knight nodded, throwing his glance at her side. “The ports will be closed?” She asked curiously.

“It's for the safety, my lady. We keep our guards high, for now.” The knight said. Although she didn’t respond, the back of her head wondered what loss closing the ports would cause to Dragonstone. It was a small island, not more than five thousand small folks living in it. It would mean nothing. Right?

“The boy Vyl…” Ser Quenton said, pulling her back to their conversation. At the mere mention of the boy’s name, her heart swelled. Thinking about her old life and her old friends made her stomach flutter in joy. “He is thriving in the sea. Not a week ago, he managed to bring down the enemies on his own.”

She coughed, choking on her food, eyes tearing up while hands searched for water, but the unnamed knight pushed her the ale mug and she swallowed it like a greedy cat. “What enemies are you speaking about?”

“The ones that attacked you and the other ladies. A few men are snooping in the territory, sniffing for attacking our fort. Some were caught by the Dragonmont and others by the shore, here.” The knight answered, but his eyes tensed, seeing her panic. “We will protect you with our life, my lady. For the old lord and our young lord, I swear we will exact vengeance for what happened.”

Suddenly her limbs went cold and frozen, her mouth stubborn enough to not draw any words to give a response. Irina just wanted to get out of the damned crowd. Not that she hated anything the knight said. He was sincere, loyal, and truly a good man, but hearing them speak about the assault blatantly made her feel so numb. How many of them came to know? Did Aegon try nothing to stop spreading the rumors? Awkwardly giving a polite smile, she left the place with her heels on fire towards the heart tree.

Cursing under her breath like forever, she spent her first day out like a sore loser, staring at the garden in front with no flowers. It was not maintained. The garden was unbothered and left alone to dry and die. But the curses helped in maintaining her sanity for a while, and she came back to the same place, the lonely tower, with no friends around. Her life was like a maze. She ran till her legs ached, taking all curves and paths to escape the enclosing prison, but in the end, the tower was waiting, broodingly, opening its arms to embrace her tiny form in mockery.

That day passed by and the next morning when she opened her eyes, purple orbs stared back at her, and she lunged for her father’s dagger that was hidden beneath her pillow, mad fear lurching up her throat. Rhaenys had the curtsey to stifle a laugh and Irina fumed, clutching to the blade’s hilt. Her mind was tricking her, teasing her, testing her to use the blade on the woman before, and put an end to all of her miseries.

Irina hadn’t slept peacefully for a complete night in recent times, the tragic dreams haunting more and more. She couldn’t look at anyone’s face without feeling shame. It was one thing to kill a person and another to rip away dignity for the whole world to see, and that was what Rhaenys did. Not just when the Dothraki horse lord attacked Irina. Even before all those, Rhaenys had always been a trouble. The prospect of seeing blood oozing out from Rhaenys’s neck gave a lustrous taste to her tongue. _Rhaenys doesn’t deserve to live… Her life is my bane._

“Are you going to stare at me the whole day?” Rhaenys asked, snapping Irina out of that trance, where she was madly resolved to do the right thing which her heart urged. That, of course, would be a terrible decision in the long run. Irina wouldn’t be spared, not even in her birds.

“Have you got no sense to value my privacy? Oh, I forgot, when have you ever learned about valuing anything than your own stupid life?” She snapped like a mad dog and that made Rhaenys _still_ , her mouth ajar, processing the way Irina’s harsh words came out. Irina had never been mean to anyone, but now she couldn’t stop hurting others if it was coming to boundaries.

“I am sorry. I will come at another time. When you are in a good mood and a good time.”

That was even a change of personality from her sister. The Rhaenys, she knew, would have not taken any slight how much ever small it might be. “I don’t want to see you ever again, Rhaenys! Spill your guts and leave me for good.” She snapped again, probably the old festering wounds not sparing any mercy with her words.

Her sister was at a loss of words and Irina left to the bath chambers to refresh to get out of the foul mood by taking a long bath, all the while hoping Rhaenys would leave to hell, probably the birthplace where her sister had come from. But then Irina knew the confrontation was there. The more she drowned in water, the more she realized how fucked up her life became because of Rhaenys. Finally, after two hours or so, when she returned, Irina became meaner than before.

“Are you planning to take me to your new fuck toy, so he can rape and throw me into the sea? Tell me prior, so I will dress up for the occasion. To please all your fantasies.”

Showing her back, she put on a newly stitched up dress, and after what felt like hours, Rhaenys gave an answer. “I am sorry.” Irina chuckled, the feel of that word lost in her soul. Rhaenys had no heart to feel sorry for anyone. None in her family knew what it was to feel sorry for their misdoings. “That was never my intention, Irina. I only–” When Irina glared at her sister, at least Rhaenys had something close to shame to shut her mouth.

“You only wanted me to disappear. What a calculating plan you had? To bring your spiteful bed boy to take me East? That is not even the point, to begin with.” Her heart sped up, beating, rage dancing through every small whiff of air that puffed out from her mouth. “You wanted me to get sold off as a slave. A heartless creature such as you–”

“I never wanted any of that.” Rhaenys interfered, the pent up anger coming out through loud voice. Rhaenys had no right to hold any anger, in the first place. _But if not wroth what my family is worth for?…_ “I had it in control until that idiot spoiled it by planning to take me.”

“You had it in control?” Irina seethed, and Rhaenys slowly dropped the facade, clearly unbothered by the outrage. “What am I to you? Did you think I am a piece of trash to be thrown out when you dislike? Was there any day that I did wrong by you?”

Her sister rolled her eyes. “Quit your act, Irina. You were aware of my misgivings for you. This is not news for you to overreact. I just wanted you to be gone out of my sight. Does that make me heartless? Yes… But I don’t cower behind lies. It is who I am.”

Irina’s eyes widened, and her jaw tightened, the fury never leaving her chest. That was one hell of an audacity for a woman who was evidently in less power. _Am I missing something, again? If Rhaenys makes another plot, I will gauge her eyes out rather than having a civilized conversation, controlling my tongue._

The truth was slowly dawning on Rhaenys, and she instantly started fretting. “This was not how I wanted to speak with you. I… I just… went out of line. Will you forgive me?”

Irina chortled, taking a seat on the chair in front, supporting one leg on the other. She couldn’t bring herself to speak with the creature before. It was all lost on her. The love to belong with her sister, the eagerness to be one among them, the enthusiasm in fighting to be a Targaryen, was all lost on her. Only bitterness was lacing as a thin veil between them.

“I never wish harm on anyone, you know.” Rhaenys went on. “I want everyone to love me, praise me, and adore me. And I did the right things all the time.” Rhaenys moved her eyeballs dramatically, trying to pull in a non-existing pain to her smoothened face. That ached Irina. While her sister remained flawless as ever, her whole body was battered to ugliness. _Why should I pay the price of my sister’s crimes? Why should I be the one to bear the scars of the evilness in this world?_

Irina spat out of spite. “Like fucking behind your husband’s back, so they will always love you? It worked very well. That bastard seemed to be unable to live without you, even when you threw him away once he became ugly for your taste.”

Rhaenys flushed, as though speaking it aloud making her insulted. “I was no more the child that father loved more after you came to this world. And I felt insulted… angered and most of all, lost… _to you. Of all people, I lost to you!!!_ You lived your life as a loser. Have you held anything worth in your life to know the pain of losing? How could you understand what it is to get loved and loose the same when you were never loved in the first place.”

There it was… the Rhaenys she knew. The pang of pain in her heart reverberated throughout the air. “I was loved by father.”

Rhaenys chuckled, her lips twisting in a royal mockery. “He loved your mother, and you grew up just to be like her. If you had been born with our father’s colors, he would have not even bothered to sniff in your direction. You are just an extension of your mother, Irina. He just willed to bring back your mother through you.”

Irina clutched her fingers so tight, to not let those words get into her head. It was not the truth. Her father had a soft spot for Irina in his heart because she was different than her siblings. He wouldn’t have visited every day to her tower and said all his war tales and songs of Old Valyria, had he thought she was just an extension of her mother. But Rhaenys words slowly seeped to her head. She couldn’t stop it. Many a time, her father had addressed her as Agnes. What was she supposed to do for that? Would he have loved less if Irina was not born with her mother’s colors?

Gods… She hated this woman, who could spill poison even to the sweetest memory Irina held in heart.

“And don’t try to guilt-trip of how me fucking behind my husband’s back is different from him fucking _you_ , behind my back. The whole castle knows he visits your chamber every night.”

It was like someone hit her head with a hammer. Irina cleared her throat and turned her head away from Rhaenys’s stare. She didn’t want to show how much Rhaenys’s words were affecting. It would prove her to be the fool. “That's not what he does with me. And he was never inside my chamber.” She said calmly, uninterested in justifying. Why would everyone imagine he was sleeping with her? Now even the whole castle knew about it. Gods, she hated Aegon more than ever.

“Oh, sister! Don’t take the role of the maiden now, when I know exactly how you are playing this game. It's a good tease for him and you will be rewarded well, but none of that changes from the fact that he has been looking at you or for a fact that he is just waiting to fuck you. It is just like how history repeats. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, you see.”

Irina felt her skin crawling with worms. Game??? Rewards??? She squeezed her eyes before plunging her threatening glare pointedly at Rhaenys. “You dare to take moral high-ground here? You of all people, condescending of my actions? Don’t slip another word that makes me mad, else I will rip your throat before you flick your lids. _You destroyed me._ And because of you, I feel less of a person every single day the sun rises. You gave me wounds that will never heal. I am barely licking my wounds in darkness because I came to save you from your idiotic mission, the one where you couldn’t be even successful in throwing me away.”

Irina didn’t know how the anguish side of her agony slipped out. She didn’t even want to show her emotional side. But that invoked something from Rhaenys, the first genuine one that she saw ever since that foolish conversation began. This wasn’t going well. Not as she had expected. There was no power imbalance here. Rhaenys’s eyes were getting moist, and she just hoped to let go of this old memory and give it a rest.

“I know how it feels.” Rhaenys was suddenly weeping. Her tears were rolling down like pearls, down to her lap, hands shivering while reliving the memory. It was even sadder than Irina had assumed. In strange odd ways, Aegon came to comfort her, and Visenya did help her. In truth, Rhaenys was in need of all the care and love. “It is in my favor that Aegon doesn’t visit my chamber.” Irina curved her brow, shocked to hear that. “He will know… One kiss, one mere faintest touch of his finger on my body, he will figure out what has happened to me. I can’t let him know. He will break the hells loose and…”

“He will find out about Terrance Celtigar.” Irina finished, the empathy evaporating. Rhaenys’s answers were not calming her mind. No one would break any hell loose for Irina, nor would they love her like Rhaenys was loved. Perhaps she herself should do the deed, rather than relying on others. With all the power… Yet, another hard truth was bothering her heart. About Aegon… Of where his love lied. It was getting clearer to her, more evidently and she couldn’t run away from it.

“He would call me _‘dragon lady’”_ Rhaenys interrupted her wave of thoughts. Looking down at the broken nails on Rhaenys’s fingers, her sister sobbed. Irina realized this was not about Aegon. It was about Terrance Celtigar. _“_ He always blathered about taking me to the mountains and keeping me for himself.”

“Did you love him?” The words spilled, and she instantly regretted asking such a question. She hated them both, but curiosity was a monster.

“Of course, not!” Rhaenys said, so offended by that statement, and Irina became cautious of the creature before. “I _loved_ that he _loved me_. It made me feel good about myself.” Irina could have sworn her hand twitched a little, to give clout to her sister’s ears. Was this why Rhaenys kept pleasing anyone she met? To always make them love her? “It is a blessing, you know. To have people love you. To have them devoted to you. To have them chant your name.”

“And you think they won’t expect the same back from you?” Irina asked. Because that was exactly why that moron Celtigar wanted to take Rhaenys back. Terrance was evil, but he was lost in his last minutes, his hopes drying up with the thought of losing Rhaenys. He was clinging on to any desperation to be with her sister. Irina remembered his voice all so well in her head.

“That’s why I give them what they need… what they craved from me…,” Rhaenys told, her purple eyes locking Irina’s.

That was even more fucked up than the opaque reality where so far Irina had been imagining that Rhaenys genuinely liked having sex with them or she took an interest in those men she slept with. “Are you saying you slept with him because he was praising you?”

Rhaenys shrugged, casually. “This might sound crazy to you, but doesn’t everyone like to be in bed with someone who adores them. I am damn well sure Visenya is the same as me. Why else Daemon still falls to her feet and worships her like a goddess?” A defense face graced Irina’s skin, wanting Rhaenys to leave Visenya out of this conversation. She didn’t know why she felt that. Probably, the curtsey of staying in her sister’s chamber for a while must have made a difference. “Of course, Aegon loves me. But you see, he has been with me like forever. He has read me stories, bathed me as a child, played all silly games, and it's very difficult to hold on to vows to a man you have been practically running around ever since you started walking. Don’t take me wrong. We had good times too when we were newly married. And I was determined and desperate to marry him, so I will not be sent out of Dragonstone and become invisible, siring children to fat lords. I did everything in my power to seduce him and turn him against our father, to fight for my hand. But when the marriage was over, the passion dried out. I fancied new things, different things, that excites me in bed. Just like how Aegon is trying with you now.”

The last line dragged Irina out of bubbling volcano, her dress dancing in molten fire. “I am not his fancy new thing…” If only the words were fire…

“Be that as it may…” Rhaenys ignored, her newfound mockery clear in the whisper. “Visenya said you wouldn’t rat me out to Aegon, only if I don’t create a fracas for Aegon marrying you.”

“Is this your own deranged interpretation to have gain control over this situation?” Irina snarled. “I am not that desperate to marry Aegon as you assume. He can marry a rock for all I care.”

“Are you absolutely sure, Irina? Whatever trance you _will_ him to succumb in, he will eventually fall in my feet, when this little tryst of yours gets over. Close your legs as long as you wish for Aegon to come behind you. Once he finds what’s between, it will all be the same. And he will return to me. I have wrapped him around my finger, Irina. I was the first woman he tasted and I know when and how to pull the strings. Even Visenya with all her wrath could never get past me.”

Irina gave a twisted smile, the intensity of Rhaenys’s twisted mind sneering past her threshold. “You are a bitch, sister!!” She spat, moving towards her vanity to take the brush, and the reflection of her sister’s red face in the mirror gave her a first satisfying victory. “What? Did you think I would spare your arrogant ass if you dangle candies before my eyes? I am not here to make a deal with you. If you want me to not mind your indiscretion with other men…” She paused, staring back. “Before you plan on thinking about wiping out any evidence of Terrance Celtigar, I know that you are still sleeping with Andrix, the fiddler of our court. Even after all this riot, you are still seeking for the minstrel's company. So, save yourself from trouble. If you really want me to be quiet, then don’t do anything to displease me.” Leaning against the vanity, she crossed her arms to stare at the mouth gaped silver-haired woman who she hardly recognized or related to. “Even if so much as you sniff, I will know about it. And as unfair as it sounds, I don’t think Aegon will be so charming to welcome you to his bed, with that cheating ass of yours.”

Rhaenys rose, her knuckles clenched, jaw tight, not expecting such a clear declaration. Hell, even Irina was not aware of that courage. “This is how you want to play? Do you think I will cower behind your threats?”

A flock of birds flew right ahead of her sister’s head, and Rhaenys fell on the cushioned chair, gripping the armrest in fear. “I saved your ass, the other day, even when I knew you were my enemy.” Irina’s voice dripped with poison-laced anger. “This is the least I expect of you. I give no warnings, Rhaenys. I killed all your friends, except that bitch Jirelle Crabb. So, don’t think I make any empty threats. I don’t need Aegon to make you feel sorry. _I don’t need anyone to make you regret it._ I am strong enough to do my own bidding. Your dragon doesn’t threaten me. You should know that by now.”

That did the trick, and for the first time in Irina’s entire presence in this world, she saw fear in her sister’s eyes. Oh, how she wished to cherish that memory, hoping that horror-struck face would always be the one that she could relate to even for eons to come while thinking of Rhaenys.

* * *

Her life slowly started blooming with colorful flowers within a few days in the castle. Irina shared her breakfast along with the old Maester sometimes or with one of her father’s old guards or Ser Quenton, whose not-so-subtle approach to initiate a marriage proposal, that horrified her. The old man taught her how to ride, for God’s sake. He had lost his wife long back and had a son of his own. Long time back, while Rhaenys was planning to send Irina away, she seemed to have approached Ser Quenton to take Irina’s hand. And the old man was plotting to make Irina as his wife, now that he was thinking she was a damaged property.

It sucked. Irina couldn’t keep her food in the stomach, when he had asked, with so much curtsey. “I can wait for three more months, my lady. To know for sure, you don’t carry another man’s child. After which I can ask Lord Aegon’s leave to take your hand, only if you agree. I don’t want to force this on you.”

She’d politely walked away from him, even though she’d wanted to chew his ears out. Such a hypocritical filth. His first wife had died, through whom he had a son of his own. _What if I was really raped and bore a child? How was I responsible for that?_ Moreover, he was of her father’s age. Had her father lived, he would have stabbed this man for so much as breathing in her direction. It was then she remembered Paxter, the good old man, who didn’t have curtseys or false words that chanted praise. In fact, that old man had a grumpy mood that she often had a distaste for. She hadn’t found him in the tower. Nor did she find Ser Horas, that vile creature. There were more guards, but she hadn’t got in herself to know them.

Irina wished to know what happened to everyone. Alarra Massey, Paxter, Jirelle Crabb, and all the things in her past. Some part of her wanted to live in denial, the same denial that she had been living in for some time. Alarra’s words rang a bell to her mind, every time she closed her eyes. “I am prisoner too”. Did the girl return to her home safely? Why did she try to help Irina? To know and explore the truth would only wound her more, she knew. And for most of her time, she restrained from seeking out anyone or anything, except the Maester Gerard, who was kind enough to allocate simple duties because she had asked of him.

Aegon hadn’t come to disturb her again, but he often graced with his easy smile, when she was trying to blend in and do something on her own. He was there, observing her silent display of courage when breaking fast with the household or while cursing the world by the heart tree, or not coming out of her chamber for a few days or while mixing the herbs with the Maester. He was always there around her, making her feel safe from a distance. She should be more than relieved. But even those gentlest displays of affection couldn’t console her. Not even once she felt at peace, having to look at his face. She was only able to contemplate on Rhaenys’s words that pronounced the truth loud and clear. Not just her words, her eyes opened to reality.

What did Visenya say when asked why she intended Irina to marry Aegon? _“Because I know what you’re capable of.”_ It was clear as crystal when her heart reeled in reality. The reality where everything that Rhaenys said seemed to be perfectly true. She denied going to explore that part of her life.

The storm slowly started setting in, when the clouds raged that evening. Irina was in the rookery to tend the ravens. “The steward has retired, my lady. And the local shop-owners are not so happy with the ports being closed. A few of them demand compensation for the loss of trade in the sea. The accounts are blurred for us to settle for the needy.” The Maester informed her of the incidents around the castle. She was also keen on learning what was happening.

The steward was one of the dead girls’ father. Visenya had said the man blamed Irina for the girl’s death. What had happened to him? “Why will they ask for compensation? They aren’t the needy. Aren’t the traders wealthy enough to fend for themselves? What will they do if we won’t give compensation? It is not like they can run to non-war land here in this world.” Irina asked.

“That is true, my lady.” The Maester said in his bright voice. “But their taxes are filling our coffers more than the peasants’. It is wise to keep them happy.”

“We resolve the issue without a fight, first,” Aegon answered from the entrance of the rookery, his eyes having a storm of its own. “And if they don’t understand, we use force.”

Irina just wished he would disappear before barging in her life, before breaking her soul, before crushing the only trust she held onto. Oblivion and illusion was a comfort for her. She wasn’t ready to face the truth. Truth had never given her peace. Every time truth came out, it came with a thunder shaking her roots. But he didn’t leave. Once the Maester left them to their devices, Aegon stood observing her or more like condescending, his arms crossed, brows creased, as she fed corn to another raven.

“Did Visenya speak with you about the wedding?” He asked, very casually.

“No… Rhaenys mentioned.” She replied, her hand already shaking. He was expecting her to ask more questions, but she was determined to shun away her happiness. She knew this happiness was just an illusion, that he was forcing on her to keep her sane.

“Are you consenting for the wedding?”

“Do I have a choice?”

His jaw opened, unexpecting of such a sharp response, but she had blurted out. He approached her slowly, with light footsteps, trying not to scare her off. “I will never force you to do anything that you don’t want to.” He answered. It was the sweetest thing she had heard. Like a sweet poison. And she gave an awkward smile, the one that didn’t reach her eyes.

“Then I don’t wish to marry you.”

He was taken aback. He didn’t expect this. Fuck, she hadn’t expected to tell this. All she wanted in her life was to belong in this family, one way or the other. Not to run away from it. She was merely a love-sick fool, who craved for meager pieces of mercy. That girl had passed away. And the girl who stood before him was someone she herself could barely recognize. “Irina… Don’t lie that your love for me is lost. Don’t lie that you never felt the passion I felt while I wrapped myself around you. What did you do to the girl that loved to smile for roses? You have become so cold and I have no way to reach you. I know I failed in protecting you-”

“This has nothing to do with that, Aegon. You know it in your heart why I don’t want to marry you. The feeling hasn’t lost on me. You remaining far away has given me the perspective clear. I can see it all. Can you stop pretending like you actually care?”

He swelled with pain, his eyes turning dark. “There is only so much limit for my patience with you. I have no ways to prove what I feel for you if you lock me out from your life. Well, I won’t force any woman to marry me. If you think I forced Visenya, you can ask her yourself. Rhaenys too, for that matter. I am giving you your freedom. But remember, it comes with a cost.”

“I have paid my price deftly staying here. I want to risk taking the chance of my freedom.” She replied curtly, a small act of defiance.

Aegon nodded, his head moving softly. But his knuckles were growing pale. “Fine. Don’t curse me when I collect my due. You will learn whom you belong to when I put an end to your commotion.” She hadn’t expected such a harsh response. What would he do? He was not Rhaenys. Not the one to cower when challenged. The ever-loving, charismatic, sweet brother was replaced by a monster in its stead and she wondered how in the hells she fell for this monster. “Who is behind all this? Orys? Lord Massey? Who has the guts to come near you and oppose me?”

She chewed the sides of her cheek, letting him spew on his own. And to his credit, he was trying hard to be in control. To get over the obnoxious thoughts spurning in his head. She could sense it with the way his tightened knuckles not getting released or the creases on his brows not getting smoothened. In a way, she was enjoying the sight of his struggle. “Why do you assume I need a man behind me to do as I will?”

He laughed, his mocking voice sending chills down her spine. “You are no simpleton, Irina. I shouldn’t be explaining this. But let me spill out the details. There is always going to be someone backing you. To take advantage of who you are, and what you are capable of. Or at least what’s between your legs. I hate to admit, but you will always be a pawn. We all are… in one way or another. I am no exception, either. And the sooner you learn this, you will value my worth.” He perked up his brow at her. “You make everything the hard way. Don’t you?”

That question was leaping into her tight sprung chest. “You have never been true to me. You neither earned my love nor my trust. I gave it to you like a fool and got it broken beyond recognition. I will make the hardest way for you, Aegon.”

He finally gave out on his anger, somewhat sensing the wrath growing on her heart. “Don’t become this cold, desolate, cunning self, Irina. I have never wished harm on you.” His long fingers brushed against her cheeks. “I know I have been selfish when it came to you. I won’t deny it. Never have I hurt anyone and I did to you. And none of it for the right reasons.” Irina sighed, realizing he was speaking about the marks on the shoulder. “Perhaps, everyone’s true nature could only be tested when they are in power. And I am shameful that I failed you, in many ways.” The confession was genuine, and she wanted to run away. _Don’t spill the truth… I like the sweet lies over the bitter truth. Just leave me be._ Her eyes glistened, suffocated with the sobs that she tried so hard to bury. “But remember that I wanted you alive. You could contemplate every willful negligence and cruelty in my administrations over you. But that was political. You would have done the same when you sit on my chair. You can ask anyone you trust. Ask Visenya… Ask Rhaenys… Seven Hells, ask Orys… He will explain to you why I had to do.” She couldn’t stop the tears. It burst out, the betrayal breaking her tiny heart. She didn’t think she could recover from this admission. That was why she never wanted to face it. She was seeing it all. The guards protecting the tower. The way he arrested her not to even let step out. It was all before her eyes, only she had shut the lids and refused to see it.

Her chest constricted while letting out the words. “You locked me up, Aegon. I was alone, scared, desperate to come out, and you lied… with so many words. With so many trinkets. You fed me bones like feeding a dog. You used my guileless nature to your advantage. You took advantage of my mind, of my body, of everything that belonged to me. I have never been broken like this. How could you do this and speak to me as though you are in the right?”

She yelled so loud, that the ravens fluttered in their cages, trying to come out. He didn’t flinch for my words. He simply brushed away the hair that flew between her eyes. “Visenya asked me to give your hand to Orys. Rhaenys suggested me a long list of loyalists name to send you away. Do you think I ignored it because I wanted to feed you like a dog? I like you, sister. I tried too hard not to run behind women other than the ones I married. I never wanted to become like our father. I hoped to overcome the urges. But every time I tried, I only ended up failing.”

“So…? If you have urges, then go visit a whorehouse. Why me? You promised me of love, the one thing yearned, the one thing you knew I was desperate of. You used it against me when you never had reservations of love in you to give me. Am I not right? Are you not in love with Rhaenys? Tell me if I am wrong. You wanted to fuck me, and so you kept me for yourself in the name of love.”

“I have more than an urge to fuck you. I want to own you and keep you to myself. I cannot in my right sense let any man come near you. It tickles every muscle in my body to think of another man laying his hand on you. But yes, I love Rhaenys. Have I ever denied that?”

“You cannot love two people at the same time,” Irina said glaringly. “That’s not possible.”

The corner of his lip curved slightly, a sad smile spreading. The wretched smile which made her almost pass out. The cruelty in that smile waved her a red flag of danger. He was flesh made of danger. She couldn’t even contemplate where his lies had begun and where it had ended. Did it begin after she came from the woods? The memories started flooding, one after the other. The time when he kept investigating for information about skin changing skills in the woods, brushing his nose up to her hair, taking her into the isolated forest. Irina had been a fool. No, a simpleton, to have thought that he wanted to know her better. He’d only wanted to evaluate how dangerous she was for his claim. Was it the only time he had used treachery? No, it was the night before, when she had beaten up that Terrance and she remembered so vividly of him confessing his polite, soft love, coaxing her to stay in Dragonstone. Irina really thought it was true, genuine, and he’d wanted her to be there with him. It was all sandcastles that she had built along the shores. And it had taken more than a year for the ocean to claim it.

Nothing that came from his lips seemed to have an ounce of truth. He’d only wanted her to be locked up in the tower, so she wouldn’t gain any allies to oppose him, to take his dragons, and so he’d concocted all lies. He’d learned her like learning a flower’s scent, an animal’s cry, a bird’s chirp, not a human’s feelings and she had let him in, to see her and feel her. She had given her body, soul, and everything bare to this man, naively assuming he was her brother and wouldn’t harm her.

Irina fell down on her knees, then, the world swirling too much for her to stop spinning. The thought that he’d used her for his own benefits made her look like the simplest fool ever to live. He’d given a household from her own treasury and had made her feel like she was being spared of the expenses. _Why hadn’t no one taught me to see through this malice? I had let him get into me, seep into my flesh, and take anything he had wanted without any objection._ Her skin was crawling with maggots at the thought of it.

Aegon leaned down, holding her hand, whispering apologies in air, speaking so many words about being right in his stance. Reasoning why he couldn’t trust a skin-changer and how it was needed to protect his family, to save the Targaryen’s legacy. He explained how it was their father’s mistake for writing a damn will? She didn’t need an explanation. Can a broken heart be fixed with mere words?

She cleared her sobbing throat. “When you took me from Orys’s holdfast…” The anguishing cries rippled in the air for her to swallow the pain. “Why did you hurt me?”

Aegon fell silent for once, seeking residence into her eyes. “No one can take you from me. It is not about Dragonstone. It is not about politics. It has nothing to do with anything other than my own sick head to have you all for me. I wanted to punish you after learning that you left me on your wills.”

 _That was even more fucked up._ Which deranged creature would think that way? “Do you do that to your wives?”

He shook his head, as though he had awarded her with a trophy for being special. Her balled fist slapped his chest, trying to pour out a year of agony. She kept hurting her, hoping he would die there, slowly in agony as she was dying inside. “Why me? I promised I would give up everything to you. Didn’t I? I gave you my words. Why did you have to hurt me? Why did you lie that you loved me only to keep me arrested? Why do you now break my heart? I was only a girl. I am still only a girl.”

Aegon pulled her into his chest, deafening the sobs as she muffled into his leather tunic, biting it so hard to not leash out the darkest anger of hers in the wildest forms. But she couldn’t. Irina simply wanted to escape the pain. The burning betrayal felt like a thousand bolts being stabbed into her chest. Not even the pain in her body that the monsters had inflicted, made her remorse like this. There were three hundred ravens around in that rookery and she switched beneath them, one after the other, and thudded against the steel cages, screaming of pain and wrath for what felt like hours. She had passed out then. Her limbs were numb, the birds were tired, and she’d lost some fire inside. When she woke up in Aegon’s chamber, he was closely looking at her through his half-lidded eyes.

He lurched to the bed, at the slightest movement of her body, and helped her sit up. “Drink this!” He offered water, and she threw it to the floor. Even tasting the breath of him made her shudder.

“What is your sick plan now? To rape me? Or to kill me?”

He flinched for the word. “I would never force on you, nor had I ever forced on you.”

She couldn’t deny what he said and that hurt more. She was never forced. She just did that to herself. Allowed him inside and let him break her, take her friends away, hold her up in a prison, and let her become his play toy. She couldn’t stop crying. She lost the fight even before it began. How to assemble these pieces of burden and endless pain?

Wrapping her in a cuddle, he made her cheek rest along with his heart and pulled her down to the soft feather bed. Each muscle of his body was trying to cover her as he pulled her on top of his body. Irina was too numb to feel anything other than to hear the beat of his heart, as he wholly tried to consume her in his embrace.

“Why did you do this to me, Aegon?”

“I feel more than lust for you, Irina.” He traced his left palm all over her spine, as the fingers of his right hand wove into her splayed hair. “That has nothing to do with you being a warg or not. It's beyond explanation. There is a pull in you and I can’t get out of that charm. And I like falling into it. You caught my attention, the day you fell into the ocean. I have never seen such stupid bravery commit by anyone. And I couldn’t sleep for days thinking of the girl who fell from a cliff and managed to throw away all my men from their saddle. I just wanted her for myself. A treasure… for me.”

She stayed still, just focusing on the beat of his heart. “Will you let me go?”

His hand stilled, and he shook his head. “Not without a war. If you want that and see your family die in your hands, you can choose that path. That will be the price you pay.”

“You are scared that I will win.”

“I know you will win.” He answered, shutting his eyes close.

“I could kill you this minute, Aegon.”

“Try then!!! The girl I knew would weave flowers on her hair, not take a blade in her hand.”

“You killed that girl.”

There was silence there, and she kept focusing on his heartbeat against his ribs, that held her from wandering into the depth of darkness in every passing second, wondering if she could pluck out that heart from his ribs. The beat was soothing her, and she loosened her fist that held his shirt and peeked her head to see his hard face, that almost resembled her father, Lord Aerion. Kind and charming, with no evilness in his head, he seemed so peaceful and harmless.

_Would I be ever able to kill this man and live peacefully? I couldn’t even kill Rhaenys. How could I kill him when a part of me still loves him? Do I have the power in me to fight against my family and see them die? What kind of life will I live after killing them?_

She knew this was a lost fight. She’d lost the war before it began. The last hope for her was to make the best out of this trail and gain something better than being a prisoner. But she swore to herself never to fall for his charm. Guard her heart to never let anyone inside. It was all her mistake, to trust easily, to love easily, to get wounded easily too. The harshest lesson that this cruel world had taught her. She wouldn’t repeat the same mistake again. She just wanted to live a better life. A respectable one where random old men wouldn’t ask for her hand, questioning her virtue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I am unsure how this has come. I was intending for this to happen later. But it was too much for me to extend it more than it required. Let me know.


	17. Picking Up The Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It became awfully big. Truly sorry. You guys take your time to read it slowly. I wanted a logical end to this chapter and the involvement of important details being unmissed along with character development.
> 
> Hope no would feel sad about it. Let me know if you enjoyed, though :)

Irina stood by the threshold of Aegon’s solar, taking a vague registration of the things she had spoiled. The furniture was broken into shreds. The blood from her foot was smeared everywhere in the carpet, evident of all broken things, including her heart. The tapestries were torn to dust. She had thought of burning the whole chamber, but she realized it was the tower–her prison that needed to be burned down.

Aegon said nothing when he carried her to the golden prison, after asking the guards and maids to clean his place. His eyes admonished her, calling out her anger as a petulant behavior of a child when he left her in the true cave.

Even then, he remained mum, knowing her temper couldn’t be calmed by any more words or probably he didn’t want to act like he cared, now that the truth was out in the air. The tragic truth that he never loved her, not even an ounce. She couldn’t determine which wounded her more. The fact that he was not in love with her or the fact that she gave her love to a man who didn’t deserve it.

He left her to reflect on her actions. And she regretted of not squeezing Aegon’s neck and see him suffer under her hands, begging for mercy. If he so much as came towards her, she might have gladly taken his life. She was conflicted. Dancing on a thin rope, struggling to choose between being sane or fall in the infamous madness, as both fought to drag her down to their side.

Aegon didn’t care enough to come and help her or calm her as he’d done before. He wouldn’t. Why would he? He’d only acted on guilt, never on love. He’d stayed in her chamber when he’d injured her body and she’d caught the flu. Only when he’d caused her pain did his kind love came out on display. Else, she was merely discarded for months, except for the time when he was lusting after her. It was so pathetic to think that Irina desperately clung to that sympathy and assumed it to be love.

 _She hated herself._ Had she seen his actions rather than the words, she could have seen through those delicate webs of lies.

The storm came raging, the next day, thunderbolts striking to shake the ground. The maddening vicious God’s wrath was the only anchor for her to the world now. She relished from the fact that the Gods were capable of threatening all the lives, simply because they could. They were the ultimate power. No number of dragons could fight against them. _Oh, how she wished to gain such power!!!_

No, she had that power, already. She was threatening her family’s existence. She hadn’t allowed herself to think she was capable of harm unless to protect herself. But, the truth was, none believed it. She laughed like a mad girl, while her head pondered of all the ways to kill them all. There was the easiest trick. When a dragon rider was not mounted on a dragon, he would be nothing more than a normal man. Rhaenys was proof of that. She could easily take them all. Who knew what she could do, even if they came with a dragon?

Wouldn’t it be even more thrilling to warg into their dragons, and strip them of their power, and see how they succumb, at her mercy?

The thought of it made her sad. _She loved Aegon, still._ The image of seeing him bent on his knees made her heartache. She couldn’t even get to think it without tears spilling down. She felt more vicious, cunning which was not how her father brought her up to be. She only wanted to be loved. She never had hurt anyone’s ego or pride. She’d admired strength and kindness. There was no kindness to hurt the ones she loved. Only then, she realized how cruel Aegon’s trap was. He knew her well enough to know what would keep her loyalty to him. It was not gold, not gems, not precious stones, or pretty gowns. She only craved for this silly love and care, to be valued and recognized and he’d given her the right amount, like throwing a bone to a dog, to have her loyalty bound to him.

He’d asked her same in the forest that day _The dog’s nature, to be faithful…_

As days went by, she became too desolate, unattached to the world, where there was nothing to cling on. Alone, brooding, tending to the ache that was plunging throughout her body, she kept her vision in line with the rain that graced her porch. The maids came to clean the chamber, asking her numerous questions that didn’t reach her senses. The Maester chided her for harming herself when he tended her wound. She couldn’t bring herself to allow any sympathy.

The sky wept day and night, compensating for all her unshed tears, and showering it on the dead bird that laid on the tower’s porch. It was almost a fortnight since the storm had begun since she had shut the world out from her head since she had started withdrawing from what she had assumed to be joyful life. There was no joy sparking anywhere. There was no life around her. There was no hope to hold on to. Everything was meaningless. Even while climbing a high steep mountain, a man would need a tiny rock to hold on to. For her, there was nothing as such. No rock, no love, no life, only bleak passage of emptiness and she couldn’t cry. Her tears had dried. Even for the dead Kookaburra, in which her mother had resided, she couldn’t grieve. She tried hard. To feel something for the bird. To acknowledge that her mother had actually passed away, for once and for all. But she couldn’t. What was the point in crying?

_Lady Agnes was never there for me. She died before her time, leaving me to the vultures. My father was a liar, just like my brother. And my whole life is made of sand-castle, where treachery was added like salt to food._

Slowly, with time, she started slipping out of sanity. When she looked down at the well rounded-porch, the metal spiked ground gave an embracing welcome. One small slip and she would die, but even this death was not permanent. She regretted of bonding with animals. Had she known that death would not be permanent, and how death was vital as life itself, she would have refrained herself from bonding.

The train of thoughts bedazzled her at one point. She’d always fought to live, never to die. No wealth, no success, no privilege would not be enough in this world to live. Wasn’t it? The dripping water droplets that strike against the bird’s feather, was the only sound she focused on, even when the sky roared in madness.

And she slipped away, to see the sweetest memories of her life. The memories with her father, when the storm had come once, and he chose to stay the night in the tower with her to tell the tales of his fondness, by the porch. The little girl in his arms was plump, her cheeks thick as apples, but the innocence in that nine-year-old was too beautiful to hate, too delicate to break. _How much did his absence change me as a person? It is not even a year since he left. I should have grown up when he was alive. He would have held me when I fell and would have tended my wounds with love. Now, I have no one but myself._

“It is the Gods way to show their wrath.” Lord Aerion was saying, in his iron-clad voice, that softened for little Irina. “To cleanse the Kingdoms. Thousands of castles with their greedy Kings will perish by the time the storm calms. But not even a stone on Dragonstone can be moved, for they are raised from the same sorcery that Old Valyria was built on.”

The little girl was giggling as she often thought those tales were untrue fantasies. Wild fantasies of an old man who kept mulling over his roots from where he came from. With her thick pout mouth, she asked, “What indeed happened to Old Valyria, father?”

He gave her a sad smile, just like Aegon. “Blood magic is deadly if handled with perfunctory, child. The doom was the curse the Gods showered on the mighty Valyria for their greediness. The want never fades for the ones who seek for more. The younger dragons were eaten by the older. Blood of blood, kins of kins, siblings from the same seed, chased each other for the lust of blood, and power of the throne. Dragons crave for blood, but not their own. They shun and shrink if you feed them the blood of your kin.”

“So all the dragons died in Valyria. Is that the doom?”

“No… Not all. The minor lords, who were weak to fight stayed behind in their castles, only watching the power-hungry wealthy lords to fight. The dragons, which didn’t drink the blood of their brothers, remained sane for a while. But they wouldn’t stay in the mightiest civilization. The blood lust was driving them to the war zone, but the blood magic with which the Old God Aegarax rose them up didn’t allow those dragons to feed on their own blood. So, they fled, leaving their bonded masters to warmth wherever they could find.”

“Like Dragonstone??” The girl asked naively.

“Like Dragonstone.” Her father agreed. “And when Lady Daenys dreamed of the doom, Lord Aenar took his dragons and sold his castle in Valyria, seeking residence here in Dragonstone. The warmth of Dragonmont has been the home for dragons that fled from Valyria and the dragons that came with Aenar.”

The little girl snuggled into his chest. Every time the thunder had come, she submerged into the thoughts of dragons and Old Valyria. Irina remembered that feeling as she saw herself. “So, we were weaker lords in Valyria?”

Her father’s kind face was replaced with ferocity. He answered crisply. “We survived. That’s what matters. All those boasting lords struggled for power and killed their own, enslaved innocent men and women to build their mansions and castles. Drugged men, women, and children to their beds. Plucked babes from mother’s arms to march armies. And when their dragons refused to bend to their wills and wanted to leave Valyria because of the blood lust, they used pureblood magic, summoning the red-priestesses and sacrificed their own young children. It worked very well for them, for a while. Other than the one that escaped from Old Valyria, all the other dragons grew faster, submitted to their master sooner. Plenty of wars and plenty of blood spilled until the Gods raged and destroyed every life that ever lived in that land. So, yes… We were a minor house with no power to fight. And that is why we survived for good.”

“Why can’t no one claim Aegerax?”

“That bloody dragon was drawn to the blood lust in Valyria and entered into the war on its own, as it was not bonded to a rider. Only a bonded dragon can be controlled. This one went on its own and burned so many men and women. It fought with other dragons and had a taste of its kin’s blood. The madness wouldn’t leave even when Aenar brought it back to Dragonstone.”

The girl nodded like she understood, just so she wouldn’t appear dumb. “Why wouldn’t you give me a dragon?”

“I gave you an egg.” His eyes sparkled with defiance as he pinched her nose. “You will wait for your egg to hatch, and you will bond with it. It is very likely for you to bond with hatchling than what Aenar bought from Old Valyria. Will you promise not to go anywhere near Dragonmont?” The girl nodded, her one hand clutching to the crystal blue scales of the egg, while the other tightening against her father’s thick wrist, staring at the water drizzling down her father’s feet.

Irina was dragged out of the dream by an invisible force, and she started suffocating. It didn’t seem to be a dream. It was more real. She heard her father. She saw him just like how she saw her mother, once, in cold wastelands, in all flesh and scent. All the more, she realized there were so many secrets that were hidden in this castle. So many secrets hidden in her own father’s words. So many secrets in her own blood. She screamed and wailed, searching for the dead bird. It wasn’t there. Someone must have cleaned it. Obviously, she didn’t care for the bird when it had died, but the tears were blinding her, when she was desperate to be with the ones who truly loved her, once.

The storm slowly calmed the coming week, and she kept pondering over her father’s words about Valyria and dragons. She had nothing else to think about. So, she explored the uncovered mystery of her lineage while her fingers brushed against the cold crystal blue dragon egg. Something was wrong. She sensed it. The she-dragon Aegerax was cursed. Her father had said the same. He once said how the great dragon wouldn’t let him bond properly. A pure intuition triggered her to play with her assumptions and she placed the dragon egg in the hearth which she’d clung to day and night as a child. In mere hours, she found black ashes in the hearth, replaced for the egg.

She stared at the hearth, searching for some tiny dragon to pop out. ‘Fire can’t kill a dragon’. Surely fire could haven’t killed a dragon or a dragon-egg for that matter. But no dragon came out of it, except for dark sand-like matter in the hearth, proving her dreadness.

* * *

Irina felt oddly calm. There was rage in her heart, the fresh betrayal from everyone festering, but she wasn’t throwing any fit. She had to stop reflecting on other’s impact on her life and focus only on herself now. She administered her little prison and found it satisfyingly clean, ordered. Fit for a civilized conversation and take a little control over her life.

It was around noon when Visenya came. “I assume you have a lot of questions to ask?”

“So many… But before all that, I want this wedding to happen. So, I can leave this hell and have my freedom.” Irina spilled it all out. There was nothing to hide in that regard to Visenya.

Visenya didn’t find it convincing. Her sister scanned Irina from head to toe with apprehension. Visenya had sharp features. Her eyes were always dark, calculative, wary of the surrounding, wary of Irina herself. “Do you know what responsibilities you hold in a marriage?”

She wouldn’t in her right sense call this a marriage. A marriage required trust, hope, protection, and some part of love, even if it was merely for merging power and wealth. Even if she was a hopeless, stupid girl, she had seen her mother and father to know what a true marriage was supposed to be. She wasn’t a fool to think any of those would be there for her in this arrangement. Suddenly, she realized she was sharing more traits with Visenya than she had given credit to. In fact, she was getting a glimpse of why Visenya was too dark and cold to everyone. Giving a long sigh, she nodded. “I vaguely remember what the ministresses had taught me. Rest assured, I will keep up the appearances as you want.”

“Your loyalty lies to the family, sister. If you have any idiotic thoughts to betray this family and kill us all in an odd fashion-”

“I want to choke every one of your throats, till I see blood pouring out of all your eyes,” Irina said with no remorse. In fact, she had dreamed of it more than she should be, lately. “Don’t mistake that I have any care for this family. I was deceived and betrayed by every one of you. _Even you!!!_ You wouldn’t have as much as cared for me, if not for my warging skills.” Irina couldn’t let her emotions come down. “But, I grew up sticking up to this filth called family, that I am unable to get rid of it. Somewhere along the way, you all got stuck to me. I won’t betray anyone. Even without this wedding, I won’t. I will consent to this wedding. I want it to be over…”

“I assume you didn’t call me to share your wedding plans. Rhaenys will know better if you dream of such extravagant-”

“No… I don’t care about how many lords attend this stupid ceremony. I have demands to be made to all the three of you. If you really want this to work, it goes two ways and unless you three are ready to agree on my terms, we can drop this plan.”

“Fine…” Visenya ended that conversation. “Bring your terms on the table and we will see what we can do. But before all those, remember that I am the firstborn of this house and Aegon’s first wife. Don’t utter something crazy that will make me break your neck.”

Irina gave a wry smile. She wished she had that tenacity of her dark sister. Perhaps she might have if she had been treated better or had given an option to claim a dragon. Irina’s eyes lingered on the burned down egg. She didn’t even want to think about how the world would see her as Aegon’s third wife. “I want to meet Orys before all this. He will want to know.”

Visenya peered at the hearth, before directing her blazing stare at Irina. “Did you put your dragon egg in the hearth?”

“Yes…” Irina regarded it as coolly as possible, before meeting the dark sister’s amused glance. “You look too amused, sister. Have you known all this time that even father fooled me by giving a cursed dragon egg?”

“Cursed???” Visenya strode elegantly, closing Irina’s perimeter. “How did you come to that conclusion?”

Irina gave a small smile before shaking her head. “It doesn’t matter. So, you do know that it was cursed all this time? Don’t tell me the whole family knew except me.”

“It was father’s way to stop making you roam anywhere around the lairs. He had warned us all to never let out the truth. Even your mother was consenting to this plan.” _Fuck…_ She hated to hear it in all words. She’d wanted to believe it was a mistake from her father’s end. That he actually didn’t know that the dragon egg was cursed. Her face gave it all away to Visenya. Eyes blinding with tears, cheeks turning into furious red, throat swallowing the hard truth was giving away the torments from inside. She was determined to not allow anyone to show her weakness, but her natural pathetic self came out in light sobs. Her father was the only person she’d trusted. It seemed even he was not trustworthy. “He did it for your own good. You were just a child then, and you have strange blood. I am not fully aware of your mother’s bloodline, but the odd combination might put you in threat if you enter Dragonmont.”

Irina never heard Visenya speak softly. Not to her, at least. Most of the time her sister only warned or managed to breathe fire. Hells… Her sister so much as went on to burn her once, from Vhagar. But this voice was somewhat of a comfort. Still, it didn’t get missed that the heartbreaking truth was, even her father didn’t have faith in her as a Targaryen. No wonder her siblings had shared the same belief. _How could he let me clutch to that egg, like my life was depending on it and never let me know the truth?_ It was painful to think even he’d betrayed her. She was the one in mistake. She should have known when he’d sheepishly glanced at her, every time she’d pondered about the egg. Or how oddly Aegon behaved when she’d requested of him to let her go near Aegerax. She never took cues of their signal. _Innocent and stupid head!!! Blindly putting trust in everyone…_

“You should choose one dragon from the lairs after your marriage gets consummated,” Visenya said, looking down at Irina in sympathy. Irina didn’t miss how effortlessly her sister spoke about the consummation of the wedding. Her cheeks didn’t burn at the thought of it like it would have when she’d remained a stupid girl getting shy to be around Aegon. This was just another ritual to tie her to the family.

“I don’t think Aegon will approve of me going anywhere near the dragon.”

“Do you remember the time you stumbled into my chamber with that dragon egg, asking my help to hatch it?” Irina simply glared, carefully monitoring every word of Visenya’s for some lie. But she couldn’t find any at least for now. “If it gives you any comfort, I am not skilled enough to hatch a cursed egg that came from the doom. Aegarax laid it after coming to Dragonstone, but it was cursed by then.” The naive, stupid girl would have thought Visenya was telling this out of love, but she knew better now. There was more to this notion of offering Irina to take a dragon. An ultimate motive… was hidden.

“Can you hatch an uncursed egg?”

Visenya gave a twitch of her lips. “There are many things possible with blood magic. Giving life, taking life, bringing life. So many things… But all with a price…”

“The same price that Valyria paid?”

“Worse…” Visenya admitted. “Father never liked I played with blood magic. He was equally fascinated and scared of the adverse effects of it. That is another tale to be shared at another time. Don’t mull over that father had discredited you. He should have let you claim a grown dragon. Even I insisted on that. Had he listened to choose an easy path, there wouldn’t have been any rumors of you being a simpleton. But our old man was desperate to keep you alive. He didn’t want to lose what remained of his dearest wife.”

Irina felt a sudden guilt for guessing wrong in everything. Sure, her sister had some motive. But, perhaps, Visenya truly cared for family and expressed in odd ways. And her father was adamant in keeping Irina alive, so much that he had locked her in a tower and isolated her from the court. It was all for good intention, to never let her get hurt by anyone, even with words. _Well, look, Father, where your over-protectiveness brought me to!!! I am always at other’s mercy!!!_ It took a while for Irina to compose herself. “He indeed did love his wife. I don’t think father had it in him to hate your mother, either. I am sure he loved everyone bound by blood. Even Orys was not abandoned like other lords would do.”

Visenya scoffed. “Tell that to my mother’s grave. She fell off from a high tower, unable to go on to live a life with my father.” That passed a huge current of shock into her bones and blood. She hadn’t known how Lady Valaena had passed away. The fact that the lady took her life was itself news to her. For a while, Irina scanned Visenya for any traces of hatred. But her sister’s face gave nothing away. “Aegon has gone to track after these men who are coming to our lands. There are queer tales of their reason to come here. No one has complete information but… they are searching to take you if my assumptions are right.”

“Me???” She was struggling with facts. Shocking facts that were shaking her roots. “Why me? They wanted a dragon or a dragon rider.”

“Indeed… We will speak about all those in detail after your wedding… after the consummation.”

Irina rolled her eyes. “Did you even have one for yourself to force it on me? How different this marriage would be with or without it?”

“Well, for one, I am not posing a threat as you. And I will cut Aegon’s cock before he came to dangling it anywhere near me because I am capable of it, unlike you.”

Her cheeks burned now, haunted by the memory of the only cock she had known, which was not the one she should linger on. The tinkling monster had shoved his stinking one down her throat, and the thought of it made her whole body tremble. _I cut it off, though. I can’t keep sulking about it for my whole life._ “Why would you doubt I am incapable of it? I am no different from you in this marriage, sister. He had made it clear.”

“Is it?” Visenya gave an amused smile. “That is a comfort for me. But he never as much gave a sideways glance at my direction as he is swooning over you. He will demand his rights and you better prepare for it. Besides, the lords will be happy to see that your marriage is consummated and cannot be broken even if they want to. That is what more important in this marriage.” That was a command that even Aegon wouldn’t shower on Irina as like Visenya. Irina didn’t brood over it. One night, one ritual, she could bear with it and leave this place. “I will see what I can do about Orys.”

“Visenya…” Irina called, a small desperation in the voice coming out before her sister was about to leave. “You initiated this wedding plan.” She merely stated, instead of a question. Visenya was confused with that statement. Even Irina was confused about why she was asking it. “Why?”

Her sister thought for a while before answering. “Why else? You are a skin-changer. It benefits our house if we stay united. And benefits more in future wars. Aegon should have known it and done it before. He is just a blind fool.”

Irina gave a whisper of a smile. She understood Aegon wouldn’t have agreed on this wedding unless it was needed for the merge of power. Some part of her was desperate in wishing to think he had always invested in marrying her. But no… He would have simply made her a mistress and given so many bastard children had she not possessed any powers or Visenya was not there to force this. She’d sensed it a while back while licking her wounds. Now it became clear. The devastating truth had so much less impact. Perhaps she was becoming resilient to pain now. _After all, she had only one heart. How many times could it be broken?_

* * *

Speaking with Orys seemed to be much tougher than she’d imagined. He did not take it lightly. He stated that their sire would have never allowed for such atrocity. Or she was too young to be married. She had listened it somberly. Not that she was able to accept his martyr speech when he proclaimed he would fight Aegon face to face, sword to sword, one to one. She couldn’t accept it, not because she didn’t believe Orys would win, but because it would make no difference.

If not Aegon, then it would be some other lord. And if her father had cared well enough, he should have settled her life before leaving this world. She didn’t know where the resentment started spreading against everyone, but slowly it was accumulating her heart. Even for Orys… When Orys rambled about taking her away, she felt disappointed. Utterly despised that he had not come when she needed him. He had not fought with Aegon to see her. He should have fought. It wouldn’t have been a great discovery for Orys to figure it out what was happening. Would it?

 _I was the one in dreamy love, not Orys._ He should have... Probably, he realized, but now beating himself up for not acting to it, much later when the damage was done. Or it could be that he hadn’t bothered much. Her old self would have never doubted such things, but now, well, she couldn’t bring to trust anyone easily.

She finally made him listen. “There is nothing much to do about this situation, Orys. I made peace about it. Will you get over it?”

“You don’t have to, sister,” Orys said and kneeled before her chair. His thick palms held her small wrist, bringing it to his heart. “How in the right sense I can let this happen? I had been close to Aegon. Who wouldn’t be? He was charismatic, enigmatic, and a decent man. He was the only person I could bond with as a family, other than Father who had little respect for my life. But even he never addressed me as a brother, Irina. Not like you. I know no woman in my life, except you.”

Involuntarily, a part of her heart ached to lean on his shoulders. She wanted to cry and spill all her sad tales. He had been there for her, even when he was unaware of her warging powers. He’d taken her to fresh lakes and had taught her to catch fish. He’d never missed her name days. He’d been there when she was no one to this world. Perhaps her head was too fucked up to accept such love. _Perhaps she just didn’t deserve such love._ No one could love her!!! _She was not a beautiful girl, not a girl who could get a man’s attention._ She remembered how pathetically she once had asked him to marry her and he’d simply rejected. No one would love her truly. But Orys was not to be blamed for her misery. How could she do that to him? Irina gave out a small sad smile, hoping he would not drag her farther in his mission. “It is not a bad deal to marry him, Orys. As you said, he is a decent human. Besides, it is the only choice.”

“I don’t think so,” Orys said, warily looking at the door once, to see for intruders. “Visenya sent me to guard Lady Alarra Massey, after the incident with the Pentoshis. Recently, I met Lord Massey, and he wants his only daughter back. He says the lords are unhappy after what happened to their daughters in Dragonstone. Lord Bar Emmon had openly accused Aegon of being incapable of even protecting little girls. Lady Jirelle Crabb died of an injury from falling off the horse, and the Lord was not kind to Aegon when he had sent her body.” Irina blanked, remembering the details. It was from Irina that Aegon had failed to protect those girls. She had killed them. “The lord had once opposed Aegon’s decision to seat himself overthrowing you. If he knows what you are capable of…”

Irina sighed. “If he ever learns of what I am capable of, he will back me up with all the lords. And I will have to kill all three of my siblings. Because they will fight to the world’s end. And after that, do you really believe they will let me live?” Irina was the one who killed those girls. Not Rhaenys. Not Aegon. The blood was in her hands. And if the lords ever come to learn of it… Lady Alarra knew who was the cause of those girls’ death. The lady would definitely spill to someone, which could be the reason why Visenya had sent her to be in Orys’s Keep to be guarded.

“You will have Aegon’s dragon in control.”

“And I will be a bigger threat, which they will want to eliminate. Lord Massey has no wife alive, so he will marry me and put a child in me. Once that child sees the world, he will kill me because I pose a threat that will be beyond for them to understand.” Orys, for his part, didn’t blatantly refuse. The only lesson her father had kept reciting like a lullaby was never to reveal her power. “I need them as much as they need me, Orys. Visenya said the men in East are trying to take me, not the actual dragon-riders. In fact, I am benefitting out of this too.”

Orys pulled her to his arms, hugging her so as to light the burden. “When did you grow up?”

“I think after I came out from your holdfast.” They both stifled a laugh. “Will you be on my side on this matter?” He placed a warm kiss on her forehead.

* * *

“You will not speak anything unless I ask you to,” Irina warned, clutching to Orys’s wrist. Her brother barely consented, if someone could call his grunt of response as consent. But she didn’t want him to blather anything to Aegon that was not required. “I will do all the talking.”

“Why do you want me here, if not for frightening them?”

“Moral support, brother. You are the only one I trust. Remember?” She patted his arms but felt more like patting herself.

Aegon gave a warm smile directed at her when she entered the well-furnished chamber in Stone Drum Tower. But his face instantly soured when he found Orys. He didn’t bother to ask anything, but his eyes were already challenging her with a question that was on the tip of his tongue.

_She gave horseshit about his insecurities._

Rhaenys had protectively looped her arm around Aegon’s, subtly indicating her place next to him. Irina wouldn’t deny that it didn’t hurt when Aegon gently pulled Rhaenys’s shoulder towards him. It stung so badly. Would he keep doing this, every time they gather? Irina gave her best to conceal her emotions. She could not let this affect her and let them win. If it was a fight, she had to face it with pride.

Visenya, unbothered by any of this, leaned in. “Wedding is planned in a fortnight. The seamstress must have taken your measurement. Didn’t she?” Irina shook her head, not remembering anything as such. Even during her delirious time, she was somewhat aware of who came and left her chamber. “The woman said the dress is almost ready. If she didn’t take any measurement-”

“Why don’t we speak about the important details, rather than the gowns and foods? I have already taken care of it.” Aegon said curtly.

His words made no sense at first. Not until Rhaenys pulled away from Aegon in shock and anger. Well, that was a victory. He’d done this even in the past. Buying Irina trinkets and decorating her like a doll to his taste. Somewhere she felt lightened that he cared enough to do it, but then she realized what she was for him. _Just a fancy thing…_

“I didn’t come here to speak about the wedding itself, Aegon. I came here to put my demands if I have to agree on this wedding at all.”

Aegon leaned back in his chair, visibly shocked. Pursing his tight lips, he started tapping the wooden table with his long fingers and turned around to glower at Visenya, who offered her infamous amused smile. So, Visenya hadn’t given him all the details. “Haven’t we discussed the need for this marriage in my chamber?” Aegon asked, but his eyes were set on Orys.

“No. Only you spoke and I listened. Now, it is time for you to listen to my demands.”

“Demands???” Rhaenys snorted. “How will you make any demands when you are the one in desperate need?”

“Am I, sister?” Irina glowered, warning Rhaenys not to assume her place. She was not there to take insults from Rhaenys. Instantly Rhaenys took the cue of the warning and cowered, sulking back. “You three have taken up my rightful inheritance, even though none of you are my guardian. Trust me, if I wanted a guardian, I would have chosen Orys. Not any of you three. Besides, you have started indulging in all pleasures, draining the treasury that belongs to Dragonstone, which obviously should have been mine, by all laws. Is it going to be a trouble to hear my demands?”

Aegon simmered, his fingers clutching. It felt good. So good to see him get roused. She was not going to allow him ever to walk over her. “Speak!” He said grimly.

“Well, for one, I need all the rights to access the treasury.”

“Aegon is the one who has access to it because he is the lord of Dragonstone.” Rhaenys interfered.

“That has to change now. I am not going to coerce him every time to hire my own guards or maids or do whatever the fuck I want.” Irina answered sharply.

The chamber remained dead silent. No one made a move. She wondered if her tone was too curt, too malice, too spiteful. Aegon’s leaned forward to the table, and slowly snaked his arm towards her palms, softly feathering her knuckles. “Irina, what sort of ridiculous demands are you making?” His strong tone made her feel like a child who had done something insane. Perhaps this whole meeting was played out on the stupidity of her own insecurities. But what was she supposed to do, when she wouldn’t be the respected wife? He clearly stated his love for her, which would be nothing.

“Nothing ridiculous in asking what she deserves, Aegon,” Orys answered in his formidable tone, forcing Irina to withdraw her hand from Aegon. “By rights, it is all hers. She shouldn’t be even asking you all such things. On what trust should she offer her hand to you? What will she do if your own guards rape her? What if she becomes the invaluable wife for you neglect and reject later?”

Irina was glad Orys spoke for her. It seemed she was easily melting for the Dragon’s words, just like the old fool who never differentiated lies. Aegon retorted. “This marriage needs trust. How is she going to–”

“No, Aegon.” She answered with anguish. “Don’t paint any colors to this. We both know this is a marriage of convenience, a mere medium to make me submit to this house.” She didn’t want to admit that he had wanted her to submit to him. That was pricking her pride. “And I need stability. I can’t run to you to fulfill every little need of mine.”

Aegon seemed utterly thrown back, as though he hadn’t expected her to speak in such way. Of course, the old, stupid girl would have praised him for throwing bones. Not now. Visenya was the one who broke the tension. “A share of profit in your name will be allocated and will be given to the steward to maintain. Our old steward has retired. So, the details of how many shares can be discussed when we appoint a new one. But when our house is in need of coins, it will be pulled back for the common cause. Is that fine?”

Irina accepted. Aegon’s shocked gaze was set upon Irina as though he was seeing some strange person. Shocked and bewildered, her brother didn’t even utter a word. His eyes might have made her feel guilty once, but not now. Only when Visenya cleared her throat, she remembered about the dragons? “After the wedding, I want to claim a dragon.” It was so rehearsed. Nothing like her own reasons. It was Visenya’s words in her voice.

“Dragon?” Aegon’s unamused voice was piercing into her eyes. “Father gave you a dragon egg.”

Orys snorted. “Are we going to count everything that father gave in to her account? You didn’t like to give her the whole inheritance, but more than happy to give her only the cursed dragon egg.”

Aegon was getting triggered. His control over the situations being completely taken away from him was making him lose patience. Rising abruptly from the wooden chair, he paced for some time, clearly disliking to see her ask worthy demands. His eyes back and forth moved to Visenya and Orys. He was not liking their interference. Well, he knew he couldn’t control Irina’s decisions with them by her side. He always craved to exert that control on her, unlike now. She was not going to put up with his feigned interest, either.

“After the wedding, I will allow. But it will be done in my time, my trust, and my patience. Not under any of your commands.”

Orys tried to reject, but Irina held his arms, forcing it to let it go. When Lord Aerion himself had little trust that she could claim a dragon, there was no point in expecting it from Aegon. She was blessed with other gifts from her mother’s side than taking a flight.

“Is that all, sweet sister?” Rhaenys asked in her gentlest of voices. “All these days I thought you to be a person with no greediness, only simple loveliness. It seems your facade is falling too soon.”

Irina was unaffected by such an insult. In fact, she should have done this when her father had passed away and took a proper portion and lived a secured, wealthy life. She was too young and too stupid then. Now, she wasn’t insulted for demanding what she deserved. “I will not hole up in that tower anymore. And I don’t want any of your guards circling my tower or anywhere in my vicinity. I will hire my own.”

“Fine!!!” Aegon screamed, almost demanding her to stop her demands. “Is that it, Irina?”

“No…” She answered resolutely. “You will not stop me from leaving this castle. I am my own person and you will respect my rights to leave and come at my wish. I need freedom.”

Tapping his fingers on the wooden table, he subtly asked both Visenya and Rhaenys to leave, pointing his finger to the door. When Visenya gave him an odd glance, he politely said, “I will agree to every whim of hers just as you wished, Visenya. Give me a moment with her.” Irina didn’t want a moment. She wanted to be done with him. Once her sisters left, he approached Orys. “What a loyal man you are, brother!!!” His tone was laced with poison. “Have you planned to take her to your bed, after I wed her or before I wed her?”

“Aegon, don’t do this.” She warned.

“Obviously, after I wed. That is why she is keen on asking for her freedom to come and go as she wishes. And wouldn’t you like to have a taste of my leftover? After all, you are a bast-”

She was on her feet already, almost ready to hit him, when Orys stopped her. “You are not the first one to call me a bastard, Aegon, and you won’t be the last, either. I have been with Irina, for worst and best. Your words are not going to change any of that. So, step down from your high ass chair and listen to her, if you really want to work this out.” Orys said it out begrudgingly and walked away, leaving them both. Probably he was hurt and trying to hide it.

Aegon came closer to her. “What is happening, sister? He is sincerely upset that you are marrying me. Did he profess his love for you?”

“Do you have no respect for me? Am I a mere piece of flesh to be shared and used?” He didn’t give a response, but his amusement withered away. “If you can’t treat me with respect, there is no point in this marriage. You may think I am demanding for my selfish wants. But my only want is to gain respect from all the three of you.”

“And what about my selfish wants, Irina? You want a share from the treasury, which no lord would ever do. Fine with me. I care for all my sisters to give anything they want. You should know about it. Dragons??? I thought, well, you need to prove a point to demand bigger. Especially things that are beyond your control. So I let that one slip. Besides, I knew who pushed you to demand it. And finally, like a nail to a coffin, you demand to come and leave as you wish? So, should I sit here knitting sweater when you wander to other men’s home and come back with their cum in your cunt?”

“You are disgusting.” She spat. She forgot that he would stoop low with his words. He’d been always like this, hurting her with insults. And she had slapped him, beat his chest, begged him to not be mean, but none of it had changed him. Well, she was done putting with that shit. She was no more the stupid girl. She just walked away. She had black blood flowing in her veins now.

Pushing open the door, she barged out, not listening to his voice that demanded her to stop and speak with him. She didn’t care. He kept hollering as she swiftly walked, wondering if he was bothering only because he was too desperate that this marriage should happen. As she made her way down the stairs, he came running, halting her by twisting her shoulder. “Are you not going to listen?”

“I will not marry you if you treat me like shit. Was I not clear there?” She seethed. Her hands were already pushing away his chest with which he was blocking her to move.

He looked confused. It took some time for him to realize she was not going to back down. “I am sorry. I shouldn’t have put it that way.” She scoffed. “Look, the lords will take a note of where you go and come. It won’t matter if you are in the right or not. They will discredit your virtue for not being with me.”

“How come you can have three wives and want us all to adjust, but never as much as let me go to my own brother’s home? Oh, well, you never bothered when it comes to your loved wives. You speak all this filth, only when it comes to me. Isn’t it?” Irina knew Rhaenys left wherever she wished in her dragon. Besides, if he had noticed of her disappearance he would long back figured she was not true to him. And all Irina had done was to love him, only to end up hearing this non-sense.

The truth burned too bright for him to deny. He dragged his finger along his hair and responded in a dull tone. “There are certain demands that I can’t fulfill just because you want, Irina. You have privileges that you are entitled to as my wife.” She listened. “I give you more than any man will be ready to. And of course, I will respect you. But expecting me to leave you anywhere you wish…?” He took her face in his palms, delicately brushing her cheeks with his thumb, while his eyes grazed over her lips, earnestly. She knew he was eager to kiss her, claim her, make her feel belonged to him. But she couldn’t allow him anymore. Not like the other times. It would hurt her miserably. “I want you all for myself.” He said softly.

“You lost the right of it, Aegon. While I promise to be loyal to you, I won’t let you hurt me again. I need my freedom. It is either that or no more talk of marriage.” She dragged down his hand away from her face.

He finally surrendered. “You can leave with my permission. There won’t be any guards to arrest you or stop you. But I am trusting that you will let me know if you wish to leave anywhere.”

She walked down, not afford to see his face. Perhaps she was scared of melting down in his arms. A part of her enjoyed that craziness in him to seek for her more than his wives. But he would never love. She was merely a strange obsession and it would wean off after marriage. Right now, Irina felt delicious in tasting victory. She got everything she wanted. _She won’t settle for less._


	18. Defiance And Repentance

Irina gawked at the seagull which warily perched up near her head, looking back and forth to fly away. Pecking on the crab which drilled a hole into the wet sand, the seagull took flight to sky. Freedom… Nature… Joy… She started enjoying every second with no regret, no restraints, no shackles. Coughing out all the saltwater from her lungs, as ocean spat her out, she laughed like a maniac rolling to rest on her back on the salty sand, when the drizzling rain cleansed her. The first day she’d come, she’d screamed and jumped into the water, and had cried. She’d cried for missing out on this life. She’d cried for the lost freedom. No more tears, anyway. All the defiance acts she’d done against her family kept her feet floating above in the air.

Her long dark-brown strands were wet, and she had to crawl moving to the dry shore. This was her first step in breaking her brother’s rule. She never left to the castle until the sun would come down.

“Take this to cover yourself, my lady.” The old man, Paxter, wrapped her with a cloak and she struggled to stand without his help. “You strained yourself too much.” He lamented the complaint coming out. “More than the other days. You went too far in the ocean.”

“I won, as I said I would. Those lots couldn’t reach where I had gone.” She gleamed, but he didn’t share her joy. Of course, the old man wouldn’t. Aegon had taken him out of service because her brother assumed Paxter hadn’t done his duty, which was to protect her and the ladies who were supposedly attacked. It took four days, and Orys’s help, to locate his house, in which he was getting wasted away. With no family and no duty, he looked the shell of a man when she’d finally found him. And he had cried, begging her to forgive for not protecting her. It was a devastating event. He had done no wrong. Irina had sent him away to not let him involve with Terrance and Rhaenys. So, she’d requested him to come under her service, and had promised to share meat and mead, which the old man had accepted with reluctance.

There was more than one reason for taking him back. He had been a loyal old man, even in her father’s service. He would give his life if needed. Above all that, this was the second ‘fuck you’ to Aegon. The moment her brother had discovered who she’d hired, his nostrils had flared and green veins in his neck ticked that she’d wondered if he would change into Balerion. After all, the castle knew Aegon had dismissed Paxter. Someone would learn that Aegon’s words had been surpassed. It had been a delight to defy him, even when Aegon had requested her not to do. She gave no care for his words as she’d walked out.

“Do you think we can give a visit to Dragonmont?” Irina enquired, riding back to the castle. The old man seemed too grumpy to share her opinion. He would not commit any risks that would put her in danger. It would be a beautiful revenge if she could take Aegerax before the wedding. Although, somewhere she started wondering if she was crossing a line because her wedding was on the next day. In any case, to indulge in any of her bold stupor, she wouldn’t take the old man. That was when her old friend would pitch in.

“Do you know how many men your brother has wounded today?” Vyl asked, helping her down from the horse and holding her arms, walking her towards the courtyard. Yeah, she had taken him back to her service. The third defiance. Aegon had willfully sent her only friend away because he had been wary of anyone helping Irina. Now, it was time to take back everything she had deserved. Vyl had been more than glad to join when she had asked of him. But something about him had changed. She couldn’t place what it was, but the quirky nature in him had gone.

“How many?” She asked staring at Aegon who now swung his sword against Daemon Valeryon, the Lord of Driftmark. There were lords who had started piling up to attend the wedding. And she was aware of Lord Daemon’s friendship with both Aegon and Visenya. A little more than friendship with Visenya. With muscular shoulder and thick body, Aegon only gave attacks to the Driftmark lord and ended the fight within five minutes, as Daemon’s ass landed on dirt. The way her brother had done it, the fight looked like a child’s play. Every day he was there in the fighting pit, drilling his sword against all the guards that Ser Quenton had trained. He was not even wielding Blackfyre. It was a blunt sword in hand and he was taking down men like they were lambs.

“Eight…” Vyl answered. “No one wants to train with him. They are feared to face even his blunt sword. Some are whispering he is venting out because of his dislike at the wedding. And he has accepted this only to honor you, who apparently is carrying another man’s child. Some are saying he deserves the punishment as his father… ahem… your father did the same with other men’s wives.” Vyl said with flattened emotion.

“You gossip like a girl.” She chided, staring at him in disgust.

“Who do you think spread these strange tales? All those scullery maids who warm my bed at night never put their mouth to rest. Trust me, this is somewhat the good tale I hear. They say more wonderful tales about your sister that I want to jump into the ocean. ”

“About Rhaenys?”

“No the witch lady, who always scowls. You should be glad that you are spared. They pity you, now.” Suddenly they broke out laughing. She forgot what it was to have him as a friend. She forgot how to not care for anything. It felt nice now.

“Don’t go anywhere near my brother. He will take it as a chance to end your life and prove his point to me.”

“Are you gambling with my life?” Vyl feigned a shock over his face. She casually avoided that question. Her own life was a gamble. Irina had admitted Vyl about Aegon transferring him only to make her a prisoner. She hadn’t gone over the details. He hadn’t asked either, or for that matter, he was in any position to understand the complications. What he had grasped was, Aegon had betrayed her trust, and that had made Vyl to join her boat. His loyalty went ocean deep for Irina.

When the whole courtyard became silent, she observed that everyone’s eyes were set on her, specifically on her, because the Lord of Dragonstone was drilling his glance right into her laughing mockery or her wet clothes and wet hair. Lord Daemon Valeryon murmured unintelligible words to Aegon that her brother’s ears turned flushing red in anger, she presumed, or something else…

Her observation period had given out some predictions. One was, Aegon was angry… Although she had expected his anger to be the reflection of her defiances, because she had been vying on wounding him, something more was brewing in him. He was having issues in directing that anger. Not deciding to linger more on him, she gave a proud smile, directing at Aegon, and looped her arm into Vyl before turning away. What better way to make an enemy feel bitter, other than to live happily?

“Don’t turn… My brother won’t bother to simply throw his sword in the air and cut your neck.” She warned silently to Vyl.

“The lord might… Are you going to tell what you did to earn his wrath? Because, the way I see it, once he marries you, he will exact revenge a thousand times back.” Vyl chuckled. “I guess you will be begging him tomorrow. I will ask the old man to guard your door. I don’t have the willpower to see you suffer and let it slide. I will barge in and call him for a fight.”

“Since when did you start caring for anyone besides yourself?”

“I don’t.” Vyl shrugged. “Which means I also don’t care for your brother, either. I am in your service and if he hurts you, I will fight him.” He said casually. Something was bothering him. She guessed he wouldn’t spill it out even if she asked. Everyone had some buried demons. She would not be fessing up her own to Vyl, so she didn’t ask him. Right then, his loyalty to her was what she was happy about. And she had more problems to focus. One such was to prepare for what Aegon would do to her in bedding. He would hurt. Wasn’t it obvious? She just had to prepare for facing him. She would not show any weakness.

She woke up the next day and prepared herself for imagining this was any other day. The hard part in learning to live with this family was never to let them smell her weakness. If Irina even gave the slightest hint that she was excited for the day, her siblings would find amusement in spoiling it and making her cry. That was how they got power over her. With no expectations, with no excitement, with no real emotions, if she managed to deal with them, they could not hurt her. How could they take away something that was not present in the first place?

“I remember my wedding day just like it happened, yesterday, my sister.” Rhaenys’s voice came out with a dramatic sigh. Speaking of the devil… “Jugglers, dwarfs, singers… oh, I planned it very meticulously. You remember it well, don’t you?”

Indeed, Irina remembered it well. That horrible day still tasted bitter in her memory, after the failure of a dance, and later when Rhaenys had made a jape about Irina being a fat jester. Instead of showing the pain and allowing Rhaenys to get any power, Irina gave a twisted smile. “Of course, sister. How could I forget? It was a grandeur event. But it seems your husband forgot it too soon, that he is arranging for another one with another woman. Probably you should do well to remind him.”

Rhaenys face instantly soured. It was a nice change to give back what Rhaenys had offered her all these years and see her sister suffer for once. But Irina knew Rhaenys better than the rest of her siblings. Her sister would fight back, even if she would fail miserably, she would seek for some sort of vengeance. Falling into filth wouldn’t stop Rhaenys to throw something back at Irina. “You think he has already fallen for you. Don’t you? That he will knock on your door every night to spend with you. Protect your weak heart, Irina. Visenya thought the same. I doubt if he even properly spent his wedding night with her. It was more of a ritual. And once yours get over, he will run back to me.”

“Oh, don’t presume to know about me, Rhaenys. I want nothing but that one-night ritual to get over. I literally have nothing to do with him. Remind him of that too often and clearly. You can have him all for yourself.” Irina was determined in this matter. She wouldn’t let this jealousy affect her at any point. Visenya had not come to this arrangement with love, but Irina still had that cord attached, but at no point, she would let that affect her. She could not afford it. Else, she would lose. Rhaenys once again stared at her with a dumbfounded expression. “Why don’t you help me wear this, assuming you didn’t come all the way to warn me? Because we both know you are in no place to warn me.” Irina picked the wedding gown and slipped it around.

Rhaenys gawked at her for a fine minute. “This is no ivory…”

“No?” Irina smiled. “I asked the seamstress to add some color.” The fourth and final defiance. Both Rhaenys and Visenya had dressed in black during their wedding ceremony. And Aegon had sent Irina an ivory dress, the one that represented purity. Hell with him. She was not pure. Neither in heart nor in the body. So, she tinted the dress with crystal blue to reflect her eyes and a reminder of her mother. Mostly, to defy him that she wouldn’t do something just because he wanted her to.

It was a luxurious gown. As Rhaenys pulled the laces from behind to tie, she took note of the glimmering silver thread that ran delicately with too many brilliant patterns on her bodice. It was eye-catching. The sprinkle of blue on the pearl-beaded, tight-fitted gown made her own jaw drop when she saw herself in the reflection glass. The cloth was soft, too thin that it clung to her chest, and gave an ample view of her cleavage. Even her big chest looked brilliant in it. She appeared more of a young-woman, her new happiness adding natural glow when she smiled, and for a fleeting moment she let herself enjoy until Rhaenys made a snorting noise.

“I would have given an approval smile if your hips are not this wide, Irina. Look at mine.” Rhaenys shook her hips. Hers were thinner, bones evidently visible through the dress she wore. “And your tits are sagging already.” Irina wanted to take the reins and shut Rhaenys down. In fact, Irina didn’t feel her tits were sagging. It was bigger than Rhaenys’s but not sagging. “And your ass-”

“You know what, Rhaenys. You are singing your same old song that my ears are bleeding. I don’t give an ounce of care for your opinion. _I look fantastic. In fact, I look bedazzling!!!_ ” Irina beamed, seeing herself. Sure, she was round. And she couldn’t help it. Her weight had dropped over the years that her collarbone was jutting out, but there were some parts that wouldn’t go away. But she looked lovely in that pretty gown. Her father would have said the same. “Why don’t you make yourself useful for once, and braid my hair, like all the times I had done for you. Isn’t that what sisters do to each other?”

Rhaenys huffed like her dragon, but she eventually calmed, probably with no option to deny now, and helped Irina with her hair. If Rhaenys had thought of spoiling it, her sister had failed. Because her braid that was pulled from all sides and the small silver ornaments decorating her rich brown mane, made her feel special.

“Aegon asked you to come to the garden, first, and soon.” Rhaenys left, not sparing another second. Irina felt a discomfort hearing he wanted to meet her in the garden. Grudgingly, she took Paxter and left to meet her husband-to-be.

* * *

She stared at the heart tree, unblinking, unflinching, breath coming out thick and thin. Meanwhile, Aegon did the same while gawking at her. She wanted him to feel slightly disappointed and angered, for defying by getting rid of ivory and replacing it with blue, but the muscle crinkling near his eyes and the corner of his lips curving, said a tale that he liked what he saw. And this wretched heart of hers sped a hundred times faster with the way his gaze was appreciating. She tried… She really tried not to feel. She warned herself that he was the enemy. But she was just a girl who still had five moons to reach six and ten. The little appreciation from him made her feel really happy.

“Why do you want it done here?” She asked, not hiding the ache in the heart.

The smile in him died, replaced with a stoic emotion. “Do you want my reasons? Well, sister. I know you have faith in your Gods, so I can sleep at night with peace, knowing you will keep your vows intact. But you guessed it already, I assume. This ceremony will be for just you, me, and your Gods. Visenya would officiate the other ceremony in front of the lords in the throne room in our old ways.” He stated.

Of course, she’d guessed it, and he was right. A small part of her considered this marriage a hoax since he was doing it the second time. Besides, there was a thin chance for her to betray her family if things didn’t go in her way, as she believed that to be no true marriage. She was so far proud of herself to defy all the rules. And she had a backup plan to tell ‘fuck you’ once and for all when they would try to mess with her life. But a wedding before the old Gods was a different tale. She could not lie with the vows. She could not lie with the promises. She had tremendous faith that her mother’s Gods watched over her.

Aegon was too clever, unlike Rhaenys. He had anticipated how her wicked mind would work. Well, he was the biggest criminal. He would know. And he always walked two steps ahead of her.

At that moment, though, she wanted to flee. Runaway, take the dragon and fly to the farthest end of the world. This affair would be for a lifetime if Aegon succeeded to live longer, which he probably might, considering how strong he was. And in case if he died, it meant someone more dangerous would take her. Could she even put up with this family that long?

Taking a solid ten minutes, she paced around, not sparing a glance at him. She could not step back, now. She came this far, battling, defying, surviving… most of all. She had been so determined to face the demons all by herself, but the definite unhappy future was screaming at her to not to do this. Why hadn’t all these fears come for the past two weeks?

Knocking air out of her lungs, someone lifted her in air, and all the fear evaporated when she was swirling in the air. “Oh, put me down! You will spoil my gown and hair.” She chided. She hadn’t expected Orys to be there, let alone lift her in air, but when she peered at Aegon, he simply stared the commotion, for the first time with a smile. What had changed? And Orys pulled her in for a gentle hug.

“My, my!!! You look pretty!” Orys commented, still his laughter ringing in the air. And just like that, her fears melted. “Are you ready?”

“All the time…” Irina feigned a smile. Orys explained what had to be said before the Gods, which was weird because she herself was unaware of it. “Where did you go to learn these things?”

“Long before, a lady and a lord who looked just like you and Aegon took their marriage vows here. So, I remember.”

“Right…” What a pity? Her parents had been in love. A shiver ran through her body at the thought of it. “Who knows, I may die in seven years. And Aegon will become a shell of a man after I pass away.” She japed with a laugh, but Orys did not share it. He, in fact, made his mission to chide her well for speaking such uneventful tales. She was shocked at learning that Orys would do the honors of giving her hand away. Clearly, Aegon was not on good terms with him, or so she thought. What had changed?

Eventually, Orys and Aegon exchanged a few titles and words of who giving whose hand and who receiving it. The more loud and sincere they spoke, the hackles rose on her neck. With no audience and only her mother’s Gods as evidence, Orys asked, “Will you take this man?”

She studied Aegon, who had pulled his lower lip in, biting it with anticipation for her answer. He stood tall, with pride, his broad chest and thick arms didn’t get unnoticed in the black leather vest he wore. Blackfyre was sheathed in the leather belt by his hips, which had a silver buckle. He never had gold on him. The only faint glimmer of gold that chose to adorn him was his shortcut hair, which was now wildly fleeting around his forehead for the wind. No one could begin to understand how his strong posture and those tulips like soft eyes could make her heart melt when it had a loveliness to it. Refusing to let her heart fall into the same girlish fantasy, she hardened herself while saying the words. Because, she knew if she didn’t say, the same enigmatic man would unsheathe his sword to cut her head.

“I take this man.” She answered stoically, and Aegon gave an approving smile, before taking her hand from Orys. She was aware that Aegon never had faith in any Gods, irrespective of the proof of magic. But he kneeled with her before her Gods and let her pray. Only, she didn’t know what to ask of the Gods. They hadn’t given her anything she had asked.

“We are wedded.” He said when she rose.

“We are…” She replied sadly, her voice croaking. She hadn’t expected him to do this. Take her to the Gods she had faith in for a wedding and bluntly confess how he had done it to ensure her loyalty. This was not a wedding of dreams or love, which she would have happily done had she never learned his betrayal. She wouldn’t be whining to this extent if she never saw through his facade. Outside, he was calm, composed, loving, and considerate but every move he’d made so far had a sinister, cunning, ruthless motive to it. Every step he had taken had ultimate political reasoning to it. He hadn’t married all his sisters for plain carnal need that as a man he was capable of doing, which was understandable for her. No… Rhaenys was for love. Visenya was for power. And she… the simpleton Irina, was for control.

“You are doing it again.” He whispered, gently lifting her chin to level it with his gaze. “You are over-analyzing everything when you shouldn’t be. That is not your place.” She had a sour face, and he began reading it, which she obviously didn’t like. Before she tried to pry away, his face became small, a flash of what she assumed to be regret. “Don’t make this hard, Irina.” He said again. “You can make this better if you set your heart to. We can make this work. You are my blood and I will do anything to keep you safe as I promised. I gave you everything you asked for.”

“Do you want me to act like you never betrayed me, Aegon?” She asked crisply.

“I want you to forget the past and move on. I like seeing your smile and innocence. I want that girl back. Not this stranger who keeps calculating and plotting to make reckless decisions behind my back.”

The gall of him!!! The worst thing in what he said was, he was sincere. “You are a fool if you think I will believe anything that comes out of your mouth. I will not rest until I give back the same pain you caused me.”

A long breath came out of him and he shook his head, aggravated of being not listened to. She enjoyed riling him up. When he found a sly smile plastered on her face, his eyes became dangerously dark and even somewhat amused. In an unexpected move, he leaned in and took her lips in his, making her stumble where she stood. His arms graciously locked on her waist when he sucked in her lower lip. It lasted no more than a few seconds. Quick and strong that she barely had time to react. The moment she composed, he himself pushed her away, showing his back to her and leaving to the throne room.

* * *

Andrik, the court singer, was performing in the middle of the Hall when she plopped another grape into her mouth. Visenya had officiated the ceremony with blood and ash. The ceremony was a disaster, to mildly put it. When Visenya gave the cut to Irina’s wrist, she had screamed aloud, as her soul was taken to hell and back. It was torturous, and she had a feeling of being mutilated when it had happened. Aegon had to hold her in his arms and take her aside to a chamber, when she had eventually passed out, unable to withstand pain.

Now in her wrist, there was a burn mark, and supposedly Visenya had done something to fix it. Probably some blood magic. Aegon had brought her back to the hall to attend the feast. Just to please the eyes of the lords. If she was right in her predictions, most of them would be gossiping about how the Valyrian Gods had rejected the affair.

None expressed openly, though. That would be utter madness when three dragon riders were present. But Irina knew this was how the lords would perceive the incident. Even Aegon was agitated, and kept Visenya by his side, continuously arguing about the incident. He even at one point accused Visenya for some foul play, but her sister would not take his shit. Not like how Irina had been. Visenya’s fingers went to the hilt of Dark Sister and she gave a death warning to Aegon. That was when they both had stopped bickering and kept a straight face.

Lord Daemon Velaryon approached the raised dais, and gave an awkward look at her direction, before directing his gaze at Aegon. “Can I take your bride’s hand for a dance, Lord Aegon?”

Irina glanced back and forth between Aegon and Daemon, finally moved on to Visenya, who had the stoic face. In fact, Visenya appeared curious. Her brother didn’t even spare Irina a glance before agreeing. Just when Lord Daemon turned to take her arm, Aegon interfered. “Irina is my wife, now, Daemon. I know you have a less understanding of what that means. I will not hesitate to plunge my sword to your heart if your finger touches her anywhere it shouldn’t be.” He casually warned like this was a game for them. “Now, I don’t want to upset Visenya by ending your life. Do I?” A sinister smile spread on Aegon’s face, and Visenya hurried out without an excuse.

“Of course, my lord.” Daemon’s eyes lingered on Visenya’s back before he bowed down. “Until the bedding ceremony, I can assure I will uphold my honor.”

Was this some kind of twisted game for them? She hardened her face when Daemon walked her down to the middle of the hall, but even without turning to look at Aegon, she knew her brother would be bristling. The dance was as sincere as Daemon had promised to Aegon. His thumb rubbed along the fresh burn mark on her wrist, as though he was investigating the sign. “Is it still painful?” He asked, not with any concern but some curiosity in his voice.

“Yes…” She answered, dryly.

“I wonder what is the meaning of it. Visenya says it was a deadly wound. Why that could be?” Daemon asked, curiosity still lingering. “After all, it was a simple slit…”

“Perhaps, it touched a vein.”

“Perhaps…” He nodded. “Irina, will you answer me truly?” She gazed at his purple eyes, that were no more curious but sad. “My sister, Alyssa…” His voice started shaking. “I had been meaning to speak with you. Aegon wouldn’t allow when I came. He is madly possessive and snarled at me as though I was going to take you for myself.” He offered a smile to calm down the situation. “Your brother seems to have changed a lot, I see. Those things apart, will you tell me the truth of what happened to my sister?”

He was too sincere, too naïve, too gullible. Irina had never regretted what she had done to those girls. Not even a horror dream passed once. Those girls deserved to be punished. That was what she kept telling herself. But Daemon’s eyes were full of sorrow and love, both mixed in anticipation to know how his sister endured and she planned to give him the details. At least, the one that she knew. “Alyssa… was in shock when it happened. She didn’t cry, nor did she beg. She was mostly shocked and was able to believe. It was a straight cut to the throat. Your sister didn’t linger long in pain.” Irina closed her eyes, trying her best to remember everything about that day.

Daemon’s eyes were filled with tears, and he stared anywhere but to her eyes, which still had no feeling in it. She understood his pain. He had loved his sister. “Thanks… My sister was always a brave girl. Thanks for telling me what happened. Visenya wouldn’t. And I am sorry for what happened to you. Aegon is a nice man. He will protect you with his life. I wish you both a long-united life.” Daemon wished, giving her a warm hug and taking her back to the dais. The man was so innocent, like once Irina had been, believing everything she had said. And she had lied to him, with no remorse.

Something felt wrong, and she gulped two glasses of wine when she heard a whisper of the bedding ceremony getting discussed again. The night on the shore flashed over and over in her head. She couldn’t cry for those dead girls or for anyone else at that moment. That part of her had gone away. She only wondered how she could have changed that night. The unwanted groping to her breasts, the torment to her body went through when that horse lord kept kicking her were going on a repeat. Suddenly, she wondered if all the lords in the hall would touch her that way. They would. Wouldn’t they? They would strip her and see her wounds and scars. They would touch her without her will. It made her skin crawl with disgust. She didn’t want to be seen by strangers, let alone be touched.

But she could not voice that out. She had to bear it. It was the ritual, and she had to follow it. Everyone had endured. She wanted just to escape rather go through and she tried to warg. For some reason, she couldn’t. She could not connect with any of her birds or Merry. It was strange, and it was the first time she was experiencing it. Did she lose her power? Or was it some mind game?

“What is happening to you?” Aegon asked, pushing away the goblet she tried to take. “You look pale. Tell me what is happening?”

She almost choked out crying. Almost… But held in her breath and didn’t let out a word. He was the enemy. There was no point in giving details about her misery.

“Irina…” Aegon called, dragging her chair closer to his. He could sense her shaking. And she was not able to pretend like everything about the day was fine. “Is the scar still hurting you?” His voice was soft and caring. And for a moment, she thought of leaning on him for support. “Are you worried about the bedding ceremony?” He finally asked, as though he was able to smell her fear. Her back instantly straightened, and she didn’t show any sign of her emotion.

She would not show him her weakness. Nor would she ask for his help. It was fine for her to endure the pain, rather to seek solace in his feigned fake love. She wanted to be the one in control.

* * *

The air grew chiller with every passing second, and she was not sure how to prepare for the night. How to prepare for the upcoming ritual. She repeated herself a hundred times it would be one ritual, one night, to share with the man she once loved, no… still loved in an odd twisted way, but the haunted memories of the distant tinkling bell ringed in her head, and the questions of what if’s kept rolling in her head.

_What if Aegon would demand her to spread her legs? What if he’d pound on her like pounding on a bitch? What if he’d be too rough for her to handle? What if he’d demand her to take him in her mouth?_

She couldn’t stop her thoughts. She couldn’t stop anticipating the worst. At that moment, she knew somehow she had let Rhaenys get beneath her skin. Her fingers twitched, wishing she’d drunk more wine and braved enough to endure this. Aegon had asked her to leave before the bedding ceremony, though. She hadn’t expected that of him. After all, the ultimate point of this wedding ceremony was to allow the lords to witness the consummation. Visenya would be hurling curses at Aegon for being a fool.

Whatever conspired into him, he didn’t even give those uptight lords a chance to touch her. She should thank him but the truth was, in whichever way tonight was going to end up, she would be the one with the broken soul. He might save her from other monsters in the world, but he would not or could not save her from himself.

Leaning on the curved porch, staring at the moonlight, she resoluted herself to embrace the roughness. That was how she would bravely face the night. Every time he had touched her, it had always been violent encounters. Every single time he drew blood. He had been in wrath for every order she had disobeyed and raised against him in defiance. He’d been channeling his anger through his sword to the opponents on the field. Probably, he had been waiting for this moment, to show who was in control. This battle in bed would be the only way for him to exert power. And he would grab it and show her who was her master. This would be no different and once he took what he wanted, he would not like her anymore. She was not beautiful enough for him to fall for her. A mere obsession to play with till the fire in him would be put out.

Shutting her lids, she breathed in, determined to not let him break her again. She would not allow him to smell her fear or sense her weakness. _She would not cry. She would not wail. She would not beg._ She was a dragon, after all. She would come out victorious if she never offered him the satisfaction in seeing her tears.

“Pray, tell me, what you are wishing for?”

Her shoulders became rigid, fists curling at the mere sound of his hoarse, thick voice. “Nothing, Aegon. What do I don’t have in my life to wish for?” She answered shakily, even though the dripping sarcasm didn’t drop from her voice. He was leaning against the door, his hands folded across his broad chest and eyes measuring her with a hooded expression. His height itself made her cower to a corner. Can a girl as herself compete against the mighty Dragon?

His demeanor was too soft and observing, with no hint of desperation to touch her. That put her out of her element. Did he already lose interest? He exchanged no words, but his eyes scanned her face in the bright moon-light. He was evaluating her, but it didn’t seem physical. They were standing five feet apart. They were physically far but emotionally he was ravaging, to read her face, to read her mind, which was the only part she had wanted to protect from being damaged.

“Shall we honor the wedding night, my lord?” Irina asked with a slip of a smile to mask her emotion and he gave a dry chuckle, shaking his head.

“No…” He answered as he slid into the well-lit chamber and dragged a cushioned chair out to the porch. Irina fiddled with her fingers as he coolly sat on the chair and slouched down to peer at the moon. What was he doing? What was his game? To hurt her, sure. She anticipated that he was going to give her a hectic punishment. But now did he plan to insult her too? The time ticked by and words went unspoken until anger took the best of her. Just when she thought of giving him her peace of mind, he extended his arm. “Don’t overthink and come here to me.”

She was utterly confused. His calculative moves were so threatening. Bracing herself, she moved closer to the chair, refusing to take his arm. He could not be trusted. Her obligation was to only spread her legs, not to open herself emotionally. When she closed his proximity, he straightened himself and patted his lap, signaling to take the seat. She refused his insipid request. With a gentle pull of her wrist, he drew her to his lap.

She fought him, her intuition kicking in. All he needed to do was fuck her. Why the hell would he make everything complicated? Although she was determined not to show weakness, the unanticipated move made her feel inadequate to face his challenge. A long gasp left her lips when she used her fist to move against his chest, but he kept locking her back into his arms. The fight in her slowly started dying when his one hand rubbed along her spine in a gentle caress. “Don’t fight, sister. Don’t fight. Just relax and breathe. Don’t panic.” He murmured whispers for the longest time, and she allowed herself to take the moment and breathe. Her racing heart took a very long time to soften, but eventually, it relaxed with his coaxing. A longing need to be welcomed ached through every tiny muscle in her. This was going wrong. She had been planning on putting a fighter face to show him how she would not suffer, but he was not even ready to raise his sword.

She buried her head into his leather vest, seeking his familiar scent to hide her face. She wanted to be hidden now. She lost in the battle. The loss of control in the situation was plainly evident, but she had no idea how to retain it. She fell for his small touch against her spine, his whispering lips against her head. For the finest moment, she allowed herself to relax, willing herself to stop pondering about the plans for the night, or the need for fight and flight.

“The dress looks splendid on you, Irina.” He whispered deliciously to her ear. “And you were regal today. Such a beautiful girl… Every curve in you is perfect. You were a treat to all the eyes, there. I was more than glad to take you all for myself. No one deserves to touch you. You are all for me.” Her cheeks turned red hearing his hoarse whisper. This moment was very intimate for her to either deny or accept. And she was shameful of surrendering so easily to his charms. His fingers started twisting her long braid, trying to free it open. “Damn… This is complex.” He cursed.

With a light chuckle, she pried her long brown locks from him and parted it, while he positioned her back to lean against his chest. She anticipated for him to kiss her, but he made no such move. In fact, he made no moves. There was no kiss, no fondling, no kneading. He did nothing to elicit her hormones. The chill wind prickled her skin, and she caved in to his broad muscle. Her legs were folded in, her hair was flying free, but he was not warming her as he should be.

There was less friction and with every growing minute, she became exhausted of craving for his skin. So, she made the move. Placing her palm on his that was resting on her belly, she rubbed it in feather-light motions. He seemed to be waiting for her approval. At the mere touch of her skin, his thick palm traced her belly and waist, moving all along her body, while her own legs fought to find warmth against his own pair. When a hurl of wind passed by, she forgot her modesty, her self-will, her determination, and arched her back, indirectly cueing him to do something more because the faint touch was not enough for her.

“Aegon…” She pleaded with a groan when he rubbed the sides of her breasts, heating her up slowly. Too slow for her taste. Too slow for her need. They both were still dressed. She was desperate to rub every inch of her bare skin against him, while he was determined to play with her feelings. Shifting her position, she tried to make his palm slide against her breast. And she succeeded after two failed attempts. The moment he touched the tip of her breast, a tidal wave of pleasure passed towards her core.

He didn’t have to be asked more. When his hands couldn’t find a way to undo her strapping, a light force tore her beautiful wedding gown, and he managed to make her naked on top within seconds. He had an astonishing pride in unwrapping his bride and the moment she was bare, his lips met her naked flesh of her shoulder, while his hands snaked below to feel her naked skin. With a guttural growl, he cupped her breasts, feeling the shape. She leaned forward, inching herself close to the hardness of his hand when he whispered huskily, “Open your eyes. Look at me when I touch you. Look who is giving you pleasure.”

She obeyed. Her blue met his purple when he rolled her pearl-like hardened nipples between his fingers. And his eyes never left hers. He wanted her to know he was the one touching her body. He forced every nerve of her body to feel who owned her. And she registered it. When he pinched her nipples and wetness pooled between her legs, she took him all in, with fewer boundaries than before. “They are fucking perfect in my hands, Irina… You are fucking perfect!!! Look how your round tits fit in my hand. Look how you fit in me.” Each word struck a chord in her chest and she looked down to see him feeling her mounds.

She was perfect for him. He mattered enough that every word danced in joy. However fucked up this was, she still craved for this closeness, this warmth, this voice. He was her husband now, and she would not feel shameful in accepting it. She caught his lips the next moment, and he did not wait to ravish her on both her lips. His tongue slid against hers when his fingers tugged at her small cloth trying to sneak in. He grew impatient with his failure between her legs and with an animal like growl, he tore her small cloth below. At first, the foreign presence troubled her, but when he made soothing circles at the apex of her thighs, she allowed him. She had prepared her mind only for his rough punishments. Not for this gentle care. She became curious about what he would do next. Her body shivered when his warm thumb ran across her slit. And he gave a proud smile, feeling her arousal at the tip of his finger.

He spared no time for her to shy away. His lips trailed down to her neck. His tongue lashed and licked at her skin while his fingers pinched the nub below. The pleasure was nothing like before. It was too unbearable that she clung with her arms around his neck for support when his one finger entered her, all the while his thumb kept teasing the nub. “Tell me if it hurts. Ask me to stop if you are don’t feel good.” His breathing came erratically weird, but she didn’t care what was happening to him. He was showing her a world unknown. And this world was too scrumptious for her to leave and wonder about her. Her eyes rolled back in ecstasy with another finger added, and she threw her head back when he worked efficiently. She started shivering, panting, clutching to his vest, unable to find what her body needed.

“Aegon…” She called him for help, moving her hips against his palms, still confused about what was occurring in her body. “I don’t know. I can’t…” She blathered with loud moans.

“Let go, Irina. Come for me.” His thick voice pierced her chest, and he pressed his thumb strong against her throbbing core, still not halting the movement of his fingers inside. It should have been the edge in his voice or the command of his tone. Whatever it was, a wave of release passed and she almost fell down if not for Aegon to carry and place her on the bed.

She was delirious from the encounter for some time, and when she finally became conscious, she found him kissing her navel. Her arms opened to welcome him with a genuine grin that had never been there for so long a time. His sweat-slicked skin rubbed against hers and he suited himself between her thighs.

“I can’t prepare you anymore. This will hurt. But I have no fucking idea how to control myself.” He apologized with a boyish smile, and she loved that careless attitude. It made him young and look so less of a lord but more of a boy who was desperate to eat candies. He pecked on her forehead, on the tip of her nose and her lips, as he positioning his head against her slit. “I will go slow, Irina. Stop me, if you cannot take.”

He moved. The head of his length entered, and her eyes plopped, kicking out all the previous pleasures. All the madness vapored, and she gripped his back, her nails raking him to take blood in vengeance of the pain he started causing. She gasped when he hit a barrier and kept proceeding. “Seven Hells!!!! You are too fucking tight and warm. How am I supposed to hold? What in the-” He groaned and cursed, inching slowly, and tears slid against her cheek. It was ugly. Not like what she had assumed when he’d used his finger. She wept miserably. Her chin wobbled, and she bit her lips to muffle her cries. Nothing helped until she pulled his head close to take in his own scent of soot and earth, feeling his presence around her more than the intrusion between her legs. And he gave her time, kissing every tear that dropped down. “It is fine. You are fine. Easy, Irina. Just accept me inside you and relax.” His cock was already throbbing inside her. She could feel it all.

“Go on… Slowly, please.” She encouraged, and he moved very slowly at first. And every time he pulled back, letting her relax, the sliding in again took away her breath and she had to squeal and take blood from his body to adjust. But eventually, she started adjusting.

“I can’t last long if you squeeze me like that.” He said kissing her chin. She wasn’t doing anything, in fact. He was too big. And with a few harsh thrusts, he spent inside her, his cock throbbing with desire and the arousal that came from both their bodies filled the whole chamber.

Everything was perfect when he rolled over and pulled her to his chest, peppering too many kisses on the forehead, while his fingers wove around her mane, the same way he had often brushed it. “That was so different from what we had done before.” She pointed out.

“If you are not sore and give me some time I can make you feel much better when we try again.” He pecked on her lips and she shied. She wanted to know more, to feel more, to explore this act. When she thought about answering, he picked a wet cloth and started wiping her thighs. Blood had smeared the cover beneath, evidence of her losing her maidenhead. And all the night’s promises evaporated when the truth dwelled in. She was allowing him again. Giving him all the control, giving him the reign over this strange arrangement.

Aegon gently parted her legs and smoothly slid over her core with the wet cloth, wiping away blood mixed with his seeds. She was bare again, letting him to invade. The last time betrayal gave a warning ring in her head to not trust him. He wouldn’t mind hurting her.

He lowered himself, kissing her palms and letting his fingers gently wove inside hers, subtly indicating her for the new exploration he was going to subject her to. She really wished he was different. That he was a man of words and promises. He would literally crush her heart and admire the beauty of his destruction. That was what he enjoyed. How could she trust him again? Words locking in her throat, she pried away from his hand and drew the quilt over herself. If he would ever want that trust, he should earn. Not like this. Not taking away her innocence all to himself.

“I won’t mind if you don’t want. We have plenty of years for ourselves. Come close to me, now”

She made no move until he dragged her into his arms, against which she fought with all her will. “Stop this fucking nonsense, Aegon. You are acting as though everything will be fine with a cuddle. You took what you wanted. Now, leave me alone.”

His smile disappeared. The moment of intimacy and love that they shared was wiped away from his face. She couldn’t think hurting him would hurt her too. Because it damn as well, made her own heart painful. “What is with the attitude, sister? I took what I wanted?” His tone was not harsh but filled with disappointment. “I did everything to make sure you are not hurt. Have I not?”

“No… You have wounded my heart long back and you can never take back that hurt. It is a polite reminder for me to be aware of what kind of man you are. Now, give me peace. I don’t want you here anymore.”

“This is our wedding night.” He stated.

“It is over, Aegon. The drama and the hype have all got over. You can take the sheets as proof. I know you will run away before the sun rises. You were always good at that. Why don’t you save both of us some trouble and leave now?” Her tone was curt, but she bled inside when she said it out aloud.

His parted mouth didn’t close. She was mean to her own husband. She was so mean to her brother. She didn’t want to be such a spiteful human, but he made her to become one. There was no way she could not long for his touch, or for his love if he happened to make a welcoming embrace into his arms. She would fall and fail miserably, while he would keep loving Rhaenys and keep telling it to her face.

He was angry and cursing, when he fastened his clothes and walked to the door. She knew he could demand his rights again or stay the night. He was entitled to it. But he left her. Probably, she made this a sour experience at the end of it. She settled to spend her wedding night, crying, mostly, not knowing why even sending him away didn’t suffice her. This was the problem. Either way, with this marriage she was going to be wounded. Gods, she hated him as much as she loved him.

* * *

“Why won’t you take Betha back?” Vyl questioned, as they dug into breakfast the next day. Irina had met Betha. No, her friend had come by herself and had stood at her chamber’s threshold crying like a baby, apologizing and begging to take her back. But Irina had refused.

“I want her to be with my sister.” Irina didn’t explain more. Rhaenys had no more ladies-in-waiting, and it seemed Betha was doing everything to Rhaenys. Now that she thought, the whole idea seemed silly. Rhaenys was just a spiteful, vengeful fool. Should she have got Betha back? Even Irina needed some friends.

The sore feeling of the previous night still troubled her. Why had she been that harsh on Aegon, when all he tried to do was make her comfortable? Aegon had made peace with Orys and had asked him to give her hand. Orys was the one who had confessed. In some way, he was trying to make amends. Aegon had not reacted to any of her defiance in anger. He, in fact, assured to not let any lords touch her, which was more than she could ask for. And shocking of all, he was considerate, understanding, and patient enough to wait for her to adjust the previous night. Perhaps he was ready to change and adjust just to make her feel better. In the end, it was Irina, who had just spit venom, which eventually hurt her too. She had to come late for breakfast, so no one would question about the night, or enquire why Aegon had not spent the entire night in her chamber. It was the custom of the wedding night and she had thrown him away.

“Maybe I will ask Aegon about it. He might listen.”

“What will you ask Aegon?” Rhaenys’s voice interrupted as her sister took the seat in front. Irina gave a polite smile, not interested in insulting or involving in some stupid conversation. She was not in the mood. When Rhaenys measured Vyl with a disgusting scowl, her friend took it as a cue to leave from the place. He knew when to react and whom to respond.

“It is a pleasant day, Rhaenys. I am not interested in spoiling it.”

“Isn’t it?” Rhaenys gave a long exaggerated sigh, along with a sickly smile. Irina didn’t like that smile. That twisted smile was warning her to embrace something ugly that was going to follow. “It indeed is a pleasant day, Irina. For me and Aegon.”

Well, obviously her sister would have stooped low to pry away all the information of her wedding night from Aegon. And that sick smile only meant Rhaenys had gathered everything that happened aftermath. She tried hard not to get riled up and give Rhaenys the satisfaction. But the thought that Aegon had spilled what conspired between them to Rhaenys had begun to show its ugly form on her face.

When she looked past Rhaenys and found Aegon approaching the table, she gave him a threatening glare, which itself would have been enough to burn him. He paused in his tracks, sensing the tension in her face. “I listened your advice, Irina.” Rhaenys continued. “What was the one you gave? Didn’t you want me to remind Aegon that you have nothing to do with him? Well, I reminded him, yesterday.” Rhaenys snickered.

Irina’s face became blank for a moment. And she kept telling herself that Rhaenys was just using this weak moment to make her feel lost. And that she didn’t have to take any words from Rhaenys. Everything that came from Rhaenys’s mouth would be a lie, or that Irina’s assumptions might have been wrong. Not until she took in Aegon’s face, who stood right behind Rhaenys, did her heart started pounding against the ribs of her chest. Not until he went red in shame, did she let it affect her heart.

“I thought you will be able to keep him for at least one night, Irina. He came back right into my arms at the dead of night. And not just once… thrice, Irina, and all night long. The sheer power in him made me feel like he wanted to wipe out any memory of you.” Rhaenys gave a mocking laugh, but Irina’s eyes were not directed at the woman before. No… She couldn’t bring herself to direct any emotion on Rhaenys. Her eyes were dead set on Aegon, locking him and judging him at the place where he stood. He was still reeling in shock, unable to believe Rhaenys had said such things out in the open, especially to Irina. He even sneered, calling Rhaenys and admonishing her, but all of Irina’s sensations to hear anything had withered away.

Tears welled in her eyes. Her head kept repeating that this was what she had agreed to. That she would share him with two sisters of hers and would never get jealous of what he did in his four walls. And slowly, she even began convincing that it was her mistake to send him away.

When that drop of tear fell down her cheek, she felt small, vulnerable, and stupid. It was their wedding night, after all. Could he have not restrained for one night? By now, everyone might even have heard of it. All maids and servants would whisper the tales. No wonder Visenya kept telling she was the one who rejected him. Because how could any woman be prideful in feeling her husband was not attracted to her, but to another woman?

Well, Irina had thought different. She genuinely believed he was attracted to her. At least, that was how he made her feel while he had coupled with her. Visenya had Daemon to lean on. Who did she have? Hurrying away, she rushed towards the stables and took her horse. She wanted to put distance, as long as she could. She momentarily even thought of taking the dragon and flying away, forgetting that her family ever existed. But her skills had gone. How much ever she tried to connect back with five hundred birds she had bonded over the years, she couldn’t. Feeling hurt to even think, sobbing like a child who kept getting betrayed, she left the castle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has superseded my previous chapter count. And I am extremely sorry for doing that.  
> There were good parts in this chapter that I enjoyed writing and some went vague.   
> Let me know if you guys, enjoy.


	19. True Love

Pressing her heels against the fur-clad body, Irina rode her horse as fast as it was capable of. A small dictating part of her love had been crunched with spiked boots and the merciless pain that was being awarded for choosing her family, especially Aegon, crushed her aching soul. _What have I ever done for him to see me with cold indifference?_ All throughout the ride, she wondered if it was her mistake to send him away. No matter what, the only person who got hurt was Irina. Perhaps, Rhaenys was true in her words, when she said Aegon wanted to wipe away the memory of their coupling and so, he sought his other wife — the one he truly loved. Although, it didn’t feel that way when he coupled with her. She had been ecstatic and happy and relished every pain and pleasure he gave. Anyway, none of it mattered in the end. He had hurt her, and no amount of reasons could suffice her wounded heart.  
  
She needed time and distance from her family. Although she thought of going to Orys, she instantly rejected that idea. Irina was not ready to answer her beloved brother’s inquisitions. Coming to the west shore, she asked the old boatman to help her horse. She was ready to leave everything and proceed wherever the horse would take her if her powers had never vanished or she hadn’t promised any oaths before the Gods. Irrespective of Aegon’s opinion on honoring and respecting their marriage, she wanted to remain sincere to the promises. Else, her words and deeds would matter to nothing. Her father had taught her better.  
  
When the reflection of horses’ hooves colliding against the hardened sand made ripples form on the saltwater, she panicked with a fluttering fear. If there was another ambush, she surely wouldn’t survive it. Almost ten armed and armored men came towards her direction and only when she found black and red armor on their chest, did her own calmed. They were Aegon’s guards. A tall knight dipped down from his warhorse and strode towards her by removing his slitted helmet, which made his shoulder-length silvery hair to be fleeing free in air. He had an arrogance about him. “My lady, Lord Aegon sent me to look after you.”  
  
Bending her knees into the water, she measured everyone with fear and realized she had never seen any of them before in her father’s court while warging and sitting on the dragon throne as a bald eagle. Only the silver-haired man before appeared to be, well, not too green. All others were too young to be a knight. “You can return and tell Aegon that I am on my own for some days.” She said with gritted teeth. The arrogant man was not listening. And that pissed her off more than his haughty attitude. A smug sneer slipped out on his lips. _Is he laughing??? What did he presume of me?_  
  
The moment he came close and braced her shoulder with his strong arm, as though she was a random woman, she gripped the wet sand from below and threw it to his eyes. His haughty smile, the arrogant demeanor to touch her, and the silver hair were bringing back the hidden ugliness of her life. Before he made any move, she climbed on the boat and asked the old man to take her to the coast of the nearest island.  
  
With Merry wrapped around her waist, she spent the night on the shore, trying not to put too much heart on the events that had happened. But she needed to think about her future. She needed Aegerax. She needed to know why her powers had ceased to work after the wedding. Could it be the wedding? Could it be that the Gods of Valyria didn’t approve of the wedding? There was something about that ceremony that had taken away her power. Visenya might know. Or Visenya forged some spell on her. Either way, she should speak with her sister. But not now. Perhaps sometime later. Although she felt the chill night, it didn’t seem to freeze her. The lack of connection with nature through her birds made her very vulnerable. She tried to keep an open eye the whole night, but weariness came all the same and she dozed with a heavy heart and insecurities crawling in.  
  
When she woke up the next morning, she found herself to be wrapped in a fur sheet, and next to her sleeping place, embers and ashes dwindled, indicating that someone had made a fire to warm her.  
  
All the ten men had trailed along with her and had made a camp, with five of them rotating throughout the night to take watch. To say, she’d shamed herself as a lady would be an understatement. After all, they were not responsible for her misgivings and she had behaved just like how her siblings had treated her all those years. But she was not ready to tag them along like puppies. Besides, she had so little trust in them. The tall knight, at whose pretty face she had thrown mud the previous day, introduced himself as Trystane. She trusted him even less.  
  
“Lord Aegon said you would be going to Lord Baratheon’s holdfast. Our orders were to follow you.” He said, but she refused to heed.  
  
“I am not going there. I want you all to pack and leave for the castle. Tell my brother-”  
  
Ser Trystane interfered. “My lady! We were ordered to follow you. I understand that you have no need for us. But we will be helpful wherever you wish to go and protect you from any harm.”  
  
Irina wanted to laugh at him and mock him, boasting how she wouldn’t need the mercy of her brother’s generosity. Although the thought of spurning Aegon enticed her, she had to tread carefully. She wouldn’t survive another attack. She didn’t want to even put herself in that situation. But the silver man still made her weary. He was too similar, like her siblings, for her to ignore and not mind. Not until Vyl and Paxter joined the party she stopped fretting?  
  
She had a sorry-ass plan. She couldn’t contain it, and spat it out to Paxter, whose twitching mustache might have once terrified her, but not then. “You want to tame a dragon?” He asked.  
  
“No… I want to take what is rightfully mine.” Although she didn’t have her skin-changing power, her dragon blood should be enough to take Aegerax. Her father was simply wrong. Besides, without her power, she felt vulnerable, small, negligible. She needed the assurance of control in her life. “And I know there are guards around Dragonmont. My brother will rather keep me chained than to follow his promise. And I won’t ever beg him. So I want to scale the mountain from the South and get near the lair.”  
  
Paxter gave her a warning look that meant he was not agreeing with her plan. Even Irina saw too many faults in her mission. Had her father never fooled her with a cursed egg, she would have climbed the mountain when she was a ten-year-old child. Perhaps Lord Aerion had known her well, to know her impulse. That didn’t make her feel less angry towards him. There were times she regretted being born to that man. She hated that he fooled her and left the world before she got a chance to fight over him for lying. “With twelve men tucked behind you, your brother will find you in an hour, before you climb a mountain, milady.”  
  
“I have a plan. If we go through the islands surrounding Dragonstone, it is far less likely for Aegon to come to know. And I am aware that you know these lands well over me. You can guide me to reach there without passing any holdfasts or castles. We shall pass through villages.” The plan could turn out to be futile and perhaps Aegon might somehow sniff of her whereabouts. But will he refuse her to claim a dragon? Besides, for all she knew, he would be still imagining she was in Orys’s holdfast.  
  
And the party moved, slow like sloths. She informed Ser Trystane that she would simply see the villagers around and was interested in getting to know her people. He smirked at her, his silver brows lifted in perfect amusement. It seemed she was a poor-piss liar, and he hadn’t bought a word she said. At least he managed not to show his obvious disbelief openly to her. All the more she was not liking Ser Trystane’s presence. Did Aegon really send a man to protect her, who looked like someone Rhaenys would take to bed? Irina had not been well-aware of Aegon’s motives in many things, but she knew he was purely territorial when it came to her with other men. Even Orys had not been spared. Or had that part of her brother had left too after his round of pleasure was over with her?  
  
Wearing the rough-spun tunic, a pair of knee-length boots, that Vyl had bought for her, the party hunted, shared the same, and they’d made a tent for her to sleep in at night, while they themselves spent by open-fire. Irina spent less time with Vyl. She knew he’d heard everything Rhaenys had confessed to hurt her in the Great Hall. Irina herself hadn’t come to terms with that incident. The nagging ache squeezed her burning heart, every time the memory flashed, and she had to swallow to clear her cloudy eyes. There was no way she could come to terms with it. There were certain insults that could not be brushed off or wiped away. This was one of them, and it would always remain a scarred memory of her married life.  
  
Although she had been wary and distant with all those men, that evening, Ben, Ser Trystane’s squire, who could not be more than twelve, offered her his hunt, a stout pigeon. “My first hunt with an arrow.” He beamed.   
  
“You should enjoy it yourself, then.”  
  
“Nah… You are the lady. Besides, I thought, you are too sour because of eating fish every day. A bird might make you happy.”  
  
That confession revealed her how utterly useless crap she became, who lived on other’s hard work. She had been distant and aloof. She’d been self-centered, dragging these men for her selfish mission, while not even caring to know their name. She still distrusted Ser Trystane. But, like Ben, all the other under his command simply followed his words. To put more rightly, they were following Aegon’s words. They might even give their lives fighting for her if it came to an ambush. And here she was, not even bothering to speak with them. That was when she gave up and enquired about his family. Apparently, Ben had a younger brother at home to feed. And he earned a good portion, if not wealthy, serving in a castle. Because he was a healthy boy and had won out of the competition that Ser Trystane had held, he came to serve for Aegon. Irina shared the pigeon with him, while he wholeheartedly shared all his tales.  
  
And that night, when she flipped in her tent, unable to sleep, she strode to the fireplace outside, where five men were taking watch. Everyone was young, just like her, and the thought thrilled her blood. In the middle of nowhere, in the pitch dark night, she was spending her time with twelve men. She would not become incredibly stupid ever, again. Irrespective of their oaths and promises, they were men. And she was a girl, with no powers, no dragon, no arms, no armor. Her insecurity heightened even a level higher when Ser Trystane dipped himself on the dry sand next to her.  
  
“You will visit your first village tomorrow morning.” He pointed in the direction where Paxter had confirmed around thirty families lived. “I assume we won’t be leaving to Dragonstone, even after that visit.” He stated.  
  
“I haven’t decided.” She replied blankly. There was something about him that made her hackles rise on her neck. Irina gave a strong glare without backing down. She needed to know what his deal was or to whom he was working for. “How did you come to Aegon’s service?”  
  
One corner of his lips rose in amusement, and he rubbed his palms together to frighten away the cold. “Around the time when your father passed away.” She studied his face. His nose was lean and straight-edged. He had high cheekbones and the silver hair began from a widow’s peak. There was a softness to his face that was not there with Aegon or her father or Orys and Visenya. The men in her family had a hardened, edgy face, with a ruthless power of aura about them. Aegon rarely smiled, unlike this man, who had an easy way about his life, just like Orys. “Is your bed not warm enough for you to have a good sleep, my lady?” The corner of his lips curved with a flirty smile. Taking her silence as permission, he slithered close to her, and she didn’t fail to note two of the five other men in the party, was keenly observing his act. Were they collecting evidence? “Tell me, my lady, what is it you desire that you leave your husband’s bed not even a night after your wedding.”  
  
Irina wanted to call him out and give a heavy clout to his ears but the prospect that Aegon had sent him after her, to merely test her loyalty, made a revulsion of disgust and anger course into her body, after what he had done to her. She couldn’t believe it, yet, she wanted to test to what extent this game would go. “My husband doesn’t desire my bed, Ser. Isn’t it reason enough to run away for a while?” Finding her answer genuine, his flirting smile vanished, replaced by a frown. “Thanks for your sincere concern, though.” Her words might have been polite, but it was curt enough to let him know she disliked his interest.  
  
None of this game would matter once she would get her dragon. If ever Aegon would will himself to accuse her of adultery, she would go for a war with him. It was possible that she got it all wrong. Ser Trystane could be one of Rhaenys’s lover. He had the look of it that suited Rhaenys’s tastes. But the coincidence of him bringing a party didn’t suit that Rhaenys had plotted this well. For all of Rhaenys’s cruelty, she wasn’t brightest in the litter to plot like this.   
  
Had she retained her warging powers, things would be far different, now. It was fine. All she would need now was a dragon. Nothing else. The silver knight did not disturb her anymore, and they came upon the first village the very next day. Even during the journey, she had observed the destroyed plantation, with the lasting storm that pursued for about a moon. Her oblivion world became clear only when she came upon to visit those broken half-timbered houses and grieving families who lost a few of their own, to the storm.  
  
The oldest man, who had the same muscular tone of Paxter, with graying beard approached her with both glee and sorrow in his voice. “The Mother have mercy on us.” He said, falling to his knees. Irina introduced herself and gave a polite visit to the families. The old man had a gleaming hope of seeing twelve armored guards coming to the village. “There are thirty families, my lady. And we have lost twenty men in this village, roof, and trees falling over their heads.”  
  
“Twenty?? That is a lot. Why haven’t you come to the castle when the storm brew?” The old man’s eyes simply bulged in shock. It was Ser Trystane who took her aside and informed that the villagers were unaware of such curtsies. He needn’t explain. She herself had never seen commoners walk into the castle and stay under the roof, even when her father was alive. Upon inquiry, she realized, the local lord who owned the lands never welcomed them, either, and barely knew them. Only for collecting his share of tax would he send out his guards, who would threaten the same poor people.   
  
She had been wanting to reach the mountain and take the dragon, rather than spend her time with those fisherfolk, who were under the responsibility of their liege lord and Aegon himself. But her bloody heart wouldn’t allow her to leave. Even if she decided to send a missive to Aegon for help, he probably would ignore it, because these people were just a means to an end. At most, Aegon would send an order to the masterly lord of those lands to help them. Nothing more. Dragonstone was populated to simply harvest food for the dragons. Her brother’s visions were wider to consider for those petty thirty families.   
  
Irina couldn’t disappoint those haunted, grieving eyes. And so she called Ser Trystane and Paxter. “Let us help in constructing their timbered houses. Once they settle on their feet, we shall leave.” Ser Trystane was utterly shocked, but he moved fast on his feet, ordering his men to do the deed with military preciseness.  
  
There were perks of being a lady of Dragonstone which the marriage had boon her with, and during her stay in the village for more than a week, she had the privilege of lying on a mattress, with a roof above her head and hearth beside, wine and boar meat for food. Still, she shared everything with those twelve guards. They worked their ass off to make a sturdy roof for all the families and hunted enough meat balancing the eco-life and cleared the broken trees on the vegetation. They worked hard, and she denied sitting cross-legged and straight-chinned as a proper lady, by simply watching. She joined in their hunt. With always having the benefit of birds, she hadn’t learned the true patience or art of it. Orys had often chanted prayers about it, but Irina tasted the fruit of efforts, only then, after all those times with precise passing day.  
  
Ben and Bryce, the youngling of twelve and thirteen, taught her how to create a trap with wood sticks and even helped her hold a bow and nock an arrow into the string. She knew she wouldn’t become a marksman, but every time she began learning new tricks in survival, she rejoiced all the same. Harry, a fifteen-year-old lad, taught her the knacks of riding fast on the mount. Elwood taught her three local songs of the common tongue. Billy, a man who was close to Ser Trystane, explained to her the art of making berry wines, roast meat by building a fire and prepare tastiest fresh vegetable porridge. Billy was a young man, full of life, and he even helped her in setting a tent, all the while boasting Ser Trystane’s glory. They seemed to have known each other for a longer tenure and close friends, which should alert her to be away from Billy, but she truly enjoyed the wide-shouldered man’s his company. Billy was easy and naïve, just how Irina had been about the world.   
  
And sooner, she became useful in finishing any duties assigned. The feud of her family, the resentment of her marriage, the worry about the siblings who neither respected nor loved became a distant memory. Those men, although, through and through men, had come to love her, care for her, and respect her. Every night when they would sit by the fire, she would ask them about their family, and with rejoicing, they would spill it out.  
  
The villagers loved her abundantly, although their love came with devotion and admiration. The elderly men of that village would praise her lord husband and Irina, herself. That was fine. They needn’t know the details of her complicated family, but the true heroes were those twelve guards. Even Aegon would acknowledge it. She had kept keen eyes on her brother’s guards, just so they wouldn’t cause any trouble to the villagers. Pyper, Vyl, and Ralf took women to bed, but those women were willing. Just because she had to go to an empty bed, she wasn’t willing to restrain them.   
  
To Irina’s surprise, the girls of the villages were eager to speak with her, tell their tales of life, while enquiring about the events of a castle. Everyone had a story of their own. A few young maids of her age, decorated Irina’s hair with flowers, took her to fresh lakes to give her bath. She even took her time to teach them how to count and play with numbers as Maester Gerard would do, when she had been locked in the tower, by her father. A few enjoyed and even willed to learn. A few were more interested to hear tales of knights and princes and Kings of West, which she would share while gathering them in the evening.  
  
The journey was a brilliant way to associate herself with a new life and for each village they visited, the routine went on and on, but it was more exciting and enthusiastic than the last. At one point, she started forgetting her true goal, which was to claim a dragon, by surrounding herself with men and women, girls and boys, wherever she had set foot. Helping their livelihood had earned a copious amount of love for her to heal all the scars of the past. Whenever she was with girls, she wore her pretty dress to look like a proper lady with dignity, rather than looking dirty, in leather jackets and breeches. She truly rejoiced in spending time with them.  
  
Not all visits ended on a sweet note. Many had lost their crops and there was no way for her to fix that problem. The demands from the castle to send fifteen lambs or three cattle or five boars, every day, for every hundred men in a village had become a struggle. The elderly men put forward their concerns to her ears, but there was no solution to it. She said Vyl the same one night, “Why does that old man keep telling about how many sheep he lost in the Storm? It is not likely for me to ask Aegon to stop demanding them. The dragons need to feed on something else they will start hunting.”  
  
“He thinks you can give an ear to their concerns and find a solution to his problems. For most of my life, I never once saw who the lord was until you took me to the castle. The old man thinks you came to his village to hear his problems and tell the same to your husband.”  
  
Like a fool she was, she chortled and spat out the sweetened berry wine that she had made from scratch with Billy. “As though my husband would listen to me. All I wanted was to escape his claws, and he sent his men to watch over me, just so I won’t escape his territory.”  
  
“He cares enough to send men to watch over you. Doesn’t he?” Vyl asked.  
  
Although the men he had sent were loyal and simple, Aegon had often done things that would only benefit him. She had been drilled with that knowledge over and over again, with all the mistakes she had made. Irina doubted that Ser Trystane had some grave plans for her, although lately, while they helped the villagers, he often came with a simple smile and offered her every exotic gifts that he would receive from young maids of the village who pined over him and spoke silly stories of what happened with his men while repairing the small folks’ houses, japing casually with no flirty comments. The problem was, Irina had lost the tendency to trust. Everything happened in this world for a reason and she would harden her heart, rather than being burned with a stake.  
  
That being said, the truth was, Aegon would not even turn his ear to her requests. He would call her a fool or order her not to leave the tower. Her sour heart hadn’t forgiven him, and she was determined to not return to his premise, after how he’d insulted her on their wedding night. She mulled over all the insults she’d been bestowed upon, in solitary, with berry wine, while hearing the villager’s bloody tales of dragon tamers and dragon slayers, till her heart had become hard as ice.  
  
After four small villages on those tiny islands, close to one and a half-moon later, they had finally settled to the southern side of Dragonstone, where the Dragonmont loomed above on the other side of the shore. As the sun was setting down, they’d decided to cross the shore the next morning. Inside the cotton flaps of the tent, she rolled around on a straw mattress, unable to find sleep. She had never climbed a tree in the past. Would she be able to climb a mountain of thousand feet? What if that ghastly dragon would never bond with her? Her father had said it threw him in the ocean while he tried to bend it to his wills, and only because of water beneath that he had barely survived. She shouldn’t have any doubts now. Life didn’t really matter for her. In every village she had given visit, even the rats enquired about which color dragon belonged to her. She needed to have one. She was a Targaryen by birth.  
  
At the hour of the owl, when dawn still hadn’t begun, she wandered into the woods to pass water, with hazy thoughts and clouded feelings of the deadly dragon that she had never seen before. Out of nowhere, a thick palm pressed her mouth shut, not even allowing her to breathe, and in panic, when she tried to kick the balls of the man who captured her, he twisted her shoulder and made her look into his eyes, in the moonlight. “Trystane!!! What in-”  
  
He placed his forefinger on her lips and pointed the same towards the far end of the forest. In the beginning, she noticed nothing and chills went down her spine at the thought of falling into Trystane’s trap. She wouldn’t survive another assault, especially when she had no power. Her body involuntarily shook, but when she squeezed her eyes properly, she found a source of light at the distance he pointed to. It was a faint, red glow, but she understood there were some other parties on that island.  
  
His lips came to her ears, brushing it lightly. “You have to halt your mission of bonding with a dragon and come with me to Dragonstone. Right Now!!! You are not safe with a brigand roaming here. Let us leave the party and I will alert Bill to handle them. You are at more risk and I will you to take you to your brother before anything uneventful happens.”  
  
Her gaze was set only on the fire, at the farther side of the island. She stood stilled, her hands frozen in fear. Ser Trystane sensitively clutched her frozen fingers in a futile attempt to alert her. In a surprising act, he rubbed both her arms with his bare palms. “You are dead cold, my lady. Don’t fear. We will ride to the castle.” He whispered and her body switched from having fear to trepidation. “As long as I am alive, I won’t let anyone harm you.”  
  
Slowly parting from his body, she took feeble steps towards the direction of her tent. Her ears ring with the tinkling noise of bells that she had once heard when she fell in this same situation before. She would not cower. She was stronger. She could win against any monsters in the world. All she needed to find was Paxter, and he would take her safely to the mountain Dragonstone, and if Gods permitted she could find Aegerax… Fuck… The Gods never had given her what she wished. Ser Trystane was close behind her and he pulled her elbows, demanding her to follow him.  
  
Snarling and grounding her teeth, she instantly came up with a plan. “The boatman has left here a small vessel that is enough to carry five men.” Ser Trystane said, taking her towards the vessel. “Bill has sent scouts to see how many men are hiding. He will take care of these brigands.”

Irina followed his suit to the vessel. When life would only offer harsh lessons, some natural instincts of survival would soon start following. One such was Irina’s fine line to determine when to fight or flight. The silver knight rowed the boat, spending all his energy, while Irina shut her eyes close, allowing to calculate the possibility of dying. Did it matter? She had long-lost the need to live when life had not offered her one reason to live for.

Even if it was a tiny fishing vessel, it requires a boat man’s strength to use the paddle. Ser Trystane’s physical strength was a quick aid, but he was heavily panting when they reached the opposite shore, close to the highest mountain peak of Dragonmont. Irina jumped out of the boat and observed Ser Trystane doing the same to climb out and walk towards the dry sand.

“This place is much more deserted, Irina.” He said holding both his hands to his hips, still breathing heavily. Turning around to see the mountain, he glared at the monumental peak, with his back shown to her side. “How are we going–”

A loud crack of wood broke and the splintered pieces of the wooden paddle spindled in the air before her eyes. Ser Trystane’s silver hair began coating with red, from the side of his ears, and he turned around to find Irina, in bewilderment and shock. His first reaction was to search for the perpetrator, but when he found Irina’s hand holding the broken wooden paddle, he got confused.

“What is wrong with you?” He stuttered, and fell to the dry sand on his knees, holding his ear tight to stop the bleeding.

Irina flared and willfully wished she had her powers in hand. Turning around with a glare and clutching his leather tunic, she gave a tight slap to his cheek. He held his skin with all five fingers, eyes too wide, which bulged in shock. “Do you take me for a fool, Ser Trystan? Do you think I can’t understand your subtle motives?” She hissed. “Are you sure there are men sitting there, in the fire, or did you light it yourself, just to create an ambush and isolate me from the party?”

She would have done more damage, but the more she stood close, she feared for her safety. He could unsheathe his sword and kill her the next moment. Not interested in risking such a mishap, she walked so far away from him.

Holding to all her emotions, trusting only to survive this betrayal, Irina hadn’t planned what to do further. Perhaps she could take the boat back to her men.

“Irina!” Ser Trystane called, his eyes so red that she mistook for blood. “My head feels funny.” He muttered. “Go back to the castle.” His feeble voice made her helplessly stupid. “Run to safety…”

“It was you,” Irina screamed in anger. “You had set up everything to trap me and kill me!” He should be trying to save himself, now that he was aware that she learned of his plans. Didn’t she live with enough snakes to know which would bite? His silver hair was proof of his wrong intention. No man that looked like her brother could be true and good in heart.

“You are a sweet girl. I mean you no harm, my lady. But…” He scanned the place again, trying to shake his head frequently. His vision should have been blurring with the effect of striking the head. “Run along, now.”

Irina held the paddle still tight in her hand, hoping he wouldn’t try to attack when she truly ran for life. She didn’t want to be in the same place as him. The empty shores were filled with monsters. Teardrops started sliding down one after another, and her body shook in fear and anger. Anger that she might have done something truly wrong and had hurt an innocent knight who tried to help her to safety. Anger that she was foolish enough to strike a man by judging his appearance. Anger that she could never be right. Anger at herself for becoming a monster like her siblings.

When she turned to see the opposite shore from where they had come from, small torches were lit, and she could see a chaos of tiny forms rushing about. It wasn’t clear, but there seemed to have been true chaos there.

Instantly, her body froze, but this time with regret than fear.

“Ser Trystane!” She sobbed with her stuttering lips and rushed to his aid. He was trying to hold his head in the air between his arms, an effort to stop the bleeding. The bleeding had stopped. It should be a good sign. He could not die in her hands. He was simply doing his duty and truly protecting her. The lit torches and loud cries that echoed could only mean that the opposite side of the shore was getting raided.

Irina wailed pitifully and tore a piece of her gown to wound his head tight with cloth. He grunted for each step of hers.

“I was… I thought… Tell me you don’t feel funny. Please!” She cried, holding his shaved face between her hands.

He smiled and brought his hand to brush her hair on the head. “I don’t feel too funny, my lady. What wrong did I do, other than to watch over my own sister?”

Irina sucked in a breath, and her heart rapidly beat with the realization of the obvious truth, that she had easily tried to shove away because she had been adamant on the only conclusion that wanted to benefit. Of course, he looked every inch Valyrian, except that he didn’t look like her father. She silently cursed her father in her breath and cried even more vehemently. “I was thinking you were plotting to–I didn’t know–” She pouted. “You didn’t tell, either. Father never introduced you. Nor did Aegon-”

“Your father refused to take me in. I was not born to a high-born woman like Orys. And Lord Aegon could only bring me after your father passed away. Now, I don’t care why you attacked me. Obviously, you are a troubled girl. But the sweetest of all.” He pinched her cheeks. “My boys worship you. Go to Aegon and tell him that a brigand is searching for you. I have to check on our men.”

He struggled to raise, but managed to compose better than she expected. It still felt surreal, as though she was dreaming. To know that she had more and more siblings than she imagined she could have. _How many women did my father impregnate?_ _How many bastards are roaming in these tiny islands?_ It was disappointing to find that her father would rather fuck a poor peasant woman, rather to help them into the castle when the storm would come. Her father grew dark like a monster in her vision, the more time she thought of his mistakes in his lifetime. Had he restrained himself from falling for Lady Agnes, there wouldn’t be Irina, and there wouldn’t be so much torture to her soul.

That explained why Ser Trystane naturally felt playful around her, or that he became sour after hearing her plight with Aegon. Still, she couldn’t bring it in herself to think of him as a brother. Orys was the only true brother she knew. All that matters apart, she wanted to know what happened to Billy, Ben, Ernold, her old man Paxter, Vyl, Pyper and everyone.

“I will come with you.” She argued as he pushed the boat into the water.

“I will wait here till you disappear out of my sight. If the fight hadn’t taken everyone, I will send a few after you. The cries are still echoing and I can’t leave them. All those boys–” He paused, closing his hurting eyes. “I hired them and they are so young to die, my lady.”

It was then they heard the thunderous roar of the dragon that shivered the ground beneath them. Aegerax’s… In a rushed, pitiful attempt, she ran straight towards the mountain that she had planned on climbing. If she just could reach the top…

“Irina! It is dangerous!” Ser Trystane warned. He was upset that she wasn’t obeying him. But she was the lady of Dragonstone, and she could do anything she wished. He was under her command, not the other way around.

Her body began eager and thrilling, for every step she took to run towards the stoney mountain. A sweet ache began spreading, and swift musical voices called her to approach them. Irina felt the bliss of being lifted towards the levitating gravity, towards the black stones, and she thought she was drowning in sweet wine of eternal life. It was the purest pleasure she had received. She knew she was meant to climb. She knew she was meant to take the dragon. Clear, gentle, sweet, tender voices called to her from inside the mountain.

Just when she placed her palm on the huge rock, a sheer force threw her far away, as it sucked into her blood, draining the coldness in her body. She rolled in the mud with the loudest scream, just like the dragon Aegerax, and the dragon echoed her back with a thunderous roar as though it acknowledged her presence.

“Holy shit!!! Did you just get thrown?” Ser Trystane lifted her in his arms and she unceremoniously stood on her toes, unable to believe the Dragonmont was truly cursed. Or that someone had spelled the whole Dragonmont.

“I think… I think…” She blubbered.

“It is true. The Gods of your father are rejecting you.” He claimed calmly, and it irritated her burning skin. Her pale skin was burning like fire, and Ser Trystane himself pulled his arms away from her with a loud hiss.

“No!” She yelled. “The Gods don’t reject me.” She screamed. “They can’t reject me. I have done nothing wrong for the Gods to reject me.” Her eyes became dark red in anger. “They can’t-” She chanted with tears falling down her cheeks and her knees sinking into the sand.

Her soul was flying so light, and it was easily lifted by the time her tears started drying. So, there goes away the last strand of hope in her life. No dragon to lift away her misery. Her blood was jinxed by some wrong ritual. Or that she was truly a cursed child of her family. With no powers and a hope in claiming a dragon, she began looking for what was capable in her hands.

“Why Trystane? Why would the Gods be cruel to me?” She asked in a heavy heart and blinked up to look at him. “Perhaps, I deserve what I did to those girls. We should save our men. They might need our help.”

Rather than answering her question, he looked beyond her, his gaze fixated onto the mountain from where she was thrown away. His eyes bulged, swelled even bigger, and he fell down with an open jaw into the sand. With small tremors that vibrated beneath her toes, a huge shadow loomed over her head. And she turned to see her destiny, eye to eye. Frozen blue to the crystal blue.

There was no more fear, no more worry, no more sadness, no more anger.

Nothing, except for the feeling of belonging.

_And she found her love!_


	20. A Mocking Bird

_**AEGON** _

A small hummingbird with its continuous fluttering wings that were formed by exotic orange, blue and fiery red feathers, spiraled and spun in a waving motion around a delicate golden flower. It was a heartwarming sight. He could watch it dance all day without blinking his eyelids. Just like his dragon who was lazily monitoring the exotic little bird through his molten black orbs, restraining himself to stop huffing out smoke just to not disturb that tiny creature.

Aegon loved the fragrance of flowers. He loved those tiny birds. He loved the fierce need in their little soul to survive amongst deadly dragons like his Black Dread. It wouldn’t take a second for the little hummingbird to turn into ash if he would ask Balerion to whisper a cough. The bird was very well aware of it. In an anticipated fear, it’s fluttered wings to hoist it up to the sky, every now and again, before it gained the courage to lower itself to suckle the honey. Such should be the fear for a dragon. As much as he adored its fierceness he enjoyed seeing it cower with dread before the power of the Black Dread.

“You have been insulting our hosts,” Visenya called from behind. Sure, he was. When he had no idea to pluck out the truth from these slave mongers, the least merriment was to insult them in their own hall. “Aegon!!!” Visenya’s voice dreaded with worry.

“How do you want me to embrace their hospitality, Visenya?” His gaze still steered towards his dragon and the little hummingbird. “By sleeping with the bed slaves they are offering?” He asked nonchalantly. Aegon wouldn’t dare to ask these same questions to Rhaenys. His Rhaenys was gentle of heart. Even the slightest hint of other women in his bed would hurt her. Visenya could bare a few harsh realities of the world. “Or by trusting their lies and tucking my tail to leave towards Dragonstone?”

“How about you don’t invoke more suspicions by constantly staring at your dragon? Or try to honor their hospitality by sitting on the dais?” She sneered. It was truly easy to rouse his big sister.

“That’s why I bought you with me. Go!!! Delight them with your humor and make them believe, I am not plotting to burn this shitty town to mud.” He simmered with equal insanity. It wasn’t that Visenya was wrong. He should be conversing with the Archon of Tyrosh on the dais, politely accepting his so-called feigned hospitality. All throughout these bleeding years, Aegon had stood with these strange slavers, against the great Volantis, hoping day after day to find a chance to enter their domain. After all, his house, Targaryen, was the last of the dragon lords. If anyone had the rights to take over the cities, as the last surviving house of Old Valyria, it was all Aegon’s by rights.

“Humor?” Visenya chuckled dryly. “I sure enjoy a humor but I don’t make one.” Her perfect brows lifted up, increasing the creases of her forehead. “Besides, if it was humor, curtsies, songs, and smiles you needed, you should have bought our lovely sister here. Not me!” She bristled.

Aegon flexed his fingers tight, a sudden flood of regret flushing his soul, lighting it with anger and remorse. He should have taken Rhaenys. She enjoyed being on her dragon, up in the air more than residing inside the stone castle. She would have made everything easy for him. Had it been Rhaenys in Visenya’s stead, she would have consoled him, soothed his pain, eased his tension. Visenya was everything Rhaenys wasn’t. Times like this, when his sisters would test his patience, he truly regretted marrying all of them.

“Oh, I forgot!! You are punishing your favored wife. Your little Rhaenys. Aren’t you?” Visenya gave a tooth full smile, her instant dark amusement spreading along her perfect lips. There was nothing short of perfection in both of his trueborn sisters. Even darkness played its rueful dance in its fullest trance on Visenya’s perfect purple orbs. A true Valyrian trait. Right and wrong, good and bad, truth and lie, everything was done to perfection in his line of blood. Even he wasn’t an exception. _Perhaps it was why he sought for imperfection._ He sought for the woman he should have never pursued. _The perfect little imperfection of his well-honored life._ “Well, the court humor in DragonStone is that you fucked your favored wife on your wedding night with the simpleton. Should I share that harmless humor with the Archon on the dais? He has been inquiring about your new wife, after all, ever since we have set foot.”

This was the exact reason why he hated Visenya. She spat the harsh realities to his face, adding salt to his injury. She wouldn’t care about his trail. She wouldn’t bother to look at his plight. She was the same woman who threw him down to mud, beat him till his nose had broken and rib had cracked because Father had deemed to pass down Blackfyre to him over her when they were young. Just to convince her wrath, for the first time, in the history of House Targaryen, the other Valyrian sword was given to her hand, which naturally obtained her mockery name. She deserved the sword. True. But there were instances when he wanted her to agree with him, rather than fuck him over behind his back, just because she would decide what was right for the house. It was always a war of words and swords with Visenya. Just like now…

The siblings conducted a staring contest, to figure who would win out the battle of glaring. He wouldn’t answer for such insolent comments passed by random people at court. What was Visenya expecting? To apologize? It was her suggestion that had led them to this precarious mishap. Had she not interfered and let him take care of Irina, in the way he had known best, there wouldn’t be such troubles. It was all her tasteless and senseless ideas.

Just when Visenya opened her lips, a girl holding a tray of wine and ales, along with a flute of milk of the poppy — an addiction for invisible cures in body, approached them both. Visenya instantly sneered, evidently expressing her dis likeness to the young maid. He should have bought Rhaenys. Rhaenys would have milked every single secret of the Tyrosh Lord, out from the maid, rather than trying to scare the girl with dragon claws like Visenya. Pulling whatever small smile that was possible to draw out from his mouth, Aegon forcefully curved his lips, picking the wine cup and directing his gaze towards the dais where the fat Archon raised his own golden cup in merriment.

The joyous celebration increased an inch higher when the court singer, in his bastard Valyrian tongue, raised his awful voice a little higher. His ears rung with the pain of hearing and bearing the formal ceremony. How was this in any world would be called a true ceremony? Every maid, servants, dancers, and singers were slaves. Having experienced true power with true, loyal men, to witness such a tasteless ceremony soured him some more.

“My lord” The maid who might not be more than three and ten, a possible Lyseni girl, carrying the same Valyrian trait as his sisters, offered a sultry smile at his direction. For a moment, he failed to anticipate her intention, but the next moment when her thin, boney fingers trailed towards his scaled leather vest, he jerked away. “I have been newly flowered and a gift for your presence by the Archon, my lord. My Maidenhead is yours—“

“Sorry! I have to stop you.” He carefully pried her fingers away. “If you haven’t observed, this is my lady wife.” He pulled Visenya’s reluctant waist and his sister rolled her eyes with no bother. “And I have two more for my fancies. I am all set for this lifetime.” He drawled with no shame. “You can leave, my lady.” He was as courteous as he could be. The girl pouted and refused to leave, begging him to embrace her lustful advance, her hands skimming over his body, while her own body began invading to cover him all over. All the more, he hated the place. Surely, such venomous thoughts were ingrained into her head to please him, at any cost. They were slaves, after all. They were trained. In the last attempt, when the girl stomped her legs, trying to persuade him, Visenya pulled her dirk from the leather belt and the girl ran, shrieking and yelling aloud.

“Is he attempting to drug you and make you bare in bed?” Visenya asked curiously.

“I can’t tell for sure, sister. This isn’t uncommon amongst these lots. They offer a young slave maiden and even worse drugs to go inebriated all the time.”

“But there is something amiss… Isn’t it?”

Aegon raised the cup to the Archon and sipped the wine glass. “No matter what, the Tyroshi is incapable to take our dragons. I can bet my life on it. But he knows something and is trying in every way to please us. Just so he won’t end up becoming our enemies.”

Visenya crossed her hands across her chest and leaned against the door. “He asked about Irina. Over and over. If she appears beautiful — if she would be claiming a dragon — if she would visit his simple abode, ever—“

“He does know something about her then. Something about all the attacks happening in Dragonstone.” The Tyroshi lord had relied on Aegon’s hands in the past. It was quite difficult for Aegon to believe this man would have sent the raiding party to Dragonstone. Even a mad slaver wouldn’t be mad enough to test Aegon’s strength.

His skin burned at the possibility of a betrayal from these slavers. He wouldn’t be a fool to trust them. Also, he wasn’t foolish enough to raise an alarm without concrete proof. He had set upon this journey to figure out the true source from where the raiders came. This was his third and last spot to track. With whatever information Orys had described about the appearance of the raiders, Aegon had first landed on Pentos. A city which was denied with any defense by the Braavos.

Visenya had brooded that the raiders should be the Braavosi, and their strange gods, who still held vengeance against the Old Valyria and its descendants. “We should take one child from each warlord, for good term and peace. If they have no involvement in these continuous attacks, we will not harm the children. Else, we will show our strength.”

Aegon had nothing against taking children as hostages. But he also had nothing against the Braavosi. No proof that the raids were happening in their name. No proof that the few Dothrakis, fancy fat Pentoshis, or hair-colored Tyroshis, who came to the raids, were picked by Braavosi to attack his home and his family. Besides, he was aware of the Braavosi’s way of attack. They would prefer to give easy, clean death to Aegon through those faceless cunts. Not what Irina had to go through. Even the flash of her bruised face squeezed his chest.

He had one duty. His clenching heart squeezed at the reminder of her broken face and crying soul. He should have protected her and kept her away from harm. He failed. Just like his father always had reminded him, Aegon simply failed and proved his father right. _Would his father be showering curses at Aegon, for letting his favored child suffer? Or would Aegon even care if his father cursed him?_

The Prince of Pentos had pointed his fingers at the Volantenese slavers.

The same happened with the Lorathis. And now with the Tyroshis.

They all fucking pointed their fingers at the Volantenese Tigers.

Only Aegon had no trust in their words. They were all hiding a truth from him, and he had no idea how to extract it. Threatening with a dragon would only cause long-lasting vengeance, which he didn’t want to deal with. What was he supposed to do?

His head began thrumming with the ache of being constantly pushed and pulled. On one side, a thin thread pulled every time raiders landed on Dragonstone to hunt his third wife. On the other side, another thread pulled when his third wife would rather feel happy in being hunted than to live under his protection. Oh, there was also yet another side, where Rhaenys pulled a thread, making the sad, unhappy face of letting her down and choosing another woman. And there was his own conscious side of his head, that kept humming mockery slur words to his face for slowly turning to be a man he always had hated of becoming.

He should have stayed away from her. She had not brought any hope of peace to his heart. She was a human embodiment of his sins. _Lust, rage, anger, thirst, and hunger all together had taken the shape of a woman and had tested him._

And he failed. He fucking failed in controlling his wavering heart. He could hear his father laughing again, a sick smile of mockery, with his cunning grin and murderous eyes, a combination of dreadful wrath. _‘You are my son, Aegon. And you aren’t any different from me.’_ Lord Aerion’s voice dwindled passionately in thin threads inside his head, constantly giving a waking ache, not letting him gain any control of his destiny.

“We won’t find any truth here, Aegon.” Visenya pulled him out from a swiveling drain that was his head, and he momentarily relaxed, flexing his fingers over and over.

“What do you think we must do?” He asked, in a sincere concern. He respected her judgments, although she would always remain a pain in his ass, Visenya by all means a great warrior.

“We should do what we have been planning on doing since we raised swords and lances.” Her eyes glistened with a newfound anticipation and glee. Fingers clutching each other, Visenya leaned forward. “We will take the world, Aegon.”

“Ridiculous, Visenya!” He shrilled but paused to take note of the surrounding. “Can’t you see how preposterous your idea is? Have you already forgotten what happened to Aurion with his dragons when he entered the domain of Valyria?”

Aegon leaped out from the Hall, towards his dragon, unwilling to become a victim to the spies. As much as he valued her opinion, she had been singing the same old song for years. Yes! It was a natural instinct, as a boy, to conquer the whole world and rule justly. Aegon had fought with his father, much to his father’s chagrin, pleading to aid his folly. All those sore years, when his father would laugh at Aegon’s face, had not been mopped out of his memory. The wounds were still so fresh in his heart, even after so many years of his father’s demise.

_‘Live with gratitude that I have given you a castle and dragon. And my daughters! Never dream of things that are short of your ability, Aegon.’_

His father’s burning words still were able to wound him, hurt him, pulling him down a peg every time he climbed a step above.

“Preposterous?” Visenya scowled, her ragged breath burning his skin alive with accusation. “Do you think my suggestion is preposterous?” She walked fast enough to block his path, moving forward. “I gave up everything for this. You promised you would give me a realm to rule, the power to have everything I desired.!”

“Don’t do that.” He warned, his forehead creased with folds of built-up wrath. He was simmering inside. He had been dealing with all of it alone without letting anyone share the pain. He wouldn’t wait to hear once again of how much she gave up and became a martyr. The attack in Dragonstone, the bargaining with his inheritance, the sudden marriage plan, his wedding night with Irina, his father’s curse words, wounding Rhaenys’s heart, and now, his another failure in figuring out the enemy. He wouldn’t deal with Visenya’s whining. No, he just couldn’t afford to pile up his frustrations and let it stink. “When the time comes, I will-”

“When the time comes?” She scowled and turned her back on him, walking towards Balerion. Vhagar was tied to the southern end of the castle. The dragons didn’t like each other, rather fought too much with claws and fire. It was better to be kept at a distance rather than together. Just like him and Visenya. “Tell me Aegon, when the time would come?”

What was this, some game? They needed to plan and proceed. Not declare and decide on the run to burn down cities. There were lives at risk.

She chuckled dryly. “You are a craven, brother! If you fear so much for life, then let me put on the armor, and you can put on a gown, singing songs.” Aegon had heard enough from her throughout the journey with patience, when she had kept insisting on taking hostages, burning cities, taking all the cities in the East. Now, though, his anger even had a limit to be sealed. Limit to be controlled. “Tell me when you grow your up some balls. Fucking cunt!” She screamed.

His blood boiled in rage. He didn’t realize how or when his fist curled around the hilt of his long sword. The next breathing second, he placed the burning black steel against his sister’s unprotected neck. Even for the faintest touch, Blackfyre was capable of drawing blood. With him pressing it to her neck, she was bleeding profusely, wetting her black armor red, decorating it with his house color.

“How many times will you undermine me, Visenya?” He asked with gritted teeth, not bothering that the Tyroshi guards began surrounding them and watch them play. “I am so sick and tired of your games. Do you want to test if I am man enough? Raise your sword. I will prove it to you.” He bellowed while his face heated so easily. He needed to fight and let out all his buried anger. He desired she would raise her sword, so he could finally feel being the one in control and not be always undermined in all decisions.

But she didn’t.

Glancing to the sides, observing the gathered guards, she made a forced smile, just so they would not keep observing what the siblings were ranting about. He truly didn’t care what others would perceive. In fact, he never cared about what others would think of him. He would have given anything to call for a duel, so he could lay down his burning rage on his sword, and find a momentary relief in the brawling match. He hadn’t been able to fight with Rhaenys. Not when she’d cried till her eyes went red. He couldn’t find in his heart to yell at her for being mean and harsh to their own sister. If he had hurt Rhaenys, he was well aware that he would end up hurting himself. He loved her that much.

Not that he was any better than Rhaenys. He should have stayed that night away. Or climbed on his dragon to his own little wooden house. Or that he could have spoken with Orys about his plan. He hadn’t thought of seeking Rhaenys as how the household had slandered. He only left to his chamber after having a fallback with Irina.

Aegon’s pride had been so much bruised when Irina had claimed she had nothing to do with him later that night. He could have demanded her to comply with him. He was the man. He was the husband. And it was his rights. But he’d spared her, even when his cock had urged his lust to take her in all the ways he had been fantasizing. He had given her everything she sought. Didn’t he? He had even been so much gentle with her, accounting for what had happened to her by the Dothraki savage. He had been caring and warm, even when she had turned him down and defied every order of his, as though she had the rights of it.

With all those insults in heart, when Rhaenys had kept persuading him, he was more than pleasured to comply with her. Yes, he was shameless that he hadn’t thought about how others would twist this information and hurt Irina. He had no care for the opinions of the world. Not that he had completely forgiven Rhaenys. By all means, he had condemned her for tormenting their little sister with such derogatory remarks. And he had left with Visenya, leaving the castle duties to Rhaenys, sending a missive to Orys to take care of Irina.

He had hoped on having distance with them both. The three were hurting each other. Especially, he had hurt Rhaenys in the process of taking what he had desired. Rhaenys’s harsh words to Irina were just a cry for help. He had wounded Rhaenys by marrying Irina, and she had expressed that pain by lashing at their half-sister. He had understood. It was important for him to re-evaluate his own decisions and find a balance where he could make his family not become a laughingstock. And he was well aware of his own selfish heart, which would seek Orys’s holdfast to have his way with Irina if he had stayed consoling Rhaenys.

The monstrous, ugly truth was that he had no control when it came to that inviting creature. The woman’s skin was made of sin, taunting him, teasing him, and aching his loins, even at the faintest memory of her cheeky smile. He wouldn’t have stopped himself from seeking her bed, at the night’s cloak. When morning would come, his sanity might return, but not in the covers of darkness. He would have taken her as his cock wished to wander on her body, even if she would not will herself to give him. _What could she do? She is all mine. I gave her everything that even their sire denied providing and cared for her. She should be grateful and worship me for everything that I have granted. Every freaking inch of hers is mine by rights, now. That is all mattered to him._

Not that his journey was anywhere close to victory. Visenya had a grain of truth to her displeasure of his failure. He had taken an oath to burn anyone who had come to touch a woman of his house. The very thought about that incident boiled his putrid blood. She was touched by another man. Someone had tried to touch what belonged to him, and here he was unable to find who in this damned world had the true stomach to challenge him. Backstabbing cunts!!!

He sheathed his sword back to his scabbard, and walked away, leaving Visenya in her blood-drenched armor at which Balerion keep sneering and snarling. Dragons loved the scent of blood. If Visenya was any better at her skill, as she had claimed, she would rather walk away from the spot.

Every fucking thing was out of control.

Taking a dull spot on the rock nearby, he kept lamenting in his head, about the ill favors of his life, for what seemed hours. When boots crunched down the dry leaves, he knew it was Visenya, but didn’t bother to turn and find her.

“You know I have the right of it.” She said in a calmer voice.

“You don’t. It is exceedingly complex and hard to lay claim to these lands. Father was right when he said I am incapable of it.”

“For a man who hated our father all your life, you have taken his words much more seriously.”

That he did. Sure. Aegon had never stopped questioning if he was worthy enough to try to acquire the fullest of his powers. There was a constant struggle all the time. “Three dragons against the world, Visenya. It would be much easier to conquer. It is the ruling part I worry about. We won’t stay and sustain. Besides, I digress and loathe slavery. There is nothing honorable about it.”

“It need not be,” Visenya replied calmly, kneeling before him, holding his hand in hers. “I didn’t ask you to marry Irina, just so she would keep quiet about inheritance. With her bound to our family, we will have four dragons, Aegon.”

He laughed. With crinkles forming near his eyes, he laughed like a moron, throwing away her hands that held his. “You could make a humor.” He chortled, turning his gaze at the dragon behind. “Irina is a fickle-minded creature. Do you think she can have control of anything? Father himself thought she would fail to claim a dragon. At best, she would get burned.”

“Why do you underestimate her so much?” Visenya asked with a serious tone of a sister, her hands folding against her chest. “Have you forgotten how she acquired control of all the birds of Dragonstone?”

“Control? The magic in her blood was a mishap, and she herself doesn’t know when it would stay or when it would leave. She is wrong in her head, Visenya. She doesn’t know how to behave like a lady. She carelessly jumps into an ocean living in her head that I would kill. And she chatters with no care of using crass words. Accuses and abuses all high-born women in the court. Not to mention how she challenges a fight that she has no capacity to win. She keeps-”

“Why did you marry her then?” Visenya balked, her eyes drawn together with a distaste.

“I wouldn’t have…” He took a deep breath. Had that attack never happened, he would have preferred to keep her locked in that bloody tower. He would have convinced Irina to trust him if he hadn’t been kept out on the nights with dark spells when she had been recovering. She had gone far out of his reach, by the time she came out of Visenya’s chambers. He couldn’t make her stay or make her trust him thereafter. “If you hadn’t interfered, I would have found other ways.”

“You mean, like getting her with your bastard, and keep her locked in that tower.” Visenya bristled. Suddenly guilt washed over him, accusing him with fat fingers for doing the things he had done before his marriage with her. “Seven Hells, Aegon!” Visenya shook her head, voice lacing with disgust and poison. “What madness has got into your head?”

“It isn’t like that. It is…” He hesitated, after all, Visenya was his big sister and wife, for namesake. “I would have controlled her, Visenya. She was under my control.”

“With your lies…” Visenya yelled. “I don’t know who among the both of you is crueler to that child. How many times, have I warned you about her being abused by Rhaenys’s ladies? If you had shown little kindness…”

“Kindness?” Aegon raised from the rock where he had sat down. He wouldn’t be explaining how Irina deserved no kindness from his family. “I have agreed to meet all her whims. And I married her, even when no lords in Dragonstone would want nothing to do with her. She would have been discarded in this world if not for my kindness. She would have been pelted with stones for her savage skills, if not for my kindness. I have shown enough kindness to her, Visenya. I took care of her. I provided her with everything she asked for. Yet, she kept wanting more and more. I will never give her a dragon.”

Visenya’s lips parted in shock by his confession, while her eyes remained with a puzzled amusement. “You are truly a deranged fucked up moron. I wonder if our mother would be so overjoyed to look how you have grown up to be like she was when you were born.”

Striking hard and heavy down to his chest, the remainder of his mother wiped out every single problem in his memory. He fell silent. For a momentary second, every sound dulled. Visenya was indeed murmuring something, but he didn’t care. He could even now taste his mother’s last smile. If he had a chance to visit the past…

“Aegon!” Visenya screamed, her hands holding his shoulder. “Did you hear what I told?” He shook his head, uninterested. “Irina is a boon to us, Aegon. Listen to me! With her, we can take anything we want. Show her some care. True care. Give her a dragon and pacify her. She will understand and work for our cause.”

“She will keep demanding for more.” Aegon merely stated, with no enthusiasm. “It is in her blood to crave for more. She won’t stop with what I provide. If you let her realize her true power, she won’t shy away from executing us all and take what she desires.”

“Is that what you worry about?” Visenya momentarily analyzed his words before raising her chin up to see the sky. There was something odd and mysterious, with how the clouds darkened. Would it be raining? He had no plans on staying here anymore. He could make his black dread high above the clouds, momentarily, and fly to his wooden house. “Give her a child and give her a purpose to never go against our family.”

“A child?” Aegon was alerted now. The gravity of the word felt strange on his tongue. His father’s mocking laughter of his inability to bring a child even when he had two wives spun again in his head.

“You realize the need of a child. Don’t you?”

Combing his fingers through his silken hair, he refused to face the truth. He had known and eagerly expected every time Rhaenys would come to him with a smile. Not that he had intended to hurt her. He just realized it hadn’t happened in the last seven years. He had lost hopes now that it would ever happen.

“She is young, healthy, and fertile, Aegon.”

“It isn’t Rhaenys’s fault. She is also young and fertile. It could be my own fault.” Aegon countered. He would have never bothered to express this to anyone. There were certain things that a man should never admit. Some strange feeling in him allowed him to admit to Visenya. The sister who he kept fighting and chasing and cursing was the only one to understand the depth of his soul. He trusted her.

“Listen to me. They both are different. You should have to spend your time with her. Give her a child and she would be always in our hold.”

Aegon chuckled. “You are determined. Aren’t you?” His brow raised, scrutinizing Visenya’s intentions. “You want everything and it doesn’t matter the cost of it.”

“Don’t pretend you are any better, brother. At least, I don’t hide behind false promises. I am true to myself.” Visenya glowered with equal sinister notion. “Fuck her with passion and put a child in her belly. We can have everything.”

Aegon’s heart blossomed a little at the prospect of a child. A child to extend his line. No matter if he conquered the world or not, he needed it. Although, there were other ways to get a child, as Visenya suggested with her black magic. He hadn’t been truly involved and agreed to that arrangement. He wanted his own blood to continue his line, not some half spun dark spell, with no human touch to its heart. Not to mention what price they had to pay.

“One day, we could rule all of these people.” Visenya had a proud smirk.

“We won’t. I am not interested in slaves and slavers. I value my sanity and my life. You have too much trust in Irina, while I don’t. She had lost her magical skill, Visenya. Besides…” He sighed. “I won’t use her even if she manages to gain her skills back. Let her be in her small world. If she ever retrieved her abilities and decides to warg into our dragons, then we will be unarmed. Let her be in my control…”

A roar loud as thunder, lightning, broke through the sky, breaking his own voice. His instinct reaction was to reach for Balerion, who stood perched up far away from him, looking up at the clouded sky, threatened by an unknown source.

Aegon felt it. His skin instantly burned at the realization.

“Get your dragon, Aegon!” Visenya screamed, but he didn’t move. Tightening his fist close till his knuckles went white, he stared up at the looming giant dragon. He held his wavering thoughts at bay, controlling all the nerves that beat mercilessly to scream at such a grandeur of defiance. Somehow, by some mysterious connection, Balerion enacted his wroth and fury with his roar, loud as the blue dragon, that he himself had never seen once before. “How did she control it?” Visenya asked, curiosity dripping in her voice.

Although, in a rebuttal to his Black Dread’s roar, the crystal blue monster gave a loud cry, threatening to swallow the world, and even Aegon himself felt a little shudder surge through his nerves. His warrior sister, Visenya, held her ground, for the first time realizing what kind of dangerous weapon was growing like a weed in his own house. Visenya’s throat swallowed a bit, the enormity of holding a cursed dragon that no one in the House Targaryen ever succeeded to own, threatening their power and control.

In Visenya’s eyes, for the first time, something more than fascination was drawn. The gravity of power their little sister who was merely six and ten held, undermined both Aegon and Visenya together.

Aegon couldn’t get to look at the woman who was born to bring disaster to his hopes. The dragon was huge, dropping two charred meat bodies from the sky, which gave more angst to Aegon’s sanity. _What in the seven hells happened?_

The Archon of Tyrosh, his several hundred guards, began marching next to Aegon. He slightly nudged Visenya to leave, to find her dragon, and mount on it. Without any words, Visenya took her cue and walked towards her dragon, carefully so as to not alert the hosts. If his stupid little sister on dragon-back planned on firing down the castle in Tyrosh, Aegon wouldn’t survive. He wouldn’t put it past Irina’s insanity.

“Has your third wife come to honor my halls, my lord?” The bearded man enquired, although the subtle hint of threat hadn’t gone unnoticed by Aegon.

Finally, the blue dragon landed. He was expecting her to arrive. He wanted her to seek and speak with him.

She hadn’t.

Aegon had no idea who those bodies were, or how she got her hands on Aegerax, or if she had harmed Rhaenys in her spiteful vengeance. If she had done any harm to Rhaenys, he would not mind killing her. But he remained poised and calm, trying to put on an act to mask his vulnerability. There were so many questions, along with his anger that kept raising every second she denied coming down from her dragon.

A boy with dirty hair, thin and boney structure, not more than eight years old, slid down from the dragon and ran towards Aegon. She had taken yet another stray.

With the boy’s tanned skin and boney body, he knew this should be some fisherfolk’s son, which brought him the question of how did Orys allow her to make friends when he had clearly warned him not to let her come out from his holdfast.

“Aegon?” The boy, in his spunk, forgetting to mention Aegon’s formal titles, extended a small chit of a parchment. The boy was about to flee after delivering the information, but Aegon locked his elbow against the boy’s neck, dragging the boy close to his side, so he wouldn’t escape before he had got his sister’s royal ass down from the dragon.

She didn’t come, even then.

And when he raised his head to see her dragon, she was perching atop, in what couldn’t be described as a modest dress for even a fisherwoman.

The audacity of this woman to land into some lords’ castle and insult him did wonders in his head.

They were at a safe distance. He couldn’t make much out of her. It was all about the dragon she held. Comparing to his Black Dread, that blue monster was even more enormous, dreadful, dangerous. At the same time, it was alluring. Even the Tyroshi lord and his guards murmured about the magnificent creature.

Disturbing the sight, Visenya flew on Vhagar, landing and reaching down next and close to the blue monster. Finally, Aegon noticed his third sister climbing down. Small and curvy still, he could not believe she managed to bring that dragon in her control. For what seemed like minutes, both his sisters spoke.

“Marvellous!” The Archon commented, not just at the blue dragon but at his wife, whose unruly brown hair dwindled beautifully in the air. It was the allure of power. She appeared more desirable with her frilly clothes. He wondered what had happened to Trystane. The slightest hint that she had been roaming around in such seductive attire, in Orys’s holdfast, where twelve men he had sent been guarding her, gave chills down his bone.

“What is your name?” Aegon asked the boy who was struggling to run.

“Get lost! Irina asked me to be careful with you, monster.” The boy with all his stupid manners jumped here and there. “Leave me be else she’ll burn you all. Insolent cunts! Seven stupid asses! Mother fucking-”

Aegon allowed the boy to run before he would feel justified enough to cut out the impudent child’s tongue. Somehow, he knew the boy mattered something to his little sister.

Moreover, there was this feeling inside, along with a surge of anger, an unknown new perception that kept hammering his heart and skin. He didn’t want to name it. He never knew what it was, ever since his birth. For the first time, this feeling bloomed.

It happened in seconds. Visenya walked towards him with a blank face. And the boy who clutched to his little wife’s skirt, probably spilled some venom pointing his fingers at Aegon. Finally, his beloved, wife graced Aegon with her ever strong, scornful attitude.

Her gaze was distant. But coldness stemmed from her punishing orbs. With no respect for him, unapologetically, she climbed the dragon, and the lazy-ass mountain lifted her slowly high in the sky.

“Is Rhaenys safe in Dragonstone?” Aegon’s lips automatically formed a question in Old Valyrian, not caring if the Tyroshi would learn of his trepidation or not.

Visenya gave an odd look and nodded her head.

He gave out a loud sigh, visibly relaxed by the ordeal.

It was then it dawned, the name of the feeling.

_Fear!_

He feared her. He fucking feared to take any cause of action that might rouse her mood and tempt her to roast this place. Seven freaking hell! He never thought he would ever fear in his life. But she showed him.

“We need to leave to Dragonstone,” Visenya whispered. “Right, now!”

What had she done? Words locked in his throat and his eyes moved to the charred bodies that she had thrown down from her dragon. Who had she murdered now?

Inside the parchment, only two words were written.

_Justice served!_


End file.
